NL Central

(UPDATED) New Astros Logo & Uniforms Leaked Early by MLB!

Word was, VIP ticketholders were going to get the first look at the Astros' new uniforms, logos and mascot attire. Friday was supposed to be the day. But Major League Baseball beat the home team to it, pretty much well undermining at least the planned unveiling at Minute Maid Park on November 2. U ... More >>

The Best Managers in Astros History

With the Washington Nationals out of the playoffs, their former third base coach Bo Porter is now in the field manager of the Houston Astros. He's busy assembling staff - retaining Doug Brocail and Dave Clark as coaches doesn't exactly fill me with confidence however. As of now, Porter's just anoth ... More >>

20 Reasons To Buy 2013 Astros Season Tickets (No, Really)

You've probably forgotten about baseball by now. The Astros season ended a long time ago, and unless you live in St. Louis or New York, the odds are that nobody really gives a damn about the Cardinals and Yankees. It might be nice if the Detroit Tigers make the World Series if Kate Upton shows up to ... More >>

We Dared To Go: The Astros Last Home Game Of A Godawful 2012, And the End Of Several Eras

Check out our slideshow of Milo Hamilton saying goodbye and more during the Astros' final 2012 home game. Astros fans probably knew back in April that they would have a hard row to hoe this year, but even still, every April brings out a sense of optimism in fans, and the unspoken concept that maybe ... More >>

Comment of the Day: On the End of an Astros Era

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>

Tonight: The End Of An Astros Era (Last Chance To See National League, Old Uniforms, Bill Brown, Etc.)

For many, the end of this year's Houston Astro season -- much like last year's Astro season -- could not come soon enough. There are only so many 100-loss campaigns even the most diehard fans can be expected to endure, after all. (In case you are keeping score at home, the Astros are 42 and a half ... More >>

Surely Bill Brown Will Still Broadcast Astros Games Next Season. Right? Right?

Last week the Houston Astros attempted to give us Weekend at Bernie's involving Joe Niekro. Then they misspelled Jim Deshaies' name in the post about Niekro. And in wake of the erector-set billboards blocking the views in left field, one can only wonder what the Astros are going to botch next. What ... More >>

What, Larry Dierker Wants To Come Back? Then What Are The Astros Waiting For?

You've probably checked out on the Astros already, at least you have judging by the attendance. But the Astros are busy making preparations for next season in hopes that they'll be able to grab your attention and get you back out to the ballpark. They've fired most of the front office staff, and th ... More >>

9 Ways To Get Astros Fans In The Seats

I admit that I have only seen two Houston Astros baseball games at Minute Maid Park this year. It's not as if their losing and heartbreaking ways are keeping me away though. It's always been an evening option for me, but I rarely take the 'Stros up on the offer of a night of Kiss Cams and stale nach ... More >>

The Roger Clemens Comeback Tour Continues

Roger Clemens claims he's not coming back to major league baseball this season. I don't think anybody really believes Clemens when he says he's not coming back to the majors, otherwise, this whole thing doesn't make sense. If he's not coming back, then why else go through the motions of getting ba ... More >>

The Return of Roger Clemens and Some Other Dumb Ideas for Jim Crane

I've been onboard with most of what the Houston Astros have done this season. The team needed to be blown up. New blood was needed in the front office, the dugout, and on the roster. All that has happened, and though the team has been bad, the promise of the future has kept me invested in this team. ... More >>

Houston Chronicle Sports Goes Bleacher Report

The Houston Chronicle sports page is a sad shadow of what it used to be. Tons of talented writers have been laid off the past several years, or they have departed on their own because they just couldn't take it anymore. Many of the reporters left are having to double up on beats, like Joseph Duarte ... More >>

Know Your Local Media: Adam Wexler of Sportstalk 790's the Big Show Dishes on Bad Callers, On-Air Chemistry

It's been a long time coming for Adam Wexler, co-host of the Big Show mornings on 790 AM. Always one of the smartest guys in Houston sports talk, he bounced around to various stations and time slots, from morning to evening and back again. But, the magical on-air chemistry he had with Matt Jackson e ... More >>

Pro Football's Birthday: The Oh-So-Manly Hupmobile, A Star Named "Pudge" And Drafting Off Baseball's Heat

For an incredibly high-profile operation like the NFL, the league's beginnings are somewhat murky. A loose collection of teams, players, schedules and shifting alliances, the early days of the league bear almost no resemblance to the streamlined corporate machine that dominates the current sports l ... More >>

Astros Put Fans Out Of Their Misery And Fire Brad Mills

So the Astros bloodletting continued this weekend. Manager Brad Mills, hitting coach Mike Barnett, and first base coach Bobby Meacham were fired after Saturday night's embarrassing lost to the Arizona Diamondbacks. The firing of Mills was expected (as was the firing of most of the coaching staff) th ... More >>

If You Boycotted The Astros, Would Anybody Notice? Would It Make Any Difference?

Listening to sports talk radio yesterday afternoon, I heard a caller demanding that the fans boycott the Astros. First, it's pretty evident from the lack of attendance this season that many of you are already boycotting the ballclub, but secondly, just what it is that you want the Astros to do? Thi ... More >>

The Astrodome Will Live Another Year, If You Call What It's Doing Living

So another year's going to pass with nothing being done about the Astrodome. Another year where the citizens of Harris County will be paying three to four million dollars in maintenance fees for a place that's being so poorly maintained that it's not safe to enter and has just become a useless bulk ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Oh, These Astros Suck

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>

6 Unsolicited Suggestions About the Astros Fan Experience

The Houston Astros sent me a little fan survey last week, wanting my thoughts on the so-called fan experience at Minute Maid Park. There were some rather standard questions about where I usually sit, what price I usually pay for tickets and for parking. There weren't however, very many questions a ... More >>

Dear Astros Fans, Repeat After Me: Rebuilding Is A Good Thing

There are some Astros fans who are kind of upset about the veteran purge going on with the team at the moment. These fans profess to understand the team's need to rebuild, finally. But they don't want this rebuild to come at the expense of the big league club. What has to be understood is the Astr ... More >>

Six Houston LINdmarks That LINd Themselves to Further LINsanity

When being interviewed over the last week, newly acquired Rockets guard Jeremy Lin admitted that the use of his last name for Lin-based puns got a little old in New York. In fact, he banned the use of them among friends, but he did admit that of all the ones he had seen, his favorite was probably Su ... More >>

The Best Ever Houston Free Agent Signings

So the Houston Rockets have signed turnover machine/point guard/free agent Jeremy Lin to a contract, and apparently, the city of Houston is going nuts. I'm not quite ready to buy into the hype, and I'm not going to be doing any stupid puns on his name. That said, good luck to the kid and the Rockets ... More >>

Ten Reasons to Keep Watching the Astros

The Astros, post-All-Star break, have been much like the Astros pre-All-Star break. They're still losing -- they were swept by the San Francisco Giants over the weekend. The offense is still awful. They're decimated by injuries. And management is still making tons of head-scratching decisions. So yo ... More >>

Cesar Cedeno And The Astros Career That Could Have Been

I've written in the past that I loved watching Jeff Bagwell play baseball. He's the best all-around player the Astros have ever had; a superb hitter, base runner and a fantastic defensive player. I've never seen anybody who was better at turning the 3-6-3 double play and he was fearless when it came ... More >>

The Astros And The Fourth of July: 10 Moments to Remember

This is the Astros final season in the National League. And since I was asked to provide a Fourth of July holiday post, I thought I would like back at some of the Astros games played on the holiday. There have been some memorable games, and some not so memorable. And on at least one instance, there ... More >>

Heat Index: The 10 Summer Album Releases We're Sweatin' the Most

Most places in the world, summertime is easy living: No school, no snow and no real responsibilities beyond mowing the lawn every couple of weeks. Here in Houston, summer is a little more intense. Triple-digit temperatures, hurricane warnings and Astros baseball present an annual threat to our city' ... More >>

Remembering Bill Wood: The Astros' Best-Ever General Manager

There have been a lot of nice things written about new Astros GM Jeff Luhnow. And with good reason. He's restored a sense of sanity to the front office. There's a feeling that an adult's now running things, and with the work he's done so far this season, i.e. the Jed Lowrie trade and what is lookin ... More >>

Suggested Baseball Fan Behavior: An Ode to Detroit's Comerica Park

Last week, the Press' Margaret Downing, in Detroit for the Association of Alternative Newsmedia convention, took in a Tigers game at Comerica Park. She brought a souvenir back to the office: A full-color, 60-page "A-Z Guest Guide," which basically breaks down how to be a fan in verbose and silly l ... More >>

The Astros And The Brett Wallace Dilemma

Matt Downs started at first base for the Houston Astros yesterday. Brett Wallace is on the team, and he's healthy, yet Matt Downs started at first base for the Houston Astros yesterday. Maybe it's just me, but Matt Downs should never be starting over Brett Wallace. But in the end, it's probably no ... More >>

Free Lunch from Dos Equis Mobile

The Dead Rabbits

Five Ways the Rockets Season And The MLB Draft Are Alike

I'll be the first to admit that while I like the game of baseball and generally keep up with it and the Astros during the season, I'm not an avid fan. I'm certainly not enough of a fan or baseball nerd to understand what the 40-round major league draft means or who is being drafted or even where the ... More >>

Do The Right Thing, Astros. Retire J.R. Richard's Number

Let's stipulate that the Houston Astros have retired too many numbers, especially for a franchise that's been to just one World Series. Let's also stipulate that most of the retired numbers are for players who, while fan favorites, really didn't do anything to deserve having their numbers retired. L ... More >>

Celebrate Good Times, C'mon: Astros Breaking Out the Rainbow Jerseys Tomorrow

Tomorrow brings a rare chance to see awful-jersey awesomeness, as the Astros will be wearing their love-'em-or-hate-'em rainbow jerseys. Each month this season brings a different throwback jersey for Friday night home games, and it's the rainbow's turn. The first two months featured the smoking-gu ... More >>

Houston's Babies Play Vintage Baseball

There's no gloves or batting helmets when Larry Joe Miggins and the rest of the Houston Babies regularly travel back in time to play the game by its 1860 rules.

The Nine Dirtiest Baseball Terms

Face it, major league baseball isn't exactly lighting Houston on fire these days. Still, the weather's getting warmer, and that means it's baseball time whether you like it or not. So if the on-field action at Minute Maid doesn't keep your attention, keep yourself amused by considering the filthy ... More >>

Where to Party This Cinco de Mayo

Salt, tequila and lime

Astros Rebuilding: Going Back to the Future Can Be Fun

The 1991 Houston Astros finished the season with a record of 65-97. They were last in the old NL West, and they were one of the worst teams in the majors. But the fans who watched the team that season had reasons to be excited about the future. Jeff Bagwell had been converted from third to first ba ... More >>

Bartender Chat: John Ng of T.K. Bitterman's

Last weekend marked the official start of baseball season, and if you're trying to avoid the crowds, there's no better place to catch a game than the cozy Montrose sports dive T.K. Bitterman's. Completely lacking in pretension and douchebaggery, it's got that comfortable, old-school vibe. It's obvio ... More >>

Dear Fox Sports Houston: Your Astros Broadcast Suck

Dear Fox Sports Houston: I realize this is your last season with the cable rights to the Houston Astros. I realize that at this time next year you'll probably be losing cable systems while justifying that Little League game you're putting on in primetime. I also realize that you're tied into Fox S ... More >>

The Dome, Abandoned

Touring the old favorite

Health Department Roundup: Crawfish and Opposites

If you're looking for crawfish, a couple local places did well during inspections. LA Crawfish (1005 Blalock) earned just two violations during a recent re-inspection. One of those was hand-washing signs not posted as required, a pretty mild infraction that would not even be a requirement if Ron Pa ... More >>

25 Random Thoughts on This Upcoming Astros Season

The Astros season starts today, and since I'm always in search of a cheap and easy post, I thought I would throw out some random thoughts about the Astros heading into the season. 25. The first Astros pitcher to collect a loss will be Brett Myers when he blows a save -- that save will probably be ... More >>

Digging Around The All-But-Abandoned Astrodome

The Reliant Astrodome was -- is -- the Eighth Wonder of the World. Generations of Houston-area kids spent their days dreaming of playing on the field under that massive domed ceiling. It's one of our city's last non-NASA ties to the space program, this UFO-like structure in the middle of a modern co ... More >>

In Which John Royal Predicts the Winner of the 2012 World Series

The major league baseball season officially started last week when the Oakland A's and Seattle Mariners played two games in Tokyo. Most of the other teams open on Thursday, and the Astros get started on Friday when they host the Colorado Rockies. Thus, here are my predictions for this season. NATI ... More >>

The All-Time Ultimate Astros Roster

The Astros are celebrating their 50th season in major league baseball this year. The team's going to be rolling out the throwback uniforms on Friday nights, and they'll probably find other ways to celebrate their history before making a new start of it in the American League next season. I thought ... More >>

The Perfect Soundtrack To Your Next Crawfish Boil

Crawfish boils have become a springtime ritual in Houston. At least once a season, it's an accepted necessity that we waste an entire day pinching tails, sucking heads and covering ourselves in spicy, stinky seafood slime. Finding the bugs typically isn't a problem -- you can hit up any number of r ... More >>

This Week in Deliciousness

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where springtime is here again, which can only mean one thing: any day now we're going to start seeing the annual news reports coming in from the Valley of yokels who claim to have shot a "chupacabra." SPOILER ALERT: They're always coyotes ... More >>

A Fan's Opinion on What the New Dynamo Stadium Should Offer

BBVA Compass Stadium, the new Dynamo stomping grounds, is set to open in 51 days. According to the website, it "will be a state-of-the-art, open-air stadium designed to host Dynamo matches as well as additional sporting and concert events. When it opens in 2012, the 22,000-seat stadium will be the ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Do What For The Astros, Mate?

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>