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Speaking English and Mother Love

5 Reasons You Should Be Watching Bob's Burgers

Bob's Burgers entered Fox's Sunday evening programming quietly last year, filling the void left by the cancellation of King of the Hill. It looked as bad as Fox's other non-Simpsons/Family Guy animation (see: The PJs and Sit Down, Shut Up). And pun-filled reviews like this one from Entertainment Wee ... More >>

Friday Night: Childish Gambino At House Of Blues

Childish Gambino House of Blues April 6, 2012 "Real G's only; don't fuck up my alphabet." -- Childish Gambino, "It's On" Childish Gambino is Donald Glover and Donald Glover is Troy from a television show called Community and Troy from a television show called Community is funny as eff and that's g ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Why Was I Not Informed of Halle Berry's Straight-to-DVD Shark Attack Movie?

It isn't often (well, not often enough) that a movie comes along that combines two of my favorite things. In the case of Dark Tide -- debuting On Demand March 8 and on DVD March 30 -- those things would be great white sharks and Halle Berry in a bikini. Why yes, there is a synopsis: Kate (Halle Ber ... More >>

Chutzpah and Cat Cora on Top Chef: Texas

​I still don't have DVR, but I do now have a refurbed Roku box from Woot, which is nice. I mention this because any single episode of Battlestar Galactica that you can stream from Netflix is a million times better -- no hyperbole here, I really mean a million times better -- than any single episod ... More >>

Being Human: The Vampire Show You Should Be Watching

It's unclear whether humans were capable of sexual feelings before vampire myths came into being, but everyone is surely feeling very sexy these days thanks to all the sharp-toothed shadow dwellers taking over screens big and little in Twilight, the Vampire Diaries and True Blood. Not ones to leave ... More >>

Reality Bites: Hoarding: Buried Alive

​​There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We're going to watch all of them, one at a time. Are you not entertained? The overwhelming majority of reality shows -- like, for example, Ghost Adventures -- positively beg for ridicule. The participants usually run the gamut from a ... More >>

The Film Issue: People of the Year

​​There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We're going to watch all of them, one at a time. Are you not entertained? The overwhelming majority of reality shows -- like, for example, Ghost Adventures -- positively beg for ridicule. The participants usually run the gamut from a ... More >>

The 10 Best Food-Centric TV Episodes on Netflix, For Your Post-Thanksgiving Food Coma

Before I had cable, I invested in Netflix's streaming video service. It continues to be the best $7 I spend each month, despite the service's recent, public misadventures. And anyway, Netflix is where the new episodes of Arrested Development will eventually air, and that news more or less made up fo ... More >>

Facebook Complaints: A Crisis For Our Time

They dare to change this free service???​The universe has been rent to shreds, life as we know it has ended, and doom and despair ride the land. Or something like that. Facebook did some stuff today, and if there's one thing about social media, it's that nothing can be changed without a ton o ... More >>

Invasion of Piracy

Illegal downloading costs the film industry billions of dollars per year. But does the legal strategy designed to recoup this lost bounty amount to extortion?

Straight-To-DVD Music Sequels Soon To Come

​If you're a struggling writer, musician or filmmaker trying to work up the nerve to kill yourself, have we ever got good news for you! Your morale may have been damaged or even crippled by seeing bad music, bad movies and bad stories dominating the upper echelons of their respective fields, b ... More >>

App of the Week: Six Awesome, Free Apps for Movie Buffs

These six apps will help you with any movie, except Human Centipede. For that, you're on your own.​It's awards season. From People's Choice to the Screen Actors Guild to the Academy Awards and the other hundred worthless statues given out this time of year, people are talking about movies, and ... More >>

Five 80's Movie Scenes That Spurred Our Sexual Awakenings

We're not ready for Boba Fett porn, but we are on board with slave girl Leia​Many of us at Hair Balls grew up in the 1980's. It was a formative time for us when we learned about love and life and how to drink from a funnel while standing on our heads, an innocent time. Several of us were havin ... More >>

What Is The Best TV Show Of All Time? Martin? Really?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday (that isn't a national holiday) Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Bun B, Fat Tony, Montana, Kyle Hubbard, Thurogoo ... More >>

Remembering Our Friends, The Mujahideen

​Obama's Wars, Bob Woodward's new book about the President's management of the Afghanistan War, exposes some pretty significant divisions between Obama's civilian advisers and the U.S. military on strategy concerning what is now America's longest war: Book excerpts published yesterday sugges ... More >>

This Week in TV: Football Season is Over

Friday Night Lights: Go Lions​One football season ended, another warmed up, and I am this close to canceling cable and just using the Internet. This was the week in TV Land: • I have never wanted a team to win a game as badly as I wanted the Lions to beat the Panthers in Friday's season fi ... More >>

The Week in TV: Ellen Degeneres Realizes American Idol Sucks

Rob Lowe will soon join the cast of Parks and Recreation.​The dog days are upon us, the networks are planning for fall, and there's always money in the banana stand. This was the week in TV Land: • The Television Critics Association summer press tour has been going on for the past few days ... More >>

The Week In TV: Emmy Nominations, Good and Bad

​The Cup is over, the king has moved, and I replaced the C in "circle" with the Z from "zucchini." This was the week in TV Land: • Nominations for the 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards were announced last week, and befitting an industry built on low standards and an organization dedicated to filli ... More >>

5 New Pop-Star Sitcoms We'd Like To See

Today marks the 43rd anniversary of <>The Monkees winning an Emmy for Best Comedy Series, making them the first musical act ever to win that award. 1967 also marked a transitional period for the band, which was moving toward creative freedom on the television show in which they started out as ... More >>

Mail Carrier Stole Netflix DVDs, Leaving Spring Without A Chance To Appreciate Paul Blart, Mall Cop

The entertainment this man deprived Spring of, it boggles the mind​If you live in Spring and are wondering whatever happened to your promised Netflix delivery of Jennifer Aniston's The Bounty Hunter, there may be an answer. (And you're probably just as well off not seeing the thing anyway.)Rudolph ... More >>

Hollywood Ain't No Sunshine in Bill Withers Documentary

Still Bill, the documentary about soul legend Bill Withers (not the Tarantino movie), was released on DVD this week. The filmmakers spent eight years documenting the life of the Thoreau-quoting, piano-playing, philosophizing bluesman, who had immense success with a string of R&B and pop hits bu ... More >>

The Week In TV: The Walking Dead (The New Series, Not Charlie Sheen)

​I'm slightly sunburned, spoiled by three-day weekends, and trying to figure out whether I want an iPad. This was the week in TV Land: • So, the iPad came out, as you have heard about from every news outlet imaginable, and several TV apps have already been announced. Yahoo's entertainment ... More >>

Nightfly: Hard to Kill

Is Nouveau Antique Art Bar leading a Midtown renaissance?

Year in Film: Rent a Wreck

For a former video store giant, not such a blockbuster decade.

He Said She Said: Our Christmas Musical Wishlists

​She Said's music listening habits have become so lazy thanks to the Internet. She can barely bring herself to pay for a full CD any more when there's so much awesome music for free online. She can't even remember the last time she bought a full CD in the concrete, plastic wrap and all. That said, ... More >>

He Said She Said: Our Favorite Fictional Performers, Part 2

​Why is that sometimes the fictional bands in movie and television are cooler than real bands? Sadly, some of He Said's favorite bands don't even have albums or videos to speak of, because they don't even exist. The fun part is imagining how awesome their full-length records and tours would be. Th ... More >>

Tonight: Houston Filmmaker Raymond Gale's Electric Purgatory at Domy Books

Electric Purgatory screened almost two years ago at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, but Rocks Off still hasn't seen Houston director Raymond Gayle's film about the plight of the black rocker. We're gonna miss the next screening too - tonight at Domy Books - due to Thanksgiving travel, but we are ... More >>

R.I.P., Hollywood Video In Montrose: What's Next For The Old Tower Theater?

Photo by joe_stephens_3​Swamplot confirms what we've been thinking for a while: The Hollywood Video store, in that nice old theater near Westheimer & Montrose, is not long for this world. Employees are telling customers the place is closing, and the marquee out front is being dismantled.Video ... More >>

Coolest Movie Store In Town Needs Your Help

Arcos, the owner​It's hard out there for a video-store pimp.Rob Arcos, owner of MOVIES! The Store, hasn't had a stellar summer, sales-wise. He based his 2009 forecast on the previous two summers, but this year has failed to live up to his predictions, leaving one of Houston's coolest indepen ... More >>

4th Annual Italian Retrospective

Holly Golightly didn't have an Italian accent, did she?

Getting Trapped In The Magic Of Grey Gardens

Photo courtesy Stages If you're a woman or a theater fan or introspective or a history buff or gay or a Kennedy buff or have a pulse -- not to mention, all of the above -- get yourself to Stages Repertory Theatre to see Grey Gardens!!   I'm pretty out of touch with everything except work t ... More >>

Screen Plays

Photo courtesy Stages If you're a woman or a theater fan or introspective or a history buff or gay or a Kennedy buff or have a pulse -- not to mention, all of the above -- get yourself to Stages Repertory Theatre to see Grey Gardens!!   I'm pretty out of touch with everything except work t ... More >>

What About Lazy Mexicans?

Photo courtesy Stages If you're a woman or a theater fan or introspective or a history buff or gay or a Kennedy buff or have a pulse -- not to mention, all of the above -- get yourself to Stages Repertory Theatre to see Grey Gardens!!   I'm pretty out of touch with everything except work t ... More >>

For Valentine's Day: The Five Worst Romantic Comedies

With Valentine's Day approaching, tbe best most of you poor single bastards can hope for is to get through the night with your bank account relatively intact. Married folks are better off, as all they're really expected to come up with is a perfunctory gift and maybe an evening spent watching a drea ... More >>

The Comcast Cops Are Coming For Your Bandwidth

With Valentine's Day approaching, tbe best most of you poor single bastards can hope for is to get through the night with your bank account relatively intact. Married folks are better off, as all they're really expected to come up with is a perfunctory gift and maybe an evening spent watching a drea ... More >>

Mad Over Mad Men

With Valentine's Day approaching, tbe best most of you poor single bastards can hope for is to get through the night with your bank account relatively intact. Married folks are better off, as all they're really expected to come up with is a perfunctory gift and maybe an evening spent watching a drea ... More >>

Diminished Expo-tations at E3

E3 revelations are hit and miss — unless you really dig chopping wood

Kickin’ Video Games Old School Style

E3 revelations are hit and miss — unless you really dig chopping wood

I Love "Road House," Damn It

E3 revelations are hit and miss — unless you really dig chopping wood

Movie Pirates

Scene Stealers

Houston Texans Open Practice

Watch the 2007 team learn their plays

DVDs

Tomorrow's Misery Today

Houston Astros, Netflix, Congressman Ron Paul

It could be a year of despair for Astros fans

Top DVDs

It could be a year of despair for Astros fans

Cred Sheet

What you need to know to avoid musical ostracism

A Crying Shame

RIP, Cactus Music and Video

Letters

RIP, Cactus Music and Video

Humor Can Be Funny

Or so believe the Comedians of Comedy