Subject: New York

• Gift Giving at Soon-To-Be-Closed J. Will Jones Elementary

  Thanks to some generous people in Houston and from as far away as New York State, J. Will Jones Elementary will celebrate its annual "Gift of Giving" celebration this Thursday, distributing "donated presents and hurricane relief supplies to students and their families," HISD announced today. St. Nicholas will show up and everyone gets a gift.  "This year is especially important since so many families have faced hardships in our community," says Principal Brian Flores.  "Hurricane Ike,

  December 15, 2008

• Nut Case

  May 12, 1994

• Mr. S.O.B.

  October 24, 1996

• Do You Believe in Magic?

  September 4, 1997

• Building Interest

  May 7, 1998

• Class Action

  January 7, 1999

• Buyer Beware of Confessions of a Shopaholic

  February 12, 2009

• Texas Wants Beer!

  October 16, 2008

• Houston Has a Bad Reputation with Touring Indie Bands

  July 10, 2008

• Oh, Baby Baby

  June 7, 2007

• Karachi Rock

  Haven't heard of Junoon? They've sold 20 million albums, and they're at the Meridian this week.

  April 14, 2005

• Wretched Excess

  Sludge, spread across the land, makes some people vomit and others very rich

  March 31, 2005

• Over the Limit?

  PCBs may prompt a first-ever warning against bay speckled trout fishing

  January 27, 2005

• Banana Republicans

  A Hispanic GOP confab leaves delegates yelling foul

  March 20, 2003

• Definitive Jux Tour

  Saturday, October 12

  October 10, 2002

• Young Lion

  Though only 17, Brandon Lee blows a mighty horn

  April 27, 2000

• $tocks and Bonding

  Boiler Room steams with the stark greed of go-for-brokers

  February 17, 2000

• No Local Server?

  Zagat.com (temporarily) neglects Houston

  June 10, 1999

• Magical Mesoamerican Chocolates

  Photo by Robb Walsh​Sagahún Chocolates in Portland, Oregon makes some of the most interesting chocolate confections in the nation. The chocolate barks get their crunch from nuts, pumpkin seeds and crushed, salted corn nuts. They take their scents from edible flowers and lavender. And they contain potent doses of jalapeño, ancho and other chiles. I am not talking about a dainty little dusting of pepper -- I am talking about enough chile to make your mouth burn. I have often wondered if

  September 3, 2009

• Four Possible Reasons Jay-Z Is Skipping Houston on His Blueprint 3 Tour

  ​Self-proclaimed king-of-rap Jay-Z unveiled his autumn tour schedule last week. The 26-date jaunt - which began Monday night in Chi-town and winds down just in time for Thanksgiving - will take Hovito all around the world, from New York to London to Kentucky to noise-rock haven Providence, R.I., to Ontario to Mexico. He will rock El Paso; he'll thrill Austin. But the absence of a date for Houston - the hometown of wifey Beyonce - is perplexing, not to mention a bit insulting. Dude's gonna trea

  September 9, 2009

• Seeking The Possibly Inaudible: Is There a Houston Accent?

  The rain in Spain falls mainly on South Main.....​The question of whether there exists a definable, distinct Houston accent has come up in the blogosphere, inspired from beyond the grave by Marvin Zindler. Sixty-year-old tapes of the white-suited wonder's radio broadcasts, posted on J.R. Gonzales's Bayou City History blog , reveal that the vast majority of interviewees and old Marvin himself sounded a lot more Southern than people around here do now.A commenter named "Don" on the Bayou City bl

  September 15, 2009

• Inprint Margarett Root Brown Reading Series: Joseph O'Neill and Marilynne Robinson

  September 17, 2009

• Spy Story

  September 17, 2009

• Almeda's New Playhouse

  September 17, 2009

• Pay No Attention To Those Military Jets Screeching Overhead Tomorrow

  ​If you happen to look up the skies tomorrow and see high-powered military jets wildly maneuvering to intercept and possibly shoot down a potential terror threat, don't panic.We're not saying you would panic -- you're probably a level-headed person who would assume it was some type of exercise. Then again, a whole lot of people freaked out when the Coast Guard ran such an exercise on 9/11 this year, or when Air Force One started flying around New York landmarks for a photo op in April.In this

  October 5, 2009

• Aftermath: Common and The Roots Crew's Private Engagment at the Corinthian, With Special Guests (Cough, "Nite and Day")

  Photos by Larami Culbertson​ 9:10 p.m.: We pull up to the front of The Corinthian and hand the car off to the valet. He says, "It's $20 plus tip." Oh, so it's $20, then? Got it. Thanks. 9:20 p.m.: Common just walked in. He's way more stout than we imagined him to be. His skin is also less clear than we were anticipating. Not sure which one is more surprising, or even why we feel the need to write this down. Is this what our life has become? Taking notes about the girth of someone's chest and t

  October 6, 2009

• Rent Me

  October 8, 2009

• In Case You Missed It: A Little Bit Of The Public News Returns

  ​Our thread on all the favorite things gone from (The) Montrose garnered a lot of great replies, as people remembered a mystical time 10 or 15 years ago when townhomes were not on every block.One caught our eye, not only for its snappy prose style but for its byline: one Mel Sharkskin.It may not ring any bells with you whippersnappers on the nets, but oldtimers will instantly remember the Public News, the alt-weekly that ruled Houston before we got to town.PN offered Sharkskin's taut takes on

  October 9, 2009

• "Imagine" This: What If John Lennon Were Still With Us?

  Today marks what would have been John Lennon's 69th birthday. Just let that sink in for a moment. He was only 40 when he passed away, but in those four decades he did enough to change the world and its inhabitants for pretty much the rest of natural human history - not just in music but also in forward progressive thinking. Rocks Off mourns Lennon anytime he hears a Beatles song on the radio or whenever he throws John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band on his turntable. There's really no way to adequately

  October 9, 2009

• They Live

  October 15, 2009

• E. L. Doctorow

  October 15, 2009

• Twice-Told Tales

  October 15, 2009

• Frank Rich And Stephen Sondheim, Coming To Houston

  Photo by Jerry Jackson​When he's not busy being one of the most astute critics of today's political culture for The New York Times, Frank Rich is part of an occasional Q&A road show where he interviews Stephen Sondheim for appreciative audiences.The two are coming to Houston October 25 for An Evening With Stephen Sondheim (Note to Rich: You need a better agent for your billing).Rich, the former theater critic of the Times, leads Sondheim -- with the help of audience questions -- through a

  October 14, 2009

• Branch Water Tavern: The Best New Restaurant Not Open Yet?

  ​Branch Water Tavern at 510 Shepherd will be a new American tavern with outstanding whiskeys, microbrewery beers and one of the hottest chefs in the city behind the stove. CIA grad David Grossman used to cook at Gravitas and Reef. Before that, he worked with the legendary Alfred Portale at Gotham Bar & Grill in New York. Gotham Bar & Grill pioneered the casual, cocktail-centric tavern style of fine dining 25 years ago in New York. According to a press release I received, Branch Water Tav

  October 14, 2009

• Crypticon Countdown: Troma's Lloyd Kaufman On The Toxic Avenger And His Yale Classmate George W. Bush

  ​The legendary Lloyd Kaufman is the co-founder of Troma Studios, and directed classics such as The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke 'Em High, and Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, which will be screening this weekend at Crypticon Houston. Hair Balls asked the legendary actor, author and Yale graduate about Troma's past, future, and George W. Bush.Hair Balls: First is the question I have to ask everyone: have you ever spent any time in Houston?Lloyd Kaufman: Yes, I have been to Houston many

  October 16, 2009

• Friday Night Noise: The Homopolice You've Heard Of, How About Oneohtrix Point Never?

  ​ The Homopolice "Sex Drugs Death" Picture it, if you dare: abject anarchy on H-Town's streets, sexual insanity run amuck, fresh blood pooling in drains, some escaped, foaming-at-the-mouth mental patient narrating with a busted megaphone. That's more or less what "Sex Drugs Death" sounds like in a nutshell, its ten punked-out psych-noise minutes barging by in a effects-pedal abusing, snarling hissy fit. Cymbals shattering. Larynxes lacerating. Ax stings flogged relentlessly. Halfway though, Ho

  October 16, 2009

• Bernardo Cubría Is Counting The Minutes Until Tonight's Premiere Of Down, Boy

  ​New York actor and former Houstonian Bernardo Cubría is starting to get a little nervous right about now -- he's just hours away from the staged reading of his play Down, Boy by Wordsmyth Theater Company. At the first reading, earlier this year, he was, ah, anxious. "It's like watching your baby bungee jump," he tells Hair Balls."This is the first full-length play I've ever written," he says, adding, "though I did, in the seventh grade, write an amusing play about the O.J. Simpson trial.

  October 19, 2009

• Stirred and Shaken: Catbird's Truck Stop Cappuccino

  Photo by Troy Fields​Bartender Matt Trimble of Catbird's (1336 West­heimer, 713-523-8000) is an impressive man. Before taking his current job, he undertook a weeks-long bicycle odyssey from Houston to New York, sleeping on the side of the road and surviving on his ability to charm strangers. He dates an exotic journalist who makes a young Christiane Amanpour look like a present-day Helen Thomas. And, most importantly, he made me an outstanding Sunday hangover cure, despite sufferi

  October 21, 2009

• Burgers and Hash

  October 22, 2009

• CATBIRD'S TRUCK STOP CAPPUCCINO

  October 22, 2009

• Sampler Plate: This Week In Food Blogs

  Each week, we put together a sampler plate of the most interesting links from both local and national food blogs. Know a blog we should be paying particular attention to? Leave the address in the comments section below. Guns and Tacos: Hilarious and topical (with pictures and captions that always crack us up), this is one of our favorite food blogs in town. Check out Jay's handy "Taco Stand Translation Guide" from last week. Feed the Heights: One of several excellent Heights-specific blogs

  October 21, 2009

• Take This Tie and Shove It Part II: Houston As Fashion Capital For The Hot World

  ​Yesterday, we shared the vision of urbanist and blogger Andrew Burleson, who dreams of a Houston in which we dress for the weather at all times, even at work. It's his view that this would lower energy costs and immensely improve civic life overall.He thinks we could begin with a Dress For The Weather Week, and after ten years or so of these weeks, Houston could become a city that always, in his words, "lived like it's hot 'cause it is" and "lived in the place that we're at and learned to em

  October 21, 2009

• Lonesome Onry and Mean: The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York" and the Tragic Ballad of Kirsty MacColl

  Lonesome, Onry and Mean has never hidden our distaste for Christmas music. So if we were ever called on to choose our favorite Christmas song, the Pogues' "Fairytale of New York" would win hands down. We can still remember the day - we were still Pogues virgins - when the lyrics, waffling between an aching level of poetic sentimentality and the utter down-and-out drunken surly hilarity of a marital spat ("It was Christmas eve, babe, in the drunk tank") finally penetrated the cranial area and we

  October 28, 2009

• A Typical Venezuelan Dance Band

  October 29, 2009

• The Pogues

  October 29, 2009

• Twelve Musical Fuck Yous Better Than Gov. Ah-nuld's Coded Message

  ​Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​We admit, we never thought he had it in him, but apparently the Governator is capable of human cleverness - just like all non-cybernetic organisms. That is, if we accept that the acrostic in this veto message here isn't just a coincidence (read the first letter of each line in the second and third paragraphs). That's a good one, but this being Rocks Off, we would've preferred Schwarzenegger put his F-U into song form, like these folks.

  October 29, 2009

• Looking for a Bull Market

  November 5, 2009

• Vision Quest

  November 5, 2009

• This Is Why You're Fat: Now In Convenient Book Form!

  Back in February, we lauded one of our favorite food websites -- This Is Why You're Fat -- for bringing such monstrosities like the Corn Dog Pizza to our attention and for bringing the Deep Fried Mars Bar into the collective consciousness (we couldn't bear to be the only ones familiar with that abomination). And now, like so many other popular single-topic websites -- Stuff White People Like and Fuck You, Penguin are just two examples -- it's been turned into a book. This Is Why You're Fat: Wher

  November 5, 2009

• The Office: We're Officially Afraid of Ryan

  The Office has always been at its best when it mixes the eccentricities and occasional cruelties of its characters with a kind of sad humanity; basically, every character is constantly rediscovering just how much life can suck, then acting out about it, then dealing with it, then repeating the whole process. "Double Date" was a great example of that, and it combined the show's nimble humor and one-liners with an uncomfortably blunt end to the story of Michael dating Pam's mom, Helene (Linda Pu

  November 6, 2009