Obi-Wan Kenobi

Duane Brown Fined $7,500 For Not Punching Clint Session

Duane Brown has been defamed​"It's outrageous man. Like I said, I was trying to help on the tackle when he got the fumble recovery...I was getting up, pushing off my own leg to get up and one of his teammates came and gave me a little shove, and to catch my balance from falling back on him I p ... More >>

For Anthony Weiner, Eight Awkward Dongs From The Movies (NSFW)

Did not make the cut.​In my review of The Hangover Part II, I made a comment about the seeming preponderance of male genitalia on the big screen lately. The phenomenon has been limited primarily to comedies because, let's face it, penises are pretty damn funny looking. Judging by that screeni ... More >>

Our Year

Will Texans make it to playoffs?

Game Time: LeBron-athon -- Five Backstabbings That Will Get You Ready For Tonight

Anakin Skywalker: Thanks for nothing, kid​In anticipation of LeBron James' decision as to where he will ply his trade for the next few years, shares of MSG stock rose 6 percent yesterday for a period of time before settling back to where they were earlier in the day. The reason for the brief bump ... More >>

Galveston Woman Loses Lower Lip In Drunken Seawall Donnybrook; Claims Clubgoers Ignored Her Distress

Courtesy Galveston County SOcutline​Loretta Pearl Ramos, 32, and her beau Carlos Alberto Hernandez-Munoz, 27, were tearing it up yesterday on the Seawall in Galveston when Hernandez-Munoz decided he wanted to kick things up a notch or two.Ramos later told police that Hernandez-Munoz was "extremely ... More >>

Game Time: Jedi Master Obi Wan Morey Strikes Again

At some point, other NBA general managers are going to just stop taking Daryl Morey's calls. Nobody enjoys being made a fool of, no one aspires to be the target of an atomic wedgie on the playground, and no one wants to be the Imperial Stormtrooper that gets snowed by Obi-Wan Kenobi on the way into ... More >>

He Said She Said: Our Favorite Fictional Performers, Part 2

​Why is that sometimes the fictional bands in movie and television are cooler than real bands? Sadly, some of He Said's favorite bands don't even have albums or videos to speak of, because they don't even exist. The fun part is imagining how awesome their full-length records and tours would be. Th ... More >>

Game Time: Larusso Vs. Skywalker, The Death Match

​I'm not afraid to admit it, I'm a huge fan of The Karate Kid. And I'm not just talking "guilty pleasure" fan.No sir, not only do I actually own all three DVD's in the Karate Kid trilogy, but my Karate Kid III DVD actually has some scenes that skip because of wear and tear. Yeah, you heard me, t ... More >>

Modern-Day Jedis - or Wannabe Jedis - In Pop Music

​"For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times... before the Empire." - Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Sounds pretty impressive, doesn't it? Almost like there somebody had put together a detailed, well thought-out s ... More >>

No More Family Guy For Star Furniture

On the Dark Side

Why Episode III isn't the movie it should have been

Sith Is It

George Lucas at last delivers the Star Wars prequel we've been waiting for

Shadows of the Empire

George Lucas tries to reclaim his lost glory with Episode II

No Cash Back

Some Tasca investors are nervous about the money. So was the state of Texas.

Force of One

The late Sir Alec Guinness was a powerhouse long before Obi-Wan Kenobi

The Final Frontier

Sci-fi conventions are where movie stars go to burn brightly one more time

Burn The Messenger

A little Conscience converts Joan of Arc to near comedy

Letters

Episode I: What Did You Expect?

It's Star Wars, all right

Cliche-spotting

Batman on Ice

Director Joel Schumacher, not Mr. Freeze, kills the Dark Knight

Star Lard

With The Fifth Element, Luc Besson swipes from science fiction past to create a slick, vacuous future

Life and Darth