Paris Hilton

Cannes: Not Even the Gifted Emma Watson Can Raise The Bling Ring

But I haven’t given up on Sofia Coppola.

Mugshot Etiquette 101: Don't Smile Unless You Did Something Cool

Every day here at Hair Balls we get to see great, sad, and dumbfounding mugshots from around the state of Texas. We sure do have a lot of criminals in the Lone Star State. Makes me fearful of seceding in 2025. REWIND: Sean Payne: Humble Man Too Drunk To Pose for His Mugshot REWIND: Michael Jordan ... More >>

This Week in Deliciousness: Eatin' With Sticks and Other Bad Ideas

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where thanks to this week's plentiful rains, our blood oranges are now constantly being carried off by vulture-sized mosquitoes who don't understand the hyperbolic nature of fruit-naming. IT REFERS TO THE COLOR, YOU BUZZING BASTARDS. We s ... More >>

Bumbaklat Hits: Pop's 10 Most Unforgivable Reggae Misappropriations

Can you feel it yet? Don't let all this rain fool you -- Summer is on its way. Sure, that means triple-digit temperatures, mutant mosquitos and Astros-fan apathy, but it also means live music outdoors. And where there's live music outdoors, there is always reggae. It's some kind of rule. Persona ... More >>

Christina Hendricks, Olivia Munn, Scarlett Johansson: 22 Famous Leaked Cell Phone Pics That Stopped All Office Productivity

This past Sunday, naughty cell phone pictures of both Mad Men's redheaded bombshell Christina Hendricks and television personality Olivia Munn leaked onto the Internet. No, they weren't together in the photos -- Dear God -- these were separate leaks. Two of the most lusted after female celebs, Hend ... More >>

Top 9 Comments On Summer Fest 2012: Where's The Women?

As most of Houston and the surrounding area knows by now, Free Press Summer Fest announced its 2012 lineup in the wee hours this morning. By now Rocks Off has had a few more hours to reflect on the festival, entering its fourth year at Eleanor Tinsley Park June 2 and 3, and also to take a shower. O ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Hey, Plenty Of Things Didn't Last 73 Days, Kim Kardashian Haters

I'm shocked, shocked to hear Kim and Kris are getting divorced.​If you had the 73-day "under" on the length of Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries (AKA The Most Blatant Gambit to Maintain Consecutive Gossip Mag Covers Since Paris Hilton Exited A Car Sans Panties), you just doubled your ... More >>

7 Musician Exes (Or Daughters) Who Should Write Tell-All Books

7. Dita Von Teese (Marilyn Manson): Famed burlesque performer Dita Von Teese (above) met Marilyn Manson in 2001. He proposed in 2004, and the couple wed a year later. Von Teese filed for divorce when she couldn't deal with Manson's alcohol abuse and his extramarital affair with actress Evan Rachel W ... More >>

Slamdance on the Road

Imran Mynuddin: He's Not Stalking His Former Psychiatrist, He's Just Trying to Help

Paris Hilton: Another overriding interest of this dude​It's only April, but thanks to KHOU, we became aware of a top contender for the Alleged Creep of the Year Award: Imran Mynuddin has been charged in Harris County on suspicion of stalking his former psychiatrist, who's now on the faculty of ... More >>

Top 10 Mentally Unstable Rap Songs

thesource.com​As you may have already heard, Gucci Mane was recently admitted into a mental-health facility on a "special plea of mental incompetency" in order to delay his probation revocation trial. He has since been released, and got an ice-cream-cone face tattoo in time for his trial this ... More >>

Internet Gives Thanks For "Based God" Lil B

​2010 was a big year for Berkeley, California's Lil B, aka "The Based God." He taught the world how to "Cook," supplied his disciples with new gospel almost daily, and graced the cover of The Fader. Now at 21 years old and only a month into the new year, he's released a digital album, been i ... More >>

Ten Movies You Won't Get Into at Sundance

​The Sundance Film Festival kicks off this week in Park City, Utah. The venerable fest enters its 33rd year with many once again questioning the organizers' commitment to independent film. Recent incarnations have debuted underground fare from art houses like Fox Searchlight and Sony Pictures ... More >>

Lost at the Chateau Marmont

From party girl to Oscar winner, Sofia Coppola's journey to Somewhere.

Musicians Who Will Fetch The Least In TwitChange Auction

​TwitChange, a charity organization dedicated to helping Haiti led by the only Desperate Housewife who doesn't look at least partially mummified, Eva Longoria, is having an auction that will change the very nature of self-obsession as we know it. Several celebrities have gotten together and ag ... More >>

Kanye West's New Toy: Twitter

​If there was any other pop-culture wonder in need of a worldwide soapbox to spout off from it was Kanye West. Yesterday sweet dreams became a beautiful nightmare when West got his own verified Twitter account, @kanyewest. Little wonder this comes right before the run-up of publicity for his n ... More >>

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

He's no Johnny Depp​Yesterday on the Rocks Off blog we unveiled the Lady Gaga sex doll, Lady Gag Gag. Comments were mixed on the doll, ranging from utter confusion and strange attraction from both sexes. One commenter claimed that the model on the box was even more attractive than the real G ... More >>

Take A Ride On Your Disco Stick: The Lady Gaga Sex Doll

Over the next year Houstonians will get three chances to see Lady Gaga in the flesh, with two shows next month at Toyota Center and another one in spring at the same venue. We are pretty sure all three have now sold out, so if any of you little monsters haven't got an in on some tickets you may ... More >>

Five Absolutely Cringeworthy Restaurant Commercials

By now, we've all seen the commercial for Jones' Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage. Sadly, the video with the dancing chickens, catchy jingle and promise of a pedicure with the finest honey barbecue sauce in Illinois was too terrible to be true. Fortunately, there are plenty of actual commercials for r ... More >>

Houston Gets Three Spots In The Decade's Pantheon Of Great New York Post Headlines

​Even if you have no idea what Phil Mushnick and Andrea Peyser have in common (answer: they're both New York Post columnists), you're probably aware of the great and noble tradition of tasteless, eye-grabbing headlines written by the New York tabloid. "Headless Body in Topless Bar" and all that. ... More >>

Our WTF Crime Story Of The Day: Paris Hilton & Child Porn

Photo courtesy MTV​Anyone who likes child porn has obviously got mental problems, but usually they're not completely idiotic -- after all, they have to find a way to indulge their sickness without being caught by the feds.And then there's 22-year-old Josiah Samuel Stevens on Conroe.He just got fiv ... More >>

Hotel ZaZa Unleashed Poolside Pet Soiree

It's canines and canapés for the see-and-be-seen crowd

Embarassing Moments In TV Cooking History: Welcome to the List, Padma

Padma Lakshmi isn't technically a celebrity chef. Yes, she's published two cookbooks and hosted/starred in an array of food-related programming. But she's also known for plenty of other endeavors, chief among them being married to Salman Rushdie and her career as a highly successful Indian model/act ... More >>

Carl's Jr. Coming to a Corner (and TV Screen) Near You

From the Houston Business Journal comes news that burger franchise Carl's Jr. will be opening over 100 stores in Texas, with several planned for the Houston area.  Although it's not yet known how many Carl's Jr.'s will be opened or where they'll be located, hamburger enthusiasts are already st ... More >>

Lonesome Onry and Mean: Envy, You're Up

Best In Texas music magazine can breathe a sigh of relief this month. We've found a new publication of supreme arrogance and ineptitude to ponder and dissect. Other than pedophiles, no group of people pisses Lonesome Onry & Mean off more than Elitist Pricks. Dallas is full of them -- not that Hous ... More >>

Five Other Rock-Star Presidents

Whitney Casey's Glamour Collection

Seven Deadly Sins: Celebrity Edition

Paris Hilton Does Her Best Angelina Jolie Impression

Ask a Mexican

What's the Deal with Bikini Babes in Car Commercials?

Jan Baldee and Jan Brady. Both Enigmas.

Miss Pop Rocks: Things That Will Last Longer Than Pam Anderson’s Marriage to Rick Salomon

From Britney to U2: The 2007 NFL Preview

Miss Pop Rocks: My Day with Britney

The Popcorn King

Rush Hour 3 director Brett Ratner has been called a fauxteur, a womanizer and, worse, over budget. Why you should take him seriously anyway.

Keeping Dry Down Below with the Tunnel Mole

Gonna Be an Earthquake

Space Case

Making Scents of the Stars

A buyer's guide to celebrity fragrances

Pop Quiz

A quick check of your pop-princess savvy

GWAR Heroes Electro Grrl

Flying filth will never go out of style with these guys around

Killer Ratings

Number of the Beeyotch

The Iron Maidens encourage you to bring your daughter to the slaughter

Mötley Crüe

Friday, March 24, Toyota Center, 1510 Polk, 713-758-7200

Bling It On

Neil Hamburger, with Tennessee

Thursday, March 31, at Mary Jane's Fat Cat, 4216 Washington Avenue, 713-869-5263.

Radio Daze

One man, one jambox and four walls. For 24 hours.

A Glimpse of Stocking

Old-fashioned shocks abound in Fallen Angels

A Fan's Notes

Ideas that were forgotten but not gone in 2003