Paris Hilton

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2014

    Music's Got 99 Problems, and Jay Z Ain't One

    According to a recent report, Justin Bieber's mom -- who we'll just call Mama Bieber -- is planning to launch her music career. Yes, that means exactly what you think it does. Two Biebers will be working the fame-whore stroll -- probably together, since rumor has it that they're recording a duet. W ... More >>

  • Film

    May 30, 2013

    It's Blockbuster Time: Your Guide to the Summer Movie Season

    Movie by movie, here's how to get the most out of this summer without having to cake on sunscreen.

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2013

    How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Music Festival: Actors

    So Ashton Kutcher allegedly got in a fight at the Stagecoach Music Festival. I know, it's a little mind-boggling, that whole idea. Ashton Kutcher was not only at a country-music festival, but reports say he somehow managed to stay true to his douche-roots and get into a fistfight with a security gua ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 22, 2013

    Top 10 Soul-Destroying No. 1 Hits

    I don't like these songs. I feel it's ridiculous that hundreds of thousands of people actually paid out money and drove them to the top of the Billboard charts. While they might not necessarily be the absolute worst examples of the lowest common denominator's purchasing power, they quickly came to m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 5, 2012

    Set It To Blow: 5 Musical Bombs to Promote Internet-Jukebox Anarchy

    Recently my Twitter buddy John Seaborn Gray wrote a blog for Rocks Off in which he gave the world five simple suggestions for how to use Internet jukeboxes more effectively. He makes a lot of good points and if you're good people you'll read it, digest it and put his rules in to practice. I am not ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 11, 2012

    30 Seconds With In This Moment's Maria Brink

    Maria Brink what would happen if you forced Paris Hilton to consume the entire cast of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. When fronting In This Moment, she's an unstoppable hellvixen who takes her metal very seriously. Here's what she screamed at us for 30 seconds. Rocks Off: What is worst song in the ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 12, 2012
  • Blogs

    March 9, 2012

    In Honor of Hulk Hogan, 5 WWE-Storyline Sex Tapes (w/ VIDEO)

    I'm sure many of you have heard of (and some of you, admit it, have probably participated in) a death pool, where you and, say, four of your friends each get to pick ten people and you accumulate points depending on how many of those people die that year. (For the record, the formula for points scor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2011

    Lil B's I'm Gay: Marketing Genius Or Just Offensive?

    Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday (that isn't a national holiday) Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Bun B, A.D.D., Kiotti, Fat Tony, Delo, Brad Gilm ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2011

    Top 10 Mentally Unstable Rap Songs​As you may have already heard, Gucci Mane was recently admitted into a mental-health facility on a "special plea of mental incompetency" in order to delay his probation revocation trial. He has since been released, and got an ice-cream-cone face tattoo in time for his trial this ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 29, 2010

    Kanye West's New Toy: Twitter

    ​If there was any other pop-culture wonder in need of a worldwide soapbox to spout off from it was Kanye West. Yesterday sweet dreams became a beautiful nightmare when West got his own verified Twitter account, @kanyewest. Little wonder this comes right before the run-up of publicity for his n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 28, 2010

    Game Time: 2010 World Cup -- I Am Darth Soccer

    "Luke!! I am your bad-luck charm!!"​If ever there were a sporting event that was tailor-made for watching in a sports bar with a room full of diehard fans, it's World Cup soccer.It's the one sporting event that takes a pretty easily graspable concept for the casual fan (put ball in goal -- and in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2010

    Happy Father's Day! Loser Kids of Rock Star Dads

    We all aspire to honor our dads and hope that we've done right by them on Father's Day. Here's a list of offspring whose lives have served no useful purpose on earth other than churning out a never-ending source of disappointment for their rock star dads. ​Sean Lennon Yoko Ono is often credi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 26, 2010

    Pop Rocks: The Sublime Genius Of Heidi Montag

    "Are you being ironic, dude?""I don't even know anymore."​So I see Heidi Montag's album dropped a couple of weeks ago.There will be more than a few of you who feel compelled to ask "Who?" when they hear that name. In that case, the first thing I'd like to do is welcome my Chinese readers who ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2009

    Graveside Songs for Edgar Allan Poe's Long-Overdue Funeral

    ​Kicking the bucket at the age of 40 is bad enough, especially when, to this day, nobody's really sure how you died (everything from syphillis to rabies to political "cooping" has been thrown out there as a possible cause). But getting buried in an unmarked grave after a three minute "service" is ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2009

    Ten Cover Songs So Bad They'll Shrivel Your Soul

    Two nights ago, while carelessly patrolling the back alleys of the internet, Rocks Off stumbled across Hilary Duff's execrable cover of The Who's "My Generation". Well, what did you think, YouTube commenters? ​ You sure you're not being too harsh? ​ Yeah... ours too. Someday, when we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 28, 2009

    Allen Stanford Deserves A Better Jail Cell, Dammit

    ​Allen Stanford, the alleged Ponzi-schemer who led a billionaire's life allegedly on the alleged backs of allegedly bilked investors, doesn't like his jail cell.It's got no air-conditioning, it's dark, it's crowded. In other words, it's a lot like Houston in the weeks after Ike. But we're guessing ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 26, 2009

    The World of Flomax...It's About Getting on Boats and All Kinds of Manly Shit Like That

    (Editor's Note: No, the Miss Pop Rocks crown was not recently passed to our ex-web editor, Keith. It was an unfortunate byline error; Jennifer is still in charge.) Flomax. First of all, the name is ridiculous. I get that the ads are targeted at dudes with enlarged prostates who can't whiz, but yo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2008

    Turning the Screw: Sans Bayonet, ESG, Dustin Prestige, Diddy, Ghostface, 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Young Jeezy, Ike Turner and More

    Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to Thanks, homies. Single of the Week: Sans Bayonet feat. Rob Prophetik, "Evolution" Wire To Wire ESG is talking about his forth ... More >>

  • Music

    October 23, 2008
  • Blogs

    July 25, 2008

    Five Spot: How Much is 50 Cent Really Worth?

    Paris Hilton and 50 Cent: Insert "Lollipop" joke here. Welcome to Five Spot, another new Rocks Off recurrent. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to So in case you hadn't ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 4, 2008

    Happy Birthday, America!

    As the daughter of immigrants (I’ve got you already, don’t I?), I’d like to take a minute today, on America’s birthday, and reflect on what makes America so grand. And before any of you accuse me of being facetious, let me tell you…I may be a left-leaning, “Democracy Now”-listening ex ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2008

    What I’d Like To Do to Dina Lohan and Denise Richards

    Can you relate to this? Have you ever found yourself collapsed on the couch, reaching for your drool cup, unable…yes unable to move from your position even though what you are viewing on television absolutely horrifies and disgusts you? And you begin to question your value as a fit human being, ... More >>

  • Film

    January 31, 2008

    Lousy Movie: 'Meet the Spartans'

    Few laughs to be had in this lackluster parody

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2007

    Miss Pop Rocks: Rev. Run’s Clan v. The Kardashians: There is No Real Comparison

    I spent much of this weekend feeling a little under the weather (I think I caught something from a bottle of gin on Friday night). Regardless, the time Miss Pop Rocks spent sprawled on the couch allowed for much consumption of two reality television shows about families. And of course, I must shar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2007

    Miss Pop Rocks: A Brief Love Note to Amy Winehouse

    A few posts back, I promised all of you that I would never write about Britney Spears again. And I’m not going to. Because Britney Spears and her army of fellow tartlets have been boring me to tears for way too long. But you know who’s not boring? Amy Winehouse. In fact, she’s deliciously ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2007
  • News

    October 4, 2007
  • Blogs

    September 12, 2007
  • Blogs

    September 6, 2007

    Miss Pop Rocks: Memo to Larry King: Retire

    So I’m probably going to get totally hated on for this one. But does anyone else out there think the retirement alarm is going beep beep beep for Larry King? And I’m not just saying it because of his many gaffes, like the recent interview with Ringo Starr in which he referred to Ringo as Georg ... More >>

  • Dining

    August 16, 2007

    Monarch Restaurant

    Fit for a King (Almost)

  • News

    July 12, 2007

    Mail Call

    Just for Sports

  • Blogs

    June 8, 2007
  • Blogs

    May 7, 2007
  • Music

    January 11, 2007

    Rogue Waves

    A new report cuts through the static on the radio industry

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2007

    Join the Corps Step into this booth, baby, and we'll make history. If you've ever listened to National Public Radio's Morning Edition and been awoken from its lulling, information-feeding spell by a heartfelt talk between a woman and her granddaughter, you've been introduced to StoryCorps. T ... More >>

  • Music

    August 24, 2006

    The Edge of the Spotlight

    Trouble for "Texas Troubadour" Chris Knudson

  • Music

    June 15, 2006

    Are They the New Beatles?

    Nope. But the Arctic Monkeys might be the next Who

  • Music

    March 30, 2006

    Clan Ferdinand

    It takes a true Scotsman to get to the bottom of this whole Franz Ferdinand thing

  • Music

    March 16, 2006

    The Hype of March

    Who will be the band of 2006, and why you shouldnt care

  • Calendar

    February 16, 2006
  • Calendar

    January 12, 2006
  • Film

    November 24, 2005


    Ryan Reynolds recalls his fat years in Just Friends

  • Film

    June 9, 2005

    Problems at Home

    Brad and Angelina are out to kill each other. You may want a piece of them, too.

  • Music

    May 12, 2005

    System Overload

    Justin Moyer, Edie Sedgwick and Supersystem's Justin Destroyer are all the same person -- sort of

  • Calendar

    December 16, 2004

    How Would Jesus Groove?

    A Broadway Superstar returns to save your soul

  • Calendar

    September 2, 2004

    Tail Wagon

    Help E! live up to its exclamation point

  • Music

    March 4, 2004

    One Hundred Million Reasons to Go See Great White

    "Once Bitten Twice Shy" ain't one of 'em

  • Music

    January 15, 2004

    Midtown Honky-tonkin'

    Trains and the vintage sounds of the Swank Countrypolitans bring a time warp to the Continental Club

  • More >>