Paul Ryan

  • Blogs

    December 16, 2013

    The Tea Party: Where Does it Go From Here?

    The Tea Party is best understood as the latest reactionary lurch to the right of the Republican Party during the past 60 years: the Birchers who saw the civil rights movement as a vehicle for communism, the Goldwater supporters who thought the 1964 Civil Rights Act was verboten, the election of the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2013

    It's Never Too Early: 2016 GOP Presidential Frontrunners

    It is, after all, almost 2014. And we know that the beginnings of what political scientists call the "invisible primary" are well underway -- i.e., the GOP (and the Dems, but more on that in another post) elites are already deciding who is a viable presidential candidate and ideologically trustworth ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2013

    Four Reasons Why Being Politically Ignorant May or May Not Matter

    The Onion, as it so often does, hits the nail on the head regarding political ignorance with this "headline": "Man Who Understands 8% Of Obamacare Vigorously Defends It From Man Who Understands 5%." The satirical headline is simply highlighting the commonplace that Americans simply do not know much ... More >>

  • Film

    June 6, 2013

    The Purge Asks Questions, Gives Conflicting Answers

    The action is awesome, but does that hurt the message?

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    Texas In 2016: Hillary Beats Rick Perry?

    At some point, Texas will give up its status as a GOP guarantee. That seems the consensus, at least. A burgeoning Hispanic population, increasing transplants from California and New York, and a youth bubble surpassed by only Utah -- all signs point toward an eventual purpling of this putative Republ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2013

    Still Depressed About the Texans? Bad Lip Reading the NFL Is the Cure

    Some you are moping around the city still upset about the Texans loss. I hear you on the sports radio all angry and frustrated and depressed. Sad Texan fan is sad. But time to buck up there, Jimmy sadface. The season for the Texans is over and it's ok. Now, you don't have to even think about the Sup ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2012

    Projection: Social Media Wins Big in 2012

    Thanks a lot Christians, for not showing up.You disgust me.— Victoria Jackson (@vicjackshow) November 7, 2012 Amidst the pundits and the graphics and the touch screen monitors and the iPads strapped to the arms of The Daily Show's John Oliver, probably the most watched network on election ni ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2012

    Bronco Bama For The Win: Your Election Night 2012 Live Blog & Comment Feed

    "There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth or something I guess..." -- Luke 13:28, A Copy Of The Bible I Swiped From A Hotel Room Hello and welcome to Hair Balls' election night live blog and comment, where tonight I will be chronicling the mania of the 2012 presidential ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 30, 2012

    A Gallery Of U.S. Presidents Working On Their Fitness

    I don't know about you guys, but when I looked at the crop of Republican presidential candidates about a year ago, as the media and primary wars waged on, I could only think about what they would look like jogging or working out. It's a hidden hot-button issue. Depraved, mindless people like me vote ... More >>

  • Film

    October 25, 2012

    Centuries of Too Muchness

    Your past lives probably didn't love Cloud Atlas, either.

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2012

    Last Night's Veep Debate: Raaawrrr Biden Angry! Biden Smash!

    Put that grin away, Joe Biden. Thing's loaded. Last night at the vice presidential debate, Biden, ebullient and smirking, did everything Democrats wanted him to do. He was a jerk. He was aggressive. And he wouldn't let Paul Ryan get away with anything. Also, he said the peculiar word "marlarky" a l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 11, 2012

    Which Joe Biden Will Show Tonight? Hopefully The One From The Onion

    "Sensual, powerful, Biden." So says The Onion. Vice President Joe Biden has been quite possibly the most-parodied man over the last four years. Gregarious, toothy, and with that "Hey-just-call-me-Joe" air about him, he's been the exact opposite of Obama, who's brains and little fire. Biden, meanwhi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2012

    Paul Ryan's Airplane Stuck in Houston -- How'd He Spend the Delay?

    On the campaign trail, there's not a moment that goes unused. BlackBerries -- oh, the BlackBerries. While the iPhone triumphs in the general population, it appears the only subspecies of man still trolling with BlackBerries are the political stooges and groupies. Every time there's a lapse in schedu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2012

    Julian Castro: Three Things We Learned About San Antonio's Mayor At Last Night's DNC

    At first, it seemed strange that, on one of the most important nights for Democrats, they would open with a a guy with a sprawling white smile who no one had heard of before. But hey, Dems must have thought, it worked in 2004 -- why not play this hand again? So they did, trotting out Julian Castro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 3, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Would Life In Paul Ryan's America Be Scary?

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 31, 2012

    Let's Get Ahead Of Ourselves: Romney Wins, Dies, And Paul Ryan Takes Over? Introducing Paul Ryan's America

    For a moment, let's talk fantasy. Let's say Mitt Romney somehow overcomes all of his apparent weakness -- Bain Capital rapaciousness, tax-record speculation, rich-guy aloofness -- and somehow ekes past President Obama in November in one of the narrowest victories in recent American politics. Democra ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 29, 2012

    From The GOP Convention: The Seven Craziest Souvenirs

    Our sister paper Miami New Times is hard at work covering the 2012 Republican convention in Florida. To which we say Thank Christ because, you know, someone has to. We did our time in the Dome in 1992. New Times' Victor Gonzalez has been roaming the halls, looking for the mementoes available to att ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2012

    RNC Hoopla: Ted Cruz Saying Stupid Things, Fitting in Just Fine

    Ah, the Republican National Convention. Glitz. Glamour. Ted Cruz -- our newly-anointed Texan conservative savior -- saying really dumb things. And Christianity. Lots and lots of Christianity. But first, back to Cruz, who's scheduled to address the convention tonight. So here's the deal: This is his ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2012

    The Republican Candidate's Guide To Picking Campaign Music

    This week Republicans from around the country gather in Florida to celebrate all things conservative and curse Issac for stealing the national spotlight. For me the 2012 Republican National Convention marks the true start of the presidential campaign season, the playoffs to the primaries' regular se ... More >>

  • News

    August 23, 2012

    Your Gonzo Guide to the Republican National Convention

    From cash-hungry strippers to protesters dressed as vaginas.

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2012

    Grading Ted Cruz on Meet The Press: Meh

    In his first national, mainstream media appearance since the Republican Senate nominee won the runoff election late last month, Ted Cruz displayed on Meet The Press yesterday what propelled him past Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst last month in the runoff: An ability to say pretty things, and make everyone ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2012

    One Year Ago, Rick Perry Entered The Presidential Race. How'd That Go?

    It seems like several lifetimes ago, but in fact it was exactly one year ago today that the world got its first full day of Rick Perry, presidential candidate. With all the pomp, not to mention circumstance, attendant on such an august occasion, the governor of Texas deigned to allow voters to elev ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2012

    Insane Clown Posse Incites Spiritual Debate, Asks "Where's God?"

    Here's a Video of the Entire Geto Boys Show From Saturday's Juggalo Gathering We've all asked the question, believers or non-believers alike: "Where's God?" In times of personal trial, family strife, financial disaster, or just sailing the choppy seas of relationships, when we need some sort of sup ... More >>

  • News

    July 5, 2012

    America's Petro-Terrorists

    Wall Street and Washington conspire to destablize the U.S. economy, one barrel of oil at a time.