Peyton Manning

Health Department Roundup: Clean Ruchi's, Dirty Whataburger and a Place Called Ernie's

We had a TB skin test a couple days ago, and as we approach the 48-hour minimum for a visual reading with no ominous red bump, it feels strangely like the Texans entering the fourth quarter with a two-touchdown lead on whatever ungulate team Peyton Manning is leading. Either way, we'll be keeping an ... More >>

Texans 31, Broncos 25: At Long Last, Houston Has Its 3-0 Start (Four Reasons Why)

Borrowing a famous analogy from Wade Phillips's father, Bum, the Texans have knocked and beaten on the door of the NFL's elite for three straight Septembers. In 2010, a 2-0 start came crashing down in an embarrassing home loss to Dallas. In 2011, they nearly improved to 3-0 before the defense unrav ... More >>

Texans Hang On For Win Over Broncos: You Thought This Would Be Easy?

Just in case Houston Texan fans were getting accustomed to easy blowouts, the locals made sure to remind everyone that getting to an AFC Championship, much less a Super Bowl, isn't exactly a walk in the park. With about 10 minutes left in this game at Denver, though, it sure looked like that -- the ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, Another Crappy Notre Dame Video Edition

Popcorn lung. Apparently, that's a thing. On Wednesday, a federal jury awarded a Denver man named Wayne Watson $7.2 million from various food companies after they determined that the respiratory problems he developed in 2007 were due to his frequent inhalation of the buttery aroma from microwave po ... More >>

Arian Foster Dominates; Texans 27, Jags 7: They Pay For This Crap In Florida?

Consider the plight of being an NFL fan in Jacksonville. Your team gets beat up regularly, you live in a crappy city, there's a good chance the franchise will be moving. Still, you show up. And still, you watch as your team gets decimated. Today it was the Texans, doing what they needed to do to c ... More >>

2012: Year of the Texans

Assessing all their strengths and weaknesses, we could be looking at a repeat or better.

Peyton Manning and Like-Minded Concussion-Test Cheaters: You Might Not Be Able to Get Away With It

A just-published study shows that even if you try to bomb a concussion test, you might very well get caughtcaughtcaught. That includes you, Peyton Manning. According to a study published in the Archives of Clinical Neuropsychology, it's not all that easy to purposely fail a pre-concussion baselin ... More >>

The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here! The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here!

In the timeless Steve Martin comedy The Jerk, there's a famous scene where Martin's character Navin R. Johnson sprints across the parking lot to snag a copy of the new phone book to confirm that, indeed, his name and phone number are included. When he is able to find his name he screams that inclus ... More >>

Peyton Manning -- The Betting Window Is Open

It's official now, Peyton Manning will be a Denver Bronco after signing a five-year, $96 million contract that essentially boils down to being a series of one-year contracts over the next five years. No signing bonuses, no roster bonuses, plenty of protection in case Manning sustains injury again. ... More >>

Crisis Averted, Texans Fan -- Peyton Manning Spurns Titans for Broncos

In a Texans offseason that has seen some good (Arian Foster's and Chris Myers' multiyear contract extensions), some bad (Mario Williams' leaving, although the Texans have proven they can survive that), and some ugly (the dismantling of the right side of the offensive line), strangely enough, the Tex ... More >>

A Look Ahead To Texan Free Agency, And Why It Won't Involve Peyton Manning

It was less than a month ago when I believed the Texans would consider making a play for quarterback Peyton Manning. But on the verge of the NFL's free-agent signing bonanza on Tuesday, it looks as though any Texans' changes will be on a smaller scale -- and rightfully so. It seems clear the Texan ... More >>

Five Faces of Colts Fan: A "Goodbye Peyton" Video Anthology

Peyton Manning was cut loose by the Indianapolis Colts yesterday, and while Peyton himself picks up the pieces and figures out which team's tens of millions to take next, the city of Indianapolis will take decidedly longer than Peyton himself to recover from yesterday's events. In 2012, we no longe ... More >>

Peyton Manning's Colts Career Ends, More Cheesy Peyton Videos Begin

If everyday breakups went as smoothly as the press conference at Colts headquarters Wednesday, you'd see far fewer people staying in dysfunctional relationships to merely avoid the pain and anguish that comes with ending it. Colts owner Jim Irsay and longtime quarterback/franchise icon Peyton Manni ... More >>

The Really Important Questions to Answer for the Super Bowl

So it's Super Bowl week. This game featuring a rematch between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. There will be a lot of story lines, real and imagined, developed and discussed before and during the game on Sunday. Like, for instance, the 25 mentioned below. 25. Tim Tebow because ... More >>

5 Signs You're Dangerously Starting to Think It Just Might Be the Texans' Year

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.​You have tried. You have told yourself you've been down the road before, and each time your hopes and dreams have been cruelly dashed. But you can't help it -- you are, once again, letting yourself become optimistic about the Texans. But this year th ... More >>

Top 10 Vintage Things We Miss About Football

​Tear-away jerseys, the XFL and concussion-causing headhunters aren't things we miss about football. We pine for these ten items. 10. Uniforms That Don't Suck This mostly applies to college football, where repeat offenders Oregon were joined by Georgia, Ohio State, Maryland and Syracuse (pi ... More >>

The Peyton Manning Saga -- A Very Special 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Everyone wants The Beard​"Peyton Manning's not going to let (the Colts) draft Andrew Luck." -- Phil Simms "I don't talk to Phil. Phil doesn't talk to me. He did text me after that, saying 'Hey, sorry to drag your name into this.' I wrote back, 'Phil I don't know what you're talking about.' He ... More >>

Ask A Rapper: Discussing the Six Worse Rap Collaborations Ever

The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -- lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good -- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email sheaserrano@gmail.com. &# ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets

Tim Tebow, in the act of Tebowing​So I said last weekend that we were in the midst of one of the most dominant, and in turn most predictable streaks in college football. The top ten teams each week were crushing the books to the tune of covering the number about 80 percent of their games. Two ... More >>

Texans-Saints, Etc. -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Big winner: James Casey​The easy fall back after Sunday's 40-33 to the New Orleans Saints is to say "Same ol' Texans," and in a way, I understand. Red zone issues, fourth quarter brain farts (23 points allowed), the untimely turnover, same ol' Texans. But I choose to look at the glass half f ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, A Salute To TV Season Premieres

DWTS = this week's Philly-Giants game?​Television fascinates me. It seems like a new station pops up onto my channel grid every day to the point where I'm actually a little disappointed I haven't been approached by anyone to televise the Sean Network. I mean, doesn't everyone have their own ne ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets

Odd sare Brian Kelly won't look like this Satruday night​As I get ready to drop some more decidedly mediocre wagering knowledge on all of you this weekend, I have one quick thought to share with you on the opening weekend of the NFL season: This time last season, these were your starting quar ... More >>

The New Normal

The Texans start operating like a bona fide NFL team.

Houston Texans 2011 Preview: The Jinx Is Back, Baby

​Stop me if you've heard this before -- I am very optimistic about the Houston Texans' upcoming season. I know, I know. Crazy, huh? Last year, in this very space, I called for a 10-6 season in 2010 (a logical if not glacially moving projection considering the three previous seasons went 8-8, ... More >>

Texans Preview: The Interactive Season Prediction

​For a larger, interactive version, click here. As noted below, our annual Houston Texans season preview, which includes our annual belief that the team will improve and make the playoffs, is up and on the Web. Our Sean Pendergast was optimistic even before word got out about Peyton Manning' ... More >>

Countdown To NFL Lockout 2011 (Obama Speaks!)

Obama's punting on this one​"If we can make the kind of progress that you needed to make to have a further extension, that's where we'd be looking." -- Jeff Pash, lead negotiator on behalf of the NFL owners ...and that's exactly what happened. On the heels of a 24-hour extension of the curre ... More >>

Our Year

Will Texans make it to playoffs?

World Cup: 25 Things An Outsider Learned

What? No "Heil Shitler" headline?​With the U.S. soccer team defeat to Ghana on Saturday, I thought I would note some things I noted from the World Cup this year.1. From my readings on the internet and twitter, it appeared that the U.S. soccer team was coached by Gary Kubiak. The team had bad fi ... More >>

Texans Schedule Out, And More Rides On Kubiak Than Ever Before

​The season remains nearly five months away, but with Tuesday night's much-celebrated release of the 2010 NFL schedule, the gameplanning for Peyton Manning among the Texans' brain trust can and should officially begin. Sure, this week's draft is the more pressing matter. Yes, there are still ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Quick Hits

​We're going to mix it up a bit on Pop Rocks today. Usually, I stick with one subject for the entire piece because I'd rather not depend too heavily on snarky line-item entries. But let's face it; sometimes there's just too much going on in the world of pop culture for me to focus on just one top ... More >>

Game Time: ESPN, For The Sake Of High Comedy, Do Whatever It Takes To Keep Chris Berman

In the end, all we want from any medium of entertainment is to be moved emotionally in one direction or another. Whether that emotion is joy, anger, or sadness, as long as it's removing us from the boredom of our everyday lives in some way, then it is serving a purpose.The late Jim Valvano put it ... More >>

Is Anyone Rooting For The Colts In The Super Bowl?

​Now that the NFL is down to two teams, the big question remains -- who the hell is going to be rooting for Indianapolis?Let's examine the options.The cities.On the one hand, you have a town (not a city) full of pasty Midwesterners, a burg that only has an NFL team because the owner of one of the ... More >>

Game Time: Brett Favre Melting Down....Right On Cue

​We are inundated by so much marketing hype in this day and age. Between internet pop-up advertisements, electronic billboards, late-night infomercials, not to mention all of the traditional marketing avenues, we are promised so many things by so many people, yet rarely does it happen where you ... More >>

Game Time: Come! Watch The Amazing Vince Young Water Down Matt Schaub's Pro Bowl Bid!

​For better or worse, the Texans are still at a stage in their history where they are experiencing some "exciting but for most teams not really extraordinary" things for the first time. This will happen when the first four years of your eight-year existence were spent being constructed by Char ... More >>

Announcements That Are Almost As Startling As Mark McGwire's Steroid Confession

​Former St. Louis Cardinal Mark McGwire gave a statement today to the Associated Press admitting he used performance-enhancing drugs during baseball's steroid era.The sports world is reeling from the confession, which came completely out of the blue. It is, of course, absolutely shocking; in fact, ... More >>

The Triple Option: 2-For-2 Against Disinterested Bowl Teams

Photo by John RoyalThe not-so-filled stands at the Texas Bowl.​The Texas Bowl and the Armed Forces Bowl featured two teams in Houston and Missouri who felt they should have been playing in better games going up against two teams who employing the triple-option run offense.The Cougars have had trou ... More >>

All I Want For Christmas Is A Football Coach

​Dear Santa Claus:I haven't asked much from you in the past few years. So since I've tried to be a good person, I'm hoping that you'll do me a solid and fulfill my wishes this Christmas. Especially since I'm not asking for Ashley Judd, like in the past, but since I'm asking for something that w ... More >>

Fire Down Below

Not a great idea to slap a woman on the butt, even at the laid-back Firehouse Saloon.

Experts Ask The Pressing Question Tonight: Are You Ready For Some Football?

​The NFL season opens tonight. We've already given you our astute and accurate take on the Houston Texans. (9-7, if you must know.) But what about the rest of the league? Do you actually want to sit through all the games, or learn what will happen in the next few grafs?We thought so.So here is how ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Final 36, Group 3

Peyton Manning flow - I just go, no huddle: Michael Becker/ Fox Lil Rounds* Hey, Von, Alex, Scott, Taylor, Kendall? You thought you were trying to advance into the Top 12 tonight, didn't you? But you were wrong: in reality, you were just opening for Lil Rounds. * Kara, do everyone a favor ... More >>

Gary Kubiak’s Top Ten Excuses for Losing to the Colts

Texans-Colts: Houston Needs to Go to Finishing School

John Royal's NFL Power Rankings

Random Thoughts from a Stupendous Sunday of Sports

Jason Friedman’s NFL Playoff Preview: Hillary Clinton is to the New England Patriots as Chuck Norris is to Jessica Simpson

John Royal’s Friends’ Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part One

Mail Call

Sports Columnist Smackdown

Still the Same: John Royal on the Houston Texans

Peyton Manning Takes a Break from Shooting Commericals, Takes Down the Texans

Boobs, Balls and Beer

Check out what's brewing for Super Sunday