R. Kelly

The 5 Best Shows In Houston This Week: November 5-8

Deerhoof Walters, November 5 San Francisco's Deerhoof is the kind of band that will either drive you crazy or capture your heart, probably both at the same time. Greg Saulnier's crew mixes experimental racket with sharp-toothed pop smarts, becoming a favorite on the oddball circuit over the past 15 ... More >>

R. Kelly

Senze: Local R&B Loverman Lays It On Smooth

Each week, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? E-mail their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. You know what you can never have en ... More >>

Ten Cruises We'd Rather Take Than the KISS Kruise

​Imagine a vacation where made-up members of your favorite glam rock band wander the decks of a cruise ship. Does that sound like heaven on earth? Well, glam boy, you're in luck as the second annual (yes, they've done one before this) KISS Kruise sets sail this October featuring that cuddly '7 ... More >>

Love Letter: R. Kelly And Online Dating

​ For over 20 years, R. Kelly has been making sexual history as the official "pied piper of R&B," lovingly encouraging men and women to embrace their inner freaks. He's probably even been present for most of you young bloods' conceptions. Behind the scenes, though, he's made personal legal h ... More >>

The Great Grinding Debate: Which Song Is Freakiest?

Bun B: "I wouldn't know. At all."

Pop Rocks on Sting: "Rock Stars...Is There Anything They Don't Know?"

You rotten flexible bastard.​ Sting. He's the artist we love to hate: Sting, everyone's favorite somnambulant acoustic pop star, has developed a somewhat checkered experience in Central Asia. In 2009, Gulnara Karimova--herself a fledgling pop singer under the name GooGooSha and daughter of ... More >>

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap: Music Fans Love Their A-Holes

You rotten flexible bastard.​Sting. He's the artist we love to hate. From The Atlantic: Sting, everyone's favorite somnambulant acoustic pop star, has developed a somewhat checkered experience in Central Asia. In 2009, Gulnara Karimova - herself a fledgling pop singer under the name GooGooSha ... More >>

Last Night (Briefly): R. Kelly & Keyshia Cole At Toyota Center

Photos by Marco Torres​R. Kelly, Keyshia Cole, Marsha Ambrosius Toyota Center June 5, 2011 Ed. Note: Rocks Off was not given review tickets for this show, just a photo pass, so we asked Marco to review what he could of the openers and Kelly's first three songs. R. Kelly, the Pied Piper of R& ... More >>

15 Gets You 20: Rock & Roll Jailbait Through The Years

theprettyreckless.com​Friday night, The Pretty Reckless (above) pulls into town for a gig at House of Blues. The band, led by Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen, is known largely for the 17-year-old singer's penchant for wearing something resembling lingerie, chain-smoking and basically being a te ... More >>

Which Other Musicians Should Start Tea Parties?

​The continued persecution of Nelson, Willie for the smoking of weed in the name of being a laid-back national treasure has spawned the Teapot Party. Get it? Rocks Off got to wondering who else will harness Willie's lightning.

Ten Songs Worse Than A TSA Pat-Down

​Today is the biggest travel day in the United States, according to the airlines. That means many of you will be experiencing for the first time the intrusive X-rays or demeaning pat-downs handed out by TSA as part of their new "You Assholes Don't Have to Fly, You Know" business strategy. Kee ... More >>

Five Musicians Who Can Help Mel Gibson Reform His Image

​Just in case you haven't heard the audio tapes of famed actor/ultra-religious headcase Mel Gibson unleashing slur-filled invective at his wife Oksana Grigorieva, you can listen to them here, but you've got to be warned, it is not even remotely safe for work unless you work in a Neo-Nazi biker ... More >>

Z-Ro Smacks Out On Disappointing Heroin

​So, here's one for you: Z-Ro's highly anticipated Heroin album, the junior LP in his line of drug-themed efforts, has apparently been released. No press release, no Twitter tweets, no radio spots, no nothing. It's just out. You can cut that up any way you see fit, but it doesn't matter. Because ... More >>

6 Songs You Never Want To Hear At Graduation

​It must be that time of year again. Seniors are suffering from GTFO Syndrome, and their loved ones are bracing themselves for several hours of obligatory, coma-inducing celebrations of learning known as "commencement." Yes, it's graduation season. Yet it could be worse. Surprisingly enough, there ... More >>

For Opening Day: The Worst Pregame Renditions Of The National Anthem Ever

What so proudly we hailed... Can you pass the earplugs, please?​ You can be forgiven for not realizing Opening Day for baseball season was here already (yesterday, in fact). Maybe you've been too busy cursing the guy in your NCAA tournament pool that filled out his brackets using the coin-flip met ... More >>

The Gourds

Aftermath: Even If You Couldn't Get In, R. Kelly Was Still Kinda Fun

Photos by Brittanie SheyFYI, the sign says "Enjoy the show." Assuming you could get in...​Aftermath was really looking forward to R. Kelly. When we were asked to cover the event we were a little hesitant, since modern R&B is entirely outside of our scope of musical knowledge, if not slightly o ... More >>

Heckler's Delight: R. Kelly at Reliant Arena

Sorry, we couldn't resist...​King of R&B. Ghostwriter supreme. Pop genius. Unabashed sex fiend. Bump 'n' grind horndog. Acquited pedophile. Ultimately, history will decide whether or not R. Kelly deserves some, all, or any of these labels, but here are two facts that aren't in dispute: 1) the ... More >>

Piss Up a Rope: Songs R. Kelly Probably Won't Sing In Concert Friday, but Should

​Get out your towels: R. Kelly is coming to town. The singer would be best known as "that guy who sang that song in the Michael Jordan/Bugs Bunny movie" if not for the allegations in 2002 that he engaged in sex with an underage girl. Kelly was found not guilty of child porn charges last year, but ... More >>

Songs Slightly Less Inappropriate Than R. Kelly's Latest Single, "Number One"

So R. Kelly's newest single is called "Number One." Seriously? Okay, we know Kelly was found innocent of all child-related golden-shower charges by a jury of 12 idiots, but when the subject of Dave Chappelle's "(I Wanna) Piss On You" releases a single called "Number One"... sorry, but we have to be ... More >>

A Third Ward Pawnshop iPod and the Mysterious Fate of Previous Owner "Scooby"

Whoever he is (was?), Scooby's iPod wasn't short on R. Kelly.​So a couple of weeks ago, after three or four years of increasingly faltering service, Rocks Off's 30 GB iPod finally died. Completely. Out of sheer broke-assedness, we had held on to it for longer than most. By the end, its quirks and ... More >>

The Country Soul of R. Kelly's "Feelin' on Yo Booty"

The Gourds didn't invent the idea of a ragtag roots-rock band spicing up its set with hip-hop and R&B covers, but thanks to their cover of Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice" (endorsed by the Doggfather himself), everybody probably thinks they did. But Gourds co-frontman Kevin Russell, playing&nb ... More >>

Turning the Screw: G.R.I.T. Boys, Scarface, Lil Wayne, The Kanye, Jay-Z, Shawty Lo, Superhead, Serius Jones and More

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week: G.R.I.T. Boys, "One Night Stand" Wire To Wire Scarface's latest - and, apparently, last - album ... More >>

T.I.: Paper Trail

Five Spot: Jack White, The Edge, Jimmy Page and the Mediocrity of Your Life

Billion Dollar Babies

Rappers and their ten-figure dreams

R. Kelly, Double Up

Welcome to R. Kelly's sex planet

Closet Case

R. Kelly's Motley Crew Returns

The Return of "Trapped in the Closet"

Win Butler with the Swish!!

R. Kelly's Artistic Process

A look inside his musical mind

Wheels on the Bus

HISD's version of "neighborhood input"

Mama Mia

Our blushing Nightfly takes his Catholic mom to see R. Kelly

Feel This Man

If you think R. Kelly is anything less than the greatest recording artist alive, you're wrong!

I'd Much Rather Be with the Girls

Critics might damn Fantasia's music with faint praise, but we say she's keeping up a sacred pop tradition

The Killers vs. the Killers

How do these pretty boys stack up against some real dealers of death?

Fat Joe

All or Nothing

No More Drama

R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" sputters to a disappointing close

Where's the Beef? Right here in H-town

T.I. and Lil' Flip rumble in Cloverland, bringing one of the great rap feuds of recent years to a head

R. Kelly

Happy People/U Saved Me (Jive)

Letters

Letters

O.J. All Over Again

Charm trumps evidence with accused pedophile R. Kelly

Playbill

Coming This Week

Who R. You?

The enigma that is R. Kelly keeps audiences enthralled, guessing

Sex Sells

Bill-bored

At least Tom Jones left the mesh shirt at home