Rachel Brown

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2014

    Rachel Brown Accuses Her Attorneys of Ripping Her Off

    Michael "I Hope There's Tons of Cocaine in Heaven" Brown's widow, Rachel Brown, has sued three of her attorneys, accusing them of looking out for their own financial interests instead of protecting hers. Filed March 31 in Harris County District Court, the suit accuses David Brown (no relation), Je ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2013

    Sources: Michael Brown Is Dead

    Multiple sources close to the case, including Rachel Brown's divorce lawyer David Brown, are telling us that Michael Brown died after he was taken off life support Thursday. Will have more soon.

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2013

    Sources: Michael Brown in Miami Hospital

    Ex-hand doc Michael Brown is in serious condition in a Miami hospital, sources told Hair Balls on Sunday. Citing hospital policy, a supervisor at Mount Sinai Medical Center would not confirm if Brown was a patient. Brown was to report to Miami authorities October 25 to begin a 30-day sentence in f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 23, 2013

    Michael Brown Sues The Guy He Hired to Save His Companies

    Here's a riddle: What do you do when you are facing sentencing in federal court for choking a flight attendant after telling her you wanted to "fuck" her and a co-worker, while at the same time ignoring another judge's bench warrant for your arrest? Well, if you're Michael "Act Like Your [sic] Enj ... More >>

  • News

    August 8, 2013

    Not on Hand

    Dr. Michael Brown a no-show at hearing; judge issues warrant.

  • Blogs

    July 31, 2013

    Michael Brown Facing More Jail Time

    A Houston judge issued a warrant for ex-hand surgeon Michael "I am the alpha male and live to suit my dick" Brown's arrest after the alleged anal herpes purveyor failed to appear at a hearing in his divorce case Tuesday. Lawyers for Brown's estranged wife, Rachel, were seeking an emergency order to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2013

    Lawsuit: Michael Brown Sexually Assaulted Unconscious Woman

    Michael "She Had a Nice Ass and I Was Hard" Brown allegedly "sexually assaulted an unconscious woman on his boat in the presence of others," according to a lawsuit filed by Brown's former chief of staff. In the suit, filed in Harris County District Court, Ray von Proctor claims he was demoted as ch ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2013

    Michael Brown: He Was Quietly Released From Jail Last Week

    It was truly a Good Friday for ex-hand surgeon Michael "She Had a Nice Ass, and I Was Hard" Brown, who was released from Harris County Jail March 28, after serving about 20 days of his 180-day sentence. Although Harris County Family Court Judge Sheri Dean denied Brown's request for an early releas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 25, 2013

    UPDATED: Michael Brown Says He Got E. Coli in Jail, So He Needs Out -- Now!

    Update: Judge Sheri Dean didn't spring Michael Brown from jail today after hearing from Rachel Brown's attorneys, as well as another attorney Dean personally assigned as an administrative judge, that Brown hasn't paid attorneys' fees as ordered. However, he has another jail review hearing April 4. I ... More >>

  • News

    March 14, 2013

    The Doctor Is in (Jail)

    Michael Brown's wild week.

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2013

    Michael Brown Gets 180 Days in Jail

    Judge Sheri Dean sentenced Michael Brown to 180 days in Harris County Jail this morning for spending millions on luxury items and real estate, in violation of a 2011 court order. She found he had violated the majority of claims his estranged wife Rachel Brown brought against him in their Neverending ... More >>

  • News

    March 7, 2013

    Dear Houston: You're Idiotic

    Parking rules are inane.

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2013

    Michael Brown's Lawyers: He's Broke, and Jeff Bagwell is Trying to "Take" His Children

    While Michael "Sex Advice Columnist for His Own Daughter" Brown testified in a contempt hearing in Houston this week, lawyers in Miami are continually filing a flurry of papers claiming, among other things, that Brown was too broke to fly his private plane, despite the fact that he recently filed pa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 27, 2013

    Michael Brown: Whoops -- I Didn't Really Mean to File for Bankruptcy After Buying That $8 Million Mansion!

    As if the clusterfuck of multi-jurisdictional litigation involving wife-beater and alleged flight-attendant-choker Michael "I Did Not Give That Woman Anal Herpes" is not crazy enough, the former TV-ad icon is seeking to dismiss his bankruptcy filing in a Miami federal court. Avid Brown-watchers wi ... More >>

  • News

    May 24, 2012
  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Jeff Bagwell's Nightmare With Hand Doctor Michael Brown Gets Worse

    Houston Astro legend Jeff Bagwell continues to pay the price for getting involved with the weird, sleazy, black hole that is the court odyssey of TV-ad star hand doctor Michael Brown. Brown has had a series of cases in criminal and divorce court, and vague allegations that Bagwell -- who's been goi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2012

    Dr. Michael Brown's Lawyers: Wife's Lawyer Called Us the C-Word and "Flat-Chested"

    In the roughly 87 years we've been covering allegations of cocaine-absorbing, pregnant-wife-pummeling, creepy-sex-advice-spouting, alleged-stripper-banging, medical-license-losing doctor Michael Glyn Brown, we've yet to see his ever-changing lineup of lawyers sink to such an entertainingly gutter le ... More >>

  • News

    February 9, 2012

    Hand-Doctor Follies

    Brown continues to astound

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2012

    Michael and Rachel Brown Divorce Court: Brown's CFO Takes the Fifth Over Questions About Alleged Embezzlement

    The chief financial officer for Dr. Michael Brown's various corporations invoked his Fifth Amendment rights during divorce proceedings Tuesday and Wednesday in response to a barrage of questions about whether Brown has been siphoning corporate funds to pay for a boat and home in Miami. Under questi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2012

    Attorney to Judge: Please Make Michael Brown Stop Spending Money on Strippers!

    The divorce lawyer for cocaine-ologist and former hand surgeon Michael Brown's estranged wife have filed a Family Court motion accusing him of violating agreed orders by spending nearly half a million dollars on strippers in 2011. Rachel Brown's attorney, David Brown (no relation), alleges that the ... More >>

  • News

    January 19, 2012
  • Blogs

    January 10, 2012

    Stacy Shey: Dr. Brown's Alleged Stripper Ex Says He Spent $60K/Month on Gal Pals

    Attention hot twenty-year-old strippers: Have you ever wondered what it'd be like to date a famous Houston doctor? Namely, one who pledges to treat you "like family"? Well, according to one gal we spoke with, it's quite the gig. Our peek into the dating life of former hand surgeon/man-about-town-no ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2011

    Dr. Brown Found in Contempt for Stalking Estranged Wife

    Dr. Brown​Cocaine-and-dildo enthusiast Michael Brown has been cited for violating a protective order prohibiting him from following his estranged wife, Rachel. According to transcripts from a November 11 hearing in the 280th Harris County District Court, Brown's attorney, Mike Debruin, stip ... More >>

  • News

    October 27, 2011

    Out of Hand

    Michael Glyn Brown was recently acquitted of assaulting his wife. But that's only the latest allegation against the violent, drug-abusing doctor, long a fixture of Houston TV commercials and society.

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2011

    Brown Trial: Not Guilty, Not Surprising

    Michael Brown is not a guilty man.​In a strictly legal sense, today's not guilty verdict in Dr. Michael Brown's assault trial was probably the right call. Although prosecutors Jane Waters and Nathan Hennigan probably did the best with what they had, they didn't have much. Rachel Brown had no ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2011

    Brown Trial: Jury Still Out

    Michael Brown awaits a jury decision.​The jury in Michael Brown's assault trial will resume deliberations tomorrow, unable to reach a decision after three hours today. The deliberation followed fiery closing arguments by prosecutors Jane Waters and Nathan Hennigan, acting more alive than they ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2011

    Brown Trial: Please, For the Love of God, Make the Lameness Go Away

    Trial resumes Monday​"I saw him chasing my mom," Michael Brown's 13-year-old stepdaughter told the jury in today's excruciatingly dull and pointless edition of the ex-hand surgeon's assault trial. Brown showed no emotion (just as he's done throughout this ordeal) as the girl testified in a v ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2011

    Brown Trial: Rachel And Bagwell, Sittin' in a Tree

    Jeff Bagwell lends a hand​Judge Jim Wallace did not allow Michael Brown's lawyers to introduce evidence that the ex-hand surgeon's wife is banging former Astro Jeff Bagwell in Brown's assault trial today. Arguing admissibility after the jury was excused, attorney Dick DeGuerin got Rachel Brow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2011

    Michael Brown Trial: A Butt-Dial and a Humanitarian Award Used as a Weapon

    Michael Brown, throwing humanitarian awards​A butt-dialed voicemail allegedly revealing an extramarital affair spurred the argument leading to Michael Brown's assault charge, prosecutors argued in the first day of testimony in the ex-hand surgeon's trial. After spending August 12, 2010, with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2011

    Ex-Hand Doctor Michael Brown's Assault Trial Begins Monday

    Michael Brown: TV ad star is in the dock​Ex-hand surgeon and international dildo transporter Michael Brown is set to stand trial in Harris County District Court September 12 on a felony assault charge involving his wife, Rachel. Brown was indicted in January for an August 2010 incident in whi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 10, 2011

    Michael Brown: Wife's Divorce Attorney Claims the Hand Doctor Tried to Hire a Hit Man to Kill Her

    Michael Brown facing more allegations​Former hand surgeon Michael Brown tried to hire a hit man to kill his wife, his wife's lawyer told a Harris County Family Court judge Thursday. In a heated meeting in front of Judge Jim York, David Brown (no relation) said he had received a tip from the H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2011

    Michael Brown, TV-Ad Doctor, Indicted for Felony Assault

    Michael Brown the hand doctor, in trouble again​Our favorite dildo-lovin', coke-sniffin', license-losin', creepy-home-video-makin' ex-doctor, Michael Brown, has been indicted for felony assault by a Harris County grand jury.The January 25 indictment follows Brown's August 2010 arrest for ... More >>

  • News

    December 16, 2010

    Dr. Brown's Dubai Detention

    Sex toys get hand doc in trouble

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2010

    Michael Brown: Sex Toys And Porn Bring Dubai Trouble For TV's Hand Doctor

    Golfer Cristie Kerr knows how Michael Brown feels​We don't know how we missed this, but cocaine-using, wife-beating, medical-license-losing ex-hand surgeon Michael Brown was detained in Dubai earlier this year when authorities there confiscated "sexual paraphernalia, sex videos, and other objects" ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 25, 2010

    Dr. Michael Brown, TV Star, Arrestee, And Chron Society Page Fave

    A photo the Chron doesn't use on its society pages​The Houston Chronicle had the story yesterday about the latest arrest of Dr. Michael Brown, this time accused of assaulting his wife.Everytime the Chron mentions Brown, we think of the 2002 Houston Press story on his druggy, wife-abusing ways (if ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 20, 2009

    More Ugly Trouble For That Doctor From The Wholesome TV Ads

    ​Houston's wackiest, silliest married couple is at it again: Last Sunday night, Rachel Brown, wife of cocaine-enthusiast and medical-license-losing former surgeon Michael Brown (star of local television ads featuring his kids) called 911 because, per the offense report, "her husband is trying to k ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2008

    Paging Doctor Brown. No, Not the Back to the Future Guy. The Wife-Beating, Coke-Snorting Hand Center Guy. Michael Brown. Yeah, That One.

    Houston’s favorite wife-beating, medical-license-losing, cocaine-positive-testing dad has done it again: On June 4, a hair plucked from the scalp of “Doctor” Michael Brown tested positive for cocaine, according to Brown’s case file in Judge Bonnie Hellums’ family court. Brown lost his med ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2006

    Keeping Up with Dr. Brown

    Brown's now forbidden to get this close to 50 percent of his kids. When we last left renowned hand surgeon-cum-wife-beater Dr. Michael Brown, he had lost his medical license for failing a drug test. But his woes did not end there: On November 7, a Harris County judge granted a protective order ba ... More >>

  • Culture

    June 9, 2005

    Capsule Reviews

    Our critics weigh in on local theater

  • News

    February 3, 2005

    Taking His Medicine

    Troubled hand surgeon Michael Brown pursues custody of his two children

  • Culture

    October 31, 1996

    No Contest

    Inherit the Wind should be moving debate; the Alley makes it one-sided argument