Subject: Rick Perry

• Re: Dirty Money

  February 27, 2007

• No, Thanks. We'll Take Cancer.

  February 5, 2007

• Stars and Bars

  January 19, 2007

• Well, They Both Have Great Hair

  January 16, 2007

• We'll Take Popularity over Success Any Day

  January 8, 2007

• Behind the Scenes of a Conference Call

  September 27, 2006

• Chris Bell Is In Your Extended Network (?)

  August 10, 2006

• What Kind of Vehicle Is Each Republican Presidential Candidate?

  October 18, 2007

• Rick Perry Talks Cancer at the Texas Life Science Conference

  November 1, 2007

• Rick Perry Hangs Out with Heathens, Plays with Fire

  December 12, 2007

• Texas Horror Movies: The Top Five

  August 18, 2008

• Hurricane Gustav -- Already A Disaster

  August 29, 2008

• Sorry? For What?

  September 23, 2008

• Rick Perry's HPV Vaccine Has A New Market: Immigrants

  October 3, 2008

• Watershed Election?

  A new group wants to push an anti-flooding agenda

  July 31, 2003

• Democratic National Committee (Of Course) Plans To Hold Its Next National Meeting In a Traitorous State That Hates America

  It stands to reason that when a socialist, fascist-dominated communist organization plans a big meeting, they're going to hold it in a place that so hates America its governor has expressed a desire to leave it.No, not Alaska -- it was the governor's Husband, not the governor, who belonged to a group of secessionists, who by definition must hate America.The state we're talking about is, of course, Texas, where Governor Rick Perry despises the United States so much he has floated the idea of leav

  June 2, 2009

• Texas Governor's Race: The Fun Is Beginning

  As you've no doubt heard, Kay Bailey Hutchison yesterday took the first steps to enter what would be a highly, highly entertaining GOP primary for the governorship next year (Just think of the hair-care budgets alone between her and Rick Perry).What about the not-so-boy wonder from Houston, Mayor Bill White? Is the term-limited hizzoner going to run for governor or for the Senate?We'll find out next week, White told Channel 13's Miya Shay.

  December 5, 2008

• Rick Perry, Populist

  The sparring has already begun in earnest in what will likely be the most entertaining Texas governor's race since Clayton Williams was cracking rape jokes.Kay Bailey Hutchison vs. Rick Perry. The Hairspray Hate-Off.Things got ugly when one of Hutchison's supporters, the head of UT's investment board, resigned because he paid bonuses to the fund's executives even though the fund lost 27 percent of its value this year.She accused Perry of orchestrating "a set-up" to embarrass Robert Rowling.Perry

  February 10, 2009

• Rick Perry Chooses The Perfect Place To Make A Bold Stand

  Photo courtesy rickperry.orgGovernor Rick Perry boldly announced today that he won't take a half-billion in federal stimulus funding because...part-time workers might benefit.There's a stance for you.The proposed stimulus funds are designated for unemployment benefits, but come with a mandate that part-time workers also get unemployment. That's a no-no in Perryland.Small-business owners (How come Republicans never mention "big-business owners"?) would have to pay too much in unemployment taxes i

  March 12, 2009

• Bush Dole

  January 21, 1999

• The Texas Fitnessgram Idea May Not Be As Awe-Inspiring As Our Governor Would Have Us Think

  Photo by mikebairdEarlier this week, Governor Rick Perry called a press conference to announce the results of last spring's statewide Fitnessgram assessment of Texas public-school students. According to a press release, the results were based on six tests "taken by more then two million students in grades 3-12, representing 85 percent of the state's school districts." Students were measured as they ran, jumped, and proved how flexible they were. The results weren't exactly something to crow over

  March 13, 2009

• Is Casino Gambling in the Cards for Galveston?: Getting Up a Game

  March 5, 2009

• Bill White, the F-word and "Gatemouth" Brown

  Bill White offends Georgians

  October 2, 2008

• Feature Photo

  November 22, 2007

• Amazingly, There Are Some Flaws In Rick Perry's Plan To Secede

  As the whole blogosphere knows by now, Rick Perry -- the only governor Texas has at the moment -- has talked of the possible need to secede from the United States.This apparently counts as pro-America rhetoric at a tea party; the logic of that escapes us. (Oh yeah, it's no longer "America" when there's a Democrat in charge.)Perry is trembling with fear at the thought of Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison taking him on next year, so he's running madly as far right as he can get.Still -- even though it'

  April 16, 2009

• Waiting for Friedman

  Knocking back a few with the Kinky crowd

  October 5, 2006

• Wait Your Turn

  Living with lead paint? The city will tell you...eventually

  December 29, 2005

• Raking It In

  Are Houston cops trying to make up for lost revenue?

  December 15, 2005

• Purchase Orders

  Bob Perry writes a lot of checks to politicians, and wields a lot of influence as a result

  February 24, 2005

• The Dead Zone

  Houston buries its Inner Loop past under bright new shiny Perry Homes town houses

  February 24, 2005

• Double-Wide Divide

  Critics say Perry's turnpike plans will take a terrible toll on Texans

  January 13, 2005

• Capturing Friedman

  Texas's renaissance man waxes political and philosophical

  March 18, 2004

• A Kinky Kind of Campaign?

  Friedman may be just the one to muss up Guv Goodhair's re-election plan

  December 4, 2003

• Bull Session

  A state clerk goes bonkers over legislative bills

  June 12, 2003

• All I Want for Christmas Is...

  A shopping list for your favorite political types

  December 26, 2002

• Money Talks

  Mattress Mac's bowl was a joke everywhere but Houston

  January 4, 2001

• What We Lose, And What We Gain, If Texas Secedes

  Rick Perry, our governor, has taken a steep dive off the sanity cliff with his preachin'-to-the-Rush-choir talk of seceding from the United States.This may be hard to imagine, but we think Perry might not have thought the whole thing through so well. And not just because he's presented the image of a white, Southern-accented governor foaming on about "state's rights," but because there are certain things Texas would have to give up -- and put up with -- if we became an independent country.What w

  April 17, 2009

• Amnesty International Begins 200-Minute Vigil Against The Death Penalty

  Amnesty International has just begun a 200-minute vigil outside the Harris County Criminal Courthouse to protest the upcoming 200th execution under Governor Rick Perry.The original rally title, "Help Rick Perry Win The GOP Primary," was apparently discarded.But holding an anti-death-penalty vigil in Harris County? Why? We don't execute people anymore. Well, at least not as much as we used to.AI will also be issuing a report calling for Perry to commute the death penalties of two inmates schedule

  April 30, 2009

• The Real Reason Perry Wants To Secede: Football

  Governor Rick Perry has been pressing for Texas to secede from the nation. He might bitch about high taxes, but I think we all know the real reason he's pushing this idiotic movement.  How else can the Texas Longhorns win a national championship?Sure, the Longhorns helped to devise the Big 12 ground rules that kept the Horns from playing for the Conference championship, which in turn kept them from playing for the national title. And sure, maybe if the Horns could have actually won a game w

  May 5, 2009

• TxDOT Tries Kinky Phone Sex To Get You To Protect Your Car Title

  A winsome brunette in a fetish outfit featuring latex gloves and a mask, answers the phone.A heavy-breathing man on the other end is getting excited. "Relax," she purrs. "Take it from the beginning."Later she teases, "You like to surf the internet, don't you?" Then things build to a climax."Now go back to sleep," she coos.This shocking video of an outrageous and debauched episode of phone sex is being paid for by your tax dollars and is put together by the Texas Department of Transportation.Rick

  May 7, 2009

• Rick Perry's Biking Accident Somehow Leads To Outbreak Of Hair Jokes

  The news day is nearly done, and we can begin to total up the Official Rick Perry Hair-Joke Count.As you likely know, Perry broke his collarbone while riding a bike. If you didn't know, then you were, apparently, one of the few people who didn't head directly to the web to make a hair joke.Google rick perry collarbone hair and you get commenters saying:-- I hope he is okay, but how is his hair? Did it move? (Dallas Morning News blog)-- Did he mess up his hair? Hey, someone was going to say it (D

  June 10, 2009

• Perry Signs New Law Designed To Improve Safety At State Schools

  This week's cover story, The Recruit, deals with state schools and the popular alternative: privately-owned group homes. Today, Governor Rick Perry signed into law a bill designed to improve the safety and quality of care for residents at state schools. "Whether these Texans live in a state facility or in therapeutic community settings, we are obligated by basic human decency to provide them with a safe setting in which to live, learn and grow," Perry said. "SB 643 improves oversight of the stat

  June 11, 2009

• Let's Make This Rick Perry-Bobby Jindal Bet Interesting, For Chrissake

  The Texas Longhorns are playing the LSU Tigers in the College World Series, and that can mean only one thing: an entirely dull press release announcing some stupid bet between the governors of the respective states.And voila!! Rick Perry's putting up Texas barbecue, Bobby Jindal is putting up seafood, and they bothzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.Barbecue vs. seafood? This is the best they can do? We think not. Here are some bets that might really be worth talking about.1. The internet was abuzz two year

  June 23, 2009

• Rick Perry Deserves Some Kicks, For Sure

  Photo courtesy Perry Flickr group​Via Wonkette, we learn that the man they call "Shoe Pervert Rick Perry" has a new Flickr group, and Perry's blog backs the claim up.It's "Kicks For Rick," and the idea (for some reason), is to send in pictures of your favorite shoes adorned with Rick Perry stickers, or something like that.So far there haven't been many takers, but we're sure the idea will rocket very soon.In fact, we call on our town's best drag queens, TVs and cross-dressers to put on their b

  July 30, 2009

• Feeling The Sweet Flow Of Freedom With Sean Hannity

  Photo by Pete Vonder Haar​Conservative radio/TV host Sean Hannity began hosting his "Freedom Concert" series, benefiting Oliver North's Freedom Alliance Scholarship Fund for the children of soldiers killed or disabled in action, back in 2003. Last Saturday the 2009 incarnation kicked off at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, boasting a powerhouse lineup featuring the likes of Billy Ray Cyrus, Lee Greenwood, and other acts that haven't been relevant since the 1980s, if ever, and Hair Balls wa

  August 3, 2009

• Gubernatorial Candidate Kinky Friedman: My Dog Could Run This State As Well As Rick Perry

  Photos by Craig Hlavaty​ "Going from musician to politician is definitely a step down," says Kinky Friedman, who announced his Texas gubernatorial candidacy Tuesday morning. "But I'll take it for Texas." Of course, it's a step that Friedman, author of songs such as "They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Any More" and "The Ballad of Charles Whitman," as well as numerous mystery novels, took once before in 2006, when he took about 13 percent of the popular vote as an independent. Running as a Democr

  September 2, 2009

• Gubernatorial Candidate Kinky Friedman: My Dog Could Run This State As Well As Rick Perry

  Photos by Craig Hlavaty​ "Going from musician to politician is definitely a step down," says Kinky Friedman, who announced his Texas gubernatorial candidacy Tuesday morning. "But I'll take it for Texas." Of course, it's a step that Friedman, author of songs such as "They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Any More" and "The Ballad of Charles Whitman," as well as numerous mystery novels, took once before in 2006, when he took about 13 percent of the popular vote as an independent. Running as a Democr

  September 2, 2009

• Perry Announces Superhero Team To Patrol Border, Maybe Spawn Cable Series

  ​Governor Rick Perry visited Houston Thursday to introduce the Ranger Recon Team, a new border security task force aimed at beefing up the Texas-Mexico border from cartel violence spilling over into U. S. cities.  Gov. Perry cited two occurrences of violence along the Texas-Mexico border in the last week in his address, including bullets that shut down the UT-Brownsville campus and an El Paso kidnapping where the victim's dismembered body was found in Mexico.The new dream team enlists "hi

  September 11, 2009

• Hutchison Staying In Senate Until She Wins The GOP Gubernatorial Primary (If She Does Win)

  ​More stumbles for Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison in her attempt to take out Governor Rick Perry: After saying for months that she would quit the Senate around now to go all in on the gubernatorial race, she has just announced she won't leave until after the GOP primary.Why? Bad poll numbers leading her to think she'll lose and therefore might want to keep the DC job? Of course not.As the Dallas Morning News puts it:Now, she says, she must stay in Washington to fight against Democratic health ca

  November 13, 2009

• The Tug of War

  November 19, 2009