I don't think there are many out there that would say Rick Perry is unprincipled. The epithets are plenty, and his mistakes are many, but there are few that would claim that Perry is anything approaching the slippery flip-floppery of Mitt Romney. He's a man of his word. Thus, when Rick Perry, flyin ... More >>
Even as the ruins of the West fertilizer plant continue to serve as a reminder of the dangers of lax regulations on businesses, Governor Rick Perry keeps bragging about how few regulations there are in Texas affecting honest, civic-minded entrepreneurs who would never, ever cut what few corners exi ... More >>
Rick Perry has adopted a more behind-the-scenes approach this time around. That doesn't mean he hasn't been busy.
The excitement was palpable as Governor Rick Perry strode into the House chamber just over two years ago to make his State of the State speech. Months before the four-term Republican governor declared his run for president, Capitol observers were parsing his every phrase and praising his uncanny po ... More >>
One of the first rules we think Rick Perry opponents should learn is: Let the man talk. Let him ramble on and all you have to do is wait for him to insert his expensively booted foot in his mouth, whether it's something golden like the legendary Oops Moment, or the more run-of-the-mill stuff like c ... More >>
Apparently happy with the headlines he got for a $24,000 radio-ad buy urging California businesses to come to Texas, Texas Governor Rick Perry is stepping up his game. He tweeted the above message, warning Californians (and tipping off reporters) that there's more merriment in store.
At some point, Texas will give up its status as a GOP guarantee. That seems the consensus, at least. A burgeoning Hispanic population, increasing transplants from California and New York, and a youth bubble surpassed by only Utah -- all signs point toward an eventual purpling of this putative Republ ... More >>
In response to President Barack Obama's executive orders mostly relating to the sale and possession of firearms, Governor Rick Perry issued a release that sounds like it was pulled directly from the talking points of the National Rifle Association, which isn't all that surprising considering his sup ... More >>
Rick Perry and the Source for Women: Trust Us With Your Uter-us!
Governor Rick Perry couldn't have made it any clearer during a press conference at a Christian-based health clinic Tuesday: "My goal, and the goal of many of those joining me here today is to make abortion at any stage a thing of the past." Perry was pushing the so-called "Pre-Born Pain Bill," a bi ... More >>
Texas Senate Bill 11 aims to make drug-testing mandatory for all applicants to the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program. If applicants pee dirty, they would be ineligible to reapply for one year, unless they enroll in a treatment program. The bill would also require that parents who flunk ... More >>
Hair Balls had an amazing dream the other night -- one of the best dreams we had that didn't involve us having to immediately change the sheets. In the dream, we had no reason to do our annual Turkeys of the Year issue, for no officials or other prominent Texans had done or said anything stupid or t ... More >>
Don't worry, Jesus: You will not be fighting Your epic battle against Satan on the battlefields of Kountze High School alone. By Your side will be Governor Rick Perry and state Attorney General Greg Abbott, both of whom have somehow decided to intervene in a red-meat, hot-button issue sure to pleas ... More >>
It's been a bizarre few weeks for the Gov. The madness began in late August when Perry said he would "absolutely" consider another run at the presidency, adding that 2016 is a long ways off and "a lot of good things can happen." Oh, Rick. What "good things" are those? Did you mean the impending Ch ... More >>
Since Gov. Rick Perry abandoned the fetid remains of his failed presidential bid last January, he has socked away $1.94 million in political contributions, bringing the total amount of ching deposited with Texans for Rick Perry, his political action committee, to $3.4 million, according to recent ca ... More >>
It seems like several lifetimes ago, but in fact it was exactly one year ago today that the world got its first full day of Rick Perry, presidential candidate. With all the pomp, not to mention circumstance, attendant on such an august occasion, the governor of Texas deigned to allow voters to elev ... More >>
Rick Perry, it's so over. Sure, you've been fun. Hell, you've been great to us here at Hair Balls. Like that time you thought Solyndra, a solar company, was a country? Or, when you applauded George W. Bush for all his work defending us from freedom? Oh, man. That was a good one. And just recently wh ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>
Governor Rick Perry has confirmed in a letter today to U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius that he's no pal of socialism and as such, must reject two key measures of Obamacare - a state insurance exchange and expanding Medicaid. To embrace a state exchange would mean playing ... More >>
Checking your cell.
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>
What if Rick Perry had never said, "Oops"? What if he could have, for Christ's sake, just remembered that he had wanted to gut the Department of Energy? What if he hadn't climbed into a tan coat and Brett Favre jeans and released that abominable Youtube video -- you know, the gay one. &nbs ... More >>
The crowd at the state GOP convention was listening to a very Rick Perry-like speech from Rick Perry when all of a sudden he injected that "my friend David Dewhurst" should be sent to Washington. Then, booing commenced. Or so the lamestream media would have you believe. Perry, ducking reporters af ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>
Until it got noticed by whoever is running Rick Perry's Facebook page -- we're guessing it's not Rick Perry -- a hunch of women were having a great old time posting to the wall. Spurred by Perry's brave decision to force trans-vaginal sonograms on all women needing abortions, they deluged the site ... More >>
As we proved conclusively yesterday in chart form, Rick Perry is riding a rocket of momentum (Note: The chart included an actual rocket) towards the White House, with his Super Tuesday vote total a vast increase over his Michigan/Arizona primaries total. The fever is building, if the mainstream med ... More >>
The pundits have declared that there was no clear winner Super Tuesday, except for President Obama. This so-called "analysis" ignores the reality that yesterday's vote demonstrates: The Rick Perry Comeback continues to soar. We showed you the amazing chart indicating Perry's dramatic momentum afte ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>
The GOP is still stumbling about, looking for someone to run against President Obama. After vastly outspending his opponent, frontrunner Mitt Romney managed to eke out a victory in his home state. And it was over an all-but-demonstrably certifiable opponent. That's not good. So the "GOP Establishm ... More >>
The GOP presidential primary has had a lot less laughs since Texas governor Rick Perry dropped out. Sure, the idea of Newt Gingrich or Rick Santorum being president is pretty funny, but without Perry there's just something missing. Great news, then: Perry has told ABC News he is considering running ... More >>
He'll always have IowaWhen Rick Perry first announced his intention to be the leader of the free world back in August, we were gleeful at the comic possibilities his race would begin. Alas, the free world, or at least that part of it that isn't rabid Tea Party frothers, didn't want Perry. H ... More >>
Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race today, finally coming to grips with a reality most had accepted on his behalf four months ago. In doing so, he proved conclusively an important point: Fast food is better for you than jogging. At least when it comes to decision-making. After faring a ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>
The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals struck down the temporary injunction on Texas's so-called sonogram law, clearing the way for abortion providers to enforce the new mandate. The law, championed by Senator Dan Patrick, requires a sonogram whenever a woman seeks an abortion. The law requires the wom ... More >>
The Rick Perry juggernaut continued to lay waste to GOP primary opponents, neatly dispatching former Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer in Tuesday's New Hampshire primary. Perry grabbed 1,735 votes in the Granite State, almost doubling the 920 votes received by Roemer, who had been perceived as the f ... More >>
After a huge thumping in Iowa, where $6 million bought him just 10.3 percent of the vote, Our Governor Rick Perry said he was coming back to Texas to reassess whether God made a mistake in telling him to run for the Presidency. This morning he tweeted, "And the next leg of the marathon is the Palme ... More >>
Ready for your Kindle.Kick a man while he's down, why don't you? Rick Perry has effectively taken himself out of the GOP nomination race, it seems, and he did it by his performance on the stump, not by skeletons in the closet coming out. But now that he's seemingly buried, former state rep ... More >>
Rick Perry has a new TV ad up in Iowa titled "Politically Incorrect." "Washington is the capital of political correctness, where doublespeak reigns and the truth is frowned upon," he says in it. "You can't say that Congressmen becoming lobbyists is a form of legal corruption. Or that we give aid mo ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>
You've probably seen it by now, but just in case you haven't, here's the precise moment Governor Rick Perry's campaign went irrevocably into the toilet: Anyone anticipating a long, drawn-out embarrassment of primaries and caucuses will be disappointed. As will those of us anticipating at least an ... More >>
Just when you think Rick Perry has said all the dumb things he possibly can, he goes and ignores his own best advice and gets in another debate. This calls, of course, for an update to the Houston Press Rick Perry Dumb-Quote Random Generator. Keep on clicking to get a new example of the wit ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>
Rick Perry preparing for his turn in the barrel.Apparently thinking the GOP presidential primary needed a sexual element beyond Herman Cain's alleged history, Rick Santorum's googleness and Newt Gingrich's sequential wives, Rick Perry has added his little bit. Which consisted of referencing ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>
Rick Perry has finally found a way to overshadow the "Rick Perry gay" google searches, which yield about 5 million results. In just one day, "Rick Perry drunk" has rocketed to 12.9 million results. Yay? Anyway, Perry's now-legendary speech in New Hampshire provided an opportunity to update our ra ... More >>
Live free or die, man. This video was first highlighted by Mother Jones, whose Tim Murphy called it "the strangest Rick Perry video I have ever seen (which is a pretty long list)." Weird? Our man Rick is just enjoying the Friday flow, baby. Especially after the 2:20 mark. Is Willie Nelson about t ... More >>
The South shall not rise again on Texas platesWho said Rick Perry running for president wouldn't bring any benefits besides hilarity? Thanks to his decision to go for it, Texans will not be subjected to Confederate flags on their license plates. The Texas Tribune first noticed that Perry to ... More >>
We watched the GOP debate last night, all of its glorious jaw-dropping moment after jaw-dropping moment. Analysis seems to indicate Rick Perry did better, but to us he came across as peevish, ill-prepared and flailing. In other words, like Rick Perry in a debate. We did love his criticism of Herma ... More >>
NO PERIOD, Governor.If your state has a team in the World Series, chances are your governor is going to make a silly bet with a cohort from the other league. So it's no surprise Rick Perry has a bet with someone called Jay Nixon, who we are reliably informed is the governor of Missouri. And ... More >>
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