Subject:

Rick Perry

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2011

    Comment of the Day: TexasSparkle?

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2011

    Rick Perry in College: Getting C's in Just About Every Course You'd Want a Potential President to Do Well in

    Cushing Memorial Library and Archives, Texas A&M University via Texas TribuneA gentlemen's C​Rick Perry has made no bones about the fact that he wasn't the most studious college student, and a transcript obtained by the Huffington Post bears that out. Among the courses Perry got a C or lower ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2011

    Gov. Rick Perry May Have Used Taxpayer Dollars To Promote "The Response", Says ACLU

    Photo by Mandy OaklanderReverend Barry Lynn and Terri Burke are protesting The Response​Diversity-minded, Constitution-abiding folks are pissed at tomorrow's one-day Jesus camp called "The Response." Governor Rick Perry, of course, is the belle of the ball. It's a little complicated since he' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 4, 2011

    How To Celebrate The Day Of Debauchery & Gluttony (Plus: Oh Noes! TexasSparkle Doesn't Like Us!)

    In case you can't make it....​The Houston Chronicle's TexasSparkle, perhaps the nation's most insightful and trenchant right-wing blogger, or perhaps not, takes us to task today for daring to be "hypocritical" about Rick Perry's Prayerapalooza. Her compelling argument: President Obama talks a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 3, 2011

    Perry's Prayerapalooza: Let the Downsizing Begin (Also: Worst Fast Ever)

    The responee to The Response has been underwhelming.​Rick Perry's famous call for the nation's governors to come to Houston this weekend to pray and fast is looking more and more like a mistake to all but the religious right. Of course, if he's looking to win a GOP primary, he may just get by ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2011

    Caption This: Rick Perry at Texas A&M

    Cushing Memorial Library and Archives, Texas A&M University via Texas Tribune​ The Texas Tribune takes a look at Rick Perry's Aggie career, which included the always hilarious M-80s in the toilets. It includes the above pair of photos, which we're sure have shown up elsewhere but still are st ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2011

    Rick Perry's Iowa Ad, Featuring World's Worst Handjob Porn

    A Super-PAC that is supporting Rick Perry --- which is in and of itself enough to make it super, in our eyes -- has begun running ads in Iowa for their boy. It's pretty standard political stuff, the Texas Miracle of unfettered job growth, etc., but in terms of subliminal sexual advertising, it's no ... More >>

  • News

    July 28, 2011

    River Oaks Monster

    Readers react to dramatic high society tale

  • Blogs

    July 25, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Maybe It's Not Time For Rick Perry

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 22, 2011

    It's Time for Rick Perry! (Featuring Epically Awful Video)

    If this doesn't get your blood pumping for a Rick Perry presidential candidacy then you, sir or madam, are devoid of blood. Fighter jets twirling in the sky, vets saluting the flag, a hideous rock song and Rick Perry spouting cliches to the whitest audience outside of an NHL arena -- what more coul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 20, 2011

    Caption This: Football Hero Rick Perry on His Knees

    ​Another installment in our occasional series of "Caption This," in which no fabulous door prizes or take-home games are awarded. Above is a screen-cap from EA Sports' video of Governor Rick Perry as an Aggie quarterback, which is a step up from his actual role as an Aggie cheerleader yell le ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 14, 2011

    Group Sues to Prevent Rick Perry's Prayer Day

    ​Governor Rick Perry's controversial August 6 gathering in Houston for a "day of prayer" has come under attack from plenty of people since it was announced in June. But, for the first time, one group has decided to take its complaints to court. The Wisconsin-based Freedom From Religion Founda ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 14, 2011

    Rick Perry's Prayer Day Countered with Day of Debauchery and Gluttony

    ​A Facebook invite has been making the rounds with the aim of countering Rick Perry's "The Response" prayer event to be held at Reliant Stadium on August 6. The invite is a counter event titled "Day of Debauchery and Gluttony -- A Great Day of Sinning!" The invite's sponsors appear to be thre ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2011

    More Godless GOP Governors Say No to Rick Perry's Prayerapalooza: The (Possible) Reasons Why

    Jersey's Chris Christie sent his regrets, for obvious reasons.​The Texas Independent has more or less been keeping a running tally of gubernatorial RSVPs to Rick Perry's invitation to come to Houston to pray and fast and be all Jesus-y. So far it's looking grim, as would any event where Kansa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 23, 2011

    Groping-Obsessed Rick Perry Isn't Satisfied With Your Policy Changes, TSA

    There shall be no groping in the Republic of Texas​The federal Transportation Securty Administration has announced policy changes that mean children under 12 will no longer undergo pat-down searches. In case you were thinking that might be enough for Governor Rick Perry to end his bizarre ant ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 21, 2011

    Rick Perry: Thou Shalt Not Grope (But Thou Shall Sonogram)

    Not allowed in Texas, pal.​Governor Rick Perry's Crusade Against Groping will not be denied. He's added to the special session agenda a bill that would outlaw any airport security agent's touching the private parts of Texans, because...well, we're not really sure, except it's a way for uptight ... More >>

  • News

    June 16, 2011

    Perry's Prayerapalooza Sparks Protests: Gov's gathering proves controversial

    Not allowed in Texas, pal.​Governor Rick Perry's Crusade Against Groping will not be denied. He's added to the special session agenda a bill that would outlaw any airport security agent's touching the private parts of Texans, because...well, we're not really sure, except it's a way for uptight ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2011

    Comment of the Day: In Defense of Rick Perry

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2011

    Here's Something: Obama Polls As Well As Perry In Texas; Both Over 50 Percent

    Make his next one a Shiner​Here's something we wouldn't have guessed: Texans give President Obama about as good a job approval rating as they do Governor Rick Perry. More surprising, both are over 50 percent. The Texas Lyceum has a new poll out, and it shows Obama with an approval rating of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2011

    Rick Perry Says He's A Prophet And That's Why Texans Don't Like Him Much

    Governor Rick Perry appeared on the Fox News network for an interview with Neil Cavuto. Cavuto made the somewhat dubious statement that Perry is "very popular outside your state, still popular but not nearly as popular within your state." (Although "outside your state" could, we guess, refer specif ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 9, 2011

    Perry For Prez Speculation Heats Up With His Key Aides Quitting Gingrich Campaign

    New signs point to yes​The political world is buzzing with word today that key aides to the hilarious Newt Gingrich presidential campaign have resigned. Why? Because some of those aides are longtime Rick Perry people, and their presence on the Gingrich team was often cited as evidence Perry wa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2011

    Rick Perry's Prayerapalooza: Protests Start To Simmer

    But SpongeBob is evil, my son​Rick Perry's courageously craven call for the nation's 50 governors to come to Houston to pray isn't exactly being met with unanimous hosannas. There's already a Facebook page up organizing protests of the August 6 event at Reliant Stadium, and other groups have ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 6, 2011

    Rick Perry Asking Other Governors to Pray And Fast For A Day, Including Chris Christie (Updated)

    Fast for a day, Chris Christie: the power of Perry compels you!​There are few t hings more annoying than the stranger who asks you if you've accepted Jesus, but Governor Rick Perry has became That Guy with a letter to the 49 other state leaders in the U.S. He's asking them to come to Houston ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 6, 2011

    Rick Perry Must Answer: Does He Think SpongeBob Is Gay?

    Well, Rick Perry?​As we noted earlier, Rick Perry is calling on the nation's governors to come to Houston to attend a big Christian rally at Reliant Stadium and spend a day fasting and praying. "There is hope for America," Perry says. "It lies in heaven, and we will find it on our knees." Ki ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2011

    Foster Care in Texas: A Broken System, Without Much Hope for Improvement

    ​Thousands of Texas foster children are subject to "immeasurable and permanent harm and are deprived of the opportunity for a safe children," according to a class-action lawsuit filed by a New York-based advocacy group against Governor Rick Perry and state child welfare officials. Filed in Ma ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2011

    Rick Perry V. Florida Governor Rick Scott: Who Makes The More Pathetic NBA Finals Joke?

    Meeting of the titans​The NBA Finals start tonight (the Rockets are not involved, if you haven't been keeping up). It's the Dallas Mavericks against the Miami Heat, and that means a silly little bet between Governor Rick Perry and Florida Governor Rick Scott, two of the more Tea Party-esque go ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2011

    Five Texas Sluts Worth Admiring

    SlutWalk Houston is right around the corner, and we've decided to celebrate, (Hair) Balls out. In case you're not familiar with the march, SlutWalk was born of a Toronto police officer's comment that women should avoid "dressing like sluts" in order not to be raped. It's a chance to stop the cycle o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 20, 2011

    Rick Perry Wades into Foreign Policy

    But he can't see Russia from his front porch.​Governor Rick Perry has told reporters he's too busy with the legislative session to think about running for the presidency, but luckily -- news flash!! -- the legislative session is dealing with American foreign policy. Apparently. Perry's office ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2011

    Perry For President 2012: And So It Begins?

    A nation shudders.​The conservative Web site Real Clear Politics is reporting it is detecting whiffs of Governor Rick Perry gearing up to run for president in 2012. "A Texas pol who is close to Perry has been telling a few key strategists that the nation's longest-serving governor sees a vacu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 3, 2011

    Mandatory Abortion Sonograms Bill Passes: Ladies, Get Ready For Your Close-Ups

    Dan Patrick has reason to smile; women, not so much.​Any woman seeking an abortion in Texas will be forced to undergo a sonogram and be asked if they want to view it or listen to the fetal heartbeat, thanks to a bill that passed today and that Governor Rick Perry says he can't wait to sign. P ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2011

    Rick Perry Whines About Helping Tornado Victims

    Rick Perry, setting new standards​More than 300 people have died and entire neighborhoods have been wiped off the map across the south because of massive tornadoes, and Governor Rick Perry has one question for President Obama: "Why are you taking care of Alabama and other states?" Perry whine ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2011

    The Bushes Hate Rick Perry: Now Everyone Knows

    Rick Perry and "George"​It really hasn't been a secret in Texas that the Bushes don't really like Rick Perry -- after all, George H.W. Bush came out for Kay Bailey Hutchison in the 2010 guv race -- but all of a sudde ntalk of it has bubbled up again. Kevin D. Williamson, a writer for the ultr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2011

    We Obey Rick Perry: Our Rain Prayer

    Another Texan followng Rick Perry's orders​As you have probably heard, Governor Rick Perry has declared today to be the first of three where Texans should pray for rain. Some might find it odd that Perry seems to be trying to co-opt the single most important three days of the Christian calend ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 21, 2011

    Rick Perry Says to Pray for Rain (to the God Who's Causing the Drought)

    A solution is at hand​Widlfires are raging in west and north Texas, 100 percent of the state is under drought conditions with little hope of relief in sight, but Governor Rick Perry has a plan: Pray. Perry formally announced today that he is setting aside three days for Texans to officially p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2011

    Rick Perry's Brutal California Itinerary

    Rick Perry: Travelin' Man​Sure, Houston is encased in ice, Dallas is snowbound and in a deep freeze, and San Antonio is shut down from the wintry blast, but don't worry: Governor Rick Perry is in sunny California. There's a 100th birthday celebration for Ronald Reagan out there, and such thin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Rick Perry to the Rescue

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 24, 2011

    Rick Perry's "Emergencies": An Agenda Set by Tea Party Talk Radio

    Rick Perry: A Randolph Mantooth for our time​Another day, another Rick Perry "emergency": This time it's forcing women seeking abortions to have sonograms. You are forgiven if you are a Texas resident -- wondering how the hell the state is going to fund education, critical social services, hi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2011

    Voter ID Is a Texas Emergency, Rick Perry Declares

    Rick Perry: It's a red-meat special in Austin today​Remember that vast tsunami of voter fraud that swept across Texas, coming close to throwing into chaos the very concept of democracy? Neither do we. Even Karl Rove, using every bit of the federal government he could get his hands on, couldn ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2011

    Spark Energy: Houston Company's Plane Drowns Out Rick Perry's Inaugural Speech

    Which way to the inauguration?​How not to get on Rick Perry's good side: Drown out part of his inaugural speech by flying your advertising plane way too low over the capitol. Spark Energy of Houston is about to learn that hard fact, or, in the alternative, make a sizable donation to some Rick ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2011

    When Governors Tweetfight (It's Very Boring)

    The Fail Whale is strong in these two​Texas A&M plays LSU in the Cotton Bowl tonight, and governors Rick Perry and Bobby Jindal can barely contain their dorky excitement. Usually this results in some godawful BBQ vs. crawfish bet, but these guys are so hip-it-hurts that they've taken the taun ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 23, 2010

    Runner-Up Turkey Of The Year: Rick Perry

    Rick Perry: One race he couldn't win​It's just one day from the 2010 Turkeys of the Year issue, where we honor what is best in Turkeydom for the past year. This will be our eighth edition of the awards, and as always competition is stiff. Building up to the grand announcement of the winners, w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2010

    Now Rick Perry Wants To Invade Mexico

    Pancho Villa redux: U.S. sends troops into Mexico due to border crime?​Talk about an election win going to your head: Now Rick Perry wants U.S. troops to invade Mexico. Speaking with Chuck Todd on MSNBC this morning, Perry said "He'd be open" to sending U.S. troops into Mexico to control bord ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 10, 2010

    National Journal Ranks Rick Perry 11th In The 2012 Stakes

    Answer: Probably not​It's never too early to begin the horse-race punditry on the 2012 presidential race, and National Journal has taken on the job. They've published their rankings of who's likely to get the GOP nod, and -- in what's good news for America but bad for Texas -- Rick Perry come ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2010

    Rick Perry Vs. Jon Stewart On A Daily Show Deathcage Match

    Stweart, Perry: Adios, mofo​In the wake of his big victory, Governor Rick Perry immediately focused like a laser beam on the state's massive budget gap. Or maybe he went on a book tour.In a series of interviews in which the cloying coyness about 2012 will be palpable, Perry is headed to the East C ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2010

    Election Coverage A-Comin': Winners, Losers, Parties

    ​Be sure to check back on later tonight for election coverage -- we've got people at the parties, ready to mingle with winners, losers and anyone who's just looking to celebrate the end of the political season.We can't make it out to Rick Perry's exotic-game ranch party location in Buda, but we're ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2010

    Greenhouse Gas Rules: Guess The Only State Not To Bother?

    Just imagine it's a smokestack instead of a cannon​New rules designed to limit harmdul greenhouse gas emissions go into effect January 2, and 49 states have taken steps to meet them.Guess which one hasn't. Mississippi? They're usually last in everything, right? WRONG.You probably realize just from ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 25, 2010

    Rick Perry: Let's Rank The Top 10 Most Wanted

    Gwen Komahcheet: The computers like him, but the coaches poll and strength of schedule....​Rick Perry's office has issued an official release today announcing that "Jose  H. Morales, a member of the Mexican Mafia," has been arrested.Morales was a member of the states' Top 10 Most Wanted Fugit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2010

    Rick Perry: Five Campaign Posters He Should Consider

    The Texas gubernatorial race plods along, both sides flinging charges of corruption, no debates, not a whole lot of doubt about the outcome.Rick Perry, it seems, will be re-elected even though no one really likes the guy.Perry needs to stir up some excitement, and you don't do that by just strolling ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2010

    Rick Perry Chides Redskins Fans, And Is Actually Kind Of Funny Doing So

    Rick Perry mocks you, effectively​Governor Rick Perry has never exactly come across as someone with a good sense of humor, unless you like tired jabs involving things like "hot air" and "Washington."But either he's gotten funnier or (more likely) his staff has stepped up. Because Perry has issued ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2010

    Is Rick Perry's Campaign Losing Its Fastball?

    The torubles at Metro have once again become fodder for Governor Rick Perry's campaign, which released a new video highlighting the latest news.It's pretty disappointing, actually. You can tag an opponent with trying to use loopholes to avoid a "Buy America" clause and the best you can do is anothe ... More >>

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