Subject:

Rick Perry

  • Blogs

    March 1, 2012

    The Rick Perry Comeback: The Chart Mitt Romney Doesn't Want To See

    The GOP is still stumbling about, looking for someone to run against President Obama. After vastly outspending his opponent, frontrunner Mitt Romney managed to eke out a victory in his home state. And it was over an all-but-demonstrably certifiable opponent. That's not good. So the "GOP Establishm ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2012

    Fear Not: Rick Perry Is Considering Running Again for President in 2016

    The GOP presidential primary has had a lot less laughs since Texas governor Rick Perry dropped out. Sure, the idea of Newt Gingrich or Rick Santorum being president is pretty funny, but without Perry there's just something missing. Great news, then: Perry has told ABC News he is considering running ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 19, 2012

    Rick Perry Quits: Five Months Of Comic Greatness Down The Drain

    He'll always have Iowa​When Rick Perry first announced his intention to be the leader of the free world back in August, we were gleeful at the comic possibilities his race would begin. Alas, the free world, or at least that part of it that isn't rabid Tea Party frothers, didn't want Perry. H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 19, 2012

    Rick Perry's Decisions Prove Fast Food Is Better Than Jogging

    Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race today, finally coming to grips with a reality most had accepted on his behalf four months ago. In doing so, he proved conclusively an important point: Fast food is better for you than jogging. At least when it comes to decision-making. After faring a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2012

    Comment of the Day: A Rick Perry Supporter Baffled By Whole "Sarcasm" Concept

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2012

    Texas's Sonogram Law Gets New Lease on Life

    The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals struck down the temporary injunction on Texas's so-called sonogram law, clearing the way for abortion providers to enforce the new mandate. The law, championed by Senator Dan Patrick, requires a sonogram whenever a woman seeks an abortion. The law requires the wom ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2012

    Rick Perry Nearly Doubles Buddy Roemer's New Hampshire Vote in Impressive Show of Strength

    The Rick Perry juggernaut continued to lay waste to GOP primary opponents, neatly dispatching former Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer in Tuesday's New Hampshire primary. Perry grabbed 1,735 votes in the Granite State, almost doubling the 920 votes received by Roemer, who had been perceived as the f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2012

    Rick Perry Thinks This Picture Will Convince You He's Not Crazy to Keep Running

    After a huge thumping in Iowa, where $6 million bought him just 10.3 percent of the vote, Our Governor Rick Perry said he was coming back to Texas to reassess whether God made a mistake in telling him to run for the Presidency. This morning he tweeted, "And the next leg of the marathon is the Palme ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2011

    Gay Rick Perry: The Rumors Resurface

    Ready for your Kindle.​Kick a man while he's down, why don't you? Rick Perry has effectively taken himself out of the GOP nomination race, it seems, and he did it by his performance on the stump, not by skeletons in the closet coming out. But now that he's seemingly buried, former state rep ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 13, 2011

    Rick Perry's "Politically Incorrect" Ad: Other Things You're Not Allowed to Say

    Rick Perry has a new TV ad up in Iowa titled "Politically Incorrect." "Washington is the capital of political correctness, where doublespeak reigns and the truth is frowned upon," he says in it. "You can't say that Congressmen becoming lobbyists is a form of legal corruption. Or that we give aid mo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2011

    Comment of the Day: The Rick Perry Catch-22

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 10, 2011

    Pop Rocks: Perry Is Done. Would He Have Been Worse Than These Movie Presidents?

    You've probably seen it by now, but just in case you haven't, here's the precise moment Governor Rick Perry's campaign went irrevocably into the toilet: Anyone anticipating a long, drawn-out embarrassment of primaries and caucuses will be disappointed. As will those of us anticipating at least an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 10, 2011

    The Rick Perry Dumb-Quote Random Generator: UPDATED

    ​Just when you think Rick Perry has said all the dumb things he possibly can, he goes and ignores his own best advice and gets in another debate. This calls, of course, for an update to the Houston Press Rick Perry Dumb-Quote Random Generator. Keep on clicking to get a new example of the wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2011

    Comment of the Day: We Are Really Sick

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2011

    Rick Perry Makes Blow Job/Glory Hole Reference

    Rick Perry preparing for his turn in the barrel.​Apparently thinking the GOP presidential primary needed a sexual element beyond Herman Cain's alleged history, Rick Santorum's googleness and Newt Gingrich's sequential wives, Rick Perry has added his little bit. Which consisted of referencing ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Drink More, Rick Perry

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2011

    (Drunk?) Rick Perry Somehow Provides an Opportunity to Update Our Dumb-Quote Random Generator

    Rick Perry has finally found a way to overshadow the "Rick Perry gay" google searches, which yield about 5 million results. In just one day, "Rick Perry drunk" has rocketed to 12.9 million results. Yay? Anyway, Perry's now-legendary speech in New Hampshire provided an opportunity to update our ra ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2011

    Rick Perry, Not At All Drunk In New Hampshire

    Live free or die, man. This video was first highlighted by Mother Jones, whose Tim Murphy called it "the strangest Rick Perry video I have ever seen (which is a pretty long list)." Weird? Our man Rick is just enjoying the Friday flow, baby. Especially after the 2:20 mark. Is Willie Nelson about t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2011

    Rick Perry Throws In The Towel On the Confederate-Flag License Plate

    The South shall not rise again on Texas plates​Who said Rick Perry running for president wouldn't bring any benefits besides hilarity? Thanks to his decision to go for it, Texans will not be subjected to Confederate flags on their license plates. The Texas Tribune first noticed that Perry to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2011

    Rick Perry "Brothers" Up Herman Cain

    We watched the GOP debate last night, all of its glorious jaw-dropping moment after jaw-dropping moment. Analysis seems to indicate Rick Perry did better, but to us he came across as peevish, ill-prepared and flailing. In other words, like Rick Perry in a debate. We did love his criticism of Herma ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2011

    Unimportant News: Rick Perry Places "Friendly World Series Wager." Important News: He Puts a Period in Dr Pepper!!!

    NO PERIOD, Governor.​If your state has a team in the World Series, chances are your governor is going to make a silly bet with a cohort from the other league. So it's no surprise Rick Perry has a bet with someone called Jay Nixon, who we are reliably informed is the governor of Missouri. And ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 13, 2011

    Rick Perry, Master Debater: The Movie!

    And introducing Rick Perry as Rick Perry​The critics have been pretty much in agreement on Rick Perry's performances in GOP presidential debates, and they have not been kind. Texans, on the one hand, aren't surprised; on the other, they could be, since they so rarely got a chance to see Perr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2011

    Rick Perry's Unique American Revolution Analysis: Best Twitter Responses, and Our Dumb-Quotes Random Generator Is Updated

    Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economyRick Perry last night did what most presidential candidates do after sucking again in a debate -- he went to a frat house. In explaining to the Beta Theta Pi boys his views of governance, Perry said that the American Revolutio ... More >>

  • News

    October 6, 2011

    Miracle Faker

    Rick Perry is right: America can learn from Texas. He's just wrong about what the lesson is.

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2011

    "Homescholers For Perry": NOT Photoshopped, In Case You Were Wondering

    Every week or so, since Rick Perry entered the GOP presidential primary, we've gotten an e-mail from someone wanting to know whether our semi-famous "Homescholers for Perry" picture was photoshopped. Usually, it's because they are trying to refudiate a claim from some Perry supporter that the image ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 5, 2011

    Rick Perry's Texas Mirage

    Rick Perry is raising impressive amounts of cash and, even though he's stalled a biit in the polls lately, has been largely successful in promoting the storyline that he's an anti-government tax-cutter who has seen a business and job boom in his home state. It's a record that doesn't stand up to sc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 28, 2011

    Video: Hanukkah-Loving Rick Perry Dances Around the Menorah

    It's not nearly as bizarre as Tom Delay's appearance on Dancing With the Stars, but this video of Governor Rick Perry celebrating Hanukkah with a group of orthodox Jewish rabbis, intentionally or otherwise, is damn funny if for no other reason than Perry is trying his best not to look really, really ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 28, 2011

    Five Reasons Why Perry's Attempt to Block Negative Social Media Content Is a Bad Idea

    Controlling negative publicity is tough business in the modern world. Virtually everything is caught on tape -- good and bad -- and the Internet provides the ideal place for opposition. From anonymous commenters to bloggers to people on social networking sites, it is impossible to prevent negative c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Rick Perry the Gunslinger: Report Released from Brady Campaign on Perry's Gun Record

    Rick Perry the Gunslinger​Governor Rick Perry's love of guns has been well documented and he is more than happy to share his thoughts on the matter, particularly when it comes to killing a coyote on a morning jog and his affinity for laser sights on his weapons of choice. In Texas, loving you ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2011

    Rick Perry Gets Roasted Over Debate Performance -- By Conservatives

    Rick Perry sucked last night, pundits agree​If you're going by the the opinions of the rightwing talking heads and pundits who fill up Fox News airspace, then Rick Perry had a terrible debate last night and the bloom definitely seems to be off the rose. Maybe it's the drought. Politico, the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2011

    Rick Perry's Top 10 "Oh Faces": A Soundtrack

    mysanantonio.comGig 'em!​Once again, Texas is front and center on the national political stage, our spokesman an almost cartoon-like embodiment of every Lone Star stereotype: Fast-talkin', gun-lovin', bible-thumpin', boot-wearin', oil-worshipping, death penalty happy, larger-than-life right-wi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2011

    Gun-Control Group Gives Rick Perry Great Boost (Among Gun Nuts)

    WHAT? Rick Perry opposes gun-control laws?​The Brady Campaign, perhaps the nation's most prominent gun-control group, has just given Rick Perry a big ol' helping hand in the GOP primaries. They've released a report called Gunslinger: Rick Perry's Reckless Record on Guns, highlighting his reco ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2011

    Rick Perry: Maybe "Ponzi Scheme" Isn't the Slogan to Win the White House

    New poll suggests the answer is "no."​Yes, Public Policy Polling is a Democratic outfit, but nevertheless their new poll released today has some interesting tidbits. "In just three weeks Barack Obama has nearly doubled his lead over Rick Perry," said Dean Debnam, PPP president. "That would se ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 12, 2011

    Comment of the Day: More Fodder for the Rick Perry Dumb-Quote Generator

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2011

    Rick Perry's Inevitable Taiwanese-Video Treatment

    You knew it was coming.​We're going to be honest here -- the whole Taiwanese-video thing never really grabbed us, but what little attraction it had faded a long time ago. Our infatuation with Hitler Downfall dubs lasted longer. But we realize some people still get a kick out of these, so here ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2011

    Dumb Things Rick Perry Says: The Random Generator

    Fun for the whole family​Is Rick Perry the sharpest tool in the shed? It is a matter of some debate. Perry, like many Texas politicians, has a habit of speaking his mind, which can be occasionally deemed an unfortunate trait. It can be difficult to keep up with all the wisdom Perry has gifte ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2011

    The Rightwing Attack Ads Coming Against Rick Perry

    Rick Perry is generally not a man to be out-rightwinged, but he may see an attempt in the GOP primary. He'll keep citing his Limbaugh-Tea Party bona fides, but there are ways for opponents to put doubt, if not fear, into the hearts of voters considering him. Here's how four attack ads from the rig ... More >>

  • News

    August 18, 2011

    Praying with Perry

    Readers on The Response

  • Blogs

    August 18, 2011

    The Sales-Tax Holiday: The Odd, Inscrutable List of What's Taxed and What Isn't

    Not considered school supplies.​Tomorrow begins the tax-free holiday weekend, aimed mostly at parents of school kids even though some schools, like Houston ISD, have been open for a week. As always, the state has issued official lists of what gets taxed and what doesn't. And as always, those ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 16, 2011

    Doesn't Rick Perry Know Cursive?

    ​We've seen more Rick Perry autographs lately than we have in a long time, because basically we had never seen one before. So we were unaware that his autograph resembles a third grader's. Didn't they teach cursive in Paint Creek?

  • Blogs

    August 11, 2011

    Five Reasons Why Texas A&M Needs to Elope to the SEC

    ​Hey, Texas A&M and the Southeastern Conference: Get a room already! Then get married or whatever because this idle flirtation, which has been going on for years, is getting tired. For the past few weeks, a potential move by A&M to the SEC has become a hot topic, especially after the A&M Boar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 11, 2011

    Let the PerryMania Begin!!

    It's twue! It's twue!​Everyone is reporting it: Rick Perry's spokesman says he will announce his intent to run for president this weekend. The suspense is over!! It looks like he'll announce it in visits to the early primary states of South Carolina and New Hampshire, according to the Associ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2011

    Pop Rocks: The 5 Prayers We Didn't Hear at Perry's Rally

    Rick Perry has forgotten the riddle of steel.​As you may be aware, Governor Rick Perry held a prayer rally last Saturday at Reliant Stadium. Dubbed "The Response" (and redubbed "Prayerapalooza" by some, or "Reliant's Preseason Concession Test Run" by us just now), the event attracted some 30,0 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2011

    Prayerapalooza: Our Slideshow Of The Response

    Photo by Groovehouse​Do you feel better now? If not, it's your fault, because Rick Perry and 30,000 attendees of The Response prayed their hearts out for you today. We have a slideshow of the event here; our Craig Hlavaty tweeted throughout and we'll have his report soon.

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2011

    VIDEO: The Response At Reliant Stadium With Rick Perry And A Packed House

    While I put together my thoughts from the day, be sure to check out my Twitter stream, which acted as my reporter's notebook of my Saturday at Reliant Stadium. For now, check out these two clips I took from the floor of the stadium. It was a packed house for sure, even with a portion of the place ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2011

    Comment of the Day: TexasSparkle?

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2011

    Rick Perry in College: Getting C's in Just About Every Course You'd Want a Potential President to Do Well in

    Cushing Memorial Library and Archives, Texas A&M University via Texas TribuneA gentlemen's C​Rick Perry has made no bones about the fact that he wasn't the most studious college student, and a transcript obtained by the Huffington Post bears that out. Among the courses Perry got a C or lower ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2011

    Gov. Rick Perry May Have Used Taxpayer Dollars To Promote "The Response", Says ACLU

    Photo by Mandy OaklanderReverend Barry Lynn and Terri Burke are protesting The Response​Diversity-minded, Constitution-abiding folks are pissed at tomorrow's one-day Jesus camp called "The Response." Governor Rick Perry, of course, is the belle of the ball. It's a little complicated since he' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 4, 2011

    How To Celebrate The Day Of Debauchery & Gluttony (Plus: Oh Noes! TexasSparkle Doesn't Like Us!)

    In case you can't make it....​The Houston Chronicle's TexasSparkle, perhaps the nation's most insightful and trenchant right-wing blogger, or perhaps not, takes us to task today for daring to be "hypocritical" about Rick Perry's Prayerapalooza. Her compelling argument: President Obama talks a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 3, 2011

    Perry's Prayerapalooza: Let the Downsizing Begin (Also: Worst Fast Ever)

    The responee to The Response has been underwhelming.​Rick Perry's famous call for the nation's governors to come to Houston this weekend to pray and fast is looking more and more like a mistake to all but the religious right. Of course, if he's looking to win a GOP primary, he may just get by ... More >>

  • More >>
Loading...