Rick Santorum

Palin, Santorum, and Perry Remind the NRA Convention of America's Greatness, and that Greatness Comes from a Gun

There was a point in Rick Santorum's history lesson, a point in the former Pennsylvania senator's spiel last Friday about the horrific transition President Obama has yet in store for America, when the 20,000-strong audience at the 2013 NRA Convention sat perfectly silent. Bathed in blue flood-light, ... More >>

Where Have All Our Heroes Gone?: The Four Saddest Fallen Idols of Our Generation

When we're kids, we'll look anywhere for idols and role models. Most often, we look to pop culture and we find our heroes there by way of idolizing whoever's work we enjoy the most. We copy them in the worst ways. We adopt their style of dress, their opinions on music, their viewpoints on the world ... More >>

Sarah Palin Visits Chick-Fil-A in The Woodlands, Presumably to Hate On the Gays

Mike Huckabee did it. Rick Santorum did it (I don't mean having his last name irreversibly associated with a rather disgusting by-product of certain sexual acts). And now Sarah Palin has done it...in Texas. All three politicians have recently gone out of their way to promote Chick-Fil-A, in what so ... More >>

Upset of the Century: Team Cleavage Falls To Team Modesty In Texans Cheerleaders Bout

Where is Howard Cosell when you need him? "Down goes Team Cleavage! Down goes team Cleavage! Down goes Team Cleavage!" It's at least as big an upset as Joe Frazier getting decked by George Foreman. We told you earlier that many of the finalists to become a Houston Texans cheerleader clearly fell ... More >>

Rick Santorum & Rick Perry: A Tale of Two Also-Rans

Sad, sad news today for anyone looking to take America back to the 1920s: Rick Santorum is dropping out of his heroic presidential run. Sure, Mitt Romney has taken enough war-on-woman wingnut stands to carry the banner, but has he ever gone to such Santorum lengths as to declare all contraception ... More >>

Forget Etch-a-Sketch: Vintage `60s Toys For Newt, Obama & Rick

A spokesman for Mitt Romney stepped in it this week when he cited the 1960s toy Etch-a-Sketch when discussing how easy it would be for his candidate to pivot, issues-wise, from appealing to the rightwingers of the GOP primary to the more centrist voters in the general election. It was a bad metapho ... More >>

The Rick Perry Comeback Continues: A Shocking Update to the Chart Mitt Romney (& Abortion-Lovers) Doesn't Want You to See

The pundits have declared that there was no clear winner Super Tuesday, except for President Obama. This so-called "analysis" ignores the reality that yesterday's vote demonstrates: The Rick Perry Comeback continues to soar. We showed you the amazing chart indicating Perry's dramatic momentum afte ... More >>

Montrose, Meet Your New Congressman: Ted Poe, Homophobe

It looks like Texas just might finally have a redistricting map, after several tries. If this one goes through, Montrose will be represented by...Ted Poe. Now, it's not like the neighborhood has been represented by a GLBT-friendly rep prior to redistricting; John Culberson is a hardcore rightwinge ... More >>

In Other News, LMFAO Is Big Enough To Play Toyota Center Now

So this past week I was in Las Vegas for a friend's bachelor party. Standard dude stuff: Plenty of gambling, embittered ATM withdrawals, inordinate amounts of cursing, and the ever-present din of LMFAO at most every turn. I think at one point I heard their "Sexy And I Know It" in the restroom of th ... More >>

Bayer Aspirin Between Gals' Knees For Contraception? Now These Old Bayer Ads Make Sense

Foster Friess, the big-bucks donor to Rick Santorum's presidential hopes, went on TV talking about contraception today, because that is the most pressing issue facing the country. "Back in my day, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that cos ... More >>

Fear Not: Rick Perry Is Considering Running Again for President in 2016

The GOP presidential primary has had a lot less laughs since Texas governor Rick Perry dropped out. Sure, the idea of Newt Gingrich or Rick Santorum being president is pretty funny, but without Perry there's just something missing. Great news, then: Perry has told ABC News he is considering running ... More >>

Top Five Fantasy Lunch Mates

Driving home from work the other day, I found myself making a mental list. I wondered: Who would I have lunch with if time, money and social standing got thrown out the window? Would I pick an actor, singer, artist, politician? I established a few rules: 1- It can be anyone in history (no fictio ... More >>

Jack Donaghy Backs Romney: Our Favorite TV Characters Vote

The Republicans are whittling down now to the bare bones. Not to discredit anyone, but the race is basically Rom vs. Newt for the win. While we don't really miss the circus show that was the Republican Party just a few short months ago, at least we had more options. Now that we are getting down to t ... More >>

Tea Party Princess

Victoria Jackson went from the big leagues of comedy to the rabid right of modern politics.

Rocks Off Picks The GOP Theme Songs

​Now that the Iowa Caucus has narrowed down the field a bit, we would like to take this opportunity to offer some advice to the remaining candidates for the Republican nomination to vie with president Obama in the November election. What you guys need is some catchy theme songs, and we have so ... More >>

Proper Pronunciation and UT Fans

Googling Santorum: The Chron's TexasSparkle Makes a Horrifying Discovery

TexasSparkle is the highlight of the Houston Chronicle's "Anyone Can Blog" page. Kathleen McKinley is her real name, and she's a person who thinks Sarah Palin is a serious individual, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh make sense, etc., etc. Her bio says she is a "co-host [of] SmartGirlNation on FTRadio ... More >>

Rick Perry Makes Blow Job/Glory Hole Reference

Rick Perry preparing for his turn in the barrel.​Apparently thinking the GOP presidential primary needed a sexual element beyond Herman Cain's alleged history, Rick Santorum's googleness and Newt Gingrich's sequential wives, Rick Perry has added his little bit. Which consisted of referencing ... More >>

Rick Perry "Brothers" Up Herman Cain

We watched the GOP debate last night, all of its glorious jaw-dropping moment after jaw-dropping moment. Analysis seems to indicate Rick Perry did better, but to us he came across as peevish, ill-prepared and flailing. In other words, like Rick Perry in a debate. We did love his criticism of Herma ... More >>

Michele Bachmann's Slavery-Pledge Fracas: UH Gets Drawn In

The Colbert ReportGet More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video ArchiveGOP Presidential superstar Michele Bachmann recently took time out from her constant anti-gay missteps to mess up in a new area: slavery. She and Rick Santorum have signed a "Family Leader" pledge ab ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Alternative Songs for the 2012 Candidates

Please god, no.​Poor Michele Bachmann, first the John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy thing, now Tom Petty's piling on as well: The inaugural music-related strike of the 2012 presidential race comes from Tom Petty, who issued a cease and desist letter to Michele Bachmann's campaign to get her to stop ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Songs In The Key Of [Presidential] Fail

Please god, no.​Poor Michele Bachmann, first the John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy thing, now Tom Petty's piling on as well: The inaugural music-related strike of the 2012 presidential race comes from Tom Petty, who issued a cease and desist letter to Michele Bachmann's campaign to get her to stop ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Trump's Out -- Bridging the 2012 Asshole Gap

Now we'll never know what his currency would have looked like.​With apologies to Richard Adams: My heart has joined the Thousand. Donald Trump stopped running today: "After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the presidency," Trump announced in ... More >>

Rick Santorum Coming To Houston To Rebut JFK, Constitution

Rick Sanotrum -- defined as "a deep thinker" by UST, as something else by Dan Savage​Fifty years ago, then-presidential candidate JFK delivered a historic speech on the separation of church and state to the Greater Houston Ministerial Association. As the first Catholic candidate for president,&nbs ... More >>

Losers Win

Unholy Matrimony

Dubya would be aghast at Here Come the Brides

Got It, Flaunt It

Those campaign donations aren't buying yard signs and pamphlets