Rio Grande Valley

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2014

    State Attacks Whole Women's Health in Battle Over Anti-Abortion Bill

    Clinics continue to rail against the state's new abortion law in court, a law that has closed almost half the abortion clinics in Texas through more stringent facilities requirements and required hospital admitting privileges. Whole Woman's Health has closed clinics in Beaumont, McAllen and Austin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2014

    Perry Isn't Giving National Guard Troops Arresting Power, and That's for the Best

    As we continue to follow Gov. Rick Perry's quest to stay viable as GOP 2016 White House contender, we have to wonder how he has actually convinced himself that putting a whole bunch of armed people on the border is in any way a good idea.

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2014

    Surge in Undocumented Kids Linked to Cartel Activity, Says Texas Congressman

    By now you've heard about those hundreds and thousands of kids who are flowing over the border and causing what the president terms a humanitarian crisis. Some are blaming the Obama administration for leaving a loophole in its immigration policy that allows minors some time to find family and stick ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 6, 2014

    The Five Best Ways to See George Strait This Weekend

    George Strait trivia time: do you know the second-to-last place King George will have ever played as a regular touring artist? If you had the Dodge Arena in Hidalgo Thursday night, you win, but sadly we still can't help you get tickets to the grand finale tomorrow night in Arlington's AT&T Stadium. ... More >>

  • Culture

    May 1, 2014
  • Blogs

    February 6, 2014

    Soul Stars Charles Bradley, Laura Mvula Lead Early iFest 2014 Names

    The Houston International Festival has announced the first confirmed acts for this year's festival, which returns to the freshly renovated Sam Houston Park downtown April 26-27 and May 3-4. This year's spotlight country is Australia, but the first round has a heavy deep-soul tint. The one single ac ... More >>

  • News

    January 23, 2014

    Behave Yourselves!

    Let's all stop embarrassing Texas now, please.

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2014

    Let's All Stop Embarrassing Texas Now, Please

    Texas, we're starting to earn our reputation. When we look at the recent headlines out of Texas that have made national news, it's pretty easy to see why folks outside the Lone Star state think that we all ride our horses to work. Our antics are becoming the punch line for national jokes, and real ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 5, 2013

    Top Five Acts at ACL Festival, 10/4/2013

    ARCTIC MONKEYS I spent a good part of the mid-'00s torturing every passenger in my car with the Arctic Monkeys' album Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not on repeat. I still enjoy busting out that album (and my faux accent) to screech along with them. So needless to say, I was stoked to cat ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2013

    I-69 Signs Along I-59: No, It's Not a Clever Joke. Stop Giggling.

    Whenever I think of U.S. 59, I think of constant gridlock from Shepherd through the 288/I-45 interchange, the flat, treeless drive to Ft. Bend County and the piney woods of east Texas, in all its glory. It is a unique stretch of road that runs from Mexico well into Missouri. Oh, sure, it changes num ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 20, 2013

    Rockets Could Get a Lot Closer to the Playoffs Tonight

    It always shocks me that over the course of 82 games, teams could remain so close that it comes right down to the wire, yet, virtually every season, that is the case. With Portland and Dallas essentially falling off the map, there are five teams left fighting for the final four spots in the Western ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 19, 2013

    Stillborn Baby Delivered to Funeral Home Frozen in a Bucket, Lawsuit Says

    The parents of a stillborn child are suing a hospital after they say it delivered the child's corpse to a funeral home frozen in an open bucket. Maritza and Joel Lievanos sued Valley Baptist Health System over what the suit says is "the horrific experience of finding her son's body in a bucket." Th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2013

    Rockets World: Tough Loss, Royce White a Viper, Jeremy Lin Does ESPN (with Videos)

    It's been a strange week for the Rockets. They obliterated two Western Conference playoff contenders, tying an NBA record for three-pointers in one of the games, lost to the NBA champs and a really bad team on the road even if Jeremy Lin did drop a posterizing dunk during the game, saw the return of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2012

    Valley Man Caught Molesting Neighbor's Dog

    Last week a man in the Rio Grande Valley caught one of his neighbors trespassing in his kennel, diddling his dog. It happened last Tuesday in the town of San Juan. San Juan Police Department Sgt. Rudy Luna said Jose Angel Hernandez, 54, was spotted by the homeowner when he got up to feed his pooch ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Canadian Threat, Eh?

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2012

    Morrissey Postpones Remainder of U.S. Tour, Including Beaumont

    Morrissey's ailing mother has forced the singer to postpone his entire North American tour, according to promoter C3 Presents. The former Smiths front man and popular if mopey solo artist has already flown back to England to be with his mum. Earlier this week, several dates in the Midwest were post ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 16, 2012

    Mom Goes Undercover to Take Down Choir Teacher / Would-Be Facebook Child Predator

    A Rio Grande Valley middle school choir teacher was arrested after a mom caught him trying to arrange a sexual encounter with her 12-year-old daughter via Facebook. According to, the mom had allowed her daughter to have a Facebook page on the condition that she have total access ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 21, 2012

    Crystal Martinez, Alicia Martinez, and Tina Marie Trevino: Brownsville Women Accused in Beatdown, Sexual Assault of Love Rival

    UPDATED AFTER THE JUMP....Two Rio Grande Valley women were jailed and a third is on the run after police accused the trio of beating and sexually assaulting a woman who "stole" one of their boyfriends. According to, the trouble started Thursday night at a nightclub in Brownsville' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 14, 2012

    Gilberto Montezano: Valley Cop Avoids Jail After Shaking Down Motorist For Beer

    For the third time since August, a cop in the Rio Grande Valley town of Edinburg has been terminated and faced criminal charges for varied forms of corruption. In the most recent case, in April of last year, 30-year-old Gilberto Montezano pulled over a truck driven by Miguel Guzman and evidently to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 17, 2011

    Seven Arrested With 1,600 Pounds of Pot

    No Mary-Louise Parker, just a lot of dudes​Seven men have been arrested and 1,600 pounds of weed taken on the northwest side of town, the U.S. Attorney's Office says. The men had transported the weed from the Rio Grande Valley to the 13200 block of Reeveston. They unloaded it there and re-loa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2011

    She-Male Porn Pics Come to Fore in Valley Cop Election

    No comment.​A South Texas county constable election turned smutty last week when one candidate texted his opponent several graphic images of "she-male porn." Cameron County Precinct 4 Constable Robert Lopez was on the receiving end of the chicks with dicks images sent by electoral foe Joe Rod ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 18, 2011

    Drunken Wee-Hours Whataburger Drive-Thrus: A Proud Texas Tradition

    I'll take a Whatachicken with fries and a large vodka.​Shamefully, all too many of us have been there: out in the bars since happy hour, it's now a quarter-past closing time. We stagger to the car and suddenly remember we haven't eaten a thing other than beer nuts since lunch. Hunger cuts thro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2011

    Texas Catfight Videos: Ferocious Filmed McAllen Brawl Bests Beaumont Battles

    Well, Beaumont, your reign as Capital of Texas Catfights was short. Not ten days after the wide publicizing of the long-running BMT Brawlz series of DVDs and the debut of the now nationally-infamous Chuck E. Cheese Throwdown, a new champion has emerged. After you see it, we think you'll agree with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 16, 2010

    Anthony Ray Ferrell, The Good Samaritan Killer: Third Escapee From His Halfway House In 20 Months

    Photo courtesy HPD Victim Sam Irick and his alleged killer Anthony Ray Ferrell​The man charged with killing a Good Samaritan during a purse-snatching is the third person to escape the same state-contracted halfway house in the last 20 months.Anthony Ray Ferrell had fled a "halfway house in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2010

    Linda Rosales and Jessica Rosales: Fail In Scheme To Use Kid's Breath To Fool Breathalyzer

    Cameron County SOLinda Rosales: Where's mother's little helper?​We've all been there before: we've driven to a party and gotten shit-faced. And then we've been faced with a dilemma: How best to get you and all your kids home?It's especially hard when the damn law has ordered that your car be fitte ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2010

    Maria Ipina: Valley Cops Say Toddler Caught Peddling Weed Door-to-Door

    First rule, kid: Don't take nothing but cash​Even the most grizzled cops in the Rio Grande Valley town of San Juan say this is a new one for them, and that's saying something.They say they have had to remove a four-year-old girl from her home after neighbors complained that the pre-kindergartener ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2010

    Illegal Immigration: What Bikini Babes Have To Say About It

    But those damn aliens can't read English!!!​ The controversy over immigration into America has been discussed ad nauseam on TV, op-ed columns and books, but it is perhaps best dealt with via the medium of bikini-babe posters.At least that's the thinking of one Alan Sessarego, of Gettysburg, PA. Se ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2010

    Jesus Campos, Daniel Garcia and Julio Cantu: Valley Gang Fails Attempted Crime Spree

    The Fail is strong in these younglings​You'd think the three Rio Grande Valley teenagers might have realized it wasn't their night after their second attempt at an armed robbery failed. You would underestimate the persistence of this Borderlands gang that couldn't shoot straight.Fail #1: It all st ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2010

    Minutemen Get Their Wish: Tomorrow Will Be A "Day Without Mexicans" In The Valley

    The Valley gets ready for a reprise of this​We're guessing this isn't going to work out as hoped: The chambers of commerce of several Mexican border towns are calling on residents to stay out of the U.S. tomorrow.That'll teach Arizona to pass a restrictive illegal-alien law, is the thinking. On th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2010

    Valley Weekend Mayhem Proves God, Intoxicants, And Knives Don't Mix

    Photo courtesy Hidalgo Co Sheriff's Office​Catholicism, knives, and intoxicants proved to be a potent stew in two incidents in and around the Rio Grande Valley town of Edinburg over the weekend. One is kind of funny... When Hidalgo County police found 20-year-old Agustin Casanova hiding in a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 19, 2010

    Big Brother Is Watching You Buy Cellophane

    ​Police in the Rio Grande Valley have a new tactic in the war against pot smugglers: staking out office supply stores. In three cases since last November, suspects have been followed after making large purchases of cellophane. Here's more on the most recent case, from U. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2009

    Valley Of Viagra And Vengeance: Did Septuagenarian Sex For Pay At Edinburg Adult Day-Care Lead To Two Deaths?

    Note: Any resemblance to actual Pride and Joy nurses is coincidental. And highly unlikely.​Maybe there's a little too much Viagra coursing through the Rio Grande Valley these days. How else is there to explain this crime of passion at the Pride and Joy adult day care center last week in Edinburg? ... More >>

  • Dining

    June 18, 2009

    Not So Clear Cut

    What are you really eating when you order fajitas in a Tex-Mex restaurant?

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2009

    Pittsburgh/Arizona Fusion Cuisine: Fried Bologna Migas

    Not that I'm thinking about theme food for a football game or anything, but what about this for an inspired Rust Belt/Sun Belt fusion dish? My family is from Pittsburgh, so I associate the foods I ate in my youth with the Iron City. And I ate a lot of fried bologna and scrambled eggs. My father, w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 16, 2008

    Squeeze Play: Texas Valley Lemons

    I always buy a sack of Valley lemons along with my red grapefruit on the way home from the Lower Rio Grande Valley during the citrus season. The not very tart lemons are wonderful to cook with. But I was never quite clear on the botanical details. "Valley lemons are a cross between a lemon and an or ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2008

    An Algae Farm Near The Ship Channel? Why The Hell Not?

    You know what the Ship Channel area needs?Besides a whole lot less pollution, we mean.It needs a good farm. An algae farm, in fact. That's the thinking of a Nevada company, which has announced plans to build a 20-acre algae farm near the Channel if it can get some financing from the federal governem ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2008


    The long arm of Rio Grande Valley justice has reached out and nabbed....Dick Cheney? Yes, apparently. A grand jury has indicted the vice-president this afternoon. Hasn't the stature of limitations passed on "accidentally" shooting innocent bystanders? It turns out that it's not the shooting, it's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2008

    Friends Don't Let Friends Buy Guns For Friends

    Residents in the Rio Grande Valley are about to be hit with some stern lecturing, via the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms and the Southern District's U.S. Attorney's Office. "Don't Lie For The Other Guy" is the catchy slogan for a campaign designed to stop "straw purchases" of guns -- when so ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2007

    All in All It’s Just Another Brick

    This just in: South Texas officials are calling for a wall to be built around Washington, D.C. After being told by federal officials that a fence along the border with Mexico is just what the area needs to protect itself against terrorists, drug smuggling and illegal immigration, they are urging Was ... More >>

  • News

    May 31, 2007

    Border Fence May Destroy Wildlife Habitat

    U.S. Fish and Wildlife services spent $80 million to reclaim wildlife habitat in South Texas. Now Homeland Security is ready to wipe that out.

  • Blogs

    May 30, 2007
  • News

    December 7, 2006


    Foreign pickers aren't getting through the post-9/11 barricades to harvest U.S. crops

  • Calendar

    July 27, 2006
  • Calendar

    July 6, 2006
  • Calendar

    May 26, 2005

    Dang, You've Got Skills!

    Show 'em off at a midnight screening of Napoleon Dynamite

  • Dining

    January 15, 2004


    Two little restaurants serve up “Houstonized” Chinese food

  • Dining

    October 16, 2003

    Cancún Cuisine

    Take a little trip to Cascadas Cantina y Restaurante

  • Music

    August 21, 2003

    Cattle Call

    Boozing with a few aggrieved bad seeds at the American Idol audition

  • Dining

    September 28, 2000

    Mama's Got a Brand-new Bag

    Mama Ninfa brings home fajitas

  • Dining

    March 16, 2000

    Hot Plate

    La Flor Taqueria

  • More >>