Rio Grande Valley

What the Ice Ages Couldn’t Finish Off, the Feds May

All in All It’s Just Another Brick

Friends Don't Let Friends Buy Guns For Friends

DICK CHENEY INDICTED!! (Kinda)

The long arm of Rio Grande Valley justice has reached out and nabbed....Dick Cheney? Yes, apparently. A grand jury has indicted the vice-president this afternoon. Hasn't the stature of limitations passed on "accidentally" shooting innocent bystanders? It turns out that it's not the shooting, it's ... More >>

An Algae Farm Near The Ship Channel? Why The Hell Not?

You know what the Ship Channel area needs?Besides a whole lot less pollution, we mean.It needs a good farm. An algae farm, in fact. That's the thinking of a Nevada company, which has announced plans to build a 20-acre algae farm near the Channel if it can get some financing from the federal governem ... More >>

Squeeze Play: Texas Valley Lemons

I always buy a sack of Valley lemons along with my red grapefruit on the way home from the Lower Rio Grande Valley during the citrus season. The not very tart lemons are wonderful to cook with. But I was never quite clear on the botanical details. "Valley lemons are a cross between a lemon and an ... More >>

Rock and Roll Royalty

Gina Haley carries the name of a rock founder, but she'd rather make it on her own

Pittsburgh/Arizona Fusion Cuisine: Fried Bologna Migas

Not that I'm thinking about theme food for a football game or anything, but what about this for an inspired Rust Belt/Sun Belt fusion dish? My family is from Pittsburgh, so I associate the foods I ate in my youth with the Iron City. And I ate a lot of fried bologna and scrambled eggs. My father, ... More >>

Numbers Man

The interim U.S. attorney is hustling small-time cases through the courts

Still Stumbling

Houston Chronicle faces the Hispanic community and anchor confustion

Immigration: The Boss Nun

Cubans at a Rio Grande Valley shelter say Sister Margaret is taking advantage

Brutal Harvest

Cubans at a Rio Grande Valley shelter say Sister Margaret is taking advantage

Ballet Aid

Cubans at a Rio Grande Valley shelter say Sister Margaret is taking advantage

Border Fence May Destroy Wildlife Habitat

U.S. Fish and Wildlife services spent $80 million to reclaim wildlife habitat in South Texas. Now Homeland Security is ready to wipe that out.

Shorthanded

Foreign pickers aren't getting through the post-9/11 barricades to harvest U.S. crops

Dang, You've Got Skills!

Show 'em off at a midnight screening of Napoleon Dynamite

Who's Your Daddy?

Track your true identity along a DNA trail left behind by your ancestors

Cheap Shots

A new film exposes the ugly deeds of legendary Texas heroes

No Virgins, No Velvet

An MFAH show and a crop of new galleries are redefining what Latino art is supposed to look like

Sino-Tex

Two little restaurants serve up “Houstonized” Chinese food

Cancún Cuisine

Take a little trip to Cascadas Cantina y Restaurante

Cattle Call

Boozing with a few aggrieved bad seeds at the American Idol audition

Letters

Boiled by Oil, Try Gas Station Work, Rollin' with Ralph

Mama's Got a Brand-new Bag

Mama Ninfa brings home fajitas

Hot Plate

La Flor Taqueria

Not So Clear Cut

What are you really eating when you order fajitas in a Tex-Mex restaurant?

Big House on the Hill

Casa Grande, the Tex-Mex restaurant on a cliff above I-45 is a truly offbeat spot to eat nachos and dance salsa.

Valley Of Viagra And Vengeance: Did Septuagenarian Sex For Pay At Edinburg Adult Day-Care Lead To Two Deaths?

Note: Any resemblance to actual Pride and Joy nurses is coincidental. And highly unlikely.​Maybe there's a little too much Viagra coursing through the Rio Grande Valley these days. How else is there to explain this crime of passion at the Pride and Joy adult day care center last week in Edinburg? ... More >>

The "Circus Superstar" With The Foul-Smelling Menagerie, Part 1

​While Caroline Wedding has only been running the Marion County Humane Society for about three years, she has already been on plenty of animal-cruelty raids, and has helped find better homes for hundreds of dogs, cats and exotic birds. Still, she thinks it's unlikely she will ever come across some ... More >>

Big Brother Is Watching You Buy Cellophane

​Police in the Rio Grande Valley have a new tactic in the war against pot smugglers: staking out office supply stores. In three cases since last November, suspects have been followed after making large purchases of cellophane. Here's more on the most recent case, from Valleycentral.com. U. ... More >>

Valley Weekend Mayhem Proves God, Intoxicants, And Knives Don't Mix

Photo courtesy Hidalgo Co Sheriff's Office​Catholicism, knives, and intoxicants proved to be a potent stew in two incidents in and around the Rio Grande Valley town of Edinburg over the weekend. One is kind of funny... When Hidalgo County police found 20-year-old Agustin Casanova hiding in a ... More >>

Minutemen Get Their Wish: Tomorrow Will Be A "Day Without Mexicans" In The Valley

The Valley gets ready for a reprise of this​We're guessing this isn't going to work out as hoped: The chambers of commerce of several Mexican border towns are calling on residents to stay out of the U.S. tomorrow.That'll teach Arizona to pass a restrictive illegal-alien law, is the thinking. On th ... More >>

Stoner Follies: Adan Toca, Apparent Cheech and Chong Fan, Is A Stoner's Favorite Ice Cream Man

Photo courtesy Mission PDA guy named Toca does weed. Go figure​Whoever said life imitates art was no liar. What's funny is how often life in Texas can imitate "high" art - namely Cheech and Chong movies. Take this tale, from Mission in the Rio Grande Valley... This Tuesday, a 34-year-old man na ... More >>

Jesus Campos, Daniel Garcia and Julio Cantu: Valley Gang Fails Attempted Crime Spree

The Fail is strong in these younglings​You'd think the three Rio Grande Valley teenagers might have realized it wasn't their night after their second attempt at an armed robbery failed. You would underestimate the persistence of this Borderlands gang that couldn't shoot straight.Fail #1: It all st ... More >>

Illegal Immigration: What Bikini Babes Have To Say About It

But those damn aliens can't read English!!!​ The controversy over immigration into America has been discussed ad nauseam on TV, op-ed columns and books, but it is perhaps best dealt with via the medium of bikini-babe posters.At least that's the thinking of one Alan Sessarego, of Gettysburg, PA. Se ... More >>

Maria Ipina: Valley Cops Say Toddler Caught Peddling Weed Door-to-Door

First rule, kid: Don't take nothing but cash​Even the most grizzled cops in the Rio Grande Valley town of San Juan say this is a new one for them, and that's saying something.They say they have had to remove a four-year-old girl from her home after neighbors complained that the pre-kindergartener ... More >>

Tiffany Young-Hartley: Plot In Mexican Lake Pirate Murder Thickens As Body Proves Hard To Find

Tiffany Young-Hartley: Questions​October certainly came in like a lion for residents of the Rio Grande Valley. On October 1, news broke of the alleged murder of an American jet-skier on border-straddling, allegedly freshwater-pirate-infested Falcon Lake. A recap for those who don't want to clic ... More >>

Linda Rosales and Jessica Rosales: Fail In Scheme To Use Kid's Breath To Fool Breathalyzer

Cameron County SOLinda Rosales: Where's mother's little helper?​We've all been there before: we've driven to a party and gotten shit-faced. And then we've been faced with a dilemma: How best to get you and all your kids home?It's especially hard when the damn law has ordered that your car be fitte ... More >>

Texas Foodies and Chefs Secede from Dixie: The Texas Food Alliance Fundraiser at Armadillo Palace

Photos by Jeff Balke​While the mighty ice sculpture with the Foodways Texas logo slowly melted amid it all, rivers of St. Arnold's and Dripping Springs vodka / Rio Grande Valley ruby red grapefruit juice cocktails flowed. The Catalan corned beef sliders, Goode Company baked oysters, shrimp cor ... More >>

Anthony Ray Ferrell, The Good Samaritan Killer: Third Escapee From His Halfway House In 20 Months

Photo courtesy HPD Victim Sam Irick and his alleged killer Anthony Ray Ferrell​The man charged with killing a Good Samaritan during a purse-snatching is the third person to escape the same state-contracted halfway house in the last 20 months.Anthony Ray Ferrell had fled a "halfway house in ... More >>

Mexicans Determined to Shop in U.S. Charter a Plane

The only way to shop​Look, up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a group of Mexican nationals trying to fly over the drug cartel violence in the northern part of their country to get to stores in McAllen, Texas. As the amount of gunfighting and unease continues to mount in Mexico an ... More >>

Texas Catfight Videos: Ferocious Filmed McAllen Brawl Bests Beaumont Battles

Well, Beaumont, your reign as Capital of Texas Catfights was short. Not ten days after the wide publicizing of the long-running BMT Brawlz series of DVDs and the debut of the now nationally-infamous Chuck E. Cheese Throwdown, a new champion has emerged. After you see it, we think you'll agree with ... More >>

Oscar Gonzalez Jr.: Valley Teacher in Hot Water After Marriage to Lolita Turns Sour

The Grand Plaza, in all its grandness​Just in time for the run-up to Valentine's Day comes this tale of romance vengeance from the Rio Grande Valley... In April of 2009, love bloomed in a science classroom at Economedes High School in Edinburg. The girl, named "Ms. G" in the police reports th ... More >>

Drunken Wee-Hours Whataburger Drive-Thrus: A Proud Texas Tradition

I'll take a Whatachicken with fries and a large vodka.​Shamefully, all too many of us have been there: out in the bars since happy hour, it's now a quarter-past closing time. We stagger to the car and suddenly remember we haven't eaten a thing other than beer nuts since lunch. Hunger cuts thro ... More >>

Robert Alvarez: TV-Star Gang Cop Accused of Inmate Sex, Abuse of Power, Theft

If the producers of the History Channel's documentary series Gangland are to be trusted, Edinburg police investigator Robert Alvarez was one of the top cops in the Rio Grande Valley. The 47-year-old was tapped as a starring talking head in Gangland's episode on the Tri-City Bombers, the Valley's mos ... More >>

Alleged McAllen Starbucks Masturbator Immortalized in Song

Jose Maravilla, celebrated in song​In the borderlands of South Texas, there has long been a tradition of immortalizing revolutionaries in song. Corridos, as these tunes are known, date back to the decades before the Mexican Revolution, and have been written in honor of people like Emiliano Zap ... More >>

She-Male Porn Pics Come to Fore in Valley Cop Election

No comment.​A South Texas county constable election turned smutty last week when one candidate texted his opponent several graphic images of "she-male porn." Cameron County Precinct 4 Constable Robert Lopez was on the receiving end of the chicks with dicks images sent by electoral foe Joe Rod ... More >>

Seven Arrested With 1,600 Pounds of Pot

No Mary-Louise Parker, just a lot of dudes​Seven men have been arrested and 1,600 pounds of weed taken on the northwest side of town, the U.S. Attorney's Office says. The men had transported the weed from the Rio Grande Valley to the 13200 block of Reeveston. They unloaded it there and re-loa ... More >>

Cirilo Castillo, Jr: Accused of Multiple Counts of Horse Sex

themonitor.comCirilo Castillo: Hide yo' sheep, hide yo' mares, he (allegedly) rapin' everthang 'round there​If the comment sections of Rio Grande Valley newspapers are any indication, Hidalgo County is regarded as something of a rustic backwater by its more urbane neighbors. Stories like this ... More >>

Patricia Aguilar: Juvenile Probation Officer Busted for Blowing Boot Camp Cadet

Cameron County JailPatricia Aguilar: Boy bragged to friend, friend made outcry to cops.​For one delinquent Rio Grande Valley juvenile, a sentence to boot camp was transformed into a ticket to a dream hummer holiday. Somehow we don't think this was what the juvenile criminal justice system ha ... More >>