Roger Clemens

Here's Elton John In an Astros Jersey In 1986

Today, Houston Astros pitchers and catchers started returning to Kissimmee, Florida, for spring training in anticipation (and somewhat fright) of the 2013 season and their debut in the American League. Rewind: Rockin' Houston Site Is a Glorious Monument to Local Concerts Past In honor of baseba ... More >>

25 Ways to Replace Jim Deshaies; You're Welcome, Astros!

As you know by now, Jim Deshaies has left the Astros, and is joining the Chicago Cubs broadcasting crew. In many ways, that's like making the jump from AAA to the majors since WGN is seen nationally while Comcast Sports Net Houston is seen just about nowhere. Now with Deshaies gone, the Astros are h ... More >>

Texans-Saints: 4 Winners, 4 Losers (The Trindon Holliday Conundrum Edition)

If you are a sports couch potato (and if you are reading this, chances are that is the case), Saturday night was one of those nights that we probably take for granted all of the technological advances that allow us to consume all of the fare on the sports buffet simultaneously. Picture if you will, ... More >>

Roger Clemens Joins The Skeeters, And You Know What That Means? PROP BETS!!

"I'm going out there to have fun, try and stay healthy and see where it goes. I'm not going to be too far away from the game of baseball." -- Roger Clemens, 8/21/12 And just like that, Roger Clemens is back in our lives. For the last four years, the only glimpses we've gotten of Roger have been in ... More >>

Roger Clemens vs. Government, Round 2: Another Mismatch

"Andy Pettitte is my friend. He was my friend before this. He will be my friend after this and again. I think Andy has misheard," Clemens said. "I think he misremembers." -- Roger Clemens in front of Congress, February 2008 If you've been following the ongoing trial of Roger Clemens for perjury cha ... More >>

ESPN Headlines -- Sex, Lies, And Shrunken Testicles

It's a bad news day when you're hoping for stories on barry Bonds' shrunken balls​"I see trees of green ... red roses too I see em bloom ... for me and you And I think to myself ... what a wonderful world." -- Louis Armstrong Clearly, Louis Armstrong would have never made it as a sports fan ... More >>

Five Very, Very Scary Houston Sports Halloween Costumes

Drayton doesn't TP your house, he covers it with advertising​Halloween is getting ever closer, and you're still undecided on your costume?If you live in Houston, there are some choices available sure to strike terror, horror or sickening dismay into anyone who dares open their door to you.Like the ... More >>

1 In 5 Texas Republicans Support Secession; 1 In 5 Texans Support Roger Clemens

Roger Clemens: Texas does not have your back​Public Policy Polling is a respected firm that recently did a survey on the governor's race and other political matters.They threw in some other questions, too, and found some intriguing results. A full 21 percent of Texas Republicans support secession, ... More >>

Game Time: A Follow-Up E-mail To Brian Cushing

Brian Cushing and Elton John: Soulmates​Brian: Let me get right down to business. I am actually sending this e-mail as a follow-up to my open letter to you on Monday of this week, and frankly, I'm kicking myself that I actually sent you an open letter. I mean, who the hell sends letters any ... More >>

Mindy McCready Knows NOTHING About That Tape Where She Spoke Of Roger Clemens' Small, Limp Penis

Mindy McCready, who has both lived and sung country songs, is apparently feeling some heat over the sex tape in which she allegedly screws someone energetically and then, in an interview, discusses the ins-and-outs (or lack thereof) of having sex with Roger Clemens.Her attorney, a Nashville lawyer w ... More >>

One Performance-Enhancing Drug Roger Clemens Apparently Didn't Take: Viagra

​Come on, it's been too long since you thought about Roger Clemens and country singer Mindy McCready having sex. Luckily, Fox News has an EXCLUSIVE report on a new sex tape featuring the hard-livin' McCready.Not a tape with Clemens; it's with a boyfriend named "Peter." Explicit sex, rated XXX, Fox ... More >>

Shoulda Stayed Away: The 10 Worst Comebacks Of The Decade

​The Oughts, or whatever the hell people are going to call them (The Hell Years?) Are quickly drawing to a close; meaning it is a time to reflect on the 10 years that we've endured.Hair Balls and our sister blogs, Rocks Off and Eating...Our Words, will be putting together various lists delineating ... More >>

The Rocket Strikes Out Again In Court

Photo by MACSURAKTeam Rocket lost another battle in court today as Federal District Court Judge Keith Ellison reaffirmed his ruling from earlier this year that dismissed most of Roger Clemens's defamation suit against Brian McNamee. The portions of the suit that had been dismissed dealt with Brian M ... More >>

Top Ten Sports Moments of 2008

10. Danica Patrick won the Indy Japan 300 to become the first woman to win a major (NASCAR, Indy, Formula One) auto race. 9. Atlanta Braves pitcher Tom Glavine won his 300th game, then retired at the end of the season, to just about cement his selection into the Baseball Hall of Fame in five ye ... More >>

Top Ten Sports Moments of 2008

10. Danica Patrick won the Indy Japan 300 to become the first woman to win a major (NASCAR, Indy, Formula One) auto race. 9. Atlanta Braves pitcher Tom Glavine won his 300th game, then retired at the end of the season, to just about cement his selection into the Baseball Hall of Fame in five ye ... More >>

Mindy McCready's Regrets, In Chart Form

Country singer Mindy McCready has confessed to Inside Edition that her years-long adulterous affair with Roger Clemens “is not something I’m proud of.” He treated me like a princess," she said. “We never had a meeting in secret. We went on vacations together. We went to Palm Springs. We ... More >>

Mindy McCready's Regrets, In Chart Form

Country singer Mindy McCready has confessed to Inside Edition that her years-long adulterous affair with Roger Clemens “is not something I’m proud of.” He treated me like a princess," she said. “We never had a meeting in secret. We went on vacations together. We went to Palm Springs. We ... More >>

John Royal Takes a Little Break

We Now Present... Steroids, The Musical

Steroids and Roger Clemens: Jose de Jesus Ortiz Hits a New Low

Get Lit: Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and the Battle to Save Baseball, by Jose Canseco

Steroids and Roger Clemens: Justice Department to Investigate Rocket

Steroids, Roger Clemens and Congress: Bust Out the Razor

Steroids, Baseball and Roger Clemens: Rocket and Brian McNamee Appear Before Congress Today

Steroids and Clemens: Roger Dodges Congress, Throws Debbie Under the Bus

Roger Clemens and Steroids: George Mitchell, Rusty Hardin, Brian McNamee, Kirk Radomski, Jim Murray, Andy Pettitte…Damn, This Shit Is Like a Soap Opera

Steroids and Roger Clemens: Another Lie Uncovered

Chevron Houston Marathon

Runners from around the world will challenge the race’s course records

Clemens Press Conference Primer

Creationism, Food Not Bombs, Fake Panhandling

Texas may okay creationism degrees

John Royal’s Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part One

Steroids in Baseball: Ken Caminiti, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Jason Grimsley, Gregg Zaun, Ron Villone, Chris Donnels, Miguel Tejada and Stephen Randolph

MLB Playoffs: Finding Even More Religion on the Baseball Diamond

Getting Rogered, Once Again

Getting Rogered

Getting Rogered, Again

Buff Dudes

Sorry. No Houston Here.

Roger Clemens and Clay Aiken Are Both Totally Overrated

Bet You Didn't Even Realize He Was Gone

Chillin' with tha Eskimoz

We have a Whatachat with the guys behind the fast-food rap video

Getting Rogered

The soap opera continues

He's Ours, Dammit!

Back to Busch

The Astros' first five NLCS games, as they happened

Game Four: A Bitter Sweep Ending

The Astros� attempt to win without scoring somehow fails

Answering the Musical Question

Wesley Willis's ghost in the machine pays rock 'n' roll tribute to notorious Houstonians

Fun with Guns

Have a blast at the Lone Star Shoot

Know Your Astros! Quiz

Curses Again

God, Drayton and dogged Astros fans awake from another World Serious dream

Best Area Team