Ryan Seacrest

Drenched In Blog: Tranny Time with Devendra Banhart

Super Bowl TV: What to Watch Before the Big Game

Kentucky Derby vs. Stanley Cup

American Idol Returns Tonight... Yawn

Come back Kelly Clarkson, all is forgiven... If you've been lucky enough to spend the past several months in a media-deprivation tank - or maybe you just don't read the Houston Chronicle - then you no doubt know Fox's shrill-singing flagship series American Idol returns tonight at 7 p.m. (As ... More >>

Idol Beat, Part 1: More Hollywood Week

Photos courtesy FoxYou thought the funeral was over? You thought all those tears were dried up? You were wrong, my friends - so very, very wrong. Aye, verily, the bloodletting continued unabated as Hollywood Week wound down. Hey, Ryan Seacrest warned us at the outset: "The stakes are as high ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Final 13

Ray Mickshaw/ Fox Paula liked the way Scott McIntyre handled his instrument.Tonight's theme? "Michael Jackson Night." Thus, a lot of tears (and no lack of cruel laughter) are pretty much guaranteed - and the King of Pop won't even be there! * Ryan Seacrest outsources announcing duties to som ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Ten Results

Photos by Frank Micelotta/ Fox Songs in the Key of Idol: Stevie Wonder performs Thursday night.I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Try not to break out into a toothy, mile-wide grin while watching Stevie Wonder command a stage, loop-de-looping through a handful of his zillions of classics in t ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Nine

Fox Scott McIntyre: Don't go changin'...Remember last week's requiem for the Sarvernator? Turns out that Anoop - Season 8's Great Dork Hope - is in the same damn leaky boat: a phenom before the judges, a lamestain when serenading America. His put-on Usher turn last night cemented his unworthy ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Eight

Photos by Michael Becker/ Fox Front runner: Adam Lambert, American Idol's likely last man standing.Long before being voted in as California's current governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in a popular sci-fi action movie called Predator. The specifics of the plot aren't important, but the u ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Eight Results

Photos by Frank Micelotta/ Fox Guests of the Sheik: Flo Rida and his "harem."First things first: in yesterday's Idol Beat, I made reference to how excited I was for Idol Gives Back, a wildly successful annual event/trainwreck wherein the program brings a ton of celebrities on in an effort to ... More >>

Kathy Griffin

How D-list is this?

Il Communication

How D-list is this?

Best Local Girl Made Good

How D-list is this?

Gut Buster

The sun is shining on Ralphie May, and he's making hay

Idol Beat: The Top Five

That Jamie Foxx, right? A Rennaisance man if there ever was one: the guy's a comedic genius (see In Living Color; tons of flicks), a big-screen leading man, credible action star, R&B champion - plus, as it turns out, he's a natural at mentoring American Idol hopefuls. I wouldn't have figured on ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Four Results

Photos by Ray Mickshaw/ FoxNo More Pencils: Slash (right) took American Idol's Final 4 to school Wednesday night. "Who will graduate from the school of rock? And who will just get schooled?" Ryan Seacrest asked, rhetorically, at the beginning of Wednesday night's episode of American Idol. We wondere ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Three Results

Photos by Frank Micelotta/ Fox Homeward Bound: Danny Gokey's exit didn't prompt a whole lot of tears."I think we've had enough suspense, enough commercials - let's just get to it." This is what Danny Gokey told Ryan Seacrest, and, by proxy, America. We were in agreeance - Wednesday night's s ... More >>

Halloween Countdown: How Best To Go For The `90s-Nostalgia Look

Halloween is coming, and that means many, many costuming mistakes will be made by normally sane adults. To help stop this scourge, each Thursday we will be offering tips and analysis of what to avoid, or possibly what to do. Check out past entries here and here. If VH1 has taught us nothing else, it ... More >>

This Week In TV: Joss Whedon Is A Free Man

It's been nice knowing you, Dollhouse. Now how about that Serenity sequel, Whedon?​It's way too cold outside, I can't believe I'm back at work, and I've already braved one after-Christmas sale. This was the week in TV Land: • I watched the finale of The Sing-Off. That's how little there was ... More >>

This Week In TV: The Return of 24 and American Idol, Fox's Advertising Revenue

It's the middle of winter, we're about to get new shows, and this is the year I make contact. This was the week in TV Land. • So, New Year's happened. This was my first year not to ring it in with a regular party of friends who get dangerously drunk and watch the ball drop on Telemundo. But my ... More >>

Idol Beat: Here We Go Again...

Last night's guest judge: a bobblehead doll Victoria Beckham​I've never watched a whole season of American Idol before, but that's a minor detail. Actually watching this show doesn't seem to be necessary to know as much about it as the most devoted fans: Amateur singers judges = quasi-drama. ... More >>

American Idol: It Begins

Last night's guest judge: a bobblehead doll Victoria Beckham​I've never watched a whole season of American Idol before, but that's a minor detail. Actually watching this show doesn't seem to be necessary to know as much about it as the most devoted fans: Amateur singers judges = quasi-drama. ... More >>

Pop Rocks: American Idol -- What The Hell Is Wrong With You People?

​The ninth season of America's national karaoke showcase -- also known as American Idol -- premiered last Tuesday. The show that has contributed such legends as Jordin Sparks and Taylor Hicks to the world of music continues to chug along in spite of the absence of original judge Paula Abdul and th ... More >>

Idol Beat: Orlando Is Far from the Magic Kingdom

​Last night's American Idol was the fourth audition episode of Season 9 (and if you think we're almost done with the cattle-call phase, you are in for a broken heart). I cannot stress enough the unreality of the show and the brilliant way it uses editing to mess with the viewer's concept of time. ... More >>

American Idol: Orlando Is Far from the Magic Kingdom

​Last night's American Idol was the fourth audition episode of the ninth season (and if you think we're almost done with the cattle call phase, you are in for a broken heart). I cannot stress enough the unreality of the show and the brilliant way it uses editing to mess with the viewer's conce ... More >>

Idol Beat: Hell Hollywood Week Continues

"Welcome back to Hell Week," Ryan Seacrest intoned at the top of last night's American Idol. It's pretty ballsy for a singing competition show to compare itself to SEAL training, since I'm pretty sure none of these kids will be carrying logs or dealing with being drowned. But that's just what Holl ... More >>

American Idol: Hell Hollywood Week Continues

"Welcome back to Hell Week," Ryan Seacrest intoned at the top of last night's American Idol. It's pretty ballsy for a singing competition show to compare itself to SEAL training, since I'm pretty sure none of these kids will be carrying logs or dealing with being drowned. But that's just what Holl ... More >>

Glee: Tonight At McKinley High School: Everyone Gets Laid

​It's fitting that the Madonna episode would feature not one, not two, but three cherry popping story arcs: Rachel deciding to give herself to Jesse, Finn submitting to Santana's years of experience, and Emma peeling off the cardigan for Will. That only one of the three actually went through w ... More >>

Beaumont Weatherman Busts Rhyme; Ryan Seacrest Approves

​ Somebody call Swishahouse. Rocks Off has spent a fair amount of time in the Golden Triangle over the years, and the live-music options in the greater Beaumont-Port Arthur area are usually somewhat limited. In the next couple of weeks, for example, if you're not a fan of Pat Green, hillbilly hard ... More >>

What Rhymes With Anahuac? We Ask The Rapping Weatherman

Nick Kosir, Beaumont's Rapping Weatherman, has a posse​We wrote about Beaumont's rapping weatherman Nick Kosir last week, and as we mentioned then, we weren't the first to do so. ESPN2's Sports Nation, The Huffington Post and the ever-illustrious Ryan Seacrest have all recognized Kosir for his ... More >>

Day Of The [Digital] Dead

No! Not...that guy!​Yesterday was the 23rd annual World AIDS Day, dedicated to raising awareness about HIV/AIDS and remembering those who have succumbed to the disease. It's a sobering occasion. Over 25 million have died of the disease since 1981, and some 33 million live with the infection n ... More >>

Looking to Ring In the New Year at a Restaurant?

chicagofoodwhores.com​Sick of lame parties and crowded bars and a night that rarely lives up to its billing? Can't bear the thought of another New Year's Eve with Ryan Seacrest? Need a place to grab a bite before hitting the dancefloor? It's been a hard year, Houston. Why not ease your way i ... More >>

Idol Beat: Here We Go Again...

​Finally, after months of anticipation (or dread, depending on your pain tolerance), the new and *cough* "improved" American Idol made its debut. At long last we can start to put an end to the speculation about the show's 10th season: will Jennifer Lopez out-diva Ryan Seacrest? Can the show su ... More >>

Idol Beat: Viva Nash Vegas

​I was randomly scrolling back through past Idol Beats last night, doing my best to ignore mentally unbalanced dental hygienist Christine McCaffrey's butchering of "I Hope You Dance," when I realized something. The American Idol beat for Rocks Off is basically the Defense Against the Dark Arts ... More >>

Idol Beat: Austin, So Much To Answer For

​Rocks Off would like to apologize for last week's outrageous behavior by Pete Vonder Haar. He has been warned, and assures us he will never compare Marc Anthony to an extra from Dawn of the Dead again. Steven Tyler dropped an F-bomb on this week's audition episode, which definitely warrants ... More >>

Idol Beat: I Am The Smartest Man Alive

​Sure, I admit it: I felt like an idiot calling my shot yesterday and putting all my money on Ashley Sullivan, only to watch her melt down during the final Hollywood round. What a fool I was, I thought, there's no way the judges will pass her after that utter mental breakdown. No. Way. Never ... More >>

Idol Beat: I'm About To Have A Nervous Breakdown

​My head really hurts...sorry, after last night's shenanigans, I couldn't help breaking out the Black Flag. Have you ever had one of those really bad nightmares, the kind that is so horrifying it wakes you up multiple times during the night? And even though your subconscious is trying to offe ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Dirty Two Dozen

​The fallout from Jennifer Lopez's Wednesday night freakout only ate up about ten minutes of last night's show. At least, that's how much it looked like as I was fast-forwarding my DVR. You've got to hand that much the producers of American Idol, they can milk even the most trivial of incident ... More >>

Idol Beat: Some Girls

​I missed most of last night's introduction because I was still trying to get my head around how they're going to milk tonight's selection show for two freaking hours. American Idol is just another example of domestic ineffeciency: take what should be -- at best -- a thirty minute program and ... More >>

Idol Beat: Brought To You By The Church Of Scientology

​I thought I imagined it at first, or was suffering the onset of hallucinations brought upon by sleep deprivation, strong drink, and three consecutive nights of watching Steven Tyler undress the audience with his eyes. But for maybe the first time since Season 10 of Idol began, I actually rewo ... More >>

Idol Beat: The First Of The Fallen

Fox​American Idol, the show that dares answer the question: "Who or what the hell is 'Diddy Dirty-Money?'" Ryan Seacrest kicks the show off by introducing our "beloved finalists," and I couldn't help but think of Rick's line from Casablanca ("They're not particularly my beloved finalists"). T ... More >>

Idol Beat: Detroit, Shlock City

​In spite of Idol Beat's absence last week (I was undergoing treatment for nose hemorrhoids), Fox's karaoke juggernaut steamrollered on, topping the ratings once again for Wednesday and Thursday night. Last week's casualty, MySpace's Karen Rodriguez, wasn't much of a surprise. I mean, the bili ... More >>

Idol Beat: Mass Hysteria!

​Shock! Outrage! Shenanigans! Casey Abrams voted off! Last night, American Idol had all the signs of the Apocalypse rolled into one (all the Ghostbusters ones, anyway). Dogs and cats living together? Well, James Durbin is like a big puppy dog, and Pia has a certain cattiness about her. Check. ... More >>

Idol Beat: Mona Lisas And Mad Haleys

​Hans Gruber: You are most troublesome, for a security guard. John McClane: Eeeh! Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change? It's double jeopardy of a sort for the remaining 11 Idol hopefuls, because thanks to the judges' save of Cas ... More >>

Idol Beat: Told You So

​Admittedly, I didn't think she'd go this quickly, but I always knew Pia was toast. I said as much last week when discussing the stranglehold pre-adolescent female voters have on the show. Why else have only three females made the top five the last three seasons? Was Lee DeWyze really better t ... More >>

Idol Beat: Not So Fast, Five

Winter is coming... Wait, wrong show.​Dear American Idol: I don't like you - I think that's been pretty well established at this point - and I know you don't like me, otherwise you wouldn't still be dragging along for 90 minutes on Wednesday even though there are only five contestants left, a ... More >>

Idol Beat: Haley Freezes Over

Suspenders with heels? What were you thinking?​In addition to going on the Idol tour, one of the "perks," if you want to call it that, of making it to the Top 13 or whatever is that you get to come back and sit in the audience during the final selection. I only point this out because of the nu ... More >>

Ryan Seacrest Begets a Music Festival... And The Apocalypse

Mason Lankford said, "There will come a day when we forget the Rapture ever even happened," but Rocks Off is keeping an eye out for signs of our impending Armageddon. We were wrong last time, but we're totally right this time! Jyle Dupuis​Ryan Seacrest is a towering figure in the entertainmen ... More >>

Justin Bieber, Britney Spears Tweeting to Help Houston Family

Das Bieberino is on the case!! Justin Bieber, Britney Spears and other celebrities (and some wanna-be celebrities) are tweeting in support of Houston kids whose parents were killed in a West texas car crash. Two of the three Berry children are paralyzed from the waist down. ​

The X Factor: A Host, A Pussycat Doll & A "Creep"

​As I settled in to watch The X Factor last night, my husband asked me, "Who is that British guy?" and I said, "Um, that's Simon Cowell, honey. From American Idol? A show we watched for like, five years?" And my husband said, "Um, no, the other British guy - the host." And then I was all, "The ... More >>