Subject: Santa Claus

• Zach Galifianakis Is King of the Bears

  July 27, 2007

• John Royal's Christmas Wish List

  December 16, 2007

• Sanity Claus: Separating Holiday-Music Gifts from Seasonal Disorders

  December 22, 2007

• Bubba Roese, the Mayor of Graball, Speaks of BBQ

  May 27, 2008

• A Nut for Nostalgia

  Houston Ballet's Nutcracker has nothing new to say, but it's fun anyway

  December 5, 2002

• Slideshow: HEB Thanksgiving Day Parade in Downtown Houston

  Low-riders, art cars, SpongeBob, Santa Claus, D-list celebs, marching bands, stick-fighting Sikhs and plump Shriners in souped-up go-carts -- where else could it be but the HEB Thanksgiving Day Parade? And although we lack quality photographic proof -- amazingly, even Sheila Jackson Lee was there. Seriously!

  November 28, 2008

• Black Santa for Black Friday

  If there's one thing we know for sure, it's that The Man wants to control every aspect of American culture - including how we celebrate Christmas. The Man made Jesus white, even though J.C. was born in the mid-east. The three wise men? White, white, and white. Frosty the Snowman? Yup, you guessed it. But Jeffery Bradley, owner of Dallas-based NetNia Publishing, has drawn the line at Santa Claus. So he created Black Santa. As Bradley writes on blacksantamagicletters.com, "One day I was searching

  November 28, 2008

• An Hour in Sunny 99.1's Holiday Hell

  Band Aid: Do they know it's Christmastime at all? Most people I know hate Sunny 99.1, but not me. And I should really hate it. Any radio station supported by the American Dental Association has to suck. But every time I listen to it, I either hear something so corny and half-baked that I can't turn back to the Ipod. It's like pouring liquid Valium in my ears. I don't have to worry about hearing the same Nirvana song I've heard for the past fourteen years, like on the Buzz. Nor do I get to hea

  December 2, 2008

• What's Not To Like About Hanukkah? Lots

  Christmas is approaching, which means it's time for gentiles the country over to condescendingly recognize the existence of one of the least significant Jewish holidays - the frustratingly spelled Hanukkah.While it's certainly nice to wish others well during their respective holidays, Hair Balls believes Hanukkah needs to be kept in perspective - and by perspective, we mean, people need to come to terms with how lame it is compared to Christmas. Lest you think that's a harsh statement, one must

  December 3, 2008

• Santa Claus Round-Up: The Galleria Stop

  This and every Christmas season the most important person is the baby Jesus, with a bearded, white-haired toy factory owner coming in a close second. Every year we flock to the malls to sit in our kids down on Santa's lap. Sometimes they run off screaming, while others take to the old guy just like they would an elderly relative. Santa Claus Roundup: The Galleria -- December 8, 2008, 7pm I'm standing next to Santa Claus and I don't know what to say. His red cheeks and flowing beard are overpower

  December 9, 2008

• Five Christmas Movies Guaranteed To Get Rid Of Unwanted Guests

  Holiday season is in full swing, and soon our homes will be filled with family members we've been successfully avoiding for the last 11 months, many of whom will wear out their welcomes before their Members Only jacket hits the pile on the bed. We in the media may be secular humanists with no regard for traditional family values, but we can still sympathize with your plight. Use this list of room-clearing Christmas movies sparingly.5. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) Take my word for it, it's

  December 16, 2008

• Tonight: Gentleman Auction House at Rudyard's

  Lauren Winchester Within about 20 seconds of "A Banner Year," the opener of Gentleman Auction House's new Christmas In Love EP, the St. Louis indie-pop hydra has managed to recall Belle & Sebastian, Arcade Fire and another dozen or so boy-girl bands that are equally earnest and invigorating. In words, the seven-piece's (though only two play on this song) Velvet Underground/Yo La Tengo fuzz-candy is pretty damn addictive. In declaring themselves too cool to celebrate Christmas, people unde

  December 10, 2008

• Retro Active: The Five Best '80s Christmas Songs

  Christmas seems to activate a latent part of all musicians' brains that inspires them to spread their holiday cheer all over a perfectly good season. (The scientific term for this part of the brain is called "My Accountant.") Musicians in the '80s were certainly not exempt from this need to whip out their yule logs, and, as with most things back then, the results were often mediocre and pastel-colored. However, there are a few Christmas songs from that decade that were notable for either th

  December 11, 2008

• Santa Round-Up Part Three: At Least When You're Done Juggling Quadruplets, There's A Beer Waiting

  This and every Christmas season the most important person is the baby Jesus, with a bearded, white-haired toy factory owner coming in a close second. Every year we flock to the malls to sit in our kids down on Santa's lap. Sometimes they run off screaming, while others take to the old guy just like they would an elderly relative.Santa Round-Up: First Colony Mall ---December 15, 2008 8pmI had never met a Santa Claus that I wanted to have a beer with before. But Santa John over here in Sugar Land

  December 16, 2008

• Retro Active: The Five Worst '80s Christmas Songs

  OK, sure, the truly worst '80s Christmas songs are doubtlessly "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and Band Aid's (above) "Do They Know It's Christmas?" But everyone knows this. However, there were many other holiday songs released during the '80s that nearly reached such heights of crapulence . BIlly Squier, "Christmas Is the Time To Say I Love You": It's hard to decide what's worse about this clip: Is it the drunken MTV staffers who display their outright disdain for the concepts of mel

  December 18, 2008

• Dueling Santas

  November 24, 1994

• Sound Check

  November 28, 1996

• Press Picks

  December 11, 1997

• The Insider

  July 23, 1998

• Santa's Selves

  December 24, 1998

• Ho, Ho, Ho

  February 11, 1999

• SPECIAL YEAR-END EDITION

  December 25, 2008

• Santa Baby

  What a few musicians want under their trees this year

  December 25, 2008

• The Best Christmas Album of 2008 is... Metal?

  December 18, 2008

• Very Merry Pops

  Fa-la-la-la-la-ha-ha-ha-ha!

  December 11, 2008

• Cinema Bomar: “Hazardous Holiday”

  Web exclusive!

  December 11, 2008

• Jean Eustache: Film as Life, Life as Film

  The MFAH presents a ten-day celebration of the bold French director

  October 16, 2008

• What the Dickens?

  The Masquerade Theatre's Scrooge is haunting -- for the wrong reasons

  November 27, 2003

• Less Is More

  Historic homes are dressed up in holiday decorations appropriate to their time

  December 6, 2001

• Bribes in the Soviet Union, Jesus Christ on PBS and Gavin Newsom at La Strada

  March 13, 2008

• Miracle 34th Street

  November 29, 2007

• Festival of Lights/Polar Express in 4D

  November 15, 2007

• “Seasons of Sharing”

  Children’s Museum of Houston explores holiday traditions from around the world

  November 15, 2007

• Our top DVD picks for the week of December 14

  December 14, 2006

• Why do Mexicans swim with their clothes on?

  The Mexican replies

  July 13, 2006

• Horse Flesh

  Texas struggles with what to do with its overabundance of Equus caballus, while Europeans wait with open mouths

  April 13, 2006

• Our top DVD picks for the week of October 4

  October 6, 2005

• Merry Christmas, Beeyotch!

  Forget caroling. Here are a few hip-hop jammy-jams to warm your yule log.

  December 16, 2004

• Horrific Haikus

  Death-metal band names make for fun magnetic poetry

  September 2, 2004

• Shoot 'Er Up

  Even cowgirls get the booze in Slump's new Western musical

  August 5, 2004

• I'm Not Dreaming of a White Christmas

  No snow and no Bing for Racket

  December 18, 2003

• I Love My Calendar Girl

  Houston's got its own for every day of the year

  December 11, 2003

• To Beer or Not to Beer

  The Montrose Beer and Gun Club plays coy

  June 26, 2003

• All I Want for Christmas Is...

  A shopping list for your favorite political types

  December 26, 2002

• Xmas Marks the Spot

  A guide to new holiday discs, from surprise presents to Tannen-bombs

  December 19, 2002

• Beat It

  Only band fans need stand in the Drumline

  December 12, 2002

• Ho Ho Huh?

  Tim Allen drops another lump of coal down the chimney

  October 31, 2002

• Best Art Opening

  "Clown Town/Million Dollar Hotel"

  September 26, 2002

• Land of the Free

  "Made in USA" gives patriotism a twist

  July 11, 2002

• The Santa Express

  He was the perfect St. Nicholas. If he could just move faster.

  December 23, 1999