Sarah Palin

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2014

    Sarah Palin Rambles, Charms At Veteran Fundraiser

    For the 200 guests of the Mighty Oaks Warrior Foundation's annual gala, headliner Sarah Palin was a sparkly distraction from the stark statistics of soaring depression, suicide and homelessness among veterans -- problems the charity aims to defeat. The former Alaska governor and 2008 vice presiden ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2014

    Five Texas Politicians Who Should Have Palin-style Internet Shows

    We all thought Sarah Palin would be focused on seizing the White House, but this week she announced that she is seizing the internet. Carpe diem! Or something. Yep, the lovable former Alaska governor and infamous vice presidential candidate is offering herself up to the world via the Internet. You ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2013

    Palin, Santorum, and Perry Remind the NRA Convention of America's Greatness, and that Greatness Comes from a Gun

    There was a point in Rick Santorum's history lesson, a point in the former Pennsylvania senator's spiel last Friday about the horrific transition President Obama has yet in store for America, when the 20,000-strong audience at the 2013 NRA Convention sat perfectly silent. Bathed in blue flood-light, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2012

    Bye, Bye Rick Perry: How Ted Cruz Became Texas' Most-Important Republican -- and He's Not Even Elected!

    Rick Perry, it's so over. Sure, you've been fun. Hell, you've been great to us here at Hair Balls. Like that time you thought Solyndra, a solar company, was a country? Or, when you applauded George W. Bush for all his work defending us from freedom? Oh, man. That was a good one. And just recently wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 3, 2012

    This Week In Deliciousness: Stay Away From My Mountain Cabin

    Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've been eating store-bought rainbow sherbet inside various Chik-Fil-A's all week, but so far no one has said anything. It could be because their choice of food-obtaining venue isn't indicative of folks' general political leanings, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2012

    Ted Cruz: First Intellectual Tea-Partier Ever

    Last night, as we watched Sarah Palin bloviate on Fox News -- yes, doubtful reader, we do under highly unusual circumstances tune in to Fox News -- we were struck by something. Ted Cruz, compared to virtually every single Tea Party member on this green earth like Palin, is really damn articulate. Li ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2012

    Sarah Palin Visits Chick-Fil-A in The Woodlands, Presumably to Hate On the Gays

    Mike Huckabee did it. Rick Santorum did it (I don't mean having his last name irreversibly associated with a rather disgusting by-product of certain sexual acts). And now Sarah Palin has done Texas. All three politicians have recently gone out of their way to promote Chick-Fil-A, in what so ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2012

    Jack Donaghy Backs Romney: Our Favorite TV Characters Vote

    The Republicans are whittling down now to the bare bones. Not to discredit anyone, but the race is basically Rom vs. Newt for the win. While we don't really miss the circus show that was the Republican Party just a few short months ago, at least we had more options. Now that we are getting down to t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2011

    Football! The Weekend's Best Bets (w/ Token Palin & Brown Hand Guy Videos)

    Still dreaming of Glen?​In the quest to have my posts appear in the list of most viewed, certain weekly topics that I do have a ceiling. For example, this Friday post during football season where I give my best bets likely only appeals to a certain degenerate segment of society (despite how am ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2011

    Glen Rice Allegedly Slept with Sarah Palin (w/ VIDEO)

    Sarah Palin in her Michigan-fan days.​Okay, I'll admit that might have been the most duplicitous headline of a post ever, not because Sarah Palin and Glen Rice didn't sleep together (They apparently did, back in the late '80's. More on that in a minute) but because the "w/ VIDEO" would seem to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 1, 2011

    Sarah Palin Sneak Preview: The Agony of The Undefeated

    That word you keep using...​There was an advance screening last night of The Undefeated, the new film by Stephen K. Bannon that traces the rise of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin from her early years as mayor of Wasilla to John McCain's 2008 Vice-Presidential candidate to her new status as ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 27, 2011

    Rick Perry v. Sarah Palin 2012: The Scorecard In Five Key Areas, Including Wildlife-Killing Methods

    Sarah Palin kills moose from helicopters​Can you feel the excitement, people? It just might be possible that the 2012 GOP primary will feature a cagematch showdown between Rick Perry and Sarah Palin for the off-the-wall Tea Party constituency that can make or break a Republican candidate. Per ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 21, 2011

    This Week in Deliciousness

    Note: Beef jerky is best enjoyed in a t-top Firebird with .38 Special blasting from your stereo and your majestic mullet trailing behind you in the breeze.​Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've never yet pegged a rude waiter with a saltshaker from across the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2011

    The 10 Sexiest Texans Of Our Lifetime

    Texas is loaded with natural resources, among them beautiful women. The state has provided many, many gorgeous, sexy and smart women. To be sure, not all of them combine all of those qualities -- here are tradeoffs to be made -- but still, there's been no shortage in our lifetimes of fetching Texas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 20, 2010

    Sarah Palin, Twitter, Weezy Top 2010's Most Tired Stories

    Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Bun B, Kyle Hubbard, Fat Tony, Renzo, Brad Gilm ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2010

    Sarah Palin Follows In W's Book-Signing Footsteps

    Photos by Brittanie SheySee more photos of the Sarah Palin booksigning and protest in our slideshow.​She didn't quite draw the crowd (or the mass of security) that former President George W. Bush pulled for his booksigning a few weeks ago, but former Alaska Governor and Vice Presidential candi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 26, 2010

    The Mama Bear Returns: Palin Book Signing Monday at Borders

    Come see the softer side of Palin​Love her or hate her, Sarah Palin will not be ignored. We are living in an era when politicians and experts of all kinds inspire mistrust, and Palin presents herself as the ultimate outsider - just a regular American gal, hunting moose and being a "mama bear" ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2010

    Sarah Palin's New Show: Houston Blessed Enough To Get Sneak Preview

    Saah Palin having some "flippin' fun"​If you've been moping around saying you have nothing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, relax. You now officially have a reason to offer gratitude. There are a whole bunch of cities in the United States, right? (Yes, right.) Well, there are only eight ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 13, 2010

    Your Buzzword Is My Band Name, Part 1

    Friedrich Glorian via Flickr​It's a Google-rific society we be a-living in, and the fastest way to notoriety is to coin a phrase that, when Guantanamo Bayed safely between quotation marks in a search field, will bring up endless debate upon your win or fail. We have been blessed with some rea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2010

    Sarah Palin's In Town Tomorrow

    Comin' to town, without a "g"​If you've got any moose lying around, look out for low-flying helicopters: Sarah Palin is in town tomorrow.Palin, who briefly served as Governor of Alaska, will be speaking on behalf of Heroic Media, which places ads on TV, the web and billboards "to connect women fac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2010

    Odd Pair: Snickers Ice Cream Bar and Blanc de Blancs

    Cram some Snickers ice cream in your pie hole and follow it with a dry sparkling wine.​ Why is it that every year we forget just how miserable it gets in August? We must, otherwise, we'd have all moved to Alaska to bunk with Sarah Palin by now. Anyway, it's definitely ice cream weather and what' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 22, 2010

    Sarah Palin: Libs Hate Her Because She's Beautiful, Not Like That Michelle Obama

    The ugliness!! It BURNS!!!!​Texas Tech, that bastion of Americanism way out there in Lubbock, has done it again.This time they're not protesting a statue that allegedly features Commies and lesbians, nor are they linking tattoos to social deviance.This time, they're saying liberals hate Sarah Pali ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 21, 2010

    No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

    He's no Johnny Depp​Yesterday on the Rocks Off blog we unveiled the Lady Gaga sex doll, Lady Gag Gag. Comments were mixed on the doll, ranging from utter confusion and strange attraction from both sexes. One commenter claimed that the model on the box was even more attractive than the real G ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2010

    The 5 Best Satirical Twitter Accounts

    ​Probably the only good thing to come out of the Gulf oil disaster (other than the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader-style discovery that dog hair is super absorbent) is @BPGlobalPR.Satirical Twitter accounts -- created by anonymous users to mock and skewer public figures or celebrities -- have been ar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2010

    Sarah Palin Still Hassling Local DJ Shoe Latif

    Courtesy Shoe LatifThe ghost of Governor Palin is still knocking the crap out of Shoe Latif​A year ago we told you how local nightclub legend Shoe Latif had gotten crossways with Sarah Palin, back in that brief period when Palin was still governor of Alaska.Latif got an official cease-and-desist l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 19, 2010

    It's No "Get a Brain, Morans," But We Like It

    ​Congratulations to Houston Press photographer Bryan Williams, whose (in)famous pic from last February's Sarah Palin/Rick Perry rally now belongs to the ages, or the Huffington Post, as the case may be: Last year we set to work to find the funniest (whether intentionally so or not) protest si ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 12, 2010

    The Week In TV: So Long, Julia Sugarbaker

    Even with my dependable shows in reruns, it feels good to be back in the stern embrace of David Simon. This was the week in TV Land: • Thank God for Hulu, you know? The video site is the only reason I actually keep up with Saturday Night Live most weeks. The show's had a real hard-on for tweens ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2010

    This Week in TV: Shatner My Dad Says

    ​I'm confused by curling, ready for spring, and oh yeah: I got engaged. This was the week in TV Land: • There's a guy out there with a blog called "The Final Season of LOST as Seen by Someone Who Has Never Seen." I think it's missing a word at the end, but whatever. The whole gimmick is th ... More >>

  • News

    February 18, 2010

    You Heard It Here First

    The Press reported on the Prius long ago.

  • News

    February 18, 2010

    Sarahmania Hits Houston

    What did we learn?

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2010

    Five Things We Learned From Sarah Palin's Big Houston Visit

    Photo by Pete Vonder Haar​Houston was the epicenter of Palinmania this weekend, as her fans breathlessly awaited her appearances at a Rick Perry rally and some sort of motivational convention.There were many things to take away from the whirlwind visit of the woman who is ostentatiously keep ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2010

    She's Comin': Sarah Palin To Campaign With Rick Perry In Houston

    Photo courtesy Rick Perry campaign​Start droppin' yer Gs now!! Sarah Palin is a-headed to town, with a bucketfull of common-sense talk for all them hot-air artists up in Washington!!!Rick Perry's campaign announced today that Palin will appear with the governor in "the Houston area" February 7."I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 23, 2009

    This Week In TV: Oprah to Resign in 2011, World to End Shortly Thereafter

    Tom Cruise is not taking the news well...​The sun's back out, I'm ready for turkey, and I can't believe I sold my DeLorean to Mr. T. This was the week in TV Land: • So, Oprah resigned, but not really, or something. Just to make sure we all have time to prepare our families for the ritualist ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2009

    Midweek Match-Up: Tom DeLay Vs. Sarah Palin In The Battle Of The Quitters

    What is up with the Republican Party today? It's become a party of quitters.First, Sarah Palin ups and leaves her job as Alaska governor for reasons only she can discern. Then Tom DeLay throws in the white towel on Dance With The Stars, even as the nation was begging for him to continue making a com ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 7, 2009

    The Last Roundup: A Palin Resignation Playlist, Texas Heat Fizzles, Mathletes LP Release and More

    There's always that one thing that makes the week great, even though it's barely begun. This week, it comes courtesy of Houston Music Examiner David Sadof's three-part playlist for Sarah Palin's resignation. The Texas Heat Music Festival's goose was cooked, says 29-95. Thought things were slow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2009

    Before We Go: A Thousand Cranes, the Muses, Johnny Bush, the Old Quarter, Katy Perry, a Numbers Documentary and More

    The above cartoon - give it a minute; it'll show up - is somehow tied into Saturday's show at Avant Garden featuring A Thousand Cranes, How I Quit Crack and Metal Rouge. Rocks Off wishes he could tell you how, but he digs the Monty Python and the Holy Grail homage. Colorado traditional Celtic duo t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2009

    The Rockets, Joining The Pantheon Of Those Who Gave Up Surprising Momentum

    Hey, how'd those Rockets do last night?!Oh.In case you missed it, Our Rockets (and by "Our," we mean "team we started cheering for a week ago"), got shellacked by the Lakers 118-78. Everyone had expected the injury-riddled Houston team to lose like that -- in Sunday's game, which they had won.That ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2009

    Sarah Palin Takes On The Crackhos of Houston

    Photo by sskennelYou better darn-tootin' not hijack an official Web site from Sarah Palin's State of Alaska. Houston DJ and nightlife ne'er-do-well Shoe Latif recently found that out the hard way when she got a cease-and-desist letter from the flinty-eyed legal eagles in Palin's Attorney General's o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 26, 2009

    Judge Not The Two-Step, Lest Ye Be Judged

    Yeah, so we judged a Texas Two-Step dancing contest last night.That's pretty much the equivalent of Sarah Palin judging a Dance Salad festival, but we tried.You know it's bad when the only song you recognize in the half-dozen or so tunes in the warm-up is George Strait's "Love Without End, Amen, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 19, 2009

    Where To Indulge Your Obama-Mania In Houston

    No one's going to be getting much work done around 11 a.m. Houston time tomorrow.That, of course, is when John McCain will be sworn in as the nation's first old-white-guy President; assuming you're down from the amazing high of Sunday's Lee Greenwood/Hank Williams Jr. concert at the Mall, you'll wan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2008

    The Worst Lyrics of 2008: NCAA-Style Showdown

    And now it's time for the "I love you like a fat kid loves cake" memorial Worst Lyrics of 2008, March Madness-style tournament, this year a terrifying mélange of appalling oral-sex requests, bargain-bin philosophies, grammatical atrocities, and cringe-inducing pillow talk. To elevate the drama, I p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2008

    Candidate Cocktails on Election Day 2008

    When it's time to break up the fistfights and inject a little levity into your election-watching party, try handing out stiff cocktails and finger foods. (It's hard to fight with both hands full.) Be sure to give the food items and drinks disarmingly silly names. Right wings, hero sandwiches, and b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2008
  • Blogs

    October 23, 2008

    Book Review: Doomed Queens

    In her introduction to the morbidly entertaining Doomed Queens: Royal Women Who Met Bad Ends from Cleopatra to Princess Di, author Kris Waldherr asserts that there are still “doomed queens among us.” “Whatever your opinion of [Hillary] Clinton or [assassinated Pakistani Benazir] Bhutto, ther ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2008

    Turning the Screw: Lil Wayne, Hip-Hop and the Election, Wu-Tang Clan, Danity Kane, The Kanye

    Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won’t rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to Thanks, homies. Single of the Week Mista Smashsational feat. Buk, "On Patron" Wire To Wire BET named Weezy F. Baby named Lyric ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2008

    Golly, That Was Some Debate

    You're gosh-darn tootin' that ol' vice-presidential debate was last night, not on Main Street but (wink) in the heartland of St. Louis. Our sister paper the Riverfront Times is all over the action, with slideshows from before, during and after the momentous event, including lots of shots of Sarah P ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2008

    Battle Of The Feisty Governors: Sarah Palin vs. Ann Richards

    Sarah Palin has become an instant celebrity in the political world, a phenomenon that has shaken up the presidential race. A beehived governor from a huge oil state with a sharp accent and a tart tongue? We’ve been there. Ann Richards lit up the 1988 Democratic convention much as Palin did the G ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 4, 2008
  • Blogs

    September 4, 2008
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