Sarah Palin

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2014

    An Unfiltered Chat With Jello Biafra

    For more than three decades, Jello Biafra has remained the brassy conscience of punk rock, willing to knock down the sacred cows of politics and rock and roll. First honing his diatribes in the Dead Kennedys, next dabbling in film and spoken word, and ultimately joining forces with DOA, NoMeansNo, t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 26, 2014

    Women Can Run in Red States, But Pretty Is What Gets Elected, Dartmouth Study Says

    If state Sen. Wendy Davis hadn't been a pretty, blond clearly feminine woman, would she have ever had the chance to stage a filibuster? Would Ann Richards have been governor if she didn't have a girl face? We kind of thought the days of a woman being judged by how she looks and whether or not she is ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2013

    The Blame for the Current Government Crisis: Not the Answer You Expected

    American exceptionalism, for being an abstract idea, is a real aspect of American politics. Especially among those on the right -- see, e.g., Sarah Palin -- there is a belief that we are a blessed, unique nation (note the underlying theological tones). Part and parcel of American exceptionalism is a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2012

    Bronco Bama For The Win: Your Election Night 2012 Live Blog & Comment Feed

    "There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth or something I guess..." -- Luke 13:28, A Copy Of The Bible I Swiped From A Hotel Room Hello and welcome to Hair Balls' election night live blog and comment, where tonight I will be chronicling the mania of the 2012 presidential ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2012

    Nine Awful, Terrible, "What Were They Thinking?" Political Halloween Masks

    You're deep into your Halloween plans, possibly distracted by the presidential race. Or possibly not. Should you combine the two and do your trick-and-treating dressed as one of the leading pols of the day? You might want to think twice about your answer. A survey of Halloween websites shows that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2012

    RNC Hoopla: Ted Cruz Saying Stupid Things, Fitting in Just Fine

    Ah, the Republican National Convention. Glitz. Glamour. Ted Cruz -- our newly-anointed Texan conservative savior -- saying really dumb things. And Christianity. Lots and lots of Christianity. But first, back to Cruz, who's scheduled to address the convention tonight. So here's the deal: This is his ... More >>

  • News

    August 23, 2012

    Your Gonzo Guide to the Republican National Convention

    From cash-hungry strippers to protesters dressed as vaginas.

  • Film

    August 9, 2012

    The Campaign

    Hijinks and f-bombs on the campaign trail.

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2012

    Ted Cruz Is Here to Protect Texas from the UN

    Texas Republican voters finally jumped to their senses Tuesday and followed the clarion call of Sarah Palin by electing Ted Cruz to the U.S. Senate over pallid insider David Dewhurst. The upset was the latest bit of rebellion from the Tea Party, adding to the footnotes that will be written in poli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 28, 2012

    Local Activist Aaron Brown Arrested at Cruz/Palin Event in Woodlands, Doesn't Even Get to Show His Signs

    Local activist Aaron Brown, one of the organizers of protests against Westboro Baptist Church, was arrested by a Montgomery County Sheriff's deputy Friday while walking to the Cynthia Mitchell Woods Pavilion to protest Sarah Palin's appearance at an event supporting Republican senatorial candidate ... More >>

  • News

    July 5, 2012

    America's Petro-Terrorists

    Wall Street and Washington conspire to destablize the U.S. economy, one barrel of oil at a time.

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2012

    Googling Santorum: The Chron's TexasSparkle Makes a Horrifying Discovery

    TexasSparkle is the highlight of the Houston Chronicle's "Anyone Can Blog" page. Kathleen McKinley is her real name, and she's a person who thinks Sarah Palin is a serious individual, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh make sense, etc., etc. Her bio says she is a "co-host [of] SmartGirlNation on FTRadio ... More >>

  • Culture

    October 6, 2011


    When Should You Use Usted instead of And Are the Letters in this Column Real??

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2011

    "Homescholers For Perry": NOT Photoshopped, In Case You Were Wondering

    Every week or so, since Rick Perry entered the GOP presidential primary, we've gotten an e-mail from someone wanting to know whether our semi-famous "Homescholers for Perry" picture was photoshopped. Usually, it's because they are trying to refudiate a claim from some Perry supporter that the image ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2011

    10 Hot Stars-And-Stripes Bikinis, And the Specific Parts Of The U.S. Flag Code They Violate

    Flag etiquette, when it comes to the U.S., is pretty strict. As the Fourth of July approaches, it's important to remember that. Especially if you are planning on wearing a stars-and-stripes bikini. We don't want to discourage you, of course, but here are 10 examples of how innocent (or possibly jus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2011

    Yay? Houston One Of Few Cities To Get The Sarah Palin Movie

    Comin' atcha, Houston!!!!​You've been holding your breath for weeks now, wondering if Houston would be blessed enough to be one of the cities picked for the limited initial release of The Undefeated, the documentary that proves beyond all doubt that Sarah Palin is the heart and soul of America ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2011

    The Houston Rodeo: Ten Classic Pictures

    Photos courtesy HLS&RLook closer​Rodeo excitement is here, as our version of the State Fair ramps up with the trail riders nearing the city and Go Texan Day Friday. The Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo people were nice enough to let us rifle through their archive of pictures, and we've presente ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2011

    Confused Wade Phillips Is Confused

    Something occurred to me the other day as I was reading the sports ticker announcing that our own Houston Texans were hiring Wade Phillips as the new defensive coordinator and, in fact, keeping Gary Kubiak as head coach, in the face of a wave of anti-Kubiak gnashing of teeth. Have you ever had a f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2010

    Top 10 Houston Breakout Acts Of 2010

    ​These ten Houston artists opened our eyes and made us roll off the couch or out of the cubicle to go see them this year, health or sleep be damned. Craig's Hlist's two favorite things are sleeping and drinking, and thankfully these bands play where alcohol is served. It's been a fun year so ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2010

    Sarah Palin Somehow Comes Up In Red Light Camera Hearing

    Nowhere to hide. ​If there's one place we expect to be safe from Sarah Palin and her reality TV exploits, it's a courtroom in a federal courthouse during a hearing about red light cameras. We are wrong. Sarah Palin's Alaska received at least three mentions at a hearing earlier today, starting with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 1, 2010

    Trishana Broussard: Sex With Three East Texas Teens Nets Six Years' Prison

    Trishana Broussard: If blowing underage boys in cemeteries is wrong, she don't wanna be right​A 37-year-old East Texas woman is going to prison after pleading no contest to engaging in oral sex with three teenaged boys. On Monday, Trishana "Mama Bear" Broussard was sentenced to a six-year se ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2010

    Five Musicians Who Would Make Kick-Ass Parade Balloons​Rocks Off does not go to actual parades because we'll be damned if we'll waste clean pants on something that doesn't involve booze or Harry Potter, but we always make sure to catch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the teletube. We are, however, getting a little sick ... More >>

  • Dining

    November 11, 2010
  • Blogs

    November 10, 2010

    Stirred & Shaken: Pineapple-Infused Tuaca at 360 Sports Lounge

    Troy Fields​"I tell people I vote, but I never do," my friend tells me. "I think you should vote, but I don't do it." We're at 360 Sports Lounge watching Election Day returns on a big screen in the corner and sipping on one of the bar's specialties, Tuaca infused with pineapple. (It's as sweet ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2010

    Six Semi-Creepy Ads: Happy Times, Unless You Look Closely

    Google "creepy ads" and you come across the classics of the genre: the pig butchering himself, the baby getting crushed by a giant washtub, the wife getting spanked over piss-poor coffee.But there are other, more subtly creepy, ads that professional advertisers believed, at one point, would convince ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2010

    President Rick Perry: Five Reasons It Will Happen, Five Reasons It Won't

    President Rick Perry.​Governor Rick Perry, the man who has shown the ability to ride a crest of not really being liked to three gubernatorial wins, has done it again.He beat a Democrat in Texas, in the Tea Party year of 2010. A stunning achievement. Still, from now on the press will breathlessly b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2010

    Obama Shirt: Can't Vote. Reagan Shirt? Vote Away

    The fashion police are everywhere​Shirts are fast becoming the new weapon of choice in Harris County's 2010 polling places.One woman told KHOU she was not allowed to vote because she was wearing an Obama shirt. The county issued an official warning against people wearing Obama shirts (or, if anyon ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2010

    Illegal Immigration: What Bikini Babes Have To Say About It

    But those damn aliens can't read English!!!​ The controversy over immigration into America has been discussed ad nauseam on TV, op-ed columns and books, but it is perhaps best dealt with via the medium of bikini-babe posters.At least that's the thinking of one Alan Sessarego, of Gettysburg, PA. Se ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2010

    And Now... More HPMA Nominee MP3s

    Monica Fuentes​The 2010 Houston Press Music Awards showcase and ceremony are inching ever closer, and we are very, very close to being able to announce this year's special guests at our showcase August 7 along Washington Avenue. We can also tell you that the list of local bands playing the sho ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2010

    Sage Francis Transcends Genres At House of Blues

    Photos by Marc Brubaker/See the slideshowSage Francis with members of Free Moral Agents​Sage Francis' new album Li(f)e should have received better reviews than it did. Although the reviews it got weren't terrible, none of them seemed to acknowledge that Sage managed to marry rap and rock witho ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2010

    Annise Parker Is Almost As Influential As Glenn Beck

    Time magazineAnnise Parker's official Time photo, looking stiff but proudly displaying comfortable shoes​Mayor Annise Parker is the 13th Most Influential or 13th Most Something, person in America, according to Time magazine.Time's 2010 list of "the people who most affect our world" is out, and fea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 8, 2010

    A Very White Guy Explains Why "Granite State of Mind" Is Better Than Jay-Z's Original

    To: Jay-ZFrom A Very White PersonRe: Why "Granite State of Mind" is better than your originalSir:First, I'm sure you're wondering how I, a very pale Irish-American, might be quailifed to critique so-called "rap" music. My answer is simply that, as a white person who reads the Internet, I feel qualif ... More >>

  • News

    April 1, 2010

    Dogging the Dome

    An extensive investigation has uncovered secret plans for the Astrodome's future.

  • Blogs

    March 24, 2010

    Astro Memories, Part Two: Author/ Supermodel Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top

    Photos by Bob Merlis​As we mentioned earlier, today's issue -- our annual look at Astros' Opening Day -- takes what Sarah Palin would no doubt call a "hopey-changey" approach to the 2010 season.Not for us to wallow in despair; instead we asked prominent Houstonians for their favorite Astro memorie ... More >>

  • Music

    March 4, 2010
  • Blogs

    February 12, 2010

    The Urban Dictionary, It Ain't What It Used To Be

    ​There was a time not so many years ago when we would immediately turn to the Urban Dictionary when we wanted to find out what, say, a Cleveland Steamer was, or maybe the definition of a Hot Karl (the two are not entirely unrelated). Practices we did not engage in, and which our friends would not ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 21, 2009

    Lonesome Onry and Mean: "OD'd In Denver" and Other Drug-Addled Americana Songs

    A group of us were sitting at our regular table at the bar the other night when one of our number reported that he had to fly to Denver the next day. LOM never hears the word "Denver" that we don't think of Hank Williams Jr.'s "OD'd in Denver." We wonder if Sarah Palin, whom Bocephus schlepped for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 22, 2009

    Rocks Off Checks Out Corpus Christi

    Photos by Craig Hlavaty This past weekend, Rocks Off took a respite from sweltering H-Town to visit family in our equallly sweltering, ball-sweat-inducing neighbor to the south. Corpus Christi is rather small compared the teeming ant farm we have here, topping just over a quarter of a million beachi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2009

    A Few Rejected Inaugural Ball Theme Songs

    Eminem feat. Dr. Dre & 50 Cent, "Crack A Bottle" The Good: Many bottles will be popped during tonight's festivities, we imagine, if not quite as many models. Also, the ongoing partnerships between this trio of rap titans says something about the present state of race relations in this country, r ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 26, 2008

    Top Ten Metal Albums of 2008

    In a year worthy of your rage, metal delivered in spades. What with the economy circling the drain and Sarah Palin coming down from the tundra and then refusing to go back, 2008's been the kind of year that really makes you want to smash your head into walls or punch random strangers in the face. Go ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 18, 2008

    Lonesome Onry and Mean: Envy, You're Up

    Best In Texas music magazine can breathe a sigh of relief this month. We've found a new publication of supreme arrogance and ineptitude to ponder and dissect. Other than pedophiles, no group of people pisses Lonesome Onry & Mean off more than Elitist Pricks. Dallas is full of them -- not that Hous ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2008

    A Hold-Out In The Obama-McCain Election

    The morning commute into town left me near a late-model Range Rover, bottle-blonde, soccer-mom Tanglewood type at the wheel.The luxury car featured two bumper stickers: One, a small decal with the McCain logo and a big drawing of kissy lips that said "Read My Lipstick." Sort of clever, if you're the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 20, 2008

    Ralph Macchio: The One and Only Karate Kid

    No, my God, NO! There is only one Daniel LaRusso and his name is Ralph “Stone Fox” Macchio! Such was my reaction when I heard word this week that Will Smith’s nauseatingly adorable son Jaden is scheduled to remake the classic 80s film The Karate Kid. Now I have nothing against Will Smith ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2008

    Things We Don't Get: Walton & Johnson

    Through no fault of our own, we stumbled once again on the Walton & Johnson radio show on 950 AM this morning. OK, it was our "fault," because we were trying to find something interesting to listen to. We had forgotten just how bad these guys are. We quickly remembered as we listened, struck dumb b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2008

    What History Tells Us: Five Black Presidents

    And although it seems heaven sent We ain't ready, to see a black President 2Pac never lived to see himself proven wrong, but we do have an African-American Commander-in-Chief. The media will be going on for months about the historic nature of this election, the ramifications for America's future, a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2008

    Six Ways You Know Obama Has Won

    The election, by all accounts in the media, is over. Barack Obama has won. There will be no hanging chads, no recounts, no doubt. He can indeed start measuring those damn drapes John McCain was always talking about. And America feels different today. How do we know? Six ways you can tell: 6. You ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2008

    Turning the Screw: Bun B and Q-Tip Team Up, Jennifer Hudson, Ludacris, T-Pain, G-Unit, MF Doom, Cypress Hill and More

    Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won’t rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to Thanks, homies. (Video) Single of the Week: Hurricane Chris, Knaan, Bun B and Q-Tip, "Cypher Round 1": The first two guys are rather un ... More >>

  • Music

    October 23, 2008
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