Second Amendment

  • Blogs

    October 16, 2014

    Is the Montgomery County Police Reporter More "Police" Than "Reporter"?

    If you're arrested in Montgomery County, chances are your name, charges, and maybe even mugshot will enter the wilds of the internet through the Montgomery County Police Reporter's website. The Chron runs Police Reporter photos of drug busts, police raids, and suspect take-downs, regularly citing ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 10, 2014

    Lessons Learned from Open Carry, the Childrens Book

    There are a lot of things to love about the whole open carry movement. For one thing, the fervent belief that firearms should be carried by all people at all times has translated to some, shall we say, interesting moments in daily life. Open carry proponents have showed up at restaurants and stores ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2014

    The Five Most Repellent Things Ted Nugent Has Ever Done

    If your favorite gun store was out of ammo this morning, it's because Ted Nugent is back in town. The Motor City Madman rumbles into House of Blues tonight, and he's sure to bring the requisite shitload of guitar solos and flaming arrows with him. And hey, that's great -- at least it was, 40 years ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2014

    True Blood: Stick to Your Guns

    This week surprised me a great deal on True Blood. I'd resigned myself to ending out the series by sucking harder than a $400 Dyson, but instead it showed that sometime there are things that the show actually does do better than the books. Welp, maybe better is a strong word. Let's say "differently ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 30, 2014

    Casey Donahew Band's Foolproof Anti-Theft System

    Plenty of Texas country bands sing about people on the wrong side of the law, a tradition that goes back at least as far as Willie and Waylon. But recently the Casey Donahew Band did their peers one better when several members foiled the attempted theft of one of them's expensive ice chest - and wen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 17, 2014

    Greg Abbott, The Nuge, and a Subhuman Mongrel Chimpanzee

    Listen up, and listen good: The Nuge has spoken. He has dubbed Barak Obama a "subhuman mongrel" and a "chimpanzee," and thereby exposed the entire Democratic party as the chimpanzee-lovers they clearly are. The Nuge ain't no chimp-lover. The Nuge doesn't fling feces. He only covers himself in it in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2014

    Greg Abbott: Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss

    If you have occasion to meet or see Greg Abbott, it's impossible not to notice that he is in a wheelchair. In a freak accident, a tree fell on him when he was 26 years old and rendered him a paraplegic. However, this has not stopped him from ascending the ranks of Texas politics and he is, presumab ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2013

    What Happened to Gun Control After Newtown?

    Yale law professor Dan Kahan has persuasively argued that the reason why we seem like two ships passing in the night when debating gun issues is because people disagree about the facts, as they see them: Gun-control proponents argue that greater restrictions will promote public safety by reducing ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2013

    Ted Cruz Has His Own Coloring Book (And It's Glorious)

    Sen. Ted Cruz is the gift that keeps on giving. Yes, he's usually out there spouting some Tea Party-infused dogma or doing things that you know must make some of the more mainline Republicans want to smack their heads on the table, but Cruz occasionally does things with a twist of fancy that Hair Ba ... More >>

  • News

    October 24, 2013

    Packing Heat

    Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson wants to "normalize the sight of an armed citizen."

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2013

    Jerry Patterson's Old West Jamboree: Land Commish Wants to "Normalize the Sight of an Armed Citizen"

    Current Texas Land Commissioner and Lt. Governor hopeful Jerry Patterson has been a stanch supporter of conservative causes. He recently told reporters he thought liberal states like New York and California should be kicked out of the Union. He is also is a proud concealed gun carrier, allegedly pac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 12, 2013

    Rick Perry is a Trendsetter: Other States Threatening Secession

    As we know, Rick Perry likes to party like its 1860 (the year South Carolina became the first to secede in the "War Between the States"). Of course, Perry wanted to secede based on Obamacare and federal debt, not one of the great moral crimes in American history, but we all have our own cause celebr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2013

    Dustin Reininger: Texas Dude With a Truckload of Guns Forced to Remain in New Jersey Gulag

    Second Amendment-hating New Jersey judges rejected a Texas man's appeal on a 2010 conviction of illegal possession of multiple firearms this week, but the case may soon be headed for New Jersey's Supreme Court. Rockport resident Dustin Reininger's Kafka-esque nightmare began in 2009, when he was dr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2013

    Palin, Santorum, and Perry Remind the NRA Convention of America's Greatness, and that Greatness Comes from a Gun

    There was a point in Rick Santorum's history lesson, a point in the former Pennsylvania senator's spiel last Friday about the horrific transition President Obama has yet in store for America, when the 20,000-strong audience at the 2013 NRA Convention sat perfectly silent. Bathed in blue flood-light, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 3, 2013

    NRA Convention Day 1: Hitler, Background Checks and Action Track Chairs

    Jim Williams is the genial grandfather we all want. His voice is soft, and his hands are weathered and firm. He smiles when he speaks. He listens when you respond. He's eager to share his stories, but he's more concerned for your well-being than his remaining days. Which is why Williams, one of the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2013

    Ted Nugent, Who Shit His Pants to Avoid Vietnam, Blames Military Suicides on Constitutional Violation

    For whatever reason, there are those among us who feel Ted Nugent is a cogent voice for Second Amendment rights. There are people who feel he's doing a service to those seeking to maintain their right to bear arms every time he flaps his soul patch. There are those that respect him. Hopefully, afte ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2013

    Nearly Half of Republicans Believe an Armed Revolution May Be Imminent. No, Seriously.

    It's been a while since we've experienced a good, wholesome armed revolution. We had one a few hundred years ago, birthing our nation. Texas had its own just a a few generations after that, bringing us another nation, and another state. And while the Confederacy faltered during the mid-19th-century, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 1, 2013

    Nullifying Federal Gun Statutes: After League City's Precedent, Towns Across Texas -- and Beyond -- Race to Do The Same

    It's been over two months since League City became the first city in the nation to instruct local officials to forgo federal arms enforcement. League City, owner of the largest rate of concealed handgun licensees in the state, decided that any potential Bushmaster restriction was beyond the pale, an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2013

    Constitutional Right to Bear Arms Found in Only Three Nations -- Rest of World Smothered in Tyranny, Apparently

    We've known for some time that the American Constitution, that yellowed document containing all our inalienable and God-given rights, was a special slip of parchment. The first of its kind, we've been told. The example. The lodestar. The exceptional. But recent research, publicized last week in Blo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2013

    How Many Texans Own Guns? A Whole Freakin' Lot, Poll Shows

    Hey, we all know Texans like their guns. We just didn't realize how much they love them. (Well, to be honest, we did if we gave it much thought, but we hadn't, and now there's new evidence showing it.) For most of those interested, the key finding of the new University of Texas / Texas Tribune poll ... More >>

  • News

    February 28, 2013

    Hotel ZaZa's Hidden Dungeon

    You have to ask for this cell.

  • Blogs

    February 19, 2013

    League City Grants Itself Right to Ignore Any Firearm Limits Elected Officials Pass

    Heidi Thiess wants you to know that this isn't about her. This resolution -- this resolution that League City's just passed, banning any federal limits pertaining to guns, to ammunition, to the Second Amendment -- isn't anything personal. This is something larger, she says. This isn't a woman and a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 18, 2013

    Guns On Campus? Texas Legislator Files Bill Letting Schools Offer Gun-Training Courses to Kids During School Day

    While other states debate whether or not to allow armed guards in schools, one Texas legislator has decided to shift the discussion with a novel, untested idea. Rep. James White, representing an area around Hillister, has recently put forth a bill that, instead of placing weaponry in the hands of a ... More >>

  • News

    August 23, 2012

    How to Speak Republican

    Leaked document reveals the secrets of the GOP's coded language.

  • News

    August 23, 2012

    Your Gonzo Guide to the Republican National Convention

    From cash-hungry strippers to protesters dressed as vaginas.

  • Calendar

    June 14, 2012
  • Blogs

    February 9, 2012

    Jack Donaghy Backs Romney: Our Favorite TV Characters Vote

    The Republicans are whittling down now to the bare bones. Not to discredit anyone, but the race is basically Rom vs. Newt for the win. While we don't really miss the circus show that was the Republican Party just a few short months ago, at least we had more options. Now that we are getting down to t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 27, 2011

    Have A KKK Memorial Day

    Come one, come (not really) all​If your white-power group is having trouble finding cool Memorial Day rallies where you can wave the stars 'n stripes 'n swastikas, then we suggest you check out reputable racist-friendly website for cool holiday ideas. We especially recommend tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2010

    Jerry Patterson Feels The Obama Magic, Joins Forces With Him

    Jerry Patterson, proud member of Team Obama​In the furious, never-ending effort by Texas politicians to distance themselves from the Beltway, few are more emphatic than Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson of Pasadena. In his most recent race he ran a radio ad that not only featured a DC residen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2010

    Tea Party: At The Race Track With George Washington

    Photos by Craig HlavatyNo treading allowed​On Saturday afternoon I visited the North Houston Tea Party's "I Will Vote" rally, held at the Sam Houston Race Park. This was my second Tea Party rally in six months, following on the heels of the one in April at Discovery Green where my photographer was ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 11, 2008

    A Christmas Story

    Web exclusive!

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2008

    Chuck and Huck, Sittin’ in a Tree…

    So Walker, Texas Ranger has a boyfriend, and his name is Mike Huckabee. Seriously folks, is anyone else out there slightly stunned and somewhat befuddled by the strange love affair taking place between the Republican candidate for Prez and the guy who made “Sidekicks”? I don’t suppose it sho ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 10, 2007

    O RLY?

    Back in January 2005, Press writer Mosi Secret wrote about the Houston chapter of the Pink Pistols, a group of “concealed-pistol-toting, Second Amendment-defending sexual minorities who don't take mess from criminals, haters or legislators trying to take their guns.” Bill O’Reilly falls unde ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2007

    The Nuge, Special to HouStoned

    As the nation reels over the Virginia Tech tragedy, as we look to our leaders for guidance and answers, one voice has remained conspicuously silent – until now. Today, for what might be the first time in history – but should not be the last – the words “By Ted Nugent, Special to CNN” appea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2006

    A Right Wing Take on the Walter's War

    To Galt, this ain't police brutality -- it's justice. Editor's note: John Galt, Houston's favorite right-wing hipster, contacted music editor John Nova Lomax demanding to be given equal time in the debate over the Walter's on Washington War. HouStoned, being a fair and balanced blog, has complied. ... More >>

  • News

    July 27, 1995

    The Sound and the Fury

    Talk radio's Rob Thorn warns of the New World Order and impending apocalypse. The Texas Constitutional Militia is listening.