Shia LaBeouf

Hillbillies vs. Peacocks in Lawless

Looks trump plot in prohibition drama

2012 Summer Guide: Summer Movie Preview

Pop Rocks: We Must Avenge Patrick Swayze

​Assholes: Surf thriller "Point Break" will get a modern update by Alcon and Warner Bros., much to fans' chagrin. According to Deadline.com, the new version will be set in the world of extreme sports. Kurt Wimmer ("Salt," the upcoming "Total Recall" remake) has written the script for the ne ... More >>

7 Reasons Transformers 3 Made Me Want to Kill Myself

It stinks!​Yes, I try and keep it sports-related in this space as much as I possibly can. That's what I've been asked to bring to the table on Hair Balls and that's where my area of expertise lies. However, sometimes there is confluence of circumstance so powerful that I must stray from sports ... More >>

The Ten Worst Movies of 2011...In Advance

Oh, don't act surprised.​2011 is barely out of the oven and I'm already filled with dread. Could it be the fact I've spent the entire year so far coughing up chunks of green lung tissue? That I've finally despaired of ever finding a writing gig that doesn't involve "Lady Gaga sex tape" Google ... More >>

10 Sequels That Don't Need To Happen

Please god, no...​For those who've been pining for the return of the "Blue Steel" and the "Magnum," your patience is about to be rewarded: Ben Stiller is dead in the middle of promoting "Little Fockers," out Dec. 22, but he's already got his eye on yet another sequel: "Zoolander 2." Stiller ... More >>

The Beatles: Eight Ways To Spruce Up Their iTunes Catalog

​In what was undoubtedly momentous news to the hundreds of music fans out there who haven't already a) copied their CDs of Rubber Soul and Revolver onto their hard drives, or b) illegally downloaded their entire collection, Apple made the entire Beatles catalog available on iTunes yesterday. ... More >>

Falcon Lake: Casting The Inevitable Lifetime Movie

Tiffany Young-Hartley: Only Reese Witherspoon could do her justice​Okay, so it's time to get started on the script and casting for the movie about David and Tiffany's fateful Jet-Ski trip on Falcon Lake. First, what to name this movie? The Pirates of Falcon Lake will never do: it conjures Johnn ... More >>

Wall Street Bailout

Stone's sequel lets the bad guys off easy.

Houston Texans Turn The Corner -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

Neil Rackers -- He's no Kris Brown​I shouldn't enjoy carnage as much as I do, but I have to admit that a few hours after Neil Rackers' 35-yard field goal sailed through the uprights, sending the Houston Texans to an improbable 30-27 overtime win over the Washington Redskins yesterday afternoon, My ... More >>

Pop Rocks: The Celebrity DUI Conundrum

​I've always preferred brunettes. Aside from making me not a gentleman, this simply meant I favored Jaclyn Smith over Farrah Fawcett, Lynda Carter (or JoAnna Cameron) to Deidre Hall, Yasmine Bleeth to Gena Lee Nolin, and Jane Seymour over, well...just about any of the other Bond Girls. Given ... More >>

Pop Rocks: It's All Michael Bay's Fault

​Most of my life has been spent seeking out a unifying theory of suckitude in the entertainment universe, "entertainment" in this sense meaning movies, music, and television. Originally, I'd hoped to find someone whose utter horribleness spanned the entire artistic firmament (including literat ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Why 2010 Is Going To Suck, Pt. 1

I know I'm not the only person who feels like high-fiving everyone at the end of the holiday season, heady with the triumph of having survived another two weeks of forced jocularity, awkward family moments, bad TV, and worse music. The new year, with it's promise of fresh opportunities to screw up a ... More >>

The 2008 MTV Movie Awards Turn Back the Clock

Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Sad Decline

Its very own temple of doom, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull digs Indy into a deep hole

Transformers, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Crazy Love and Treasures III: Social Issues in American Film

Keeping The Meter Running

Transformers

As giant robots transform all around us (!), it's good to know Michael Bay won't ever change

Get Inside. It's Summertime!

Your guide to the season's hottest films (and the other ones, too)

Disturbia

With Hitchcock in its rear window, bland voyeur thriller does its best not to perturb(ia)

Hometown Legend

Coming of age and stayin' alive on the mean streets of Astoria, Queens

Played for Fools

The Greatest Game cheats history, and just about everything else

Hell to Pay

Constantine shuns its comic-book roots for real depth as Reeves returns in black

Lit Up

It's more fun watching the movie get made than watching the movie

Digging for Treasure

With Holes, Disney serves up more than the usual kiddie fare