Subject:

Simon Cowell

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2013

    Boy Did We Piss Off This One Directioner

    Note: In his column Serrano Time, Houston's award-winning scribe and all-around goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Last week, I wrote about why One Direction's "This Is My Story" sucks. Usually, whenever one of these pieces goes up (and they go up often), I get a handful of twe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2013

    10 Texas Acts We Totally Want to Smell Like

    Last week, pop goddess Katy Perry unveiled her brand-new perfume, Killer Queen -- a fruity, intoxicating scent named after some old Beatles song or something. The fragrance's official Web site claims it features top notes of dark plum, wild berries and bergamot with subtle hints of cashmeron, natura ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 21, 2013

    Who Should the New American Idol Judges Be?

    This past week, when American Idol concluded its twelfth season by crowning Candice Glover (who edged out Woodville's Kree Harrison), it was also announced that the show's latest lineup of judges is kaput. Randy Jackson went first, followed by Nicki Minaj. We're guessing that leaves Keith Urban and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2013

    5 Easy Ways to Spruce Up American Idol

    You may not have noticed, but American Idol started a new season last week. If you're like most people, you apparently didn't watch because the ratings are way down. This could be for any number of reasons. Idol has been on the air for what feels like forever, with pretty much the same formula all ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2013

    The Taste Premiere: Sea Bass with Butterscotch for Anthony Bourdain

    With television today overwhelmed by reality shows that feature everything from singing to dancing to racing around the world, it's no surprise that ABC has a new reality competition centered around cooking. The Taste is exactly like The Voice on NBC, except that instead of judging someone's voice b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2011

    The X Factor: Rain Delay and Judges' Houses

    Photo by FOXJust wait until the "Judges' moms' houses" round!​First, this recap was delayed because the Wednesday night baseball playoff game was rain delayed, canceling that night's X Factor episode--yet another reason for me to hate baseball. Second, naming the latest round of competition "t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2011

    The X Factor: Mentoring, Mentoring & More Mentoring

    Last night I was officially annoyed with The X Factor. To be fair, the show suffered from my having to wait until the Yankees lost, and my husband was done swearing and stomping around the living room, so I had to stay up really late (for me) to watch. And then I realized that the show went from 90 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2011

    The X Factor: A Host, A Pussycat Doll & A "Creep"

    As I settled in to watch The X Factor last night, my husband asked me, "Who is that British guy?" and I said, "Um, that's Simon Cowell, honey. From American Idol? A show we watched for like, five years?" And my husband said, "Um, no, the other British guy - the host." And then I was all, "The host!? ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2011

    Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, A Salute To TV Season Premieres

    DWTS = this week's Philly-Giants game?​Television fascinates me. It seems like a new station pops up onto my channel grid every day to the point where I'm actually a little disappointed I haven't been approached by anyone to televise the Sean Network. I mean, doesn't everyone have their own ne ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2011

    The X Factor: Simon Cowell's Softer Side

    Fox​Wednesday night, Fox's highly-anticipated The X Factor debuted, and though as of this writing I was unable to find any ratings numbers I have to imagine they were stellar. Not too good - Ed. Simon Cowell has massive appeal, and even if numbers continue to decline throughout the season, I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Our Lack of Internal Beauty

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2011

    Idol Beat: My Faith In A Just Universe Is Restored

    You're paying for that suit now, kid.​60 million votes. That's how many it took to ensure karmic balance in the universe and send Jacob Lusk to the American Idol equivalent of hell... which is probably an alternate dimension where Simon Cowell never existed. Last night was so chock-full of en ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 2, 2011

    Idol Beat: Male Fraud

    ​Steve Tyler wore a shirt with lips all over it. I couldn't decide if he was being knowingly self-referential or it was the work of the same costume designer who put him in that leotard in the "Love in an Elevator" video.neither way, it fulfilled its purpose of distracting me from the show for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2011

    Idol Beat: Austin, So Much To Answer For

    ​Rocks Off would like to apologize for last week's outrageous behavior by Pete Vonder Haar. He has been warned, and assures us he will never compare Marc Anthony to an extra from Dawn of the Dead again. Steven Tyler dropped an F-bomb on this week's audition episode, which definitely warrants ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2011

    Idol Beat: Here We Go Again...

    ​Finally, after months of anticipation (or dread, depending on your pain tolerance), the new and *cough* "improved" American Idol made its debut. At long last we can start to put an end to the speculation about the show's 10th season: will Jennifer Lopez out-diva Ryan Seacrest? Can the show su ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2011

    The Ten Worst Movies of 2011...In Advance

    Oh, don't act surprised.​2011 is barely out of the oven and I'm already filled with dread. Could it be the fact I've spent the entire year so far coughing up chunks of green lung tissue? That I've finally despaired of ever finding a writing gig that doesn't involve "Lady Gaga sex tape" Google ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2010

    10 Music Stories We Wish We'd Ignored This Year

    ​We in the alternative media - not necessarily the Houston Press and/or Rocks Off, not all the time - enjoy calling out our mainstream brethren. Whether it's ten books that didn't make The New York Times' "Best of 2010" list, or "10 Stories Our Print Version Accidentally Overlooked," us "under ... More >>

  • Music

    September 2, 2010
  • Blogs

    August 2, 2010

    The Week in TV: Ellen Degeneres Realizes American Idol Sucks

    Rob Lowe will soon join the cast of Parks and Recreation.​The dog days are upon us, the networks are planning for fall, and there's always money in the banana stand. This was the week in TV Land: • The Television Critics Association summer press tour has been going on for the past few days ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 26, 2010

    The Week In TV: Who Watched Mad Men?

    We didn't watch it. But, hey, at least we're honest.​The best thing I watched last week was an airing of Ratatouille on ABC Family. This was the week in TV Land: • I'll tell you right now: I didn't watch Mad Men. "BUT DAN," I can hear you shouting even though you're reading this at work, " ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 13, 2010

    Cover Artiste Brett Domino Is Even Better Than The Real Thing

    Every day Rocks Off trolls the tubes of you in search of videos deemed worthy to share. If you have something you think deserves to be video of the day, send a link to jef_rouner@yahoo.com. ​Sometimes you hear a cover that is so much better than the original that you wish that it had come fir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 27, 2010

    American Idol: That's All, Folks

    Um...really? This was it? This was the best you could do, America?​And so, the ninth season of American Idol comes to a lumbering and terrible end. The show is frequently boring and often aggressive in its desire to force viewers to sit through bad guest performances, but even by the show's ow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2010

    The Week In TV: Lost and Found

    ​I'm tired, hungry, and probably just experiencing all this in a pleasant purgatory of my own making. This was the week in TV Land: • So, Lost ended. I'd be lying if I said I was completely pleased with the way it went down. I wasn't expecting bursts of exposition to answer every little de ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2010

    Pop Rocks: Quick Hits

    ​We're going to mix it up a bit on Pop Rocks today. Usually, I stick with one subject for the entire piece because I'd rather not depend too heavily on snarky line-item entries. But let's face it; sometimes there's just too much going on in the world of pop culture for me to focus on just one top ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2010

    American Idol: The "Big D" Stands For Dull

    ​Last night's American Idol took the auditions to Dallas (or, more accurately, Arlington) for the sixth open-call episode of the season to date. The show seemed to be hold Dallas in high regard: It's where Kelly Clarkson was discovered in the first season back in 2002, so there's a sense that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2010

    Idol Beat: Goin' Through the Big D, and Don't Mean Dallas

    ​Last night's American Idol took the auditions to Dallas (or, more accurately, Arlington) for the sixth open-call episode of the season to date. The show seemed to be hold Dallas in high regard: It's where Kelly Clarkson was discovered in the first season back in 2002, so there's a sense that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 14, 2010

    Pop Rocks: American Idol -- What The Hell Is Wrong With You People?

    ​The ninth season of America's national karaoke showcase -- also known as American Idol -- premiered last Tuesday. The show that has contributed such legends as Jordin Sparks and Taylor Hicks to the world of music continues to chug along in spite of the absence of original judge Paula Abdul and th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2010

    Idol Beat: Here We Go Again...

    Last night's guest judge: a bobblehead doll Victoria Beckham​I've never watched a whole season of American Idol before, but that's a minor detail. Actually watching this show doesn't seem to be necessary to know as much about it as the most devoted fans: Amateur singers judges = quasi-drama. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2010

    American Idol: It Begins

    Last night's guest judge: a bobblehead doll Victoria Beckham​I've never watched a whole season of American Idol before, but that's a minor detail. Actually watching this show doesn't seem to be necessary to know as much about it as the most devoted fans: Amateur singers judges = quasi-drama. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2010

    Who Might Replace Simon Cowell on American Idol? Funny You Should Ask...

    [Ed. Note: Thanks to Craig Hlavaty for sparking this idea with his suggestion that Andy Rooney take over for Mr. Cowell.] As most of you no doubt already know, American Idol returns tonight, which means a return to watching overly processed people performing overly processed versions of overly proc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2009

    You, Too, Can Be a Successful Cyberstalker!

    ​In the age of Brightkite, transparency and TMI, anyone can wrangle and fulfill his or her aspirations of becoming a stalker. Just showing up in the right uniform to the game of life can freak plenty of people out, depending on what's hanging out or strapped onto your person. But everybody k ... More >>

  • Calendar

    July 23, 2009

    Saturday Night Fever

    Web exclusive!

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2009

    Social Distortion: Did Shallow Social Media Sink Susan Boyle?

    You probably had no idea who the hell Susan Boyle was seven weeks ago. And if you'd seen her mugshot, you probably wouldn't have cared. 'Twas easy to judge the homely, have-not warbler by her cover - 'til she opened her mouth, that is. In a flash, The Woman Who Shut Up Simon Cowell was a househ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2009

    Idol Beat: The Top Seven Results

    Michael Becker/ Fox Bottom Feeding: Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud will likely be right back here next week.At the beginning of Wednesday's American Idol, I was pretty sure that whoever the week's lowest vote-getter was - Lil Rounds or Matt Giraud - would go home. No save for them. So when Simon ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 2, 2009

    Idol Beat: The Top Nine Results

    Photos by Michael Becker/ Fox No joy in Megan's world Wednesday night.Karma's a bitch, ain't it? Megan Joy admits that she doesn't care what Simon Cowell thinks of her performances, and then, when the judges have to decide whether or not to save her from elimination, Simon throws that comment ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 27, 2009

    Idol Beat: The Top Ten Results

    I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Try not to break out into a toothy, mile-wide grin while watching Stevie Wonder command a stage, loop-de-looping through a handful of his zillions of classics in that inimitable zig-zag, running-through-tonal-mazes-at-light-speed style of his. Was he actually play ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 26, 2009

    Idol Beat: The Top Ten

    Man, Sarvernator! What happened? When first we met, you were so dope, flexing serious white-soul chops - minus a soul patch - and you had the sort of blue-collar backstory that seemed to make you a lock for the Top Seven or Top Eight. But it turned out that you had an Achilles heel: the audience. W ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2009

    Idol Beat: Wild Card Wildout

    Frank Micelotta/ Fox Lucky 13: the American Idol season 8 finalistsFirst off, I'd like to extend a hearty Idol Beat way-to-go to the Fox minion or technological gremlin responsible for causing last night's episode of American Idol to cut out while Simon Cowell and Tatiana Del Toro were quibb ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2009

    American Idol Returns Tonight... Yawn

    Come back Kelly Clarkson, all is forgiven... If you've been lucky enough to spend the past several months in a media-deprivation tank - or maybe you just don't read the Houston Chronicle - then you no doubt know Fox's shrill-singing flagship series American Idol returns tonight at 7 p.m. (As o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2008

    Houstonian Kady Malloy = Early American Idol Front-runner

    Dallas may have hosted the American Idol auditions’ most recent Texas stop back in August, but it looks like a Houstonian stole the show. On last night’s episode, notoriously curt Idol judge Simon Cowell practically flipped his wig over effervescent Katy Taylor alum and Jessica Alba lookalike Ka ... More >>

  • Music

    January 18, 2007

    Idol Chatter

    Opening day for America's fourth national sport is upon us

  • Home Entertainment

    October 19, 2006
  • Music

    June 22, 2006

    Hip-hop as She Is Rapped

    Translating the German Wikipedia entries of Houston's top MCs

  • Calendar

    June 15, 2006
  • News

    April 27, 2006

    They've Got Spirit

    Houston Texans Cheerleader tryouts

  • Resolutions

    January 19, 2006

    Reality Nightlife

    Get off the couch!

  • Calendar

    July 22, 2004

    Gong Hits

    Test-screen your video art at the Aurora Picture Show

  • Music

    March 18, 2004

    A Nashville Star Is Born

    Former Richmond Strip denizen Sheila Marshall makes it all the way to Music City

  • Music

    February 12, 2004

    The End Is Near

    The day of the Locust is at hand

  • More >>
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