Simon Cowell

5 Easy Ways to Spruce Up American Idol

You may not have noticed, but American Idol started a new season last week. If you're like most people, you apparently didn't watch because the ratings are way down. This could be for any number of reasons. Idol has been on the air for what feels like forever, with pretty much the same formula all ... More >>

The Taste Premiere: Sea Bass with Butterscotch for Anthony Bourdain

With television today overwhelmed by reality shows that feature everything from singing to dancing to racing around the world, it's no surprise that ABC has a new reality competition centered around cooking. The Taste is exactly like The Voice on NBC, except that instead of judging someone's voice b ... More >>

The X Factor: Rain Delay and Judges' Houses

Photo by FOXJust wait until the "Judges' moms' houses" round!​First, this recap was delayed because the Wednesday night baseball playoff game was rain delayed, canceling that night's X Factor episode--yet another reason for me to hate baseball. Second, naming the latest round of competition "t ... More >>

The X Factor: Mentoring, Mentoring & More Mentoring

Last night I was officially annoyed with The X Factor. To be fair, the show suffered from my having to wait until the Yankees lost, and my husband was done swearing and stomping around the living room, so I had to stay up really late (for me) to watch. And then I realized that the show went from 90 ... More >>

The X Factor: A Host, A Pussycat Doll & A "Creep"

As I settled in to watch The X Factor last night, my husband asked me, "Who is that British guy?" and I said, "Um, that's Simon Cowell, honey. From American Idol? A show we watched for like, five years?" And my husband said, "Um, no, the other British guy - the host." And then I was all, "The host!? ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, A Salute To TV Season Premieres

DWTS = this week's Philly-Giants game?​Television fascinates me. It seems like a new station pops up onto my channel grid every day to the point where I'm actually a little disappointed I haven't been approached by anyone to televise the Sean Network. I mean, doesn't everyone have their own ne ... More >>

The X Factor: Simon Cowell's Softer Side

Fox​Wednesday night, Fox's highly-anticipated The X Factor debuted, and though as of this writing I was unable to find any ratings numbers I have to imagine they were stellar. Not too good - Ed. Simon Cowell has massive appeal, and even if numbers continue to decline throughout the season, I ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Our Lack of Internal Beauty

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Idol Beat: My Faith In A Just Universe Is Restored

You're paying for that suit now, kid.​60 million votes. That's how many it took to ensure karmic balance in the universe and send Jacob Lusk to the American Idol equivalent of hell... which is probably an alternate dimension where Simon Cowell never existed. Last night was so chock-full of en ... More >>

Idol Beat: Male Fraud

​Steve Tyler wore a shirt with lips all over it. I couldn't decide if he was being knowingly self-referential or it was the work of the same costume designer who put him in that leotard in the "Love in an Elevator" video.neither way, it fulfilled its purpose of distracting me from the show for ... More >>

Idol Beat: Austin, So Much To Answer For

​Rocks Off would like to apologize for last week's outrageous behavior by Pete Vonder Haar. He has been warned, and assures us he will never compare Marc Anthony to an extra from Dawn of the Dead again. Steven Tyler dropped an F-bomb on this week's audition episode, which definitely warrants ... More >>

Idol Beat: Here We Go Again...

​Finally, after months of anticipation (or dread, depending on your pain tolerance), the new and *cough* "improved" American Idol made its debut. At long last we can start to put an end to the speculation about the show's 10th season: will Jennifer Lopez out-diva Ryan Seacrest? Can the show su ... More >>

The Ten Worst Movies of 2011...In Advance

Oh, don't act surprised.​2011 is barely out of the oven and I'm already filled with dread. Could it be the fact I've spent the entire year so far coughing up chunks of green lung tissue? That I've finally despaired of ever finding a writing gig that doesn't involve "Lady Gaga sex tape" Google ... More >>

10 Music Stories We Wish We'd Ignored This Year

​We in the alternative media - not necessarily the Houston Press and/or Rocks Off, not all the time - enjoy calling out our mainstream brethren. Whether it's ten books that didn't make The New York Times' "Best of 2010" list, or "10 Stories Our Print Version Accidentally Overlooked," us "under ... More >>

Adam Lambert

The Week in TV: Ellen Degeneres Realizes American Idol Sucks

Rob Lowe will soon join the cast of Parks and Recreation.​The dog days are upon us, the networks are planning for fall, and there's always money in the banana stand. This was the week in TV Land: • The Television Critics Association summer press tour has been going on for the past few days ... More >>

The Week In TV: Who Watched Mad Men?

We didn't watch it. But, hey, at least we're honest.​The best thing I watched last week was an airing of Ratatouille on ABC Family. This was the week in TV Land: • I'll tell you right now: I didn't watch Mad Men. "BUT DAN," I can hear you shouting even though you're reading this at work, " ... More >>

Cover Artiste Brett Domino Is Even Better Than The Real Thing

Every day Rocks Off trolls the tubes of you in search of videos deemed worthy to share. If you have something you think deserves to be video of the day, send a link to jef_rouner@yahoo.com. ​Sometimes you hear a cover that is so much better than the original that you wish that it had come fir ... More >>

Idol Beat: That's All, Folks

Um...really? This was it? This was the best you could do, America?​And so, the ninth season of American Idol comes to a lumbering and terrible end. The show is frequently boring and often aggressive in its desire to force viewers to sit through bad guest performances, but even by the show's ow ... More >>

American Idol: That's All, Folks

Um...really? This was it? This was the best you could do, America?​And so, the ninth season of American Idol comes to a lumbering and terrible end. The show is frequently boring and often aggressive in its desire to force viewers to sit through bad guest performances, but even by the show's ow ... More >>

The Week In TV: Lost and Found

​I'm tired, hungry, and probably just experiencing all this in a pleasant purgatory of my own making. This was the week in TV Land: • So, Lost ended. I'd be lying if I said I was completely pleased with the way it went down. I wasn't expecting bursts of exposition to answer every little de ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Quick Hits

​We're going to mix it up a bit on Pop Rocks today. Usually, I stick with one subject for the entire piece because I'd rather not depend too heavily on snarky line-item entries. But let's face it; sometimes there's just too much going on in the world of pop culture for me to focus on just one top ... More >>

American Idol: The "Big D" Stands For Dull

​Last night's American Idol took the auditions to Dallas (or, more accurately, Arlington) for the sixth open-call episode of the season to date. The show seemed to be hold Dallas in high regard: It's where Kelly Clarkson was discovered in the first season back in 2002, so there's a sense that ... More >>

Idol Beat: Goin' Through the Big D, and Don't Mean Dallas

​Last night's American Idol took the auditions to Dallas (or, more accurately, Arlington) for the sixth open-call episode of the season to date. The show seemed to be hold Dallas in high regard: It's where Kelly Clarkson was discovered in the first season back in 2002, so there's a sense that ... More >>

Pop Rocks: American Idol -- What The Hell Is Wrong With You People?

​The ninth season of America's national karaoke showcase -- also known as American Idol -- premiered last Tuesday. The show that has contributed such legends as Jordin Sparks and Taylor Hicks to the world of music continues to chug along in spite of the absence of original judge Paula Abdul and th ... More >>

Idol Beat: Here We Go Again...

Last night's guest judge: a bobblehead doll Victoria Beckham​I've never watched a whole season of American Idol before, but that's a minor detail. Actually watching this show doesn't seem to be necessary to know as much about it as the most devoted fans: Amateur singers judges = quasi-drama. ... More >>

American Idol: It Begins

Last night's guest judge: a bobblehead doll Victoria Beckham​I've never watched a whole season of American Idol before, but that's a minor detail. Actually watching this show doesn't seem to be necessary to know as much about it as the most devoted fans: Amateur singers judges = quasi-drama. ... More >>

Who Might Replace Simon Cowell on American Idol? Funny You Should Ask...

[Ed. Note: Thanks to Craig Hlavaty for sparking this idea with his suggestion that Andy Rooney take over for Mr. Cowell.] As most of you no doubt already know, American Idol returns tonight, which means a return to watching overly processed people performing overly processed versions of overly proc ... More >>

You, Too, Can Be a Successful Cyberstalker!

​In the age of Brightkite, transparency and TMI, anyone can wrangle and fulfill his or her aspirations of becoming a stalker. Just showing up in the right uniform to the game of life can freak plenty of people out, depending on what's hanging out or strapped onto your person. But everybody k ... More >>

Saturday Night Fever

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Social Distortion: Did Shallow Social Media Sink Susan Boyle?

You probably had no idea who the hell Susan Boyle was seven weeks ago. And if you'd seen her mugshot, you probably wouldn't have cared. 'Twas easy to judge the homely, have-not warbler by her cover - 'til she opened her mouth, that is. In a flash, The Woman Who Shut Up Simon Cowell was a househ ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Seven Results

Michael Becker/ Fox Bottom Feeding: Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud will likely be right back here next week.At the beginning of Wednesday's American Idol, I was pretty sure that whoever the week's lowest vote-getter was - Lil Rounds or Matt Giraud - would go home. No save for them. So when Simon ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Eight Results

Photos by Frank Micelotta/ Fox Guests of the Sheik: Flo Rida and his "harem."First things first: in yesterday's Idol Beat, I made reference to how excited I was for Idol Gives Back, a wildly successful annual event/trainwreck wherein the program brings a ton of celebrities on in an effort to ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Nine Results

Photos by Michael Becker/ Fox No joy in Megan's world Wednesday night.Karma's a bitch, ain't it? Megan Joy admits that she doesn't care what Simon Cowell thinks of her performances, and then, when the judges have to decide whether or not to save her from elimination, Simon throws that comment ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Ten Results

Photos by Frank Micelotta/ Fox Songs in the Key of Idol: Stevie Wonder performs Thursday night.I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Try not to break out into a toothy, mile-wide grin while watching Stevie Wonder command a stage, loop-de-looping through a handful of his zillions of classics in t ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Ten

Photos by Michael Becker/ Fox Michael Sarver couldn't patch Motown's soul.Man, Sarvernator! What happened? When first we met, you were so dope, flexing serious white-soul chops - minus a soul patch - and you had the sort of blue-collar backstory that seemed to make you a lock for the Top Seve ... More >>

Idol Beat: Wild Card Wildout

Frank Micelotta/ Fox Lucky 13: the American Idol season 8 finalistsFirst off, I'd like to extend a hearty Idol Beat way-to-go to the Fox minion or technological gremlin responsible for causing last night's episode of American Idol to cut out while Simon Cowell and Tatiana Del Toro were quibb ... More >>

Idol Beat, Part 2: Still More Hollywood Week

Michael Becker/ Fox AI judges Simon Cowell and Kara DioguardiDAY 5 This new Idol concept - a lushly appointed "judges' mansion" where contestants on thin ice are forced to sing for their survival - was squandered, somewhat, by the producers. I mean, this was a two-hour show, and really, ther ... More >>

American Idol Returns Tonight... Yawn

Come back Kelly Clarkson, all is forgiven... If you've been lucky enough to spend the past several months in a media-deprivation tank - or maybe you just don't read the Houston Chronicle - then you no doubt know Fox's shrill-singing flagship series American Idol returns tonight at 7 p.m. (As ... More >>

Houstonian Kady Malloy = Early American Idol Front-runner

Idol Chatter

Opening day for America's fourth national sport is upon us

Took a Shot

Hip-hop as She Is Rapped

Translating the German Wikipedia entries of Houston's top MCs

Il Communication

They've Got Spirit

Houston Texans Cheerleader tryouts

Reality Nightlife

Get off the couch!

Gong Hits

Test-screen your video art at the Aurora Picture Show

A Nashville Star Is Born

Former Richmond Strip denizen Sheila Marshall makes it all the way to Music City

The End Is Near

The day of the Locust is at hand