Of all the classic-rock bands that have been defunct for decades, few have had as big a commercial and critical resurgence as Thin Lizzy. While the band and any hopes for its continuance effectively ended with the 1986 substance abuse-related death of founder/singer/bassist/guiding light Phil Lynott ... More >>
Time for bets, beers, and plenty of wings -- Super Bowl XLVIII is just around the corner. Unfortunately, the Texans completely blew it, so our grand plans of J.J. Watt Texans Tackle Crackle ice cream cake pops are spoiled. But no worries, we've still got a few Super Bowl tricks up our sleeve. Wheth ... More >>
Featuring threesome seekers, cokehead judges, hockey dads from hell and, quite naturally, Wells Fargo.
Hey, look on the bright side. For every shitty type of candy there is out there, there are five more that are just mediocre. Har. Seriously, however, there's a world of great sweets to choose from when it comes to filling your treat-or-treat bowl. Here are ten of our favorite non-chocolate candies ( ... More >>
Because my family lives in both Corpus and the Hill Country, I find myself on the road to and from Houston frequently. During those long, boring drives through south and central Texas, there is one thing that shines like a beacon among the run-down gas stations and cows and oil rigs: Buc-ee's. Buc ... More >>
Outside the month of October, non-chocolate candy is usually not on my radar. Not that I have anything against Swedish fish or Gobstoppers or Skittles; I'm just more likely to go for a candy bar or a baked good if I want a quick, cheap fix for my sweet tooth. Thus, when I heard in passing that Star ... More >>
Curren$y, Young Roddy, Corner Boy P, Monster Beats, Doughbeezy feat. Killa Kyleon, L.E.$., The Kid Named Breezy Warehouse Live April 19, 2013 Friday night, stoners from across the area came out pre-rolled and lighter-ready to participate in the large-scale smoke-out that doubled as a Curren$y conce ... More >>
Some days just don't go the way you want. There you are, in line at a convenience store, minding your own business, just trying to buy some Skittles and beef jerky, and out of nowhere, some dude sneaks up behind you and bites your damn ear off! You'd be surprised at how often that happens in East Te ... More >>
Let's face it, eating Halloween candy plain can get old really fast. Sure, we all love the variety in miniature chocolate bars, the fun size packs of M&Ms and Skittles or the endless amounts of candy corn, but sometimes we need to spice things up a bit. Here's my top five list of ways to use your H ... More >>
I'm not sure what I liked best about Halloween: the candy itself, or the inevitable back-room, black-market bartering that went on after the fact. Into the wee hours following Halloween, my brothers and I would sit on the rug in our bedroom, candy piled in front of us like Smaug in his mountainous t ... More >>
The beauty of trail mix is that you can put all sorts of ingredients together to make an ultimate and flavorful snack. The trick is putting together a cohesive mix. So, in celebration of National Trail Mix Day, I have put together a guide to building the perfect trail mix, ensuring that you will m ... More >>
"I think that Dez has a chance to make the kind of impact of people that have worn this jersey before." -- Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in 2010 after bestowing the #88 jersey on wide receiver Dez Bryant Cocaine possession. Drug paraphernalia. Various mysterious brushes with assault charges through th ... More >>
You're the new owner of a major league baseball team. And you come with a bunch of baggage attached. Baggage like war profiteering and various EEOC charges involving sexist and racial statements and actions directed toward your employees. Your team is bad, and there are large portions of your fan ba ... More >>
Painkiller addiction is one of the largest and fastest-growing problems among today's younger veterans.
JUMBACO! JUMBACO! I've found myself unconsciously singing the annoyingly catchy Jack In The Box ad jingle in the car dozens of times since first viewing the commercial above. I hate myself for it. But as deep as my self-loathing goes, my morbid curiosity runs even deeper. (See also: the Skittles ... More >>
Photos by Katharine ShilcuttA Skittles burger is just a McDonald's quarter-pounder. This is a towering Texas-style burger. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.By now, most of the Internet has seen the Skittles burger: the candy creation that somehow manages to make a compressed disc of pur ... More >>
Photo by Stuart RosenbergThe winning Lucky Dog Gingerbread House, by Julie Busch-Johnson and Liz Sanford Westwood Country ClubSome events just make you go "Aww," or in the case of the Lucky Dog Rescue Gingerbread Doghouse Charity Competition, "P-aww." The popular fourth annual event took plac ... More >>
Yes, it's true: The original Ronald McDonald was played by Willard Scott.Food commercials have been unintentionally (or, in some cases, intentionally) creeping us out since the original Ronald McDonald was introduced to audiences in 1963. That's him over there to the right, providing what wou ... More >>
By now, most of us have seen the new commercials for Dr Pepper's new product line, Dr Pepper 10, a diet drink which, ostensibly, tastes better than Diet Dr Pepper thanks to whatever's in those ten measly calories (our theory: brown sugar and wormwood). Of course, every advertiser knows that men are ... More >>
It's a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we're trying hard to find meaning in the oddest monikers. Photo by Travis ShinnFun fact, Rocks Off is always sort of thinking about killing ourselves. Part of it is the music we listen to, part of ... More >>
Plus the shorts suckedAs much as those who construct teams in sports would like to think that they have a formula and a blueprint that they can go execute with any team in any market and be successful, the fact of the matter is that even for the best personnel men in the best-run organization ... More >>
Louis-Auguste BissonToday is Fredric Chopin's 201st birthday, although some sources claim he was actually born on February 22. Chopin's incredible nocturnes, pale complexion, consumption, and melancholy outlook have more than once prompted Rocks Off to christen him the Original Goth. He rema ... More >>
Can the celebrated rapper get out of trouble long enough to top the charts again?
We're getting closer to a midterm election that, more and more, is coming to resemble two dachshunds we had as a kid who would lose their little doggy minds over a chew toy and attack each other in a weiner-dog whirlwind of until separated by a garden hose. The attack ads are a-flying, and e ... More >>
Houston's history is dotted with albums that, fairly or un, have been swept aside. We'll examine them here. Have an album that you think nobody knows about but should? Email firstname.lastname@example.org. Lil Keke is the reigning big dick in the SwishaHouse camp; that part is pretty impossible to argue. ... More >>
Centuries of belly dancing tradition have culminated in an effective way to make me feel uncomfortable. I have no idea how I'm supposed to react to it, as I found out last Tuesday at Avant Garden (411 Westheimer, 713-526-4648). When a costumed woman is twirling and gyrating for a small group ... More >>
In between the first and second period of the Houston Aeros/Peoria Rivermen playoff game last night, I was walking around the Toyota Center concourse. I came up on a monitor that was showing the Astros/Dodgers game. And who do I see but Roger Clemens being interviewed by Fox Sports Houston's Patti S ... More >>
GWAR more important than you might expect.
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to email@example.com. Sometimes, just for fun ... More >>
In honor of Northern State's appearance at Warehouse Live, Houstoned Rocks is proud to present 10 of the dorkiest and funniest moments in the history of melanin-challenged rap: 1. Here's a dorky guy who can impersonate LL Cool J, Mystikal and Digital Underground:
My 11-year-old son John Henry hates U2. I can’t really figure it out, since he digs Coldplay. I thought it might have something to do with South Park’s recent skewering of Bono, but if I recall correctly, he has hated U2 since long before that episode aired. A year or so back, I loaded some Josh ... More >>
Miss Pop Rocks is sick. The whole basket of fun, including: 102 degree fever, hacking up mucus, uncontrollable sneezing, and so on. But this unfortunate situation has enabled her to conduct a little experiment, entitled “How Many Episodes of America’s Next Top Model Can Someone Watch in a Row? ... More >>
Q&A with Josh Grier
A reporter goes after the online drug business and gets wasted
A reporter goes after the online drug business and gets wasted
China's most expensive film looks lovely but feels empty
Why is the DJ scene almost completely devoid of women?
Get all hot and bothered at the Houston Fiery Foods Show
Windchimes Cinema 8