Smirnoff Ice

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2014

    Zapruder Analysis Of Douchy Bro Driving Motorcycle Into Swimming Pool

    "We're going to a party!" Webster's defines the word party as a "social gathering of invited guests, typically involving eating, drinking, and entertainment." That sounds like fun, right? Like enjoyment is kind of baked into the "party" experience? Hell, the definition of the verb form of the wor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2014

    Ten Best Alternatives to Beer (For Those Non-Hop Heads Among Us)

    With the summer and Memorial Day approaching it's time to gather 'round the grill with friends and family and a nice cold brewski. Unless, of course, you're one of those crazy many people who just don't really dig beer. For folks like you, there's always wine, of course, and cocktails, but those ju ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2013

    10 Reasons the Door Guy Hates You

    Few career paths garner the kind of uncanny respect and even fear allotted to the nightclub doorman. He's the first (and sometimes last) thing that you see when out for a night on the town and has the ability to make or break your evening (and possibly, arm) -- well before you've had the chance to d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2012

    2012: The Year In Zapruder, A Recap Of My Detailed Video Recaps

    I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line in 2012, the Zapruder-style analysis of viral videos became my thing. Much like you'd go to Clay Travis on SEC football or to Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback for the weekend that was in the NFL, when you the reader needed hardcore ... More >>

  • News

    December 27, 2012

    Texas Crimes of the Year, 2012

    As it turns out, Texans indulged in all seven of the deadly sins.

  • Blogs

    December 26, 2012

    Cover Story: Texas's Seven Deadly Crime Sins

    When staff writer John Nova Lomax set about his review of the crimes committed in Texas in 2012, he rapidly discovered that the Bible had a lot to say about them. Yes, all manner of crime that had evaded other groupings seemed to fall right into place once the Seven Deadly Sins were ticked off one ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2012

    Sex Assault and Child Porn Charges Facing Taylor McClain, Atascosita High School Tennis Coach

    According to an arrest affidavit, it all started with a trip to the Phobia Haunted House on the Northwest Freeway on the night of November 6. Sixteen-year-old "Julie" was in the backseat of Atascosita High School English teacher and assistant tennis coach Taylor McLain's car and 15-year-old "Heathe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2012

    Crystal Marie Mosquera: Accused Shoplifter Planned Ice Cream, Beer and Cucumber Party, Police Say

    This week's entrant in the Crystal Crime Report is Crystal Marie Mosquera. College Station cops say they picked up the 19-year-old Thursday evening outside an area Walmart after she was seen placing numerous items in a reusable shopping bag, defying a security guard's order to stop and attempting to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 6, 2012

    Congrats, J: 10 Graduation Gift Ideas for Justin Bieber

    Teen pop sensation Justin Bieber managed to graduate from high school recently, earning his diploma from St. Michael Catholic Secondary School in Stratford, Ontario, a school that was kind enough to offer him electronic courses uncontaminated by loathsome U.S. politics. Bieber moved to Atlanta with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 27, 2012

    Top 5 Diet Malt Beverages

    I recognize there's a certain segment of the population that considers malt beverages the lowest form of booze and would sooner drink nail polish remover than a Bacardi Breezer. But for some of us, malt beverages were the training wheels of our drinking careers. As young, underage pups we built our ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 24, 2012

    A Totally Biased Supermarket Ranking

    Within this past week, I've had occasion to visit the supermarket four times at three different stores. While each store offers its own distinct pros and cons, I can't help imagining my own perfect, ideal supermarket experience. There would be a large, open space with smaller sections therein. Th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2010

    Vanilla Ice And 11 Other Artists Dallas Can Keep

    ​Tomorrow night at 2016 Mainstage, Houston gets to relive its (our?) dark white-rap past when Dallas native Vanilla Ice hits the stage at the venue formerly known Sammy's On Main. Yes, that Vanilla Ice, from our haughty neighbors to the north who can do no wrong in the eyes of Texas Monthly. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 5, 2010

    Top Five '90s Food Trends

    ​ We're not really nostalgic for any of these food items--perhaps it hasn't been long enough yet? What 1990s foods do you remember consuming in great quantities (that you're willing to admit)? 5. Fat-Free/Diet Snack Foods All of that playing around in the laboratory led to some pretty sketc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 28, 2010

    The Week In TV: Futurama Lives!

    ​I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a summer of transcredible exploits. This was the week in TV Land: • Last week I asked what you watch during the summer, and the responses covered the bases for summer shows: Burn Notice, Leverage (really?), The Closer (really?!), sporting events, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2010

    Mike's Hard Lemonade v. Smirnoff Classic Lemonade

    ​When I got to that awkward age when you desire to drink alcohol yet still secretly hate the taste, I was excited to find that lemonade covered up the taste of vodka, gin and other clear spirits quite well. Although my palate has improved, I still enjoy the occasional grown-up lemonade to this ... More >>

  • Music

    January 6, 2005

    Back in the USSR

    Break out the vodka -- The Nightfly tours Houston's Russian-themed bars

  • Music

    December 2, 2004

    Get Back, Honky Cat

    Barry Manilow whites the songs. Is that so wrong?