SpongeBob SquarePants

5 Fictional Foods That I Wish Were Real

As a child, I dreamed of diving head first into Roald Dahl's famous chocolate river. As an adult, I still do. Every. Single. Day. Here are five other Fictional Foods That I Wish Were Real (in no particular order because truly, I want them all):

The "Mutiny On The Bounty" Ship May Be Coming To Galveston

A replica of the Bounty -- the ship that gave us the Mutiny -- may spend the winter at Galveston's Pier 21, ready to receive guests and tours. The ship, which has been used in such epics as the Mutiny remake, the Pirates of the Caribbean and SpongeBob SquarePants, according to impeccable Web resour ... More >>

RIP, Davy Jones: 5 Odd Facts About Him

Davy Jones, lead singer of The Monkees, died today at 66. He never outgrew the manufactured pop-band thing, but he made a nice living out of it and came to grips with his career. A career which had some oddities, such as: 5. He got started on the British equivalent of Broadway Jones wasn't the re ... More >>

NRBQ

Alpha Meals

Pedagogical Pasta?​In the past few months, I've started to pay more attention to children's food. That is to say, food products designed for and targeted toward the younger set (and their caregivers). Maybe it's because my friends are having kids, maybe it's because I'm pushing 30, or maybe i ... More >>

Perry's Prayerapalooza Sparks Protests: Gov's gathering proves controversial

Rick Perry's Prayerapalooza: Protests Start To Simmer

But SpongeBob is evil, my son​Rick Perry's courageously craven call for the nation's 50 governors to come to Houston to pray isn't exactly being met with unanimous hosannas. There's already a Facebook page up organizing protests of the August 6 event at Reliant Stadium, and other groups have ... More >>

Rick Perry Must Answer: Does He Think SpongeBob Is Gay?

Well, Rick Perry?​As we noted earlier, Rick Perry is calling on the nation's governors to come to Houston to attend a big Christian rally at Reliant Stadium and spend a day fasting and praying. "There is hope for America," Perry says. "It lies in heaven, and we will find it on our knees." Ki ... More >>

Rio Grande Mud: Cops, Mayors and Judges Busted For Corruption, DWI And Whoring All Over Valley

Froget it, Jake. It's just the Valley​On moving to Miami during that city's Cocaine Cowboy heyday, a friend once described the place thusly: "You are nobody here until you are under indictment."As the frontline for the drug war has shifted from Colombia and South Florida to Mexico and South Texas, ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Is Iron Man 2 ScarJo's Finest Performance?

​Unsurprisingly, Iron Man 2 was tops at the box office last weekend. The $128.1 million haul was considered a mild disappointment by some, proving once again that even the fifth biggest opening weekend in movie history can be spun as a negative in Hollywood, where it was also argued semi-convi ... More >>

This Week in Deliciousness

Oh no you didn't, Shameless Chef.​Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've finally settled our lawsuit against Beck for heeding his advice to "get crazy with the Cheez Whiz." Ah, those were crazier, dumber times. We started the week off well enough with the fi ... More >>

David Dow, Of UH And Death Row, Gets Some Book-Selling Help From The New York Times

​For years, UH professor David Dow has been Houston's most famous advocate against the death penalty. He's the go-to guy for quotes, and the mere mention of his name tends to rile up those who support lethal injunction (and any other method the government uses for killing convicts).He's written a ... More >>

This Week in Deliciousness

God, there could be anything in there. You first. No, please, we insist. Let us know if it's filled with spiders, because that means we're having that stupid nightmare again.​ Welcome back to the weekly round-up here at Eating Our Words, where we've built a little fort out of our vast stockpil ... More >>

Overkill? No Such Thing

Motörhead's Lemmy Kilmister has never been one to mince riffs — or words.

The Blue Planet Live!

The Houston Symphony goes deep-sea fishing (musically speaking, of course)

Eyeballin': John Lennon & the Plastic Ono Band Live in Toronto '69

It's a story well-told in Beatles lore. Reeling from the Fab Four's unraveling, a bored John Lennon accepted an invitation to perform at the Toronto Rock 'n Roll Revival show in September 1969. He quickly formed an ad hoc group of friends (wife Yoko Ono, Eric Clapton on guitar, Klaus Voorman on bass ... More >>

Lost and Found Summer Art Workshop

The Blaffer Gallery hosts a 3D art-making session for kids

Crawfish Season's Tail End

The bugs get bigger and the prices lower as the season comes to a close.

Reading Rainbow: Inkheart

Nothing like a bad book adaptation to turn kids on to the written word

Houston’s First Annual Magnificent Seven All Out Ice Sculpting

Houston’s Reverend Butter hosts an all out fight to be the frozen king

Slideshow: HEB Thanksgiving Day Parade in Downtown Houston

Low-riders, art cars, SpongeBob, Santa Claus, D-list celebs, marching bands, stick-fighting Sikhs and plump Shriners in souped-up go-carts -- where else could it be but the HEB Thanksgiving Day Parade? And although we lack quality photographic proof -- amazingly, even Sheila Jackson Lee was there. ... More >>

Free First Sundays: Family Flicks

The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston hosts four kid-friendly films

Bayousphere

What Else Is New?

Our top DVD picks scheduled for release this week

Keith Reynolds

A Howling Howitzer

Our top DVD picks for the week of January 11

Our top DVD picks for the week of November 2

Forget the Food

Go to La Strada for Sunday brunch, and the fiesta will leave you wanting more

Aboard Game

Zathura sweeps you into its alternate reality

Our top DVD picks for the week of September 27

Double Ax

Eric Johnson and Adrian Belew fret for you at Club V

Lovable Lesbian Activist

Nancy Ford: a journalist and comedian committed to gay causes

Butt In

Rugrats run amok at the H-E-B Children's Festival

Radio Daze

One man, one jambox and four walls. For 24 hours.

Houston Resolutions

Ten ways to make our town a better place

Fahrenheit 2004

Remembering the movies that heated up cinemas this year

Hip to Be SquarePants

There's nothing absurd about the appeal of SpongeBob's first movie

The Passion of the Cruise

Me-sci-ah offers truth, celebrity and the Scientology way

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

Signs of Ignorance

Just chop 'em where it says "Do Not Chop," boys

Purple Performer

"Barney's Colorful World" brings the whole world to Houston

Best Children's Bookstore

Blue Willow Books