Steve Austin

R.I.P. Paul Bearer, 1954-2013: The Definitive Video Anthology Of His WWE Career

In news that when transcribed sounds like some sort of weird mix between a scene from Inception and a webcam installed in Vince McMahon's brain, William Moody, an actual trained mortician turned wrestling manager by the name of "Paul Bearer" and longtime WWE manager of the legendary Undertaker, died ... More >>

Saturday Night: Brantley Gilbert at Reliant Stadium

Brantley Gilbert Reliant Stadium March 2, 2013 The specter of Honey Boo Boo hovered over Brantley Gilbert Saturday at RodeoHouston. If one single human being apart from the not-so-pint-sized TLC reality star who embodies the word "redneckognize," it's the man responsible for the song "Kick It In th ... More >>

Fan Fighting League! It's FFL Playoff Time! Falcons Fans Pummel 49er Fan (w/ VIDEO..and Pepper Spray!)

When it comes to playoff time in the NFL, we know tensions can run high. They especially run high when you root for one of the chokiest of choking dog home teams in recent history, and yes, I'm looking right at you, Atlanta. On the heels of the Falcons' most recent playoff collapse, a 28-24 home lo ... More >>

Action Movies Don't Have to Suck

A lament for lost carnage - and coherence.

In Honor Of Tonight's RAW 1000, The Definitive Timeline Of WWE's Victory In The Monday Night Wars (w/ VIDEO)

I don't know that any television product has changed the way we visually consume it more times than professional wrestling. For a majority of its history (which I am counting as the period from "dawn of time" until around 1978 or so), syndicated television was basically a weekly commercial for whate ... More >>

Top 10 Houston Rappers & Their Wrestler Counterparts

Since the days of Hulkamania, I've been a wrestling fan. That's not slandering anybody who gave up on the attraction or entertainment aspect after the second-generation boom in the late '90s, that's just me once again self-deprecating while tossing off a few knife-edged chops in defense. Take that, ... More >>

Squared Circle: Top 5 Songs About Pro Wrestling

Although the wrestling boom of the late '90s is a fading memory, the absurd mix of sport and theater continues on in bingo halls and arenas across the country. Every night, under the bright lights, someone is trying to avoid being hit with a steel chair. It should come as no surprise that there are ... More >>

Pau Gasol Thoughts, My Texans Prediction and Other Weekend Best Bets

Pau Gasol: The closest he'll get to Rocket red.​On November 23, the Texans signed quarterback Kellen Clemens to take over third-string duties. On December 4, the Texans signed Jake Delhomme and two days later they cut Clemens. I never thought there would be a less satisfying era for a Houston ... More >>

The Four Best Final Fours of the "One Shining Moment" Era (w/ VIDEO)

Hopefully more shining and less Hudson this year​Some of you mistook my piece on Monday as my not being excited for the Final Four this weekend in Houston. That couldn't be further from the truth. I am incredibly excited to have the event here in our town, for a couple reasons: 1. I'm a Con ... More >>

10 Music Stories We Wish We'd Ignored This Year

​We in the alternative media - not necessarily the Houston Press and/or Rocks Off, not all the time - enjoy calling out our mainstream brethren. Whether it's ten books that didn't make The New York Times' "Best of 2010" list, or "10 Stories Our Print Version Accidentally Overlooked," us "under ... More >>

The 7 Basic WWE Metaphors For Real Life Situations (w/ video)

Let's get ready to....examine life!!!​I'm working on my 2009-2010 NBA Preview which should be done by tomorrow. I hope that some of you will cut me slack given that a whopping three games will be in the books by the time it gets posted here on Hair Balls, including the Rockets opener against the L ... More >>

Twilight of the Bods

Sly and the family Stallone get nostalgic for their legacy of ­brutality in The Expendables.

The Fireman's Wife

Nikki Araguz, formerly Justin Purdue, clashes with family over her late husband's legacy.

Game Time: Ken Griffey, Jr.: Baseball's Tracy McGrady?

Not as good as Tom Gordon. Who?​I'm not sure if the back-burnering of Ken Griffey, Jr.'s sudden retirement yesterday speaks more to the magnitude of the Jim Joyce/Armando Galarraga aborted perfect game fiasco or just how far the perception of Griffey as a sure-fire lock of a future Hall of Famer h ... More >>

Game Time: Kentucky Derby 2010 Infield Olympics (Includes Mud-Wrestling Videos)

We guess Hunter S. Thompson was right -- the Kentucky Derby really is vile and depraved​I'm not sure what it says about the type of summer we're going to have here in Houston when an embedded video of 30 hornets wrecking a shop and mass-murdering 30,000 bees in a blog post about the Kentucky Derby ... More >>

Game Time: My Five-Point Plan To Make Tiger Woods Popular Again

Ever since the sultry stories of Tiger Woods' "other life" started to leak out after Thanksgiving, the attempts to rebuild Tiger's image have gone from predictable.... ...to even more predictable.... ...to downright creepy.... (Can I coin the phrase "Nike-rophilia" for the act of using a dea ... More >>

Game Time: Brad Mills Shows Bald Is Beautiful

​The biggest story locally this week has probably been the Astros hiring of Brad Mills. While some see it as the dawning of a new era for the Astros, I for one am sad to see the pageant that was Star Search 2009 end.So many memories...watching Drayton and Tal parade all ten candidates around...hea ... More >>

AC/DC to Piledrive Wrestlemania

Daniel KramerDo people still watch professional wrestling? We stopped watching when the Rock left to make awful mummy movies and Stone Cold Steve Austin started fighting women instead of other dudes in black Speedos. That, and we graduated high school. Nonetheless, World Wrestling Entertainm ... More >>

The Condemned

Stone Cold is hot, but The Condemned's hypocrisy is not

Impossibly Passable

Gridiron Gang

Heavily padded football movie hits all the familiar notes

Wars, Penguins and Gays: Oh, My!

The year in review

Lyin' Scion

How deep is this Toyota subsidiary's love of hip-hop?

Hip-hop Hoedown

Bavu Blakes rides into town on Blazing Saddles

A Tall Order

The Rock tries on Joe Don Baker's shoes for size, and they don't quite fit

Reality Bites, Slams and Spears

The WWE floods Houston with Bad Blood

Nightmare Before Christmas

The Voodoo Organist brings his Beelzebub blues to town

Wham, Bam, Thank You, McMahon

Wrestlemania X-Seven enters the ring

Ring Dings

Bound for the World Wrestling Federation or not, these folks learn to take their lumps at Texas All-Star Wrestling