Steve Martin

Open Letter to the Jerks Who Killed Someone Over a Pair of Air Jordans

Dear A-Holes, Well done. You have reached the absolute lowest point on the criminal totem pole. You are now ranked down there with people who steal Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve and worthless lowlifes who literally take candy from babies. You killed a guy over a pair of shoes. I must confess I ... More >>

Pie-magination: 5 Improbable Pizza Pies

Considered from a local, regional, national and international perspective, the world is home to a great variety of pizzas. From authentic to fusion to deep dish to Sicilian-thin, the term "pizza" covers all manner of sins. I think that we owe it to ourselves, as a pizza-obsessed nation, to do bett ... More >>

Unscripted: Top 10 Actor/Musician Collaborations

Johnny Depp and Marilyn Manson have been hanging out a lot lately. The actor joined the antichrist onstage a couple of weeks ago at the Revolver Golden Gods Awards show in L.A., and played guitar on "Sweet Dreams" and "Beautiful People." Depp also collaborated with Manson on a cover of Carly Simon' ... More >>

The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here! The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here!

In the timeless Steve Martin comedy The Jerk, there's a famous scene where Martin's character Navin R. Johnson sprints across the parking lot to snag a copy of the new phone book to confirm that, indeed, his name and phone number are included. When he is able to find his name he screams that inclus ... More >>

7 Gifts for Your Nerdy Little Audiophile

In a classic bit of stand up comedy, Steve Martin described his obsessive search for the best stereo system of the day. He kept adding more and more speakers until he finally reached the "google-phonic" stereo with the closest number of speakers to infinity, which, like all the rest, sounded like sh ... More >>

Meatloaf Tacos at Good 2 Go Taco in Dallas

The meatloaf taco, left, is topped with a sweet Sriracha ketchup.​This year, Good 2 Go Taco won a Best of Dallas® award from our sister paper, the Dallas Observer, for best menu expansion. Until very recently, the women behind Good 2 Go -- Jeana Johnson and Colleen O'Hare -- were selling thei ... More >>

For Tyler Perry's Birthday, a Comprehensive History of Black Men in Drag

That's a man, baby.​Happy birthday, Tyler Perry. The media mogul is celebrating his 41st with the news that he topped Forbes list of highest paid men in entertainment: Thanks to five movies he has cranked out over the past two years and two TV series, Perry earned $130 million between May 20 ... More >>

Wildfire Relief: The 8 Best Firefighter Movies

​This wildfire stuff is getting ridiculous. The entire state of Texas is experiencing drought, categorized as "extreme" or "exceptional" in 95 percent of the state. Severe lack of rain high winds and high pressure = the fires currently ravaging Bastrop and Montgomery counties. Firefighters ... More >>

On-Campus Houston Concerts Now Ancient History

​ For lots more posters from Hofheinz, see below and our slideshow. Essentially, universities in Houston don't have rock concerts anymore. In fact, pretty much all across America, institutions of higher learning are focusing less on bringing in live entertainment for students and more on bui ... More >>

Ten Bizarro Christmas-Carol Covers

​Thanks to holiday-themed compilations like A Very Special Christmas and Little Steven's Christmas A Go-Go, we often hear our favorite modern artists putting their spin on holiday classics. But for those who are tired of forcing Mariah Carey's eight-octave "All I Want For Christmas" on their f ... More >>

10 Sequels That Don't Need To Happen

Please god, no...​For those who've been pining for the return of the "Blue Steel" and the "Magnum," your patience is about to be rewarded: Ben Stiller is dead in the middle of promoting "Little Fockers," out Dec. 22, but he's already got his eye on yet another sequel: "Zoolander 2." Stiller ... More >>

Panto Pinocchio

Open Up And Say Ahhh: An Oral Surgery Playlist

​If you're reading this around the time it's published, Rocks Off will once again be in the dentist's chair. This has been something of a recurring theme for us this summer, as we have been trying to reverse years of neglecting our poor gums by undergoing several surgical procedures that do no ... More >>

Top Eight Weirdest Saturday Night Live Musical Moments

​This past Saturday was Steve Martin's birthday and, if you're old enough, you may remember back to a time when the snow-capped comedian/actor/musician was more than just a comedy archaeologist, exhuming the corpses of classic comic franchises and defiling the shit out of them. No, he actually ... More >>

Blogging From Bonnaroo: Damien Marley and Nas, Tori Amos, Steve Martin

Photo by Mark C. Austin/See a slideshow​Houston artist Tyagaraja recently won the Ford Fiesta Team Houston Battle of The Bands, the grand prize of which was a trip to perform at the Bonnaroo music festival in Tennessee. Meghan Hendley, keyboardist/vocalist for Tyagaraja, reports back to us wit ... More >>

Which Actors Can Hack It As Musicians?

​Hollywood Shuffle got word Thursday that Blues Brother and Saturday Night Live alumnus Dan Aykroyd will be at the downtown Spec's this afternoon from 3-7 p.m. to sign bottles of his new vodka, Conehead Crystal Head. Aykroyd is in town to act as Grand Marshal for Saturday's Art Car Parade. Sat ... More >>

Baldwin, Streep & Steve Martin -- Three Old Pros Having Fun: New On DVD

Warning: Includes flagrant use of marijuana by old(er) people​Out today on DVD is the Meryl Streep/Steve Martin/Alec Baldwin triangle It's Complicated by writer/director Nancy Meyers (Something's Gotta Give and The Holiday). Actually the story isn't very complicated at all. Jane (Streep) is a woma ... More >>

Steve Martin & the Steep Canyon Rangers

How Not To Give a Public Apology: A Video Primer for Tiger Woods

After months of anticipation, The Fallen One Tiger Woods will finally speak publicly this morning about his sex addiction (or at least, his addiction to having sex with an assortment of bar skanks and porn actresses). Don't expect pointed queries from a variety of media outlets, Woods won't be takin ... More >>

Most. Boring. Oscars. Ever.

Ugh! The only interesting thing about the whole damn show was the realization that Goldie Hawn looks like Mickey Rourke. Stop with the work, lady! Seriously. God love Hugh Jackman, but this is not the Tonys. Could that Beyonce "Best of the Musicals" number been any more cheese ball? I have exp ... More >>

Rotation: Steve Martin's The Crow

Steve Martin The Crow: New Songs for the 5-String Banjo (40 Productions) www.stevemartin.com The scenario sounds laughable: comedian Steve Martin, a banjo and 15 original bluegrass songs. Is he kidding? Actually, no. Most of The Crow plays with as straight a face as Joaquin Phoenix ha ... More >>

For Groundhog Day -- The Five Best Movie Rodents

February 2 marks that special days in Western civilization, in which we commemorate the mystical powers of a being emerging from a hole in the ground. No, I'm not talking about Easter, but rather Groundhog Day. And what better way to mark the annual resurrection of Punxsutawney Phil then listing som ... More >>

Cyrano de Bergerac

The Alley Theatre stages the woes of a large-nosed soldier in love

Logic Goes Out with the Intrigue in Ho-Hum "Thriller" Traitor

Spy Vs. Why

“Perspectives 161: Tim Lee”

Tim Lee steals celebrities’ identities on film

No Drama for Baby Mama

Neither Tina Fey nor Amy Poehler seem the least bit invested in their surrogate mommy comedy

Seven Deadly Sins: Celebrity Edition

The Girl Next Door, Ford at Fox, Saturday Night Live: The Complete Second Season, The Wire: The Complete Fourth Season

DVDs

Seriously, Hil, LYLAS

South By Southwest

Kitty Litter

Steve Martin's Pink Panther piddles on its predecessor

Wars, Penguins and Gays: Oh, My!

The year in review

Wild, Then Crazy

Steve Martin's May-December romance turns unseasonably cold

Festival Crashers

A film fest descends on the Capital City

Excess Hollywood

In the season of sequels and Happy Meal toys, '05 may be a pleasant surprise.

Capsule Reviews

Our critics weigh in on local theater

Knotty Knickers

The Underpants goes down in wild-and-crazy-guy style

Pantie Parade

The Alley Theatre unveils Steve Martin's Underpants

Season's Greetings

With summer almost over, the theater scene's heating up

Phat Chance

Steve Martin almost gets Down with Queen Latifah, but they mostly strike out

Dental Damned

David Atkins's Novocaine numbs even Steve Martin

Murphy Magic

Eddie saves the comic Bowfinger from Steve's blahs

Out-of-Steppers

Steve Martin misses the spark in this remake

Exodus Lost

Prince of Egypt goes wrong with Good Book rewrites

Money Changes Everything

In The Spanish Prisoner, even David Mamet's dialogue falls flat

Press Picks

Family Matters

Lounge Act

A Sad Fate