Steven Seagal

Action Movies Don't Have to Suck

A lament for lost carnage - and coherence.

Pop Rocks: Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Gina Carano

Who doesn't love a woman with an Uzi? Oh, right: the Palestinians.​Steve Soderbergh, the director of Sex, Lies, and Videotape, Traffic, and The Limey has always had an experimental streak. This has come out particularly in recent years, with a remake of Solaris, something called The Girlfriend ... More >>

The World's Shittiest Superhero

Four years of being The Nightfly.

Pop Rocks: Totally Serious Career Advice for Lindsay Lohan

And starring as "Vampira"...​Hey, haven't heard much about Lindsay Lohan recently, maybe she's finally on the right...oh: Lindsay Lohan will be headed back to court -- yet again. During a hearing in Los Angeles Wednesday, Judge Stephanie Sautner ordered the actress' probation revoked, and ru ... More >>

How Long Will DMX Stay Out Of Jail This Time?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday, even on national holidays, Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Paul Wall, Delo, GT Mayne, Show, Mr. Wired Up Oh Boy ... More >>

Blades of Gory

When it's not LOL-funny, ­Robert Rodriguez's Machete is downright dull.

Aftermath: Dick Dale, Merry Prankster And Heavy-Metal Grandpa, At HOB

Photos by Brittanie Shey​ Dick Dale is the grandfather of surf-rock, if your grandfather dressed like a 70-year-old Steven Segal, practically invented heavy metal (his 100-watt amp goes all the way to eleventy) and turned a traditional Greek song into a 1960s anthem. Like most grandfathers, he's m ... More >>

Nightfly: Hard to Kill

Is Nouveau Antique Art Bar leading a Midtown renaissance?

OMG 4 Rlz, No Texting While Driving In Bellaire Or West U

​Feel free to re-tweet while you're running over slow grandmas crossing the Bellaire Triangle, because next month you won't be able to do so -- the cities of Bellaire and West U have banned texting and web browsing while driving.In a double-header of government activity unmatched since Germany and ... More >>

Theme Songs for the Most Annoying Characters In the Star Wars Universe, Including Whiny Emo Bitch Anakin Skywalker

www.flickr.com/photos/fuzzcat/And you thought your office was annoying.​ Jar Jar Binks, Pratfalling Mongoloid Looking like some kind of unholy cross-breed between a frog and a duck, Jar Jar was the earliest indication that The Phantom Menace was not going to be up to snuff. The Gungan's antics wer ... More >>

Breaking News: Gunplay at Trae Day

Ninety-eight percent of Trae Day went exactly as advertised. There were moonwalks and video-game trailers for the kids, local merchants selling various CDs and DVDs, a few actual celebrities and a general feeling of community pride throughout. Then they started shooting. At approximately 8:30 p.m. - ... More >>

Screen Plays

Leon Hendrix Is a Voodoo Child

Being Jimi 's baby brother can be a tough row to hoe, especially if you play guitar

An Elevated Conversation with Perseph One and AndAcc

Oh Slippin'

Oh, Baby Baby

There's a lot of money to be made in adoptions. Jennalee Ryan moved to Texas to continue doing that.

That Sinking Feeling

Coast Guard epic succumbs to watery clichés

True Blue Confessions

Let's join Madonna for a friendly round of Celebrity Breach of Confidentiality

The Princess Diaries

The HMNS presents a phenomenon that just won't Di

Hell to Pay

Constantine shuns its comic-book roots for real depth as Reeves returns in black

Pop-Punk Penance

A cool kid seeks heavenly redemption

Rockin' the Cradle

DMX and Jet Li get down 2 Grave business

Straining Day

Narc desperately struggles to prove its grit

Prepare for Landing

The appropriately named Jet Li may prove Americans are finally primed for Far East mayhem

Train to Disaster

Lover Men

Three films offer differing takes on the myth of the romantic hero

Killer Elite