Steven Tyler

Shallow Pool: Adding Musicians (and Silly Theme Songs) to TV's Splash

As often as I've been complemented on my taste in music, I've been ridiculed for the horrible television programs I sometimes watch. Case in point: my DVR's arteries were recently clogged with episodes of the ABC celebrity competition, Splash. For those who may have missed it, Splash was a taped an ... More >>

Who Should the New American Idol Judges Be?

This past week, when American Idol concluded its twelfth season by crowning Candice Glover (who edged out Woodville's Kree Harrison), it was also announced that the show's latest lineup of judges is kaput. Randy Jackson went first, followed by Nicki Minaj. We're guessing that leaves Keith Urban and ... More >>

Living on the Edge: 10 More Onstage Oopsies

Rock stars are just like the rest of us. They eat, love, poop, age, and sometimes they just embarrassingly go ass over tea kettle. Rewind: When Gravity Attacks: 13 Memorable Onstage Stumbles The difference between them and us, besides, you know, money, fame, security, and the like, is that when w ... More >>

Say No to Cee Lo: 5 Musicians Who Should Get Sitcoms Instead

This past week, it was announced that Cee Lo Green and NBC are working together to develop a new autobiographical sitcom based on and starring the soul singer. This is, of course, a terrible idea. Sure, Cee Lo is a great singer and he's done some acting, but would his life really make a great sitcom ... More >>

Top 5 People Who Should Be Judging American Idol

Over the weekend American Idol, struggling to remain relevant in the face of the televised singing-competition series it spawned like The Voice and X Factor, announced its final judges' panel for the upcoming 12th season that begins in January. According to Entertainment Weekly, joining the previous ... More >>

Last Night: Aerosmith & Cheap Trick at Toyota Center

Aerosmith, Cheap Trick Toyota Center July 30, 2012 It always happens. I go into an Aerosmith show full of hate and distrust of laser-lips Steven Tyler and the Aero Posse and end up half-enjoying myself despite all the reservations that the rest of the world pumps into my head. It's like when you a ... More >>

Aerosmith Returns with New Album

Band turns 42 years old.

Years of Refusal: 8 More '80s Icons Who Should Follow Morrissey Into Retirement

Morrissey announced this week that he plans to retire in two years. That's tragic news in some circles, but we think it's a good move. In 2014, he'll turn 55, and the Smiths thing is never happening. How much longer is he supposed to do this? Another ten years 'til he's 65? He's Morrissey, not a Chi ... More >>

Bad Beef: 4 Examples Of Musical Feuds Gone Wrong

Competition is a good thing. It pushes people to work harder and be more creative. That drive to prove to the world that they're the best has lead musicians to some incredible heights. After all, competition gave us Pet Sounds and "Ether." Yet in the '10s, that competitive spirit has been pushed as ... More >>

Aerosmith & Cheap Trick Rock Toyota Center July 30

This morning Aerosmith, the band that wouldn't die (or refuses to go away), announced a Houston stop on this summer's "Global Warming" tour at Toyota Center Monday, July 30. Taking a break from the casino/state-fair circuit, Illinois power-pop heroes Cheap Trick open. Aerosmith is still be rumored ... More >>

Steven Tyler's National Anthem: Not Enough Zoobie-Dee-Dah Or Zippa-Doobie-Sha-Bop?

​I have now watched Steven Tyler's rendition of the National Anthem, that he performed before yesterday's big New England Patriots and Baltimore Ravens championship game, about five times straight. I enjoyed it, because it's Steven Tyler and Steven Tyler is crazy as shit. Just read his recent ... More >>

Patriots Seal AFC Title with a Kiss (w/ AWKWARD Video)

Bal'mer is gonna be tough on Billy Cundiff. Indeed.​The Patriots and the Ravens played a classic AFC championship game yesterday that featured various twists and turns, including a couple of bizarre brain cramps from Pats quarterback Tom Brady, a "turn back the clock" performance by the hefty ... More >>

Not Average Joe: Six Rock and Roll Joes on the Day "Hey Joe" Turns 45

​Despite the fact that he never really had a major "hit" (Electric Ladyland reached number one as an album but he never had a single go higher than 20 in the US) and was terribly under appreciated while he was still alive, Jimi Hendrix is one of the giants of rock and roll. His songs and his g ... More >>

New ZZ Top Tribute Disc Frightens, Titillates, And Confuses Us

Photo By Jim Bricker​If you don't know that Rocks Off is a ZZ Top-friendly place, then you have probably only been reading the blog for the past two or three hours. The two men who run this blog love Billy, Frank, and Dusty with the energy from one thousands suns, and their whole catalog runs ... More >>

Frances Bean Cobain's Sexy Shoot Reminds Us, Once Again, That We Are Old

Photos from hedislimane.com unless otherwise indicatedLittle Frances Bean, all grown up, tatted-up, and smoking cigarettes.​There's a line from Knocked Up I think of often these days, when the doorman of a swanky nightclub tells big sister Debbie, "I can't let you in 'cause you're old as fuck. ... More >>

Ryan Seacrest Begets a Music Festival... And The Apocalypse

Mason Lankford said, "There will come a day when we forget the Rapture ever even happened," but Rocks Off is keeping an eye out for signs of our impending Armageddon. We were wrong last time, but we're totally right this time! Jyle Dupuis​Ryan Seacrest is a towering figure in the entertainmen ... More >>

Idol Beat: American Idiots

Spoiler alert: the smug one wins.​Thanks to Shea Serrano for taking the bullet yesterday. After what felt like eons, the 10th season of American Idol lurched to its inevitable anticlimax last night. It was as especially torturous affair, stretching well over two hours and mixing performances ... More >>

14 Things You Didn't Know About Rick Springfield

2. Rick Springfield is a stone cold sex fiend... ​In recent years, many musicians have put down their instruments (at least temporarily) and picked up the computer keyboard to produce some pretty revelatory memoirs. And in one case, perhaps too revelatory - Billy Joel recently pulled the plug ... More >>

Idol Beat: Brought To You By The Church Of Scientology

​I thought I imagined it at first, or was suffering the onset of hallucinations brought upon by sleep deprivation, strong drink, and three consecutive nights of watching Steven Tyler undress the audience with his eyes. But for maybe the first time since Season 10 of Idol began, I actually rewo ... More >>

Idol Beat: I'm About To Have A Nervous Breakdown

​My head really hurts...sorry, after last night's shenanigans, I couldn't help breaking out the Black Flag. Have you ever had one of those really bad nightmares, the kind that is so horrifying it wakes you up multiple times during the night? And even though your subconscious is trying to offe ... More >>

Idol Beat: If You're Going To San Francisco, Try Not To Be A Beardo In A Sports Coat

​The surest way to piss off Steven Tyler - apart from being Joe Perry - is to butcher a Beatles song, which is the sin Dave Combs committed last night. But let's be honest, he didn't do *that* horrible a job. The former(?) Aerosmith front man is just a lot more forgiving if you profess your l ... More >>

Idol Beat: Austin, So Much To Answer For

​Rocks Off would like to apologize for last week's outrageous behavior by Pete Vonder Haar. He has been warned, and assures us he will never compare Marc Anthony to an extra from Dawn of the Dead again. Steven Tyler dropped an F-bomb on this week's audition episode, which definitely warrants ... More >>

Idol Beat: Viva Nash Vegas

​I was randomly scrolling back through past Idol Beats last night, doing my best to ignore mentally unbalanced dental hygienist Christine McCaffrey's butchering of "I Hope You Dance," when I realized something. The American Idol beat for Rocks Off is basically the Defense Against the Dark Arts ... More >>

Idol Beat: Schlemiel. Schlimazel.

​So it seems the only difference between the two-hour Wednesday Idols and their one hour counterparts on Thursdays is twice as many "wacky" interludes (über Green Bay Packer fan Megan Frazier is going to make one lucky man...really miserable someday) and a third more shots of Steven Tyler wal ... More >>

Idol Beat: "Home Of Pirates, Drunks And Whores..."

​If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip To the Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississipp. -- The Simpsons I kid. I mean, I haven't always been the biggest fan of the Big Easy, but that's mostly because I used to routinely leave a third of my brain cells and most of the contents of my di ... More >>

Idol Beat: Here We Go Again...

​Finally, after months of anticipation (or dread, depending on your pain tolerance), the new and *cough* "improved" American Idol made its debut. At long last we can start to put an end to the speculation about the show's 10th season: will Jennifer Lopez out-diva Ryan Seacrest? Can the show su ... More >>

10 Music Stories We Wish We'd Ignored This Year

​We in the alternative media - not necessarily the Houston Press and/or Rocks Off, not all the time - enjoy calling out our mainstream brethren. Whether it's ten books that didn't make The New York Times' "Best of 2010" list, or "10 Stories Our Print Version Accidentally Overlooked," us "under ... More >>

Last Night: Aerosmith At Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion

Ed. note: See a slideshow from Thursday night's concert with Aerosmith and Sammy Hagar here. Photos by Groovehouse​Aerosmith Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion August 5, 2010 Remember when you were little and would watch your parents fight around the house? Everyone can relate, unless you grew ... More >>

What Can Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne And Other Stars Claim On Their Taxes?

Photo illustrations by John Seaborn Gray​ Got your taxes done? No? You poor dumb bastard. They won't let you just not do them, you know that, right? Unpleasant as it is, finding out you owe still more money after having paid a sales tax all year, it's nothing compared to what the government will d ... More >>

The 11 Stupidest Events from the World of Music, 2009 Edition

Hi there, 2009. Please have a seat. Are you comfortable? Would you like some coffee, or perhaps a cigarette? No? Okay, good. Let's just cut straight to the point, then. You suck, and frankly we're sick of your bullshit. You were an awful year, filled not just with economic collapse, scary right-wi ... More >>

Mid-Week Match-Up: Communication Breakdown, It's Always The Same

Two key players of two teams decided to break important news in odd ways this week.Steven Tyler, aging frontman for Aerosmith, dropped word that he was quitting the band (maybe; no one's clear) not by calling his bandmates, but by mentioning it to a British interviewer.Tracy McGrady, aging forward f ... More >>

Five Possible Replacements for Steven Tyler In Aerosmith, Including Morrissey

www.irancartoon.ir​The remaining members of Aerosmith yesterday confirmed the news that singer Steven Tyler has left the band, and that they are currently looking for a replacement while Steven pursues glory with "Brand Tyler," whatever the hell that is. Thought Rocks Off has a hard time imagining ... More >>

Aftermath: Depeche Mode's Black and Blue Celebration at The Woodlands

Photos by Eric Sauseda​ Far, far away from the group once known for bubbly synth-pop anthems like "Just Can't Get Enough" and "Everything Counts," Depeche Mode circa 2009 has pressed its small army of keyboards and electronics into the service of primal urges and raw sexuality. Not terribly surpri ... More >>

Pink Floyd, Dr. Dre, Velvet Underground and Other Artists We're Glad Discovered Drugs

It was 45 years ago this past Friday... that Bob Dylan met the Beatles for the first time and, more importantly for Rocks Off's purposes, introduced them to marijuana. While this meeting of musical titans would never lead to any actual musical collaboration or "Monsters of Hippie Rock" series of co ... More >>

Aftermath: ZZ Top and Aerosmith at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion

Photos by Mark C. Austin Make all the Guitar Hero jokes you want. Whatever it is that's kept ZZ Top and Aerosmith in the public eye for almost four decades - video games or beards-n-babes videos, Back to the Future cameos or Michael Bay ballads, bee-stung lips or cheap sunglasses - they've never for ... More >>

Last Call for ZZ Top/Aerosmith Lookalike Contest

Courtesy Tom Degler Rocks Off is a little disappointed we haven't gotten more response to our call for ZZ Top and Steven Tyler lookalikes - we are giving away a four-pack of lawn tickets to Friday's ZZ/Aerosmith show, after all. Yes, it's a little hot for all that facial hair, but we're fairly sure ... More >>

Bayou Beat: Live Nation Goes All In, ZZ Top Tickets Up for Grabs, Meridian Rocks the Sabbath and More

Courtesy of Stephen "Rube" Sager Live Nation has outdone itself on its latest "No Service Fee" Wednesday. All day, $29.99 buys a lawn ticket - one lawn ticket, mind you - parking, all those pesky fees, a hot dog and a soda for any participating show at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. Once they ... More >>

Do You Look Like Aerosmith's Steven Tyler or One of ZZ Top?

Live Nation has come through with a four-pack of lawn tickets to the classic-rock show of the summer, Aerosmith and Houston's own ZZ Top July 18 at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, and Rocks Off sure as hell ain't gonna give this away for some cheap-ass trivia question. Naw, this time we're gonn ... More >>

Idol Beat: The Top Four

Photos by Ray Mickshaw/ FoxMan alive! Jamie Foxx mentored last week, and now guitarist-celeb Slash is in the proverbial American Idol house for "Rock and Roll Week"! Okay, sure, these people have projects and albums to promote, but these still feel like coups. Lot to address, so today I'm skipping t ... More >>

Kimberlie Dykeman

The author of Pure Soapbox comes clean

Aftermath: Metallica at Toyota Center

Photos by Craig Hlavaty / Click here for more Fandom is a funny thing. It can make the stodgiest businessman a KISS makeup wearing teenager from 1975. It can turn your Mom into a wannabe groupie when she gets a little too close to Steven Tyler. You yourself may wake up one tragic morn and grasp th ... More >>

Last Night: Van Halen at Toyota Center

Drenched In Blog: Mental Death

Santana

All That I Am

Rock Floozies Write

Wack peruses some doozies in the groupie tell-all canon

Static

Steven's Lament

The Future of Rock and Roll

We've seen it in a crystal ball and the pictures aren't pretty

Live Shots