TV Land

The Mean, Evil, Bored & Ashamed Faces on 13 NFL Team Logos, Ready for Their Close-Ups

Our long national nightmare, otherwise known as the football offseason, is nearing an end. Exhibition Preseason games are in full swing, for better or worse. (If you watched all -- or even most of -- the Cowboys' 3-0 win over Oakland Monday, seek help.) Still, the appearance of the pads and unis i ... More >>

Skits: This Week In Music-Biz WTFery -- Katy Perry, B.o.B., Etc.

The music business fuckery continues. A game so destructive it only benefits the top dogs (and even so, temporarily), while the actual players continue to eat sand out of peanuts. Who's winning? Who's losing? Dig in for this week's music-bidness shenanigans.

The Week in TV: The Muppets Now Control Everything

Not much happened last week, what with everyone taking extra naps and blaming it on the turkey. Still, it wasn't a totally uneventful week in TV Land: • Having been dragged back into the mainstream spotlight by Jason Segel, the Muppets are now eyeing a return to TV, the medium that first brought ... More >>

This Week in TV: Football Season is Over

Friday Night Lights: Go Lions​One football season ended, another warmed up, and I am this close to canceling cable and just using the Internet. This was the week in TV Land: • I have never wanted a team to win a game as badly as I wanted the Lions to beat the Panthers in Friday's season fi ... More >>

The Week in TV: Ellen Degeneres Realizes American Idol Sucks

Rob Lowe will soon join the cast of Parks and Recreation.​The dog days are upon us, the networks are planning for fall, and there's always money in the banana stand. This was the week in TV Land: • The Television Critics Association summer press tour has been going on for the past few days ... More >>

The Week In TV: Who Watched Mad Men?

We didn't watch it. But, hey, at least we're honest.​The best thing I watched last week was an airing of Ratatouille on ABC Family. This was the week in TV Land: • I'll tell you right now: I didn't watch Mad Men. "BUT DAN," I can hear you shouting even though you're reading this at work, " ... More >>

The Week In TV: Louis C.K. vs. Mississippi

The same face we made when trying to comprehend why people would voluntarily live in Mississippi.​The weather's terrible, I'm living off DVR'd episodes of Community, and it's possible this is all just a dream. This was the week in TV Land: • AT&T reached a deal with Rainbow Media last week ... More >>

The Week In TV: Enjoy Hulu While It Lasts

The good stuff won't be free for much longer.​My backyard flooded, I went half-blind on fireworks, and I am exponentially losing my agility. This was the week in TV Land: • As if to taunt my very desires, Hulu announced last week that it's launching Hulu Plus, a paid version of the site th ... More >>

The Week In TV: What Do You Watch During The Summer?

With Treme off the air, what are you going to watch the rest of the summer?​Blah blah basketball blah blah soccer blah blah I miss real shows. This was the week in TV Land: • Treme wrapped its first season last night with an episode that was probably among its best so far, though it also hi ... More >>

The Week In TV: Boardwalk Empire And Bravo, Two Ends Of A Spectrum

This guy has to be stopped.​The Cup is upon us, the spring season is definitely behind us, and I'm warning you: Don't tease the panther. This was the week in TV Land: • So, the World Cup started the other day. I was with friends at a Mexican restaurant when the USA-England game began, whic ... More >>

The Week In TV: Back For Another Round

Lost may be gone, but these other shows are returning for another season.​Summer is upon us, television is a rocky wasteland, and you're probably out grilling right now. This was the week in TV Land: • Summer's a weird time for TV viewers and often a terrible one for TV fans: There are lo ... More >>

The Week In TV: Lost and Found

​I'm tired, hungry, and probably just experiencing all this in a pleasant purgatory of my own making. This was the week in TV Land: • So, Lost ended. I'd be lying if I said I was completely pleased with the way it went down. I wasn't expecting bursts of exposition to answer every little de ... More >>

The Week In TV: Just Let The Office Go With Dignity, Please

​The humidity is back, the TV season's almost over, and I need a non-gay way to ask you to go camping with me. This was the week in TV Land: • I saw Conan O'Brien in Austin on Friday. He took his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour through the state briefly, stopping in ... More >>

Right-Wing Porn

Blogger disseminates filth.

The Week In TV: Betty White and the Rich Dicks

I've got clear eyes, a full heart, and can't help but notice that you seem pretty practiced at putting on panties with one hand while holding a gun. This was the week in TV Land: • Because Facebook now controls us all, Betty White hosted Saturday Night Live a couple days ago after the booming po ... More >>

The Week In TV: Lost Takes A Break, South Park Takes A Dive

​The sun chased the rain, I can feel summer coming, and I was greeted at the door by a rabbi that looks like Joaquin Phoenix. This was the week in TV Land: • So, this is dumb: South Park has been forced by Viacom to bend to the will of Muslim extremists. The show's 200th episode was a two- ... More >>

Chron's Feelings Are Hurt

HBO drama didn't celebrate Houston as best-est place.

The Week In TV: NBC Comedies Are Finally Back

We've missed you.​My parking lot's flooded, I had my first crawfish on Friday, and I feel like funkin' it up. This was the week in TV Land: • Ah, the joys and frustrations of the endless news cycle: Not a couple hours after last week's round-up column went live -- in which I ruminated on C ... More >>

The Week In TV: So Long, Julia Sugarbaker

Even with my dependable shows in reruns, it feels good to be back in the stern embrace of David Simon. This was the week in TV Land: • Thank God for Hulu, you know? The video site is the only reason I actually keep up with Saturday Night Live most weeks. The show's had a real hard-on for tweens ... More >>

The Week In TV: The Walking Dead (The New Series, Not Charlie Sheen)

​I'm slightly sunburned, spoiled by three-day weekends, and trying to figure out whether I want an iPad. This was the week in TV Land: • So, the iPad came out, as you have heard about from every news outlet imaginable, and several TV apps have already been announced. Yahoo's entertainment ... More >>

The Week In TV: New Cable Shows Worth Watching

​I'm confused by the weather, recovered from South By Southwest, and forbidden from re-enacting Ghost. This was the week in TV Land: • I'm a week behind on HBO's The Pacific. This is my own fault; between this show and others, sometimes things get put on the back burner. The good news is t ... More >>

The Week In TV: Mad About Mad Men Barbie Dolls

The Barbie version of Joan appears to have just escaped from Dachau.​I have no idea what day it is, my veins run thick with taquitos, and I took my shirt off in public. This was the week in TV Land: • I'm a little amazed at the amount of TV I was able to watch this past week considering I' ... More >>

The Week In TV: Sharktopus!

The return of Rousseau Claire!​I'm not sure what the medal count is, I'm definitely ready for spring, and I look good in an elegant ladies' pantsuit. This was the week in TV Land: • In 2006, I watched the final four episodes of Arrested Development as they aired on Fox opposite the opening ... More >>

The Week In TV: Jay Leno's Flagpin And, For Some Ungodly Reason, An Animated Joe Dirt

​Winter's back, the sun is gone, and Fox just put another Joss Whedon show out to pasture. This was the week in TV Land:• So, Jay Leno went on Oprah's show last week to talk about his side of the whole late-night debacle. (Out of every weird thing about the interview, tops was the American flag ... More >>

The Week In TV: Hope for Haiti (and Coco)

Move over failwhale: NBC ushers in the era of the failcock.​I'm loving the weather, thinking of overthrowing Comcast, and still humming "Free Bird." This was the week in TV Land: • So, I'm pretty sure we all watched Conan O'Brien's last episode as host of The Tonight Show. Nielsen ratings ... More >>

The Week In TV: We're With Coco

​The weekend's gone, the sun is out, and the only marathon I did this weekend consisted of Whataburger taquitos. This was the week in TV Land: • So! Conan and Jay are probably not going to make buddy comedies together any time soon, or ever. The growing animosity between the two -- mainly ... More >>

This Week In TV: NBC Imploded. Again

​I had no idea Houston could get this cold, I'm tired of reruns, and I still think your Batman voice sounds like Cookie Monster. This was the week in TV Land: • So, NBC imploded. Again. As last week drew to a close, rumors started spreading that NBC was going to reorganize its late-night s ... More >>

This Week In TV: The Return of 24 and American Idol, Fox's Advertising Revenue

It's the middle of winter, we're about to get new shows, and this is the year I make contact. This was the week in TV Land. • So, New Year's happened. This was my first year not to ring it in with a regular party of friends who get dangerously drunk and watch the ball drop on Telemundo. But my ... More >>

This Week In TV: Joss Whedon Is A Free Man

It's been nice knowing you, Dollhouse. Now how about that Serenity sequel, Whedon?​It's way too cold outside, I can't believe I'm back at work, and I've already braved one after-Christmas sale. This was the week in TV Land: • I watched the finale of The Sing-Off. That's how little there was ... More >>

The Week in TV: We Can Only Mock the Living

​It's almost Christmas, I'm tired of shopping, and I keep yelling "sharkfarts" at everyone. This was the week in TV Land: • Most of the major shows and networks were in repeats this week, which threw my viewing habits off a bit. It's not like I only watch the big four networks; in fact, I ... More >>

This Week in TV: Last Flight of the Conchords

I'm tired of shopping, ready for sunshine, and I need you to bring me some pens. This was the week in TV Land: • Blah blah blah obligatory paragraph about how awesome Community is. Maybe you're tired of reading it, but I'm not tired of writing it. It's consistently good, and it just keeps gettin ... More >>

This Week In TV: Horrible, Horrible People

I'm recovered from the snow, I'm trying to convince people that "Dick in a Box" qualifies as Christmas music, and I've got a hole in my heart from eating batteries. This was the week in TV Land: • 30 Rock was cute this week, though the bit about Frank turning into Liz was a little lifeless. But ... More >>

This Week In TV: Idol's Coming, Whether You're Ready or Not

My car's in the shop, I can't figure what season it is, and I don't know what to do about the Indians in the lobby. This was Thanksgiving week in TV Land: • Glee is going bye-bye for a while. The last episode of the year will air on December 9, completing the original 13-episode order, and the s ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: An Osmond Is Crowned

​Sunriiiiiise, sunset Sunriiiiiise, sunset Swiftly flow the days You guys, I can't believe we've come so far together. We've had so many ups and downs, so much laughter and so many tears. When I began the season of Dancing With the Stars, I was but a boy, but now, I am a bitter, wizened ma ... More >>

This Week In TV: Oprah to Resign in 2011, World to End Shortly Thereafter

Tom Cruise is not taking the news well...​The sun's back out, I'm ready for turkey, and I can't believe I sold my DeLorean to Mr. T. This was the week in TV Land: • So, Oprah resigned, but not really, or something. Just to make sure we all have time to prepare our families for the ritualist ... More >>

The Week In TV: Art of the Dushku

We'll always have Bring It On...​I'm waiting for winter, I'm tired of Joseph Fiennes, and I can't stop raving about Wade Boggs' Carpet World. This was the week in TV Land: • I've been a little remiss in advising you to watch Parks and Recreation, which is my bad, as I heard a kid say the o ... More >>

This Week In TV: Miracle Cures From Alien Civilizations

The Yankees won, Doug Hoffman lost, and I'm thinking of joining a neighborhood dad garage band. This was the week in TV Land: • 30 Rock continues to be the quickest comedy on the air and the spiritual descendant of Arrested Development. This week's episode was stuffed with more meta-jokes than ev ... More >>

The Week In TV: Trauma Dies On the Operating Table

It's a beautiful weekend, the rain has stopped, and my Batman voice sounds like Cookie Monster. This was the week in TV Land: • I take nothing but pleasure in the misfortune of the untalented, which is why it's my pleasure to pass along the news that ratings for Comedy Central's The Jeff Dunham S ... More >>

The Week In TV: The World Series Ruins Everything

Parks and Recreation, yet another reason to love NBC​The weather is cool, Halloween is in the air, and I just redesigned the Pontiac Aztec. This is the week in TV Land: • For being a weak network overall and the home to some truly awful medical dramas, NBC can bring the funny. This week it ... More >>

TV Land: 30 Rock Is Back! And Some Other Stuff Happened Too

It was a long week in TV Land, so let's get some Cheesy Blasters and do it to it: • 30 Rock is back! 30 Rock is back! I know that some of you -- most of you? -- probably thought that Texas' victory was the best thing on TV this week, but that's because you're young and don't know much yet. Trus ... More >>

The Week In TV: Seriously. You Need to Watch Community

I know you think the only event of note last week in TV Land was the sad departure of Tom DeLay from Dancing With the Stars. But Dazzle Me Dreamy's punk out was only the beginning. NBC canceled Southland, which is officially the first victim of uber-hack Jay Leno's primetime talk show. Granted, ... More >>

The Week in TV: "I'll Have...A Birthday Cake!"

​It was a pretty fun week in TV Land: Most of the fall programs are beginning to settle in, the CW continued its inexplicable existence, and David Letterman hit it with some employees. Insert your Worldwide Pants jokes here, and let's get to it! • I won't go into much here about FlashForwa ... More >>

Capsule Stage Reviews: Legally Blonde the Musical, The Man Who Saved New Orleans, The Odd Couple, Puttin' on the Ritz

Capsule Stage Reviews: Arms and the Man, The Man Who Saved New Orleans, The Odd Couple, Taking Flight

Extra! Read All About It

Portrait of an "Old Lady"

And one of the most intriguing personalities of the 20th century

Cursed

Bewitched delivers just what you'd expect: absolutely nothing

Fallen Angels

Charlie's gang gives good jiggles but no plot