Subject:

Ted Cruz

  • News

    April 10, 2014

    Rick Perry Is the King of Pay-to-Play

    Rick Perry's employment agency and McCutcheon simplified.

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2014

    Ted Cruz is Writing a Memoir: Ways He Can Make It Even More Awesome

    It's finally happening! After all his time in Washington D.C. (he's been there almost two whole years now, folks) Sen. Ted Cruz is finally going to put pen to paper and write about his own oh-so-personal experiences fighting the good fight against pretty much everything that might get him media cove ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 8, 2014

    Feel Like Cracking Down on A-Holes Who Torture Show Horses?

    The Texas chapter of the Humane Society of the United States is joining in the push to pass federal legislation that would help enforce the ban against "soring" -- hurting show horses to exaggerate a high-stepping gait. The barbaric practice, which we'll describe in a moment, was barred by legisla ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2014

    Ted Cruz Goes Obamacare Trolling and Fails

    As we rolled up to the fourth anniversary of the Affordable Care Act being signed into law, Sen. Ted Cruz couldn't help but take a shot at the program -- which has had plenty of administrative problems since it was kicked off last fall. (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2014

    Rand Paul Calls Ted Cruz on Bashing Their Party

    Lots of people in the Republican party are fed up with Sen. Ted Cruz, but Sen. Rand Paul is the guy who is doing something about it. On Monday, the conservative news website, Breitbart News, published an op-ed by Paul, where the senator from Kentucky took Cruz to task -- without ever actually namin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2014

    Ted Cruz, Most Powerful Texas Republican in the Primaries , Even Though He Wasn't Running

    When Texas kicked off primary season on Tuesday, the most powerful guy involved wasn't on the ballot. Yep, we're talking about Sen. Ted Cruz. Since taking office two years ago, the freshman Tea Party senator has made a name for himself with Dr. Seuss-ian pseudo-filibusters and a habit of bucking ag ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2014

    Ted Cruz in a Psychedelic Video Reading Dr. Seuss

    If you liked -- or at least couldn't stop watching -- Sen. Ted Cruz read Dr. Seuss in the U.S. Senate, have we got a video treat for you. Before he was influencing the Texas primary without even being on the ballot, he was already irritating his fellow Republicans with a fake filibuster that allowed ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2014

    Ted Cruz Diagnoses Washington's Problem (And It's Totally Not Him)

    Sen. Ted Cruz hit a new low -- or high, depending on your perspective -- when he tried to block the bill to increase the debt ceiling last week. Never one to miss an opportunity for more publicity, Cruz popped up on CNN on Wednesday night to discuss why (in the Gospel According to Cruz) he has becom ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 17, 2014

    Cruz, Hated Enough by Republicans, Should Get a Food Tester, ABC News Reporter Says

    Republicans have been at odds with Sen. Ted Cruz for a while now, but his latest stunt seems to have propelled inner-party hatred to new heights, the kind that might require a food taster, according to Jonathan Karl at ABC News. Cruz has spent much of his time in the Senate taking his own very uniq ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2014

    Five Reasons Ted Cruz Should Stay Canadian

    Last year, it was revealed that Sen. Ted Cruz, who was born in Canada, actually holds Canadian citizenship. Cruz subsequently made headlines -- it was a slow news cycle by all accounts -- last August, by vowing to renounce his Canadian citizenship. After all, the theory goes you can't run for presi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 16, 2013

    Pass/Fail: The Education Lobby Begins to Flex Its Muscles

    We need to improve our education system. Every politician, from dog catcher to president, from socialist Bernie Sanders to Ted Cruz, would support this statement. What they really mean though is that we need to improve our nation's inner-city schools; the children of the wealthy are doing just fine. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2013

    Ted Cruz Has His Own Coloring Book (And It's Glorious)

    Sen. Ted Cruz is the gift that keeps on giving. Yes, he's usually out there spouting some Tea Party-infused dogma or doing things that you know must make some of the more mainline Republicans want to smack their heads on the table, but Cruz occasionally does things with a twist of fancy that Hair Ba ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2013

    Another Reason Ted Cruz or Rand Paul Won't Win the GOP Primary in 2016

    It's long been known by political scientists that the longer a party has been out of power -- that is, has not held the presidency -- the more likely it is to nominate a moderate. This is one reason, out of many, that we can expect Chris Christie to emerge as the Republican standard bearer in 2016. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2013

    Ted Cruz Has Been Spending A Lot of Time Iowa: Can He Win the Iowa Caucus?

    Ted Cruz wants to be President of these United States. While this is unlikely -- the party elites dislike him, view him as an electoral disaster waiting to happen and he would never emerge from the "invisible primary" as the GOP elites' choice -- Cruz dares to dream. Thus, he has been spending an in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2013

    Ted Cruz: As Abrasive and Arrogant in College as Now

    Ted Cruz, the id of the Tea Party, is nobody's dummy, academically speaking. Cruz is a double-Ivy grad, who went to Princeton for his undergraduate degree and law school at the venerable Harvard. When the Daily Beast undertook to discover what Cruz was like at Princeton, it reported: several fellow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2013

    ENDA, Cruz/Cornyn and the Wrong Side of History

    Yesterday, the Senate, in a rare show of bi-partisanship, passed ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) 64-32. The bill would ban anti-gay discrimination in the workplace. This highlights that a civil rights struggle we have all been watching slowly but surely come to an end. Of course, not ever ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2013

    It's Never Too Early: 2016 GOP Presidential Frontrunners

    It is, after all, almost 2014. And we know that the beginnings of what political scientists call the "invisible primary" are well underway -- i.e., the GOP (and the Dems, but more on that in another post) elites are already deciding who is a viable presidential candidate and ideologically trustworth ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2013

    Miley Cyrus, Ted Cruz: Last-Second Halloween Advice On Avoiding Costume Hell

    Maybe you've made it this far without totally blowing your Halloween costume and enjoying the newest tradition of the holiday, going viral. But tonight's the big night. Can you make it without entering Costume Hell, not to mention the Ninth Circle of Costume Hell? Some tips: Miley, We Wish We Har ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2013

    Sebelius Says Texas Politics Screwed Up Obamacare

    The Affordable Care Act has been rolled out, the insurance enrollment website went live and it's had a lot of snags in the process. Hair Balls will bet no one knows that better than U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius. She's been out on tour, promoting Obamacare while simulta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    Ted Cruz: Politician, Populist, Lover of The Princess Bride

    Even after it seems that everything about the man has been said, Sen. Ted Cruz finds a way to restart the conversation. This time it's thanks to a cuddly-soft interview with the Des Moines Register. There Houston's own, the slightly Canadian Cruz let the veil fall a bit and showed his true colors, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    UPDATED: Federal Judge Blocked Part of Texas Abortion Law

    UPDATE: Gov. Rick Perry and Sen. Ted Cruz have both issued statements about Yeakel's decision and we're shocked to report they're both agin' it. In other news, the world is round! Puppies are cute! There's gambling in Casablanca! Anyways, Perry said he'll continue the fight (or something John Wayne ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    Three Days Before Halloween: The Perfect Time in Houston For Carving Your Jack-O-Lanterns

    Growing up in south Texas, I learned quickly that if you carve a pumpkin too early, it will rot. Our hot humid weather will invade all the delicate cuts we've made in our shiny, round pumpkins, and every inch of the exposed flesh will soon be covered in a fuzzy gray-green mold. Creepy? Sure. Ideal ... More >>

  • News

    October 24, 2013

    Packing Heat

    Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson wants to "normalize the sight of an armed citizen."

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2013

    Somebody Wants Ted Cruz Dead (And Not a Member of His Own Party)

    Sen. Ted Cruz has made a name for himself with all the government shutdown hijinks he's pulled in the past few weeks, but he's also ensured that there are a lot of people right now who don't much like guy, including at least one person who's been using Twitter to urge someone to get rid of Cruz. Wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2013

    Chron Moonwalks Away From Ted Cruz Endorsement

    Remember when the Houston Chronicle endorsed Ted Cruz for the U.S. Senate instead of "establishment" conservative David Dewhurst? You don't? Well, they want us to forget it too. They also told us Ted Cruz was "thoughtful." But they don't want you to remember that either. Yesterday, the editors pe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2013

    Ted Cruz Calls Hecklers 'Obama's Paid Political Operatives'

    Sen. Ted Cruz really is the gift that keeps on giving. If he was an animal he'd definitely be the goose that laid golden eggs, only the good stuff comes out the other end. Current case in point: The Values Voter Summit on Friday. Cruz was addressing a packed crowd full of adoring fans -- either of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 10, 2013

    The Tea Party Does Not Care About Wall Street's Money

    Whatever else you might want to say about the tea party folks -- both the elected representatives and their citizen-supporters -- you cannot say that they are in hock to Wall Street the same way the establishment GOP and (much of) the Democrats are. (Including, yes, President Obama. It's true). If ... More >>

  • News

    September 26, 2013

    How to Annoy Your Fellow Republicans

    Senator Ted Cruz continues to march to his own special drumbeat.

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2013

    Ted Cruz, The Miley Cyrus Of Politics, Reads "Green Eggs and Ham"

    Sen. Ted Cruz, the freshman senator from Texas with possible 2016 ambitions and a knack for pissing off fellow members of the Republican party he represents, has been everywhere lately. A few weeks ago there was the Canadian citizenship thing. Then he was tromping on the toes of his fellow Texan p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2013

    Teddy Cruz is Annoying the Crap Out of People in D.C.

    Senator Ted Cruz is apparently pissing off everyone in Washington. From political blog The Monkey Cage: The staffer, whom two GOP sources identified as working for Representative John Culberson of Texas, went on to decry Cruz for holding events in Culberson's district and telling his constituent ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2013

    Sen. Ted Cruz Will Stop Being Canadian, ASAP

    We've all had our suspicions about Sen. Ted Cruz. Didn't he seem a little too comfortable in that chilly Washington D.C. weather? Didn't someone one time hear him say something nice about Queen Elizabeth II? When he stops talking, doesn't it seem like something is missing? A space for a good old Can ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 28, 2013

    Patrick Plots Path to Lieutenant Governor, Bashing Dewhurst in Opening Announcement

    In one of the worst-kept secrets in Texas, State Sen. Dan Patrick announced Thursday that he was throwing his hat in the ring for the 2014 election for Texas lieutenant governor. Patrick, the current Senate Education Chair, announced yesterday that he would be aiming for David Dewhurst's current pos ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2013

    Para La Familia: Protestors for Immigration Reform March Downtown

    Tuesday morning 25 organizations from around the city converged on downtown Houston to speak in one voice about the need for immigration reform here in the United States. Carrying banners and homemade signs, they marched down Smith Street, passionately chanting and spreading a simple message: Now i ... More >>

  • News

    February 28, 2013

    The Ten Weirdest Members of Congress

    Texas claims three of the top spots.

  • Blogs

    February 13, 2013

    Ted Cruz, Texas' New Senator, Gets Schooled Over His Chuck Hagel Campaign

    There are few Senatorial chapters more infamous than Joe McCarthy's months-long screed against the purported communists infiltrating the American government during the 1950s. The man's grating, acidic line of questions and insinuations have long stood as the apogee of paranoia within Washington. In ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2012

    Bronco Bama For The Win: Your Election Night 2012 Live Blog & Comment Feed

    "There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth or something I guess..." -- Luke 13:28, A Copy Of The Bible I Swiped From A Hotel Room Hello and welcome to Hair Balls' election night live blog and comment, where tonight I will be chronicling the mania of the 2012 presidential ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2012

    RNC Hoopla: Ted Cruz Saying Stupid Things, Fitting in Just Fine

    Ah, the Republican National Convention. Glitz. Glamour. Ted Cruz -- our newly-anointed Texan conservative savior -- saying really dumb things. And Christianity. Lots and lots of Christianity. But first, back to Cruz, who's scheduled to address the convention tonight. So here's the deal: This is his ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2012

    Grading Ted Cruz on Meet The Press: Meh

    In his first national, mainstream media appearance since the Republican Senate nominee won the runoff election late last month, Ted Cruz displayed on Meet The Press yesterday what propelled him past Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst last month in the runoff: An ability to say pretty things, and make everyone ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2012

    Bye, Bye Rick Perry: How Ted Cruz Became Texas' Most-Important Republican -- and He's Not Even Elected!

    Rick Perry, it's so over. Sure, you've been fun. Hell, you've been great to us here at Hair Balls. Like that time you thought Solyndra, a solar company, was a country? Or, when you applauded George W. Bush for all his work defending us from freedom? Oh, man. That was a good one. And just recently wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Who is Ted Cruz, Really?

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2012

    Ted Cruz Is Here to Protect Texas from the UN

    Texas Republican voters finally jumped to their senses Tuesday and followed the clarion call of Sarah Palin by electing Ted Cruz to the U.S. Senate over pallid insider David Dewhurst. The upset was the latest bit of rebellion from the Tea Party, adding to the footnotes that will be written in poli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2012

    Ted Cruz: First Intellectual Tea-Partier Ever

    Last night, as we watched Sarah Palin bloviate on Fox News -- yes, doubtful reader, we do under highly unusual circumstances tune in to Fox News -- we were struck by something. Ted Cruz, compared to virtually every single Tea Party member on this green earth like Palin, is really damn articulate. Li ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 24, 2012

    GOP Senate Favorite, David Dewhurst: Worst. Campaigner. Ever.

    Things have not gone as planned for Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst. This was supposed to be easy. He had the experience, he had the supporters and he had the money. Lots and lots of it. Not to mention, he was running against some guy named Ted Cruz in the primaries -- who? By all accounts, Cruz doesn't eve ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 16, 2012

    GOP Senate Candidate Ted Cruz, In Fact, Rich As Sh*t

    Last week, after it came out that Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst is worth an astonishing $177 million and would become the third-richest member of the U.S. Senate if elected to a body that has at least 54 millionaires, there was one word local media employed to describe his competitor Ted Cruz's fina ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 21, 2012

    Comment of the Day: An Alternative For The Dewhurst-Cruz Spanish Debate

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2012

    To Our Great Disappointment, Dewhurst And Cruz Won't Debate In Spanish This Friday

    This Friday, Tea Party man-crush Ted Cruz, whose father emigrated from Cuba to the United States, and Lieutenant Governor David Dewhurst, who speaks some mean Gringo Spanish, will not -- to our great disappointment -- speak in Spanish at their debate in Dallas. Or Spanglish. It's going to be more of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2012

    Booing Rick Perry's Plug For Dewhurst? Other Possibilities

    The crowd at the state GOP convention was listening to a very Rick Perry-like speech from Rick Perry when all of a sudden he injected that "my friend David Dewhurst" should be sent to Washington. Then, booing commenced. Or so the lamestream media would have you believe. Perry, ducking reporters af ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2012

    Facebook's Top Recipients of Campaign Donations Includes...Ted Cruz?

    With Facebook in the news for all types of political and financial reasons, different groups are looking at where the social-media giant spends its campaign cash. According to influenceexplorer.com, the top recipient of campaign funds from individuals connected to Facebook is Barack Obama, not surp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 15, 2012

    The Delicious Madness Of Ted Cruz's GOP Senate Campaign Ads

    All of Texas is feeling the excitement of the GOP primary for the U.S. Senate. It's really all that Texans are talking about, apart from everything and anything else. Lt. Governor David Dewhurst, a bland and boring pol, is facing Ted Cruz, a Tea Partier who has been endorsed by Sarah Palin. (The Te ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2012

    Thank God, Ted Cruz Will Protect Texas from the U.N.

    This ad for GOP primary senatorial candidate Ted Cruz has been showing up on conservative Web sites. It alerts -- thankfully, finally -- all Texans to the growing threat that the U.N. will....invade? Take over in a bloodless coup? We don't know. All we know is that the U.N. is (apparently) a grave ... More >>

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