Up until Friday afternoon, NFL free agency had been the usual fare of crappy teams overspending (what up, Miami and Cleveland?), great teams laying back and waiting for bargains (what up, New England and Green Bay?), and the Texans possibly getting played by Ed Reed (what up, Rick Smith?).
There ha ... More >>
What's worse: A movie geared towards kids and teens or the soundtrack to a movie geared towards kids and teens?
It's a tough call because both can be pretty awful and uninspired. Sure, Ferris Bueller's Day Off is great and had an excellent soundtrack but let's not fool ourselves: We all sat through ... More >>
Dear Star Pizza,
I want you to know that I am a longtime fan and admirer of your work. Hell, before I was peer-pressured into trying your food I didn't even like pizza at all, an unheard-of thing in a man of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles generation. The fact that picking up a pizza made you invi ... More >>
Hey, it's 4/20 day!
Be glad you don't live in Boulder, where the University of Colorado is trying to end the annual massive on-campus celebration of the day by barring any visitors and spraying the quad where it's held with "a foul-smelling fish-based fertilizer on the grass."
Here in Hou ... More >>
Rumors began circling this week that Rocksteady would not be following up Batman: Arkham City with another Dark Knight adventure, and would instead be working on using the same style to reboot the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. For those who may only know the Turtles from their '80s cartoon, we can a ... More >>
Television public-service announcements are to fighting drugs what abstinence-only education is to preventing teenage sex: In theory it should work, but the presentation often falls very, very short.
That hasn't stopped people from trying, of course. Here are five of the classics. Decide for yourse ... More >>
Tumblr"Aw, dammit, I grabbed Dad's iPod by mistake. Paul Simon... is that one guy, or two Beatles?"
Remember emo kids? Only a few short years ago, the nation's venues of the nation were filled with kids in all black, wearing ultra-skinny jeans, eyeliner, white belts, and identical chopped-mea ... More >>
For people who have an unhealthy relationship with food, dessert is an extremely important part of the meal. It's the sweet reward for struggling through all the harsh, bitter flavors of entrees like chicken fried steak, pizza, prime rib, hamburgers, stuffed pork chops, and other disgusting s ... More >>
Great Moments in Douchebaggotry is brought to you by Rocks Off's upcoming Washington Shore party, Thursday, February 11 at the Washington Avenue Drinkery. All types of douchebags are encouraged to attend.Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray"Ha! Nice try, Dreadlock Monster. I'd like to speak to Ax ... More >>
In this episode of Houston Music Fight Club, we yet again pit some of Houston's skuzziest and rocking local musicians and personalities together for a fight to the death. Or at least to the sore hand, bloody lip, and maybe a few tears. Some dudes fight when they cry; we've seen it firsthand. We d ... More >>
If you're a child of the '80s, much of your misspent youth was misspent in front of the television taking in shows like Mr. Wizard and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But just as those classic TV shows from your childhood have remained with you all these years, so have the equally classic commercials. ... More >>
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to email@example.com.
A few months ago, ... More >>