Texas Longhorns (Football)

  • Blogs

    August 3, 2011

    Longhorn Network's 5 New Shows: Why No One Will Watch Them

    Bevo, 24/7​The amazingly awesome Longhorn Network, which will provide all the UT anyone could ever hope for, announced five new shows today. And no one in their right mind will watch any of them. Of course, the Longhorn Network is not designed to appeal to anyone in their right mind. It's de ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 28, 2011

    Top 5 Best Big 12 Football Games of 2011 (With Predictions)

    Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner, etc., etc., etc.​Football-wise, the Big 12 (aka. Oklahoma and the nine others) is barely hanging on, now that Nebraska is in the Big Ten and Colorado bolted to the Pac-12. The 2011 season, which is just over a month away, marks the first time that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 8, 2011

    Colt McCoy Appreciation Dinner: A Menu Inspired by Rachel McCoy's Call to ESPN's Colin Cowherd

    ​Rachel McCoy may be getting a muzzle as a wedding present from the University of Texas football program. The wife of Colt McCoy, the former Longhorns' star and current Cleveland Brown quarterback, called radio host Colin Cowherd, out of her own volition, to dish/spill the beans/insert your o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 3, 2011

    Urban Meyer to Replace Mack Brown at UT? Let the Rumors Begin!

    Wearing burnt orange soon?​There's nothing better than rumors about Longhorn football, even though they usually concern how yet another player has escaped publicity for ignoring one law or another. But here's a good one, from 1560 The Game's Lance Zierlein: Urban Meyer, the former Florida coa ... More >>

  • News

    April 28, 2011

    The Final Play

    After traumatic knee injury, Case Keenum has one more season to prove his talents.

  • News

    March 31, 2011


    1560AM weaves pop culture, locker-room humor and irreverence into sports-talk radio.

  • Blogs

    January 19, 2011

    The Longhorn Network -- The $300 Million Mystery

    Pimp My Bevo, coming soon to your TV​"We want to define what it means to be 'the' public university. The challenge is to create new sources of revenue to support our mission." -- University of Texas President Bill Powers Done and done. Earlier today, the University of Texas and ESPN announc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2010

    So You Want To Be The University of Texas Offensive Coordinator...APPLY HERE

    What are the hours?​As a resident of the great state of Texas, it pains me to see our tax dollars being wasted. Case in point, somewhere in Austin there is a person who had to spend a couple hours of his or her day posting the offensive and defensive coordinator positions for the University ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2010

    Gary Kubiak Death Watch: Signs Of Life

    ​Boy, it doesn't take much to get a Texans bandwagon started in this town. The frantic yearning for a winner has fans ecstatic over a home win against a crummy team, and has the Kubiak Death Watch arrow inching slightly towards positive ground. We'll see what happens after tonight's game in ... More >>

  • News

    November 25, 2010

    2010 Turkeys of the Year

    Metro chief Frank Wilson is our biggest gobbler.

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2010

    This Weekend's Best Football Bets: Live From The East Coast

    UConn football: It's like LSU-Bama, except for EVERYTHING​So my vacation rolls on and I just landed in the sports mecca -- Hartford, CT. Tonight I will be taking my talents to Rentschler Field (or as I like to call it, The House Orlovsky Built) for UConn against West Virginia.So I land at 12:45 p. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 25, 2010

    NFL, College Football and Brett Favre's Wiener -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

    Brett Favre can't get out of the headlines​I hope everybody had a lovely Texans bye weekend (insert lame joke about "Texans giving up fewer than 300 yards passing to BYE" here), and that you're refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for the back half of the football season. I'm on vacation this week vis ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 21, 2010

    NFL & College Football -- Weekend's Best Bets

    Does not look like fun​Before I get into the Best Bets for this weekend, a public service announcement for those of you traveling to Singapore any time soon. They still cane people there. Just ask former Florida State tight end Kamari Charlton. He is over in Singapore as you read this helping ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2010

    Texas A&M Aggies: Care To Make The Rest Of The Season Interesting?

    Headed for a life of disappointment​I had other things I wanted to get to today, other anecdotes and information I wanted to share with all of you. Really, I did. But this one is time sensitive.If I wait even 48 more hours, the impact is lost because by then Notre Dame will have beaten Boston Co ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 28, 2010

    Texas Longhorns: The Most Laughable Report Card Ever

    Longhorns: Grading on the curve​There's an episode of The Sorpanos in Season 5 entitled (ironically so) "All Happy Families." Sopranos fans will remember the fifth season as the one where Tony and Carmela spent a majority of the season separated, so in turn, they also fought a lot. In "All Happy ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2010

    Texans-Cowboys Debacle 2010 -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

    The Texans bombed big-time​In retrospect, we probably should have seen this coming. For all the talk about this being a different Texans team, about the Cowboys coming in as a wounded animal, about Wade Phillips being thrilled about the noon kickoff so he wouldn't miss the early bird special, has ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2010

    Why ND Will Win The BCS Title And UT Won't 2010 -- Part 2

    Watch out, Wyoming!! UT is comin' at ya!!​Our second annual weekly explanation of why Notre Dame will win the BCS title this year and the University of Texas won't got off to a predictable start this weekend: The Irish manhandled a savage opponent while the Longhorns struggled mightily to eke out ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2010

    Rice-Longhorns Preview: Owls Lose Key Player, But Still Have Upset Hopes

    Fear the Owl....FEAR IT​The Rice Owls have played six football games at Reliant Stadium. They've won three of those games, including the Texas Bowl two years ago. But of the three games the Owls have lost, two of them have been to this week's opponent, the Texas Longhorns. And those losses to the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2010

    Game Time: College Football -- Celebrating 90210 and the Big 12

    A&M: The Dylan McKay of the Big 12​I hate making tough decisions. Today was one of those days. I mean, you have the start of the college football season, which in my house and on my show is like Christmas morning wrapped up in a 21st birthday party.And yet, it is also September 2, 2010 -- th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 31, 2010

    Pop Rocks: Fantasy Football For (Immature) Dummies

    ​Football season is almost upon us. For many people, this time of year offers renewed hope for the future, ranging from the merely possible (can the Saints repeat?) to the improbable (will the Texans makes the playoffs) to the "You gotta be fucking kidding me" (Kris Brown kicks a last-minute f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 10, 2010

    Rice Will Get A Chance To Make A Bang In This Year's First Game (Against The Longhorns)

    Sam McGuffie can finally play for Rice​Two seasons ago, the Rice Owls went 10-3 and won the Texas Bowl. Last year, the Owls went 2-10, including 0-9 to start the season. Saturday, the Owls got down to business for this season, and the question lingers: is this going to be like 2008, or 2009?"We ha ... More >>

  • News

    July 29, 2010

    Snatching Some Meth

    Local woman hides drugs in vagina

  • Blogs

    July 19, 2010

    H2Orange: UT Gets In The Bottled-Water Business

    H2Orange: Tastes like...arrogance​If there is one thing this world doesn't have enough of, it's bottled water. The University of Texas is addressing that heartbreaking shortage by introducing H2Orange, which is water in a bottle shaped like the UT Tower.Sales will go to fund scholarships school of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2010

    Longhorn Network: Death Knell Of The Big 12?

    There was a rumor about a tumor...​Back in the 1950s, with the Dodgers relocated to Los Angeles and the Giants to San Francisco, New York City found itself with only one baseball team, the Yankees.And despite the so-called popularity of the sport, there were still only 16 major league teams. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2010

    Game Time: The Longhorn Network -- A Few Programming Ideas

    Tonight at 8: Bevo Gone Wild​I often think how cool it must have been to have the first fast-food restaurant in a given town. You plunk down your McDonald's, start flipping about a thousand burgers an hour (quantity over quality when you're that busy), and watch the money roll in.And then Bu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2010

    Big 12 Conference Madness: The Winners & Losers

    "UT's Bitch" is such a nice conference name​So Texas has decided to stay put, and the Big 12, oops, Big 10, lives another day.Good for it, I guess.Let's just say that it's been an interesting couple of weeks that, despite what others think, is far from over. But let's take a look at the Winners ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2010

    Game Time: College Football Realignment: FINAL PRS Ratings (Sort of)

    The Day After...everything was pretty much the same​As the day began on Monday and rumblings of a last-second, desperation effort to keep the Big 12 together were beginning to gain traction, if the various schools involved had Facebook pages, their relationship statuses would have looked like this ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 14, 2010

    Game Time: Vince Young -- All He Does Is Win, Strip-Club Fistfight Edition

    VY in happier times​Okay, I give up. The topic of college football conference realignment has dominated the airwaves/Twitter/blog chatter the past two weeks, all the while the NBA Finals and now the 2010 World Cup whirring judiciously in the background.College football has taken a couple run ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2010

    Game Time: Texas A&M Trying To Break Off From Longhorn Entourage?

    What you fail to understand, Turtle....​What started as a history lesson, in this space at least, on Monday is on the verge of becoming an historical shift in the world of collegiate sports. The college football gods dropped this mayhem in our laps, so let's keep talking about it. (For the recor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2010

    Game Time: New Pac-10 ALREADY Making Southwest Conference Look Like The Ivy League (...and revised PRS rankings!)

    Welcome to the Big Ten!​The winds of change yesterday went from cool breeze to Hurricane Tom (as in Osborne, as in "adios", as in "How's that taste, Kansas?"), with Nebraska apparently accepting an invitation from the Big Ten to become its twelfth member.It remains to be seen if Nebraska is ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2010

    Game Time: College Football Realignment: A 2003 History Lesson

    Big East fever: Possibly catchable (Not shown: South Florida)​To sit down and type up a piece about college football realignment, specifically the (choose one) maintaining of/realignment of/annihilation of the Big 12, knowing that said piece would be set to run nearly 24 hours from now feels almos ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2010

    Game Time: If You Like The Texans Pick Of Kareem Jackson at #20 GIMME A HELL YEAH...Hey, Who Let All These Crickets In Here?

    ​I would have to say the NFL's taking the first round of its draft and transforming it from hardcore niche sporting event on Saturday afternoons to Must-See TV Thursday night melodrama was a success in its first year. We got plenty of shaking and moving (seven draft night trades involving firs ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2010

    Texas Tech's Mike Leach Knows How To Fling The F-Word Around

    It's no secret football coaches curse, but now, thanks to the Texas Open Records Act, you get video proof of the artistry involved.The website filed an Open Records Act request for a video shot by a Texas Tech crew after the Red Raiders barely beat Baylor.Then-coach Mike Leach is n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2010

    Game Time: Realignment's "Seven Year Itch" Sending Longhorns Up North?

    ​Well, it's about to happen again. Collegiate athletics are getting that "seven year itch," more specifically college football, which let's face it, is the petroleum that makes the whole athletics engine go. For it was in 2003 that the last real salvo of college football realignment was fired when ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2010

    Five Things To Remember This National Signing Day (Six, If You're A UT Fan)

    ​Today is the most important off-season day in college football, a momentous and staggeringly significant event that is known as National Signing Day.Today 18-year-olds declare where they will accept scholarships to play football. No other thing that happens today, barring an alien invasion, will ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 22, 2010

    Game Time: NFL Conference Title Predictions...Channeling College Football

    There's no two ways about it, my NFL playoff predictions have been terrible. As I outlined on Monday, I reached a point this past weekend, after going goose eggs on the first seven games, where I picked the Jets to beat the Chargers outright merely because every rational thought and shred of evide ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2010

    Long Faces for the Longhorns

    Although they ultimately couldn't stem the Crimson Tide in last night's Rose Bowl after star quarterback Colt McCoy was injured early in the first quarter, University of Texas fans were still excited early in the game at Lucky's Pub. Meanwhile over at the Fox and Hound, Alabama fans had their game f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2010

    Game Time: Longhorns Come Away With "Rocky Balboa" Respect

    ​Around 10:15 PM last night, about the time the wheels started coming off the University of Texas Longhorns' run at what would have been an historical comeback, I got the following text from AT&T (verbatim, including all of the texty little abbreviations): "The AT&T All-America Player ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2010

    Game Time: Five Biggest College Football Title Game Implosions

    It's almost here. After wading through the sludge of bowl season, with just one more "go get me some popcorn" match left tonight between Troy and Central Michigan (Admit it, ninety percent of you reading this have no idea what state "Troy" is in), finally tomorrow Alabama and Texas will meet for a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2010

    Real Texans Hate The Longhorns

    ​It's an exciting time to be a Longhorn fan. If UT beats Alabama Thursday, it will mark only the second time in the team's storied history that they will be crowned college football champions while having black players on their roster.All of Texas is thrilled with the title chase, with the possibl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2009

    New Notre Dame Coach Wants A Piece Of The Longhorns

    ​Brian Kelly is the new football coach at Notre Dame, having left his undefeated University of Cincinnati for greener pastures.We're not sold entirely on him yet, but we haven't been entirely sold on an ND coach since Ara. Kelley does have an interesting resume -- he was involved in Massachusetts ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2009

    Game Time: Sure Thing...Betting The Opposite Of The Village Idiot

    ​If you're keeping track, you know that I've been sucking on my football picks since I started posting here at Hair Balls. My sincere hope is that all of you are doing the smart thing and running to the pay window with picks the exact opposite of mine, and laughing gleefully while doing so. I dese ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2009

    Game Time: Previewing College Football Awards Night

    ​Last night, the Rotary Lombardi Award for the top lineman in college football was given to Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. To anyone who watched him play this year, or even just watched him rag-doll and chokeslam the Texas offensive line in the Big XII championship game, Suh's winning th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 8, 2009

    Pop Rocks: Long Live The BCS

    ​By the slimmest of margins, America was spared the unthinkable horror of seeing a (*shudder*) mid-major team contend for a national championship last Saturday. And if you don't think there were some urgent calls made from the executive office of the BCS to the replay booth in Jerry's World (Cowbo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 8, 2009

    Game Time: Longhorns, All I Ask Is That You Take Your Ass-Kicking Like Men

    ​First and foremost, I want to congratulate the University of Texas football team, their fans, their alumni. Regardless of how it got done, on Saturday night you scored 13 points, Nebraska scored 12, and by virtue of 13 being greater than 12, you now find yourselves making reservations for Pasad ... More >>

  • Dining

    December 3, 2009

    Blissing Out on Bingle

    If you like Longhorn memorabilia and old-fashioned Tex-Mex, this Spring Branch coffee shop is a little slice of heaven.

  • Blogs

    November 27, 2009

    Game Time: Thanksgiving Leftovers -- Longhorns Vs, Aggies, Sports-Talk Shuffle, Best Bets

    ​I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I want to belatedly thank everyone who listens to my show (3-7 weekdays on 1560 The Game, just in case), thank everyone who takes the time to read my posts here on Hair Balls, and thank all of the athletes, coaches, and fellow broadcasters who continu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 17, 2009

    Game Time: In Defense Of TCU, An Open Letter To The Chron's Richard Justice

    ​Dear Richard,I'm not sure if you are aware of this but your Monday column entitled "10-0 TCU Not Equal of 10-0 Texas" has caused quite an uproar among the Horned Frog faithful. I am going to assume you are aware of this because the only logical explanation for your outlandish premise and its su ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2009

    Game Time: Weekend Review

    ​I hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you were all able to enjoy the nice weather by moving your television and recliner into your driveway to watch football on TV.  I'd like to start off by welcoming the Texans to this new thing for them called "November".  Boys, I know in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2009

    Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS And Texas Won't, Part 8

    ​We didn't watch the Longhorns this weekend, we have to admit. Subjecting the country to a prime-time match-up of UT and Missouri seemed unnecessarily cruel, but such is the heartless world we live in these days.But we're assuming two things: First, UT won, because come on, it's Missouri. And seco ... More >>

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