Texas Longhorns

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, Helping NBA Stars With Their Finances

To exactly nobody's surprise, the Rockets and James Harden agreed on Wednesday afternoon to a five year, $80 million contract extension, making Harden the first maximum contract player that Daryl Morey has inked to a deal in his tenure as Rockets general manager, and sending a clear message that Har ... More >>

Aggies Invite the Rest of the SEC to Begin Kicking Their Asses Immediately (w/ VIDEO)

Nature fascinates me. Specifically, I love the Discovery Channel-style shows that give a detailed breakdown of a vicious animal predator stalking its target before going in for the kill. Life is Darwinian, and it gets no more Darwinian than that. Literal survival of the fittest. But I have a soft s ... More >>

The School That Holds The Record For First-Day License-Plate Sales In Texas Is...Ole Miss?

MyPlates.com, the private company that offers Texans vanity plates of all types, sells a lot of school plates. Plates for th eUniversity of South Carolina just went on sale (and no, you can't get COCKLUVR even if you're a rabid Gamecock fan). They've been doing it for a while now, and have compile ... More >>

Rice Scrimmage Recap: The Owls Out to Kick The Longhorns' @%#

Steve JansenDavid Bailiff addresses his team following Saturday's scrimmage. ​"What are you dreaming about? What are you dreaming about? You should be dreaming about whuppin' Texas' ass." That's Rice head football coach David Bailiff, who is gathered in front of his entire team at midfield of ... More >>

What "Exhaustion" & Other Cancellation Excuses REALLY Mean

zazzle.com​Shit happens. It's a fact of life. We're willing to bet that every single person reading this blog has at one time taken a sick day or left work unexpectedly due to an emergency of some kind. And while we may see them as rock gods, musicians are people too, susceptible to the same h ... More >>

More NFL Drama: 75 Former Pros Suing League Over Concussions

Former Texas Longhorn Raymond Clayborn (24) and 74 fellow NFL retirees are suing the league.​The National Football League has been, for the past few years, one of the biggest proponents of concussion awareness. Now, all of that cheerleading may bite them in the backside. The Associated Press ... More >>

CityCentre Shows Off Aggie-Longhorn Gridiron

Over/under on the time before the UT end zone is defaced: 1.2 hours after the game​When the University of Texas Longhorns and Texas A&M Aggies get together each year, there is a feeling of true holiday spirit that fills the air. Sure, that spirit is hatred, but it definitely fills the air. Th ... More >>

Rice Sudents Had A Great Sexual Year, Apparently

Rice gets it on​Today in Self-Serving "Studies," we have what is no doubt highly sophisticated and peer-approved from the people who make Trojan condoms.They're put their annual report on "sexual health" on America's college campuses, looking at such things as condom availability, health center ho ... More >>

Open Tab: Things Are Changing, Holmes

Pull up a chair, start a tab and order a round of shots, because this is Rocks Off's weekly roundup of the goings-on in the Houston bar scene. Ups and downs, openings and closings, we will cover it all. Hit us up with any hot tips at craig.hlavaty@houstonpress.com. Craig Hlavaty​During our t ... More >>

Rice Hopes To Keep Momentum Against North Texas

Owls take on Mean Green, or whatever North Texas is calling itself these days​The Rice Owls played a hell of a football game last Saturday. They played a game that nobody, except for themselves, thought they were capable of playing. They shut down the Texas Longhorn running game, and they even sho ... More >>

UT-Notre Dame Football Series: It's Coming, Longhorns

Fear the leprechaun. Fear it!!!​It's not often that the University of Texas steps up to play major college football programs -- they seem to prefer the Sam Houston States and UL-Monroes of the world for their out-of-conference schedule -- but that may be changing.Rumors are flying that the Longhor ... More >>

Aggies And Horns Want Part Of Your Electric Bill For Their Struggling Sports Programs

Aggie Energy: Making sure Aggie jokes never go out of style.​It seems like we've heard a joke before about how many Aggies it takes to change a light bulb. It wasn't really funny then, but considering that Texas A&M, specifically Aggie athletics, is getting into the energy business, we're sure ... More >>

Longhorns End Rice's Season

Damn you, Bevo​Rice Owls pitcher Mike Ojala had been lobbying coach Wayne Graham to let him pitch a complete game for four years. That lobbying had been excessively hard this season, since Ojala wanted to get at least one in his Rice career.But with his coming off off-season Tommy John surgery, ... More >>

How Texas and Alabama Match Up... Musically

​ For once, Rocks Off is grateful for this sinus-splitting headache (thanks, Mike Stinson!), because it gives us something to focus on besides the fact that we are crawling out of our skin waiting for kickoff tonight. At this point, sports pundits have analyzed the Longhorns and Crimson Tide to wi ... More >>

The Agony of the Cobnoggins

​Overconsumption of roasted corn, or elote con crema, is believed to be responsible for a disformity of the cranium known as cornhead. The condition, which is mainly confined to the cornbelt state of Nebraska, can also cause delusions that lead the afflicted to believe they can beat the Texas ... More >>

Dive Bars

A handcrafted tour of the best, most obscure places to lean on a stool in Houston.

A Judge Delivers His Verdict Too Late

Also: Readers respond to Robb Walsh

Let's Make This Rick Perry-Bobby Jindal Bet Interesting, For Chrissake

The Texas Longhorns are playing the LSU Tigers in the College World Series, and that can mean only one thing: an entirely dull press release announcing some stupid bet between the governors of the respective states.And voila!! Rick Perry's putting up Texas barbecue, Bobby Jindal is putting up seafoo ... More >>

The Real Reason Perry Wants To Secede: Football

Governor Rick Perry has been pressing for Texas to secede from the nation. He might bitch about high taxes, but I think we all know the real reason he's pushing this idiotic movement.  How else can the Texas Longhorns win a national championship?Sure, the Longhorns helped to devise the Big 12 g ... More >>

What We Lose, And What We Gain, If Texas Secedes

Rick Perry, our governor, has taken a steep dive off the sanity cliff with his preachin'-to-the-Rush-choir talk of seceding from the United States.This may be hard to imagine, but we think Perry might not have thought the whole thing through so well. And not just because he's presented the image of ... More >>

Amazingly, There Are Some Flaws In Rick Perry's Plan To Secede

As the whole blogosphere knows by now, Rick Perry -- the only governor Texas has at the moment -- has talked of the possible need to secede from the United States.This apparently counts as pro-America rhetoric at a tea party; the logic of that escapes us. (Oh yeah, it's no longer "America" when ther ... More >>

Longhorns Sue For BCS Title; Coach Brown: "We're Texas, Damn It"

Austin -- Following last night's Florida Gators victory over the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS Title Game, the Texas Longhorns football team held a press conference outside of the main entrance to Darrell K. Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium. Head Coach Mack Brown, reading from a prepared statement, st ... More >>

Longhorns Sue For BCS Title; Coach Brown: "We're Texas, Damn It"

Austin -- Following last night's Florida Gators victory over the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS Title Game, the Texas Longhorns football team held a press conference outside of the main entrance to Darrell K. Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium. Head Coach Mack Brown, reading from a prepared statement, st ... More >>

Longhorns Can't Brag About Buckeye Victory

I want to thank The Ohio State Buckeyes. Sure, they lost to the Texas Longhorns, but because the Longhorns needed a bad spot by the referees to help get the victory, I'm pretty damn sure that the country has been saved from listening to Longhorn fans bitch about not playing for the BCS Title. Beca ... More >>

Longhorns Can't Brag About Buckeye Victory

I want to thank The Ohio State Buckeyes. Sure, they lost to the Texas Longhorns, but because the Longhorns needed a bad spot by the referees to help get the victory, I'm pretty damn sure that the country has been saved from listening to Longhorn fans bitch about not playing for the BCS Title. Beca ... More >>

Bowling for UT, TCU, UH and Rice

I'm sure the Longhorns and their fans are still pissed they didn't win the Big 12 and aren't playing for the national title. But screw Longhorns fans. I think I can speak for many college football fans who are pissed the Horns are playing in the Fiesta Bowl against Ohio State. Ohio effing Sta ... More >>

Whine All You Want, Longhorn Fans

Let the whining commence. You know, that whining about the Texas Longhorns being screwed by The Man. It all started on Friday when Richard Justice talked about how the Horns were forced to run up the score on the Aggies in order to prevent the injustice of Oklahoma being ranked in front of the ... More >>

What the Hell. Go Texas Tech!

I hate the BCS. I hate the bowl games. I want there to be playoffs in major college football. I write this because, normally, I would be pulling for Oklahoma to defeat Texas Tech this weekend for the purpose of screwing up the BCS. But I can’t do that this time out. I just can’t. And ... More >>

Texas Tech, Say Hello to Number Two

The John Royal College Football Top 25, Week Six

Announcing Our "10 Things to Eat Before You Die" Contest Winners

The John Royal College Football Top 25, Week Five

The John Royal College Football Top 25, Week Three

Texas College Football Report

The College Football Preview, Week Seven: Babes. Lots and Lots of Babes.

Book Excerpt: What It Means to Be a Longhorn: Darrell Royal, Mack Brown and Many of Texas’ Greatest Players

So Did You Hear the One About How All Those Longhorn Football Players Keep Getting Arrested?

Football U: Pigskin for Turkeys

Football U: Pigskin for Turkeys

Tough Guys

Full pads, full contact, no slackers allowed

Welcome to Football U

Welcome to Football U

Throw Them Horns Up

UT's national championship and the rise of Texas rap – coincidence or symbiosis?

No Pain, No Gain

Our solution for saving Texas's claim to capital punishment fame

Gang Signs

Booker-Lowe Gallery showcases "Hot" young aboriginal art

Love of the Game

A Valentine's weekend for college baseball fans

Long Shot Against Longhorns

Rice squares off against UT for first time this century

The Year of Living Anxiously

Are We Having Fun Yet? Or is it just the jangly buzz of advanced urban stress syndrome?

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