Texas Rangers

What's Japanese for F***? Astros Announcers Suggest Yu Darvish Might Learn English Obscenities After Blown Perfect Game

With one out left in the ninth inning and Yu Darvish set to become just the 24th pitcher in MLB history to pitch a perfect game, someone named Marwin Gonzalez stepped to the plate and drilled a single right through the legs (and heart) of Darvish. There were certainly mixed reactions from fans on ha ... More >>

The Astros Start Play On Sunday: Does Anyone Really Care?

The 2013 season begins for the Astros on Sunday night when the Astros host the Texas Rangers on ESPN. And frankly, I'm at the point with Jim Crane and flunkies that I really don't give a damn. Is anyone really excited about this Astros season? The team is going to be bad. The owner and his minions ... More >>

One Man's Baseball Bucket List

The thought of baseball season is depressing for some people, primarily because the Astros are going to be so damn bad. But that doesn't bother me. I'm a baseball addict, and while the Astros will be bad, it's not really going to matter because I'll be watching baseball -- and thanks to Comcast Spor ... More >>

License Plate Auction for Something Similar to But Not TEXANS

The Great Plate Auction of 2013 has released yet another custom plate option to be auctioned off in a couple weeks. We already wrote about HOUSTON, DYNAMO and ROCKETS. Now, you can have...TEXAN5? They even got a quote from Jamey Roots of the Houston TexanS about how great having this plate would be ... More >>

Infamous Last Words: Some of the Strangest Final Utterances from Death Row

"Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel." Those were the last words of one George Appel, a cop-killer electrocuted by the state of New York back in 1928, and it might just be the greatest such utterance of all time. Not that Appel hasn't had some competition over the years. At his 196 ... More >>

25 Ways to Replace Jim Deshaies; You're Welcome, Astros!

As you know by now, Jim Deshaies has left the Astros, and is joining the Chicago Cubs broadcasting crew. In many ways, that's like making the jump from AAA to the majors since WGN is seen nationally while Comcast Sports Net Houston is seen just about nowhere. Now with Deshaies gone, the Astros are h ... More >>

How to Speak Republican

Leaked document reveals the secrets of the GOP's coded language.

Dynamo Win: At Least One Houston Team Is Defending Our Honor Against Dallas

Check out our photos of the Texas match-up between the Dynamo and FC Dallas. As it has been well documented on this blog, this site, and the history books, Houston and Dallas have an absolute hatred for each other. It's an animosity that goes from the people to sports teams. The Astros played and ... More >>

Pena's Is Donut Heaven

Pena's in Pearland gives Shipley's a run for its money.

Julie Ann Moore: Another Texas Teacher Snared in Student Sex Scandal

Booking photoJulie Ann Moore: There might be as many as three 15-year-old victims.​An Amarillo elementary school teacher is currently out on bond and has been charged with sexually assaulting a 15-year-old boy in the back seat of her car during the halftime of a high school football game. Acc ... More >>

The Astros Are Heading To The Promised Land -- The American League!

Say hello to Yankee Fan​As a major league sport, baseball has always done a fairly good job of keeping itself relevant throughout the calendar year. (Football is the king of year-round relevancy. Basketball is the court jester. Baseball lies somewhere in between.) November is normally a fun b ... More >>

Randy Savage: North Texas Middle School Teacher Busted For Student Sex

Randy Savage: Police say she was sexting with student​After an investigation by local police and the Texas Rangers, Randy Lynn Bratcher Savage, a sixth and seventh grade reading teacher in north Texas, has been arrested and charged with two felonies. Savage, 31, was removed from Clarksville's ... More >>

Astros Finally Sold, Or So It Appears

​Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead. The Astros have, it appears, finally been sold. At least that's what Drayton McLane has told Mark Berman over at Fox 26. The papers are still being finalized, though it is hoped that the parties will sign off on the sale next week. McLane was not wil ... More >>

Robert Alvarez: TV-Star Gang Cop Accused of Inmate Sex, Abuse of Power, Theft

If the producers of the History Channel's documentary series Gangland are to be trusted, Edinburg police investigator Robert Alvarez was one of the top cops in the Rio Grande Valley. The 47-year-old was tapped as a starring talking head in Gangland's episode on the Tri-City Bombers, the Valley's mos ... More >>

World Series: Comparing The Rangers/Astros Experience

That didn't take long, did it?I won the World Series and all I got was this penis hat​If you didn't switch channels to get away from the Texans' ineptitude against the Colts, then you missed the Texas Rangers getting mercifully put out of their hitless misery in the World Series.The Rangers' showi ... More >>

Last Night: Gaslight Anthem At Warehouse Live

Photos by Jason Wolter​Gaslight Anthem Warehouse Live October 7, 2010 Quite a great deal of press - too much, really - has been given to the similarities between New Jersey's Gaslight Anthem and that other guy from the Garden State - Jon Bon J... er, Bruce Springsteen. Both Springsteen and GA ... More >>

Mark DeArza: DPS Trooper Charged With Selling Driver's Licenses To Illegal Aliens

Miss "Sample," if that is your real name....​A state trooper, a fellow Department of Public Safety employee and a middleman were charged today with a scheme to sell driver's licenses to illegal aliens for $3,000.Troooer Mark DeArza, 39, DPS clerk Lidia Gutierrez, 37 and a gas-station manager named ... More >>

Dear Ed Wade: What Took So Long?

It's fun to watch the Astros again​Dear Ed Wade,I'm really wondering if you can yet provide me with a legitimate answer for why you kept Chris Johnson stuck down in Round Rock for so long this season?Yes, his defense has been as bad as advertised, but it's really been no worse than the defense of ... More >>

Bomb That Mosque!

KTRH host hopes for violence.

Minute Maid Park's Veggie Menu Gets PETA Love -- With A Side Order Of Carlos Lee Smack

Put an Astros cap on this dude​The Astros have been dismally unexciting this year -- except when they're playing the equally inept Washington Nationals, it seems -- but they've got PETA on their side.The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, a group whose Venn diagram intersection wit ... More >>

Joe Chavez: Former TABC Agent Accused Of Sexually Assaulting His Decoy In Underage Drinking Sting

"I thought she was 18!" won't work​Last May, the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission decided that some minors in Bastrop County might have been having a little too much fun. They apparently decided it was high time to conduct a sting operation.One of the TABC's tried-and-true methods is to s ... More >>

Third Ward High

The 2010 Yates championship team proved nobody does it better.

Are The Astros Worth What Drayton Is Asking?

Photo by verndogs​So Drayton McLane has made it known that he's really, really willing to sell the Houston Astros. And as his price, he's asking for $650 million.I'm sure the potential buyers are putting every aspect of Drayton's baseball empire under the microscope, but I thought I would pr ... More >>

Texas' Youth Prisons Among The Worst For Sexual Abuse, Study Finds

​The Texas Youth Commission can't seem to stop its staff members from raping young inmates locked up at state facilities, according to a recently released federal report that paints the state agency as one of the worst in the country.The federal Bureau of Justice Statistics conducted the investiga ... More >>

Game Time: The Lost Speech Of Yankee GM Brian Cashman

​So the Yankees are World Champions. Yippee. Between watching Kobe tear out the Rockets' collective heart last night, and then having to flip over to Fox to watch Alex Rodriguez' post-game celebration (rehearsed in the mirror no fewer than 100 times, no doubt), November 4, 2009, will live in inf ... More >>

George Strait Week, Part 5: Texas George

Like the man himself said, easy come, easy go. Happy as we are that it's Friday, and almost quitting time to boot, Rocks Off a little sad too, because that means George Strait Week is almost over. But not quite. We're putting it to bed the only way we know how - with the King's five best Texas song ... More >>

Despite What ESPN Says, Here Are 25 Things To (Sorta) Like About Minute Maid Park

Photo by astromark2007ESPN doesn't think much of the fan experience in Houston, especially for the Astros fans, which ESPN ranks at number 68. This ranking is based on things like ownership, coaching, players, bang for the buck, fan relations, stadium experience, affordability, and something called ... More >>

Glenn Beck Takes a Break From the Economy; Talks with Marcus Luttrell, Former SEAL Who Chased Down Men Accused of Shooting His Yellow Lab

If you have been listening to right-wing pundit Glenn Beck's daily syndicated radio show on 740 AM KTRH in the mornings or watching his Fox News Channel TV show in the evenings, no doubt you have heard the sad tale of former Navy SEAL and Navy Cross recipient Marcus Luttrell. The distinguished war ... More >>

A Mainstream Mormon's Test of Faith

Seven months have passed since the polygamist raid in Eldorado, but the effects linger

Top Five Beatdowns in Houston Sports

Requiem for the Balinese Room

Big Plans in Little Sugar Land: Pro Baseball and Concerts Coming to the Brazos?

Astros-Giants: Don’t Get Your Hopes Up, People

Astros-Cubs: Two Wins, One Loss, and a Few Roster Changes

Jesus Is My Agent

Race and Baseball: The Stories of Josh Hamilton and Darryl Strawberry

Astros-Cardinals: Albert Pujols Goes Deep. Twice.

Play Ball: John Royal’s MLB Predictions

Well, Shoot, There Goes That Plan

Astros 21-22

Astros Play-by-Play

Buff Dudes

Shallow Pop

Bernie Mac needs three more hits. He won't likely find one here.

Chroniclers of History and Heartbreaks: Tom Russell, Katy Moffatt and Dave Alvin

Saturday, April 20

Ghost of a Chance

The Balinese Room needs a gambler willing to bet the house - on its own future

Suck-Up Time

Court on a hot tin roof

Hanging with Mr. X

Quanell comes on strong at Graham's execution, then vanishes

Whose Stadium Is It, Anyway?

Stadia Watch

Sacrifice Flies

Born to Win ... or Lose?

Can Drayton McLane bring Houston a World Series champion on a budget? Can Houston support major-league baseball to Drayton McLane's satisfaction? It's time to find out.