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Blogs
April 10, 2012
5 Fun Facts About 2012 Masters Champion Bubba Watson
If you're a diehard golf fan, be warned that this post contains practically no Masters 2012 analysis, and I can virtually assure you that you won't learn anything new. However, if you're a casual golf fan who only pays attention to the sport when Tiger Woods is a) in the mix to win a tournament, b) ... More >>
Blogs
March 9, 2012
In Honor of Hulk Hogan, 5 WWE-Storyline Sex Tapes (w/ VIDEO)
I'm sure many of you have heard of (and some of you, admit it, have probably participated in) a death pool, where you and, say, four of your friends each get to pick ten people and you accumulate points depending on how many of those people die that year. (For the record, the formula for points scor ... More >>
Blogs
February 24, 2012
Lamar's Head Basketball Coach Pat Knight Rants Maniacally (w/ VIDEO)
Yep, that apple fell right by the tree.It's not easy being the son of a legend, and then trying to follow in said legend's footsteps into the exact same vocation of choice. Pat Knight knows this. His father, Bobby Knight, garnered 902 career wins as a head coach. He also had dozens of epic ... More >>
Blogs
February 6, 2012
'90s Soundtrack Battle: Angus & Batman Forever Duke It Out
The movies couldn't be any more different. One is about an obese, kindly high school guy with a heart of gold. The other is about an crime-fighting millionaire orphan inside a cartoonish world full of super-villains, cringe-worthy puns, and Jim Carrey at his muggiest. Obvious Angus is a bette ... More >>
Blogs
January 13, 2012
A Drunken Wade Boggs Channels Garth Brooks (w/ VIDEO)
We interrupt your Texans-versus-Ravens coverage for some drunken quasi-karaoke video! Let's face it, there's only so many different angles you can take with analysis of a football game over the course of seven days. I'm a little Texan-ed out at this point, and besides, I won't have anything more in ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2012
John Parr Pays Tribute to Tim Tebow with Tebow-centric "St. Elmo's Fire" Lyrics (w/ VIDEO)
In his brief NFL career as the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos, Tim Tebow has pulled off several feats that border on the miraculous -- a 7-1 run in his first eight games as their starter this season, numerous late-game comebacks, and a win over the PIttsburgh Steelers in the playoffs la ... More >>
Blogs
September 30, 2011
UGK's Top 10 Most Insightful Songs, Part 1
blastro.comThere's a big difference between being a fanatic and fan of someone's music. We all know this, but let's spell it out for the slow kids in class. For instance, Rocks Off is a fanatic of Death Cab for Cutie. We love their deep cuts as much as the widely known "Soul Meets Body." We ... More >>
Blogs
September 16, 2011
University of Minnesota Horrible Promo Video Allows Me To Dust Off A Few Others (w/ VIDEO)
YouTube. If you're a blogger or a talk show host (or someone like myself who is attempting to be both), it is the gift that keeps on giving. If you're trying to be a productive member of society or a contributor at your place of work, it's the silent killer, especially "Related Videos." If you ge ... More >>
Blogs
September 8, 2011
2011 NFL Preview, Spoken In Wagering-ese
The betting window is openI hope everyone who has had a chance to check out our Texans 2011 preview "The New Normal" has enjoyed it. Big ups to Monica Fuentes for coming up with the season-long interactive game card tracking Texans' results. You need to go check it out. If you haven't read ... More >>
Blogs
August 15, 2011
Five Reasons To Watch The Texans Tonight
It's another big night for you, Matt LeinartI don't know that there was ever any point during the NFL lockout where I was fearful that we wouldn't have football this season. Still, the specter of the work stoppage that loomed over us throughout thus summer made us at least ponder life without ... More >>
Blogs
August 11, 2011
My Plea To Chris Johnson (The One From The Titans, Not The Astros)
Chris Johnson: Don't rush into a contract, dudeWhen I first got on Twitter a couple years ago, I followed Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson for the first few months. For whatever reason, around this time, athletes thought it was a good idea to put up links to a uStream feed where ... More >>
Blogs
August 10, 2011
What Hip-Hop's Cash Kings Should Buy With All That Loot
Forbes has unveiled its annual list of hip-hop cash kings. The Top 20 includes 21 big shottas - who said math was a requirement to work at Forbes? - with whom we'd gladly trade bank accounts. Pop the hood to see Rocks Off's breakdown of the Top 10 earners and what they should buy with all th ... More >>
Blogs
July 5, 2011
Joey Chestnut's Stomach Is an American Hero
Joey Chestnut: Proud to be an American, where at least he knows he's free.It's funny, about 25 years ago, right in the middle of my teenage years, I remember being figuratively beat over the head with constant reminders of "world hunger." If it wasn't the Band Aid video from a bunch of Euro a ... More >>
Blogs
June 7, 2011
Dear Penis: 20 Songs About The Tube Snake Boogie
prince.orgGuess who turns 53 today?Good Lord, what would we do if not for Weinergate? It's hot as hell outside, the Astros are terrible and Rick Perry might run for president next year. But as long as there are congressmen tweeting pictures of their junk to women they barely know, Rocks Off h ... More >>
Blogs
May 23, 2011
Saturday Night: Erykah Badu At Arena Theatre
Photos by RizohErykah Badu Arena Theatre May 21, 2011 Even if she never drops another album, Erykah Badu will still go down as one of the most important artists of our generation. Few can massage a neo-soul groove, seduce a jazz tune, and straddle a hip-hop beat the way she can. On the same ... More >>
Blogs
March 30, 2011
The Four Best Final Fours of the "One Shining Moment" Era (w/ VIDEO)
Hopefully more shining and less Hudson this yearSome of you mistook my piece on Monday as my not being excited for the Final Four this weekend in Houston. That couldn't be further from the truth. I am incredibly excited to have the event here in our town, for a couple reasons: 1. I'm a Con ... More >>
Blogs
March 23, 2011
The Rebecca Black Video (Bad Lip Reading, "Gang Fight" Edition)
She's no 14-year-old quarterback from Delaware.Seemingly everyone with a forum to express an opinion has managed to come up with an angle on Rebecca Black, the 13-year-old viral sensation (as long as "sensation" is measured by "eyeballs viewed" and not "ability to carry a tune") whose hit sin ... More >>
Blogs
February 7, 2011
Super Bowl XLV -- At Least It Was A Good Game
This means sonething different when Ben Roethlisberger does itOkay, so now we can put the whole Brett Favre/Aaron Rodgers thing to bed, right? While Aaron Rodgers still has a ton of work to do to build the overall resume of the Ol' Dongslinger, yesterday's win over the Steelers, and just as ... More >>
Blogs
January 6, 2011
Remember Dante Higgins' School Boy Music?
Houston's history is dotted with albums that, fairly or un, have been swept aside. We'll examine them here. Have an album that you think nobody knows about but should? Email sheaserrano@gmail.com. Dante Higgins School Boy Music (Self-released, 2010) Dante Higgins is a baby-faced college kid ... More >>
Blogs
December 7, 2010
Time Waster Tuesday -- NBA Superstars Videos (via YouTube)
"'Remember when' is the lowest form of conversation." -- Tony Soprano Tony was right, you never want to be "remember when" guy, and I try my best not to be. But the fact of the matter is, for many of us, what happened between the ages of 16 and 28 constitute the "good times." High school, maybe ... More >>
Blogs
November 23, 2010
Will Lean: Screwed Up Click Alive And Well; He And Flip "Cool"
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email it to sheaserrano@gmail. ... More >>
Blogs
October 25, 2010
NFL, College Football and Brett Favre's Wiener -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers
Brett Favre can't get out of the headlinesI hope everybody had a lovely Texans bye weekend (insert lame joke about "Texans giving up fewer than 300 yards passing to BYE" here), and that you're refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for the back half of the football season. I'm on vacation this week vis ... More >>
Blogs
September 28, 2010
Texas Longhorns: The Most Laughable Report Card Ever
Longhorns: Grading on the curveThere's an episode of The Sorpanos in Season 5 entitled (ironically so) "All Happy Families." Sopranos fans will remember the fifth season as the one where Tony and Carmela spent a majority of the season separated, so in turn, they also fought a lot. In "All Happy ... More >>
Blogs
August 18, 2010
Game Time: Whaler Fan Fest -- Houston Oiler Fans May Know How I Feel
Hartford Whalers: They live on as a dessert"Somewhere along the line, we will see you in another place in another time. God bless all of you fans. Remember one thing, you may have lost the NHL, but you have not lost the memories." -- Chuck Kaiton, the voice of the Hartford Whalers after the Whal ... More >>
Blogs
July 7, 2010
Game Time: LeBron James -- Seven Scenarios For Thursday Night
@dramaqueen"Hello World, the Real King James is in the Building 'Finally'. My Brother @oneandonlycp3 gas'd me up to jump on board so I'm here. Haaaa" -- LeBron James (oh sorry...@KingJames on Twitter, and what is sadly his most interesting tweet thus far)I've always thought that when Twitte ... More >>
Blogs
July 6, 2010
Game Time: JaMarcus Russell -- The Raiders' "Purple Drank"
Svelte, he ain't.His Wikipedia profile merely describes JaMarcus Russell as follows: JaMarcus Russell is an American football quarterback who is currently a free agent. Right about now, the only items that are true in that statement are Russell's first and last names, because as of Monday morn ... More >>
Blogs
June 23, 2010
Game Time: 2010 World Cup -- USA Wins! Now Awaits Conference Expansion Invite To Become Part of South America
Photo by Monica Fuentes Catching Cup fever this morning"Soccer is about to cement its place as the worst 'sports bar sport' EVER..." -- Me at the 89-minute mark of the USA-Algeria game today"THIS IS AWESOME!!!" -- Me hugging strangers at the 91-minute mark of the USA-Algeria game today A ... More >>
Blogs
May 6, 2010
Game Time: FREE BEER!...Now That I Have Your Attention, Behold My TEXANS HOME RUN DERBY Dream Team
The thrill of Celebrity Home Run DerbySave the date!Free beer will be served at Nick's Place on Friday, May 28. Well, to be clear, since there are probably legalities involved in a bar literally giving away beer, someone will be paying for the beer -- and that someone is my co-host John Harris. ... More >>
Blogs
April 23, 2010
Five Artists To Watch From Houston's G.O.A.T. Entertainment
Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and, albeit sometimes awkwardly, tie it back to Houston with occasional cussing. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. G.O.A.T. Entertainment is an indie record label based here in Houston. Despite the weird nam ... More >>
Blogs
April 9, 2010
SugarHill In The '90s: Jazz, Jazz, Jazz... And A Little Group Called Destiny's Child
Ed Note: All this week, to celebrate the release of Dr. Roger Wood and Andy Bradley's new book House of Hits: The Story of Houston's Gold Star/SugarHill Recording Studios and preview this weekend's related festivities at Sig's Lagoon and the Continental Club, Rocks Off and Lonesome Onry and Mean are ... More >>
Blogs
February 23, 2010
Game Time: The Knicks And Tracy McGrady...Shortest Honeymoon Ever
Those who know me know that I have an unhealthy fascination with Britney Spears, unhealthy to the point where I found myself strangely attracted to her even through her hefty "Xanax and Frappucino for breakfast" phase back in 2007. One of my favorite Britney stories ever was her "marriage" to boy ... More >>
Blogs
February 9, 2010
Game Time: ESPN, For The Sake Of High Comedy, Do Whatever It Takes To Keep Chris Berman
In the end, all we want from any medium of entertainment is to be moved emotionally in one direction or another. Whether that emotion is joy, anger, or sadness, as long as it's removing us from the boredom of our everyday lives in some way, then it is serving a purpose.The late Jim Valvano put it ... More >>
Music
February 4, 2010
Ultimate Victory
Fences with Paul Wall mended, upcoming tour planned, Chamillionaire is comfortable being the rapper next door.
Blogs
January 19, 2010
Game Time: The 24 Trim Report Card And "I Know That Dude!" Scoreboard
I was actually going to do my Rockets midseason report card today. I really was. But I got home last night, and despite telling myself that I would hold off on watching the next two hours of the new season of 24 until after I got my "sports related" work done, I just couldn't do it.As outlandish, ... More >>
Blogs
January 6, 2010
Game Time: Five Biggest College Football Title Game Implosions
It's almost here. After wading through the sludge of bowl season, with just one more "go get me some popcorn" match left tonight between Troy and Central Michigan (Admit it, ninety percent of you reading this have no idea what state "Troy" is in), finally tomorrow Alabama and Texas will meet for a ... More >>
Blogs
January 1, 2010
Game Time: Areans Vs. Crittenton In Pistols...And We're Off And Running In 2010
Happy New Year to all of you. Quick question -- what is the record for breaking a New Year's Resolution that doesn't involve alcohol, drugs or sex? Because I just ate a Chipwich for breakfast...just wondering. Well, 2010 is here, and that means we get to hit the reset button on "Surreal Story of ... More >>
Blogs
December 29, 2009
Game Time: Try As You Might, No One Can Take Down Tiger Woods
I start this post with the premise that we all love attention. We crave it. Even if you don't openly admit it, there's a small part of you that likes it when you're recognized for, as J. Peterman would say, a "job....done."It's not often in the sports world that one person can usurp everyone's ... More >>
Blogs
December 7, 2009
Game Time: "Oh My God....He's Gonna Throw It.....NOOOOOOO!!!!"
"That's the thing about defining moments -- when they define you as really, really good or really, really bad, you pretty much know them the minute they occur; when the jury is still out on whether you're good or bad, ultimately you have to go back and find the defining moment." -- Sean Pen ... More >>
Blogs
October 21, 2009
The Curse Of Self-Loathing, Self-Loving Sportscasters
So we're watching the ALCS last night, a couple of days after watching Sunday Night Football on NBC, and it just gets to be too much.We've had this feeling for a while, but now there's just no getting away from it.Since when has it been such a goddamn favor for announcers to deign to bring themse ... More >>
Blogs
September 30, 2008
Turning the Screw: Fela Kuti, Jay-Z, Left Eye, Lil Wayne, Ed McMahon, Ciara, DMX and More
So we're watching the ALCS last night, a couple of days after watching Sunday Night Football on NBC, and it just gets to be too much.We've had this feeling for a while, but now there's just no getting away from it.Since when has it been such a goddamn favor for announcers to deign to bring themse ... More >>
Blogs
September 16, 2008
Turning the Screw: Hollywood F.L.O.S.S., LL Cool J, The Kanye West, Lil' Wayne, Russell Crowe (!?), MF Doom, Beyonce and More
So we're watching the ALCS last night, a couple of days after watching Sunday Night Football on NBC, and it just gets to be too much.We've had this feeling for a while, but now there's just no getting away from it.Since when has it been such a goddamn favor for announcers to deign to bring themse ... More >>
Blogs
August 18, 2008
Turning the Screw: Nosaprise, (More) Trae vs. Mike Jones, Slim Thug & Devin the Dude, Jin, The Game, Kanye, GZA and More
So we're watching the ALCS last night, a couple of days after watching Sunday Night Football on NBC, and it just gets to be too much.We've had this feeling for a while, but now there's just no getting away from it.Since when has it been such a goddamn favor for announcers to deign to bring themse ... More >>
Film
June 22, 2006
Deep Doo-doo
A modern-day Bonnie and Clyde are after your money again
Calendar
October 14, 2004
This Week's Day-by-Day Picks
A modern-day Bonnie and Clyde are after your money again
News
February 5, 2004
Turkeys Fly
Houston actually pulls off one crazy week
Film
March 28, 2002
Home Alone Again
Panic Room is a great movie -- if you've never seen one
Calendar
January 25, 1996
Press Picks
Panic Room is a great movie -- if you've never seen one
Music
February 2, 1995
Pop Moment
Panic Room is a great movie -- if you've never seen one
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