The White House

Texas Activist Chains Neck to White House Fence (German Bike Locks Rock)

If you've never heard of Diane Wilson, you've probably heard about the environmentalist who poured Karo syrup on herself on the steps of the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. to protest the BP oil spill. (That was Wilson.) Or about the one who chained herself to the Dow Chemical tower in 2002, se ... More >>

Palin, Santorum, and Perry Remind the NRA Convention of America's Greatness, and that Greatness Comes from a Gun

There was a point in Rick Santorum's history lesson, a point in the former Pennsylvania senator's spiel last Friday about the horrific transition President Obama has yet in store for America, when the 20,000-strong audience at the 2013 NRA Convention sat perfectly silent. Bathed in blue flood-light, ... More >>

Guess Who Is Bringing Ted Nugent to the State of the Union Address?

Texas Rep. Steve Stockman, arguably the Tea Party's No. 1 advocate on Capitol Hill, has already had an eventful first term his second time in Washington. About three weeks ago, Stockman said he was ready to initiate impeachment proceedings against President Barack Obama if Obama's proposed gun-contr ... More >>

This Week In Deliciousness: Fun Abroad, Bummer At Home

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where fall is finally here and we can go outside again, except OH NO WAIT, everything's made of mosquitoes and allergens. Right around the time the weather gets nice enough to roll down the window of your car, the pleasant air coming in is ... More >>

George Lopez: That's the America I Live In

Friends Like These

Woman sexes hospitalized pal's teen.

Annise Parker Tweets Her Joy on Obama's Gay-Marriage Announcement

Mayor Annise Parker has tweeted her joy -- if not astonishment -- at President Obama's announcement today that he endorses same-sex marriage. "Wow! I was wrong. Call from White House. The President has stepped up and stated his support for recognizing relationships...like mine!-a" Parker got a cal ... More >>

LBJ & the Houston Chronicle: Paper's Support Signed, Sealed & Delivered

The latest volume of Robert Caro's epic Lyndon Johnson biography is out -- The Passage to Power covers 1958 through 1964 -- and Amazon has happily delivered our copy. A quick check of the index shows there's not much Houston-related content except for one episode describing how LBJ got the Houston ... More >>

UK Papers Explain Strange Concept of "Basketball" & "March Madness" to Their Readers

President Obama took UK Prime Minister David Cameron to a play-in game for March Madness last night. As a result, newspapers in the UK had to explain just what the hell was going on. Basketball isn't big there -- it was the first time Cameron had ever seen a game -- so results were, well, scattered ... More >>

Lance Berkman, Cavorting with the Obamas: He's a RINO!!!

There's a new batch of official photos up on the White House Flickr page, and it includes this damning piece of evidence that Lance Berkman -- former Rice Owl, former Houston Astro, current proud church dude and proud Republican -- is pals with the Obamas. You know who else pals around with the Ob ... More >>

Power Players

The feminist artwork on view at the CAMH isn't as dated as it should be.

Obama's Best Campaign Strategy: Keep Singing The Blues

After President Obama crooning Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" at a Harlem fundraiser became an unlikely iTunes sensation, even topping the ringtone chart, history is now repeating itself with his version of "Sweet Home Chicago" caught on an episode of PBS' In Performance at the White House Tuesd ... More >>

For President's Day: The Best Movie Portrayals of 15 Presidents

Portraying presidents on screen is always tricky. Crass imitation makes the thing look like a comedy skit, but completely ignoring the mannerisms and voice that people know doesn't work either. There have been some laughingly inept acting jobs when it comes to the 44 people who have been the countr ... More >>

7 Little-Known (And Completely Unverified) Facts About U.S. Presidents

Today, the nation celebrates Presidents' Day, the most important holiday of all time. No other national holiday has such a clear purpose or overall popularity. Therefore, why not recognize this momentous occasion with a look back at some of our greatest presidents, and learn some facets of their bio ... More >>

Los Lobos

Executive Entertainers: America's Most Musical Presidents

Big-money supporters were treated to the first indelible moment in Barack Obama's reelection campaign last Thursday when the President crooned the opening lyric from Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" from the stage of the Apollo Theater in Harlem. It was just the sort of off-the-cuff instance that c ... More >>

10 Rock Stars the GOP Should Nominate for President

As the 2012 presidential race begins to heat up in earnest, Rocks Off can't help but feel that the front-runners for the Republican nomination are lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. Call it star power. Call it sex appeal. Whatever it is, these guys ain't got it. If the GOP is serious about wresti ... More >>

LBJ Museum's Big Renovation About to Start

The LBJ Museum will still resemble a bunker, even after renovations.​The LBJ Presidential Library & Museum in Austin is not one of the best of its kind -- it was built before the era when presidential libraries went big-time and devoted more resources to attracting and wowing tourists rather t ... More >>

ERRRRRR: Get Ready to Get Emergency Broadcasted On, Y'All

​A nationwide test of Emergency Alert System is set for today at 1 p.m. Houston time, when a half-minute message will air on all television and radio stations. The purpose is to test out the preparedness of the system to break into radio and TV channels to give instructions and news in the eve ... More >>

Ledisi Finds Success and Confidence in Pieces of Me

​Grammy-nominated singer Ledisi is currently on her first nationwide tour in support of her sixth album Pieces of Me. The tour has already sold out venues in New York, Philadelphia and Washington, DC.; and she pulls into Houston Thursday. "I feel great about this tour we have been selling out ... More >>

Musicians The Sedition Act Of 1918 Would Have Screwed

​Freedom of speech is one of the most cherished rights that Americans have, and the fight for that right has drawn some of the greatest legal battles in our history. We like to believe that, after 200-plus years of defense of that right, that we can take it as a given. However, this week mark ... More >>

5 Things Sarah Palin Should Know About Common

gowherehiphop.com​Dear Sarah Palin, we smelled the stench of desperation and traced it down the Twitter hallway. It led us to some foul words about rapper Common. It started when Michelle Obama scheduled a poetry event at the White House and invited several poets, including Common. Conservativ ... More >>

Five Presidents Who Could Kick Chuck Norris's Ass

Abe Lincoln: Let's get rrrrready to rrrrumble​In our continuing series of scholarly meditations on the United States Presidency, we now bring you a list of five presidents who could kick the crap out of Chuck Norris. Of note: only one of the top five served after 1908, although two honorable m ... More >>

Presidential Offspring: Seven Very Odd Outcomes of White House Fathers

Chester Arthur III: Gay liberation leader and sex astrologer​Having a president for a father is not easy: The roster of children born to America's chief executives is rife with alcoholics, suicides and failures. Some, of course, thrive. But still, there are oddities. Here are five (Bonus: Two ... More >>

No Mexico? No Problem! Five (Very Lame) Spring Break Alternatives

The Texas Department of Public Safety has strongly warned Spring Breakers from going to Mexico. whether it's one of the famous tourist cities or the border towns that for years have attracted college students. What's a person to do with their free time if they can't cross over to a magical land whe ... More >>

Idol Beat: Schlemiel. Schlimazel.

​So it seems the only difference between the two-hour Wednesday Idols and their one hour counterparts on Thursdays is twice as many "wacky" interludes (über Green Bay Packer fan Megan Frazier is going to make one lucky man...really miserable someday) and a third more shots of Steven Tyler wal ... More >>

State of the Union Preview: Five Things You're Guaranteed to See

No Nancy Pelosi on the screen tonight​President Obama addresses the Congress and the nation tonight in the annual State of the Union, which has become a rite as ossified and rigid as any. You've got the humble heroes sitting with the First Lady, the various standing o's, the predictable post-s ... More >>

Preserving the Sanctity of Marriage Through Ted Bundy and NAMBLA

Even South Park supports NAMBLA​With a closet Muslim in the White House and gay teachers recruiting our innocent children, it's no wonder that American values have crumbled to the point where four out of ten people say marriage is obselete. We can thank Time and the Pew Research Center for th ... More >>

Houston's Hottest Chefs: Monica Pope

Tam Vo​Every day this week we'll be highlighting the female winners from our poll on Houston's Hottest Chefs. On Friday we'll reveal the hottest chef of all. EOW: How does it feel to one of the hottest chefs in Houston? Monica Pope: *humbly chuckles* It's nice to be one of the hottest chefs ... More >>

CenterPoint Hits The Jackpot At The Federal Stimulus Feeding Trough

Photo courtesy White House Flickr group​Let them bitch all they want in Chicago about getting shut out of federal stimulus funds for "smart-grid" power projects. Here in Houston, we're kicking ass.The federal gummint, that socialistic, fascist Big Brother, announced today how it is spending $3.4 b ... More >>

Moody Gardens, A Bigger Tourist Attraction Than The White House

If you had your choice to stand anywhere as a tourist in the United States, where would you choose?The Las Vegas Strip? Mount Rushmore? The White House?No way, dude -- you prefer to be standing in Moody Gardens in Galveston.At least you do if you're one of the respondents to what has to be described ... More >>

Aftermath: No Doubt, Paramore, and The Sounds at Cynthia Woods

Photos by Mark C. Austin Any returning mega-band thinking of mounting a huge reunion tour to drain poor folk of their cash (cough Blink-182 cough) need look no further than No Doubt's current tour and sold-out set last night at Cynthia Woods to see how it should be done. For the bands that we ... More >>

The Bush Twins' Real Letter to the Obama Girls

Did you hear how the Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara, recently sent an open letter to the Obama girls, offering up advice for surviving life in The White House? Now, to be honest, I thought their original letter was a truly sweet and lovely gesture, and I actually think the Bush twins have turned ... More >>

Where To Indulge Your Obama-Mania In Houston

No one's going to be getting much work done around 11 a.m. Houston time tomorrow.That, of course, is when John McCain will be sworn in as the nation's first old-white-guy President; assuming you're down from the amazing high of Sunday's Lee Greenwood/Hank Williams Jr. concert at the Mall, you'll wan ... More >>

Your Election Night Soundtrack

Fanfare For The Area Man

John W. Dean

Former Nixon White House counsel calls out Bush … yup, you heard that right

Get Lit: The First Commandment, by Brad Thor

Home Front

It's In The Cards

The Nick-and-Jessica split, tarot-style

Letters to the Editor

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

News to Use

A Pearland guy causes a Beltway firestorm

Artsy Ambling

Stomp Around to five gallery openings in one night

Island Survivor

Galveston politics may get even more out of hand soon

Doing Time

With JC in the TDCJ

Reality Bytes

The White House-cracking cybergang is gone. Now Houston’s most notorious hacker hopes to reboot his life and return to his love: computers.

Protest Too Much

There was a Clinton connection to that White House demonstration

Best Public Information Officer

Fred King, Harris County district clerk's office

What's Driving Miss Shelia?

With her frenetic grandstanding, Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee has irritated her staff, her colleagues, and even the president. she says she speaks for her constituents. But will anyone listen?