Tiger Woods

2012: The Year In Zapruder, A Recap Of My Detailed Video Recaps

I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line in 2012, the Zapruder-style analysis of viral videos became my thing. Much like you'd go to Clay Travis on SEC football or to Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback for the weekend that was in the NFL, when you the reader needed hardcore ... More >>

Zapruder Analysis Of This Delightfully Awkward Interview With Tiger Woods

One thing I've learned in my five years or so of doing radio is that very few (stress VERY) athletes enjoy doing interviews. Most barely tolerate the process and treat it like it's a nuisance, something that's just part of the deal when you sign on the dotted line for seven figures. So when you see ... More >>

Michael Brown Gets The Taiwanese-Video Treatment

Michael Brown: Animated (Dildos not included)​You might have thought the criminal trial of famed hand doctor/TV-ad star Michael Brown had everything: accusations that the supposedly dotng family man assaulted his wife, cameos by superstar athletes, big-name lawyers. But it needs something els ... More >>

Happy Hour Scene: Coaches Pub

​The Place: Coaches Pub 2204 Louisiana 713-751-1970 www.coachespubmidtown.com The Deals: $2.50 domestic pints, $3.25 premium pints, $7 domestic pitchers, $2.50 wells, $4 cosmos and $3 Bud Select (the Bud Select special is all of the time) The Hours: 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. every day The Scene: ... More >>

Joey Chestnut's Stomach Is an American Hero

Joey Chestnut: Proud to be an American, where at least he knows he's free.​It's funny, about 25 years ago, right in the middle of my teenage years, I remember being figuratively beat over the head with constant reminders of "world hunger." If it wasn't the Band Aid video from a bunch of Euro a ... More >>

Best Apps For Cheating On Your Spouse, Or Finding A Cheater: Apps of the Week

It was easier to keep secrets in the 1800s.​As long as there have been relationships, there has been infidelity. There are even times in our collective history when taking a mistress was commonplace. In the last 100 years, however, the notion of love and marriage and its role in the long terms ... More >>

Golf -- My Masters Facelift

Cue the pyro and short skirts....​First, for those asking, my second annual recap of Jim Rome's Smack Off radio show will be up tomorrow sometime. If you missed my first one last year, it was a true tour de force. It, too, went up nearly four days after the actual event, so my procrastination ... More >>

Ice Cube

NFL Playoff Best Bets (and a Tiger Woods Wagering Lesson)

Angry Birds: As good a playoff-picking method as any​Every Friday (Thursday some weeks) when I go to fish the lines for that weekend's football games off the Internet, I go to the same site. (Point of non-disclosure: I will not reveal the name of the site which I use to wager go to. Easily t ... More >>

Top Ten Celebrities This Decade Who Crashed and Burned with Video Evidence

And a partridge in a pear tree...​Last week, we gave you our list of celebrities who manage to save their careers after difficult times. This week, we go a different direction. If we have learned anything from TMZ, it's that people love celebrity scandals and the more salacious it is, the more ... More >>

Thanksgiving 2010: The Post Where We Get All "Thanky"

Thank you. Thank you very much.​As we prepare to gorge ourselves today on turkey (Cajun fried is the choice here), stuffing, pumpkin bread, and perhaps something green (maaaaybe, but probably not), I want to first thank all of you who stop in and read the stuff on the blog here, not just my st ... More >>

Chilean Miners: The Important News You Have Missed, Some Of Which Involves Lindsay Lohan

Also, Texas is suing for trademark infringement​Hey there, Chilean miners -- you are climbing from the depths into the world's heart (copyright pending). As you surface, you are busy signing book and movie deals, getting some off your wife, tasting real food and beer, hoping your colleagues keep u ... More >>

Game Time: Tiger Woods -- Divorce, It Does A Body Good

Tammy Wynette never addressed the golf angle​Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Oil spills, hurricanes, divorce. Compassionate human beings don't wish any of these things upon their fellow man.That said, we live in a capitalist society. Financial Darwinism, survival of the fittest, wha ... More >>

Restaurant Chains We Wish Were In Houston

While we know that #SLGT (which means supporting local for all those sans twitter accounts) is the way to eat if you're a cool kid -- or just a supporter of locally owned independent businesses -- occasionally, the call of a familiar dish from a familiar restaurant is too much to endure without a fi ... More >>

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

He's no Johnny Depp​Yesterday on the Rocks Off blog we unveiled the Lady Gaga sex doll, Lady Gag Gag. Comments were mixed on the doll, ranging from utter confusion and strange attraction from both sexes. One commenter claimed that the model on the box was even more attractive than the real G ... More >>

Take A Ride On Your Disco Stick: The Lady Gaga Sex Doll

Over the next year Houstonians will get three chances to see Lady Gaga in the flesh, with two shows next month at Toyota Center and another one in spring at the same venue. We are pretty sure all three have now sold out, so if any of you little monsters haven't got an in on some tickets you may ... More >>

The Week In TV: So Long, Julia Sugarbaker

Even with my dependable shows in reruns, it feels good to be back in the stern embrace of David Simon. This was the week in TV Land: • Thank God for Hulu, you know? The video site is the only reason I actually keep up with Saturday Night Live most weeks. The show's had a real hard-on for tweens ... More >>

Game Time: My Five-Point Plan To Make Tiger Woods Popular Again

Ever since the sultry stories of Tiger Woods' "other life" started to leak out after Thanksgiving, the attempts to rebuild Tiger's image have gone from predictable.... ...to even more predictable.... ...to downright creepy.... (Can I coin the phrase "Nike-rophilia" for the act of using a dea ... More >>

Game Time: Earl Woods' Force Ghost Asks Tiger The Tough Questions, In The Name Of Nike

So earlier this week, we got this presser from Tiger Woods at Augusta.... For those who don't want to waste nine minutes of your life watching bullshit, just know that Tiger plans on being nicer to all of the fans, he has had to view himself in a way he never thought he'd have to, and he's never tak ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Men Are Pigs, Film At 11

With apologies to Warren Zevon: Keep on riding, riding, ridingTiger and Jesse JamesKeep on riding, riding, ridingAll those tattooed dames 2010 is already proving to be a banner year in celebrity implosion. The continuing saga of serial philanderer Tiger Woods was good enough, but then the news bro ... More >>

Game Time: The Tweet Sixteen....Readers Lament Their Brackets On Twitter

The title of my post last Friday, "My Bracket Looks Like Edward James Olmos' Face", actually came from one of my Twitter followers (@jamesmthomson). Like any blogger of integrity, I gave James full credit while inside hoping that you would ignore said credit and think that I was actually the one w ... More >>

Golfer Carol Mann: Tiger Woods Is Learning To Become a Human Being

Photo by Margaret Downing​LPGA Hall of Famer Carol Mann, the featured speaker at today's 2010 Lunch With a Legend series, said it took her until she was in her late 20s to start becoming a human being -- a metamorphosis that she says fellow golfer Tiger Woods is just embarking upon now.Mann, who h ... More >>

While You Weren't Tweeting: Tigers, Wires and Pairs, Oh My!

What was life like before the Internet? Does anyone really remember, anyway? 'Cause, you know, some kids've been choking the cyberchicken since birth, we hear. Even we fogeys certainly don't recall much before the Invasion of the Interwebs, but we'll posit a guess that we were thinner, friendle ... More >>

How Not To Give a Public Apology: A Video Primer for Tiger Woods

After months of anticipation, The Fallen One Tiger Woods will finally speak publicly this morning about his sex addiction (or at least, his addiction to having sex with an assortment of bar skanks and porn actresses). Don't expect pointed queries from a variety of media outlets, Woods won't be takin ... More >>

Game Time: Buddhism Announces That It Has Dropped Tiger Woods

  So there you go. Tiger Woods is sorry. Or so he says. If we can sift through the 15 minutes where time stood still in sports bars around the country, if we can somehow ignore all of the "hostage crisis"-level coverage this is getting on CNN, ESPN, and the Oxygen Network, then we can all step ... More >>

Game Time: Try As You Might, No One Can Take Down Tiger Woods

​I start this post with the premise that we all love attention. We crave it. Even if you don't openly admit it, there's a small part of you that likes it when you're recognized for, as J. Peterman would say, a "job....done."It's not often in the sports world that one person can usurp everyone's ... More >>

Game Time: Cranking Up The Skank-O-Meter, Your 2009 Boggsies

​It's December 23, and thus 'tis the season of "Best Of..." lists and "[fill in noun here] of the Year" rundowns. Bonus points for any year ending in the number 9 because that means we also get (drum roll please)....DECADE LISTS!! I am a total sucker for stuff like this; it's mindless, it's pointl ... More >>

Jay Rusovich Goes InsideOut To Get His Photos

​Hair Balls recently spoke with photographer Jay Rusovich by phone. The New Orleans native now lives in Houston and he's released a new book, InsideOut. There's an art exhibit of the same name currently at the Deborah Colton Gallery. Rusovich talked us through a few of the photographs viewers ... More >>

Game Time: Five NBA Games That Need "Dollar Beer Night"

Back in the day, Arco Arena in Sacramento used to rock pretty good. Even when it was hosting a perennially lottery-bound squad, and the Sacramento brass was drafting the likes of Pervis Ellison first overall in 1989 and Bobby Hurley in the 1993 lottery, fans would still show up and represent.Ultim ... More >>

Artist of the Week: Hormone-Free Vocabularian Herds-Men the Jonx

Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to introducingliston@gmail.com. ​ We first noticed The J ... More >>

What Rocks Off Found When We Hacked Tiger Woods' iPod

Since Rocks Off kindly suggested several musicians who would perhaps have made better trysting partners for Tiger Woods than waitresses, porn stars and what have you, the number of the maritally embattled golf superstar's alleged paramours has risen from nine to 11. Whoops, it's gone up from 11 to ... More >>

9 Musicians Tiger Woods Should Have Cheated With Instead of the Women He Did

Lily Allen: "Here, kitty, kitty..."​When initial word of millionaire golfer Tiger Woods' car accident in front of his home hit the news wires and Twitter the morning of November 27, the world waited with bated breath. None of us quite knew what his condition was or how extensive his injuries were. ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Other TV Moms That Might Be Lesbians

I was all set to continue riding the Tiger Woods gravy train for one more day. I even had an idea for the Fallen One's eventual triumphant comeback -- not to give too much away, but the training sequence from Rocky III figured prominently.But then the Meredith Baxter story hit, and I realized the po ... More >>

Game Time: Tiger, Why Can't You Be More Like Jeter?

​I have very few sports allegiances that drive me to either end of the emotional spectrum, especially professionally. Honestly, in the business that I'm in, I think it actually helps me think and assess things clearer than if I had a diehard rooting interest.Sure, I root for the Houston teams, a ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Tiger By The Tail

​With apologies to William Blake:Tiger! Tiger! Feeling lowIn the forests of OrlandoWhat errant hydrant (or 5-wood)Put that dent in your Caddy's hood?That silliness out of the way, here are some thoughts on the whole Eldrick Woods...thing.1. The instantaneous news cycle really is something to behol ... More >>

Game Time: Tiger Woods And John Daly Role Reversal...Oh, This Is Gonna Be Good

​I have to admit, I love a good train wreck. When you're driving down the freeway, and traffic is at a standstill because there's a five-car pile up on the OTHER side of the interstate, I'm the guy who's slowing everything down, taking it all in. My top two priorities on my DVR are Beverly Hills ... More >>

Tiger Woods Incident Proves Five Truisms Are True

​Tiger Woods' little traffic accident this holiday weekend has gripped the nation like nothing since Balloon Boy. It's also about as important as Balloon Boy.(This just in for those under-a-rock dwellers: Woods crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant and tree near his driveway at about 2:30 in the mor ... More >>

Win a Songwriting Session With Guy Clark... For a Price

Imagine getting some pointers on the links from Tiger Woods, cooking lessons from Bobby Flay or a one-on-one session with Bernie Madoff where the infamous Wall Street financier explains how to bilk investors out of millions of dollars. When it comes to songwriting, especially of the Texas persuasion ... More >>

Stupid Media Personalities: Jemele Hill, Johnny Miller, Dick Enberg and Don Imus

Get Lit: Always By My Side: A Father’s Grace and a Sports Journey Unlike Any Other, by Jim Nantz

John Royal’s Friends’ Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part Two

Singh It, Baby

Vijay and the pros take a swing at the Shell Houston Open

Anarchy in da USA

Looking for the true spirit of the Ramones? Try going to an underground hip-hop show.

Best Golf Course

Best Driving Range

Best Putt-Putt

Celebration Station

Bursting Bubbles

Someone sabotages a Channel 13 report

Quoth the Chron

The Chronicle runs out another inept marketing campaign

Best Road to Drive When You Happen to Have Your Martini Shaker Handy and Are Thirsty

Westheimer