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Blogs
April 30, 2012
10 College-Related Thoughts On The NFL Draft, Including Case Keenum
I'm not the draft expert that some of my Press colleagues are. Yet I do watch a lot of football, especially college football, and like every football fan, I have a few thoughts about some of the things that happened over this past weekend. 10. There are probably a bunch of Houston Cougar fans that ... More >>
Blogs
April 18, 2012
Don't Play It Again, Sam: More Terrible Remakes Of Great Songs (By The Original Artists)
Rocks Off covered Eric Clapton's "Layla" and several other awful updates in January. Sometimes an artist hits it big with one great song. Real big, real fast. Before they know it, they're the hot-button item, on the lips of the hip and influential across the world. Of course, a sudden rise to fame ... More >>
Blogs
March 23, 2012
Tim Tebow's First Day As A New York Jet -- A Screenplay
EXT. NEW YORK JETS HEADQUARTERS BUILDING, FLORHAM PARK, NJ -- DAY It's a cold, crisp late March afternoon as a limousine pulls into the front driveway of the Jets headquarters building. Out steps the newest New York Jet, quarterback Tim Tebow, dressed in jeans and a long coat. As he steps out of th ... More >>
Blogs
March 19, 2012
Crisis Averted, Texans Fan -- Peyton Manning Spurns Titans for Broncos
In a Texans offseason that has seen some good (Arian Foster's and Chris Myers' multiyear contract extensions), some bad (Mario Williams' leaving, although the Texans have proven they can survive that), and some ugly (the dismantling of the right side of the offensive line), strangely enough, the Tex ... More >>
Blogs
February 21, 2012
Jeremy Lin vs. Yao Ming: The Breakdown
NBA executives are beaming these days with the Tim Tebow-like mania for the Knicks' Jeremy Lin, a Harvard grad whose family comes from Taiwan. Not only is Lin getting hysteria in the States, but he is reawakening visions of opening the lucrative Chinese and Asian market back to the NBA, dreams whic ... More >>
Blogs
February 16, 2012
Top 5 College Football Drug Scandals: An Ode to TCU
Yesterday, 17 Texas Christian University students were arrested by Fort Worth authorities following a six-month drug sting. Four TCU football players -- including Tanner Brock, one of the team's top linebackers -- were among those nabbed for selling ecstasy, weed, coke and prescription pills to unde ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2012
Five Tweets That Might Get You Busted by the TSA
Most everyone gets that you can't shout "fire" in a movie theater or crack jokes about bombs on an airplane. This sort of thing will get you in a mess of trouble. But, apparently, jokes made on Twitter can also get you in trouble, particularly if you are a foreigner using slang we don't get in 'Meri ... More >>
Blogs
January 30, 2012
The Really Important Questions to Answer for the Super Bowl
So it's Super Bowl week. This game featuring a rematch between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. There will be a lot of story lines, real and imagined, developed and discussed before and during the game on Sunday. Like, for instance, the 25 mentioned below. 25. Tim Tebow because ... More >>
Blogs
January 18, 2012
10 Rock Stars the GOP Should Nominate for President
As the 2012 presidential race begins to heat up in earnest, Rocks Off can't help but feel that the front-runners for the Republican nomination are lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. Call it star power. Call it sex appeal. Whatever it is, these guys ain't got it. If the GOP is serious about wresti ... More >>
Blogs
January 13, 2012
Forget St. Elmo's Fire: Five Better Tim Tebow Remakes (From Slayer, Adele & Eric Clapton)
The world has been blessed not only by the presence of Tim Tebow, but by the re-emergence of John Parr, who was so inspired by the need to make a quick buck that he produced a Tebow-ized version of his hit "Man in Motion (Theme From St. Elmo's Fire)." To be honest, it wasn't exactly a song anyone h ... More >>
Blogs
January 13, 2012
Thank You Tebow God: Five Better Tim Tebow Remakes Than The St. Elmo's Fire Theme
We know next to nothing about football, past 1996 when the the Oilers left, but anyone with any sort of social media account knows who Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow is. The Christian extrovert has brought prayer back to the forefront of the national conversation, and now "Tebowing" - taking a ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2012
John Parr Pays Tribute to Tim Tebow with Tebow-centric "St. Elmo's Fire" Lyrics (w/ VIDEO)
In his brief NFL career as the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos, Tim Tebow has pulled off several feats that border on the miraculous -- a 7-1 run in his first eight games as their starter this season, numerous late-game comebacks, and a win over the PIttsburgh Steelers in the playoffs la ... More >>
Blogs
January 9, 2012
Texans, Tebow and BCS Titles! This Weekend's 4 Winners and 4 Losers
All right, this is starting to get ridiculous, football gods. First, you knock out Arian Foster for the first three games of the season with a hamstring injury. Then you rob us of Andre Johnson not once but twice with injuries to each hamstring, forcing him to miss most of the season. Then you rip ... More >>
Blogs
January 6, 2012
Texans, Saints and Tebow! This Weekend's NFL Playoff Best Bets
PLAYOFFS?!?!!? Oh, yeahSo is Houston ready for some playoff football? How about we go through the Reliant Stadium checklist for Saturday's game with the Bengals to find out. Notifications to season ticket holders to be in their seats 30 minutes before kickoff? Check. Colored placards in sea ... More >>
Blogs
January 2, 2012
Brinson's "Tebowin'" Puts Christianity Under Center
Rocks Off is fascinated by Tim Tebow for the simple fact that he is one of the most divisive figures we have seen in the last decade. He parts the Red Sea of public opinion, like Obama does the U.S. House of Representatives. One doesn't need to live in Denver to understand this. Simply, scro ... More >>
Blogs
December 15, 2011
Comment of the Day: Why God Hates Tim Tebow
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>
Blogs
December 14, 2011
Who Needs Tim Tebow When You Have T.J. Yates (Or Just About Any Other NFL Quarterback)?
The only proper usage of Tebowing.Vince Young was not who Jeff Fisher wanted to draft in 2006. His choice for the future quarterback of the Tennessee Titans was Jay Cutler. Bud Adams wanted Young, so Young became a Titan. Young was the 2006 NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year as the Titans we ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Top 10 Tim Tebow-Hating Tweets
Go awayThe Global Language Monitor has now recognized "Tebowing" -- "the act of taking a knee in prayer during an athletic contest" -- as an English language word. Fucking hell. Pretty sure we're not the only ones that feel that way, considering these ten tweets that dissed the Denver Bro ... More >>
Blogs
December 8, 2011
Jerry Rice Doesn't Really Grasp the Whole "Stock Market" Concept (w/ VIDEO)
Not read by Jerry Rice.It seems like every retired NFL player with any small modicum of celebrity over the last decade has found his way onto television, either on the NFL Network or ESPN. The amount of money that is spent on salaries for largely repetitive, and oftentimes useless, opinions h ... More >>
Blogs
December 5, 2011
Texans/Falcons & The NFL Weekend -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers
Photos by Marco TorresHopes are rising at ReliantThis time last season, in the aftermath of a Week 13 Michael Vick-administered beatdown on a Thursday night in Philadelphia, the Texans began preparation for a Week 14 Monday night game with the Baltimore Ravens in Houston. We all know how tha ... More >>
Blogs
November 4, 2011
Football! This Weekend's Best Bets
The Flacco Factor: Always keep it in mindIt's the first weekend of football in November. In college football, this means we get into nut-cutting time, weekends that completely weed out the real championship contenders. This weekend includes a quasi-final four in the SEC with the huge LSU- Ala ... More >>
Blogs
October 28, 2011
Football! This Weekend's Best Bets
Tim Tebow, in the act of TebowingSo I said last weekend that we were in the midst of one of the most dominant, and in turn most predictable streaks in college football. The top ten teams each week were crushing the books to the tune of covering the number about 80 percent of their games. Two ... More >>
Blogs
October 24, 2011
Texans/Titans -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (Including Tim Tebow)
Arian Foster's not dead yet.It's amazing how quickly things can change. Sometimes, it takes a matter of a few weeks, like with the Kansas City Chiefs. After being outscored 89-10 the first two weeks of the season, the Chiefs were left for dead, Todd Haley was the chalk for every "first coac ... More >>
Blogs
October 19, 2011
NFL Quarterback Carousel -- Assessing The Changes
It's a hard-knock lifeIt goes without saying that, other than "best player on NBA team regardless of position," quarterback of an NFL team is the single most influential individual position impacting results in a team sport. So imagine if one-sixth of the teams in the NBA decided to bench th ... More >>
Blogs
September 8, 2011
2011 NFL Preview, Spoken In Wagering-ese
The betting window is openI hope everyone who has had a chance to check out our Texans 2011 preview "The New Normal" has enjoyed it. Big ups to Monica Fuentes for coming up with the season-long interactive game card tracking Texans' results. You need to go check it out. If you haven't read ... More >>
Blogs
April 19, 2011
Cam Newton Flunks Camp Gruden (w/ VIDEO)
Cam Newtown: We got a 36 play, a 37 play, all kinds of plays.While ESPN has become a bit of a safe haven for literally dozens of retired players and terminated coaches who have no business on television, occasionally they come up with a gem. If you cast the net wide enough, you have to, righ ... More >>
Blogs
March 22, 2011
My Madden 2012 Cover Ballot
What do you think should go on the cover of Madden 12?I've said it before, I'm a total sucker for lists. "5 Best This." "8 Worst That." "9 Reasons So-and-so Boned Such-and-such." List it and I'm in. Some will criticize this, and call it a sign of a lazy mind, that I need my world assembled ... More >>
Blogs
December 31, 2010
College Football Bowls -- This Week's Best Bets
The color, the pageantry of college footballSince it's Week 17 of the NFL season, we're changing it up a little bit this week. I don't know about people who actually know what they're doing when it comes to wagering, but my experience with the NFL in Week 17 is that it's a good time to stay ... More >>
Blogs
December 28, 2010
Gary Kubiak: Three Questions To Be Answered Without The Same Tired Script
Gary Kubiak: Three simple questionsThe only thing that has become more predictable than the Houston Texans' collective performance each Sunday (or random Monday or Thursday) is Gary Kubiak's weekly "day after game" press conference, not surprising since the content for the latter is a direct ... More >>
Blogs
December 27, 2010
Broncos & Tim Tebow 24, Texans 23: If You're Disappointed, You're Not Thinking Big Picture
In and of itself, Sunday's collapse against Denver is virtually the same story that has played out countless other times over the past two seasons for the Texans. Yet the franchise has never been this close to finally breaking through. In seven days, the nightmare that is 2010 comes to an ... More >>
Blogs
December 23, 2010
More Rex Ryan, the Ryan Leaf Trilogy & NFL Best Bets
Rex Ryan: Can you smell them from here is the questionTwo more shopping days left. I need money. You need money. So let's get to winning. And by winning let's find a way to weave more Rex Ryan "foot fetish" talk into a handicapping discussion. Can we do this? (Can we touch them? Can we sm ... More >>
Blogs
July 1, 2010
Top Five '80s Cereal Commercials
If the food police wanted to really control childhood obesity, then they would just go into every grocery store in America and set fire to the cereal isle. But, we know that the sugar-coated cereal lobby led by Sam the Toucan, Dig-Em the Frog and their evil leader Tony the Tiger is just too powerful ... More >>
Blogs
April 30, 2010
Game Time: Kentucky Derby -- Ten "Two Minute Events" More Exciting Than Horses Galloping
Between-race entertainment at the DerbyI love horse racing. Actually, to be clear, I love the act of going to the racetrack -- any racetrack -- and sitting in the bleachers (do they call them "bleachers" at a racetrack?) with three or four of my buddies, drinking about twelve beers, eating roughl ... More >>
News
April 22, 2010
Chron's Feelings Are Hurt
HBO drama didn't celebrate Houston as best-est place.
Blogs
April 16, 2010
Game Time: Jerry Jones' Drunken Tebow Analysis -- Why I'm Conflicted
"Bill's not worth a shit, I love him....not worth a shit, but I wanted...they were on my ass so bad. They said J's gotta have a 'Yes Man,' so to get this fucking stadium, I need to bring his ass in." -- Jerry Jones, Owner, Dallas CowboysI'm about to vent a little bit and be part of the problem I'm ... More >>
Blogs
April 13, 2010
Game Time: Best-Case NFL Draft Scenario For HBO's Hard Knocks Fans
In the end, I guess someone had to go. If you're the front office of a proud franchise like the Steelers, you can only have so many impromptu press conferences, district attorney explanations, and women screaming foul before a message needs to get sent. You're not going to move the star quarte ... More >>
Blogs
March 18, 2010
Game Time: We Interrupt March Madness For This Earl Thomas Interview
By the time this post is up, March Madness will have tipped off, so I hope everyone was able to glean enough "infotainment" (a word my good friend WWE Hall of Famer, Jim Ross, loves to use) to mentally and psychologically prepare you for the next few weeks. If you missed it, you can get the Mar ... More >>
Blogs
January 27, 2010
Game Time: We Interrupt This Tebow Documentary For Seven Other Reasons To Watch The Senior Bowl
Every year around this time, NFL prospects gather in Mobile, Alabama for the beginning of what amounts to a three-month job interview, complete with numerous forty-yard dashes, questions about their upbringing, and requests to "cough while I stick my fingers right...HERE!" It's a fascinating tim ... More >>
Blogs
January 1, 2010
Game Time: Areans Vs. Crittenton In Pistols...And We're Off And Running In 2010
Happy New Year to all of you. Quick question -- what is the record for breaking a New Year's Resolution that doesn't involve alcohol, drugs or sex? Because I just ate a Chipwich for breakfast...just wondering. Well, 2010 is here, and that means we get to hit the reset button on "Surreal Story of ... More >>
Blogs
December 11, 2009
Game Time: Sure Thing...Betting The Opposite Of The Village Idiot
If you're keeping track, you know that I've been sucking on my football picks since I started posting here at Hair Balls. My sincere hope is that all of you are doing the smart thing and running to the pay window with picks the exact opposite of mine, and laughing gleefully while doing so. I dese ... More >>
Blogs
December 10, 2009
Game Time: Previewing College Football Awards Night
Last night, the Rotary Lombardi Award for the top lineman in college football was given to Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. To anyone who watched him play this year, or even just watched him rag-doll and chokeslam the Texas offensive line in the Big XII championship game, Suh's winning th ... More >>
Blogs
November 26, 2009
Sports Things To Be Thankful For, And Not Thankful For
It's that time of year when we start to look back at the events that have happened. And since it's Thanksgiving, I thought I would give a list of sports things for which I'm thankful, as well as listing a few of the turkeys of the year. So...1. I'm thankful for the MLB Network. The network and it ... More >>
Blogs
November 11, 2009
UH's Case Keenum -- What's A Dude Got To Do To Get Some Heisman Love?
The end of the college football season is fast approaching, and the rest of the nation is finally learning something that Houston Cougar fans have known all season. The best player in the country isn't Colt McCoy or Tim Tebow. The best player is Case Keenum.Several sites which poll Heisman vote ... More >>
Blogs
November 2, 2009
Game Time: Weekend Review
I hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you were all able to enjoy the nice weather by moving your television and recliner into your driveway to watch football on TV. I'd like to start off by welcoming the Texans to this new thing for them called "November". Boys, I know in ... More >>
Blogs
January 9, 2009
Longhorns Sue For BCS Title; Coach Brown: "We're Texas, Damn It"
Austin -- Following last night's Florida Gators victory over the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS Title Game, the Texas Longhorns football team held a press conference outside of the main entrance to Darrell K. Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium. Head Coach Mack Brown, reading from a prepared statement, st ... More >>
Blogs
January 9, 2009
Longhorns Sue For BCS Title; Coach Brown: "We're Texas, Damn It"
Austin -- Following last night's Florida Gators victory over the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS Title Game, the Texas Longhorns football team held a press conference outside of the main entrance to Darrell K. Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium. Head Coach Mack Brown, reading from a prepared statement, st ... More >>
Blogs
July 29, 2008
Tim Tebow Is So Not the Greatest
Austin -- Following last night's Florida Gators victory over the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS Title Game, the Texas Longhorns football team held a press conference outside of the main entrance to Darrell K. Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium. Head Coach Mack Brown, reading from a prepared statement, st ... More >>
Blogs
July 25, 2007
Video Game Review: NCAA Football 08
Austin -- Following last night's Florida Gators victory over the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS Title Game, the Texas Longhorns football team held a press conference outside of the main entrance to Darrell K. Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium. Head Coach Mack Brown, reading from a prepared statement, st ... More >>
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