U.S. Republican Party

Nearly Half of Republicans Believe an Armed Revolution May Be Imminent. No, Seriously.

It's been a while since we've experienced a good, wholesome armed revolution. We had one a few hundred years ago, birthing our nation. Texas had its own just a a few generations after that, bringing us another nation, and another state. And while the Confederacy faltered during the mid-19th-century, ... More >>

State Education Board Adds to Conservative Voices Coming Out Against Patrick's Voucher Plans

As if there weren't already enough public voices coming out against Sen. Dan Patrick's neo-voucher scheme -- Republican Rep. Joe Strauss, the Speaker of the House, already noted that a bill diverting public dollars to private education would never make it pass his chamber -- there's another prominen ... More >>

George Prescott Bush, Yes, ANOTHER One, Considering Run for State Office

Honestly, I thought George Foreman had a lot of Georges in his family, but now I'm beginning to wonder if the Bush clan doesn't have him beat. First there was George H.W. Bush, then George W. Bush. Now, there's George P. Bush (maybe even P.G. if you count his second middle name), son to Jeb and gran ... More >>

What Does "Wey" Mean?

And should the U.S. bring back the guest-worker program for Mexicans?

Does Calling a Mexican "Hispanic" or "Latino" Say Something about Your Political Ideology?

And why do Mexicans love "Crystal Blue Persuasion" So Much?

From The GOP Convention: The Seven Craziest Souvenirs

Our sister paper Miami New Times is hard at work covering the 2012 Republican convention in Florida. To which we say Thank Christ because, you know, someone has to. We did our time in the Dome in 1992. New Times' Victor Gonzalez has been roaming the halls, looking for the mementoes available to att ... More >>

The Republican Candidate's Guide To Picking Campaign Music

This week Republicans from around the country gather in Florida to celebrate all things conservative and curse Issac for stealing the national spotlight. For me the 2012 Republican National Convention marks the true start of the presidential campaign season, the playoffs to the primaries' regular se ... More >>

Your Gonzo Guide to the Republican National Convention

From cash-hungry strippers to protesters dressed as vaginas.

An Obamacare Playlist You Can Afford

The Supreme Court's decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act has now been almost two weeks ago. If you keep up with national news, or maybe just don't avoid the Internet machine, well, you have probably observed that people are still noticeably buzzing about the ruling. It does happen to be one o ... More >>

Obama's Mini-DREAM Act: Who Wouldn't Want These People As Citizens?

President Obama has thrown Republicans into a tizzy by having the Department of Homeland Security issue new guidelines, effective immediately, that put much of the defeated DREAM act into law. Obama announced that the following persons would be granted deportation waivers: People who came to the U. ... More >>

Hispanics Saving Texas Democrats: A Perpetual Mirage?

The quixotically optimistic Texas Democrats -- who haven't won a statewide election since 1994 -- bellowed a lot of things at the Texas Democratic Convention last weekend, but, really, most of it seemed to translate to one refrain. All together now: The Hispanics are going to save us! The Hispan ... More >>

Booing Rick Perry's Plug For Dewhurst? Other Possibilities

The crowd at the state GOP convention was listening to a very Rick Perry-like speech from Rick Perry when all of a sudden he injected that "my friend David Dewhurst" should be sent to Washington. Then, booing commenced. Or so the lamestream media would have you believe. Perry, ducking reporters af ... More >>

Obama's Best Campaign Strategy: Keep Singing The Blues

After President Obama crooning Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" at a Harlem fundraiser became an unlikely iTunes sensation, even topping the ringtone chart, history is now repeating itself with his version of "Sweet Home Chicago" caught on an episode of PBS' In Performance at the White House Tuesd ... More >>

Hispanic Savior and a Donkey Devotee

Jack Donaghy Backs Romney: Our Favorite TV Characters Vote

The Republicans are whittling down now to the bare bones. Not to discredit anyone, but the race is basically Rom vs. Newt for the win. While we don't really miss the circus show that was the Republican Party just a few short months ago, at least we had more options. Now that we are getting down to t ... More >>

10 Rock Stars the GOP Should Nominate for President

As the 2012 presidential race begins to heat up in earnest, Rocks Off can't help but feel that the front-runners for the Republican nomination are lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. Call it star power. Call it sex appeal. Whatever it is, these guys ain't got it. If the GOP is serious about wresti ... More >>

President Perry Likes Big Butts, And You Other Brothers Can't Deny

The website Go Animate is offering everyone a chance to create a brief animation for the GOP presidential field. You choose a backdrop, provide the lines, and your candidate is spouting whatever you say. You don't get the chance to say much, though, so we couldn't have President Rick Perry offer an ... More >>

Rick Perry's Big Campaign-Cash Haul: Phil Gramm Redux?

Connally: One very expensive delegate​The political world is abuzz today with word of Rick Perry's impressive fundraising. Right after he entered the GOP presidential primary, Perry hauled in $17.1 million. The cah grab could "counter the perception that his campaign his struggling," the AP s ... More >>

Republicans Dominate Democrats...in Tweeting

​Our modern technological age has created a lot of new ways to communicate with others. For some, these means seem cold and impersonal. For those who use them regularly, they are simply another option for sending messages into the giant black hole of data that is the Internet. For politicians ... More >>

Perry's Prayerapalooza: Let the Downsizing Begin (Also: Worst Fast Ever)

The responee to The Response has been underwhelming.​Rick Perry's famous call for the nation's governors to come to Houston this weekend to pray and fast is looking more and more like a mistake to all but the religious right. Of course, if he's looking to win a GOP primary, he may just get by ... More >>

Debt Ceiling: The 10 Worst Tweets From the Texas GOP Congressional Delegation

Tweets don't fail me now​As the GOP debates whether it wants the Tea Party to drive it (and the country) off a cliff by playing games with the debt ceiling, we looked to Twitter for the updates from our state's congresssional delegation. Oddly, the Republicans didn't tweet anything like "Yes, ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Trump's Out -- Bridging the 2012 Asshole Gap

Now we'll never know what his currency would have looked like.​With apologies to Richard Adams: My heart has joined the Thousand. Donald Trump stopped running today: "After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the presidency," Trump announced in ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Back to the `50s, But All The Way

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Hand Doctor Michael Brown and Tax Cuts

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Return to Sender

What Would Comprehensive Immigration Reform Look Like If the Feds Got Off Their Duffs?

Rep. Aaron Pena: GOP Gets Its Supermajority In Texas House: Now It Begins

It's a stampede!!​The upcoming legislative session in Austin might get pretty wild and entertaining -- if not beneficial to anyone who fears the GOP/Tea Party agenda -- thanks to a move today. State Rep. Aaron Pena, a Democrat from Edinburg, is about to announce he is now Aaron Pena, Republic ... More >>

Pineapple-infused Tuaca at 360 Sports Lounge

President Rick Perry: Five Reasons It Will Happen, Five Reasons It Won't

President Rick Perry.​Governor Rick Perry, the man who has shown the ability to ride a crest of not really being liked to three gubernatorial wins, has done it again.He beat a Democrat in Texas, in the Tea Party year of 2010. A stunning achievement. Still, from now on the press will breathlessly b ... More >>

Tea Party Time: Texas Will Be Ground Zero For How They Govern

Time to govern​Second-day opening paragraphs on stories about disasters such as air crashes always include something about "picking through the charred wreackage." And that's what Democrats are doing now in Texas, where the state legislature races were, well, a disaster.No other state in the count ... More >>

Waiting Room: The Brand-New Health-Care Package Needs Its Own Soundtrack

​This past week, the health-care reform debate reached an end, as the bill was passed by Congress Sunday night and signed into law by President Barack Obama on Tuesday. At stake was the health and well-being of millions of uninsured Americans who now stand to be covered by socialized governmen ... More >>

Kay Bailey Hutchison Continues To Nail Down The Inside-The-Beltway Vote So Important To The Texas GOP This Year

​Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison rolled out the big guns today as President George H.W. Bush endorsed her. Coming on the heels of the recent endorsement of former Secretary of State James Baker, Hutchison has ably demonstrated what it takes to win the GOP gubernatorial primary. If it were being run i ... More >>

The Tug of War

Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchison are locked in a pitched battle over the soul of the GOP. They are also running for governor.

A Country Requiem for the GOP

Finding the Write Candidate

A Little Jump to the Right

Can a ballot triple shift win City Hall for the GOP?

Best Polling Place

Minute Maid Park

Elephants Versus RINOs

Party veterans sound alarms at the proposed GOP political-purity rules

War on bin Laden -- or Unions?

Bush's battle against terrorism now bars some federal labor activities

GOP Jitters

While a party chair guards his rear, Vision America makes judges nervous

Does Not Compute

Loopholes still hamper electronic reporting of campaign finances

GOP Mayoral Pipe Dreams

West U rejected them, so how will they ever win Houston's City Hall?

An Open Mike

He wants to castrate pedophiles and purge the courts of politics. He has assailed fellow jurists, lawyers and lawmakers. He's maverick Mike McSpadden, a tennis ace with a tomahawk tongue.

Blocking Shots

We pay for the arena; they'll finance the campaign

Subpoena Envy

A legislative panel summons local GOP leaders to a show-and-tell

GOP Inc.

How "Scary" Gary Polland turned his party apparatus into a political slot machine

The Day the Democrats Died

Learning to love the one-party state

The Insider

The Talented Mr. Stockman. A defeated politician resurrects himself in Seventh District heaven with a stash of campaign cash

Which Bug Gets the Gas?

Will the next house DeLay fumigates be that big White one or his own?

GOP Sweeps Week

Republicans complete Texas political reconstruction

The Insider