U.S. Secret Service

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2014

    Four Controversial Songs By Current Houston Acts

    Controversy abounds, as it always has. But we're reminded more frequently than ever just how confusing our modern day existence is, what with these phones-turned-newspapers and social-media feeds and such. In Denmark, Santa Claus is apparently a heinous slave owner who dictates his nefarious Chris ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2014

    The Five Most Repellent Things Ted Nugent Has Ever Done

    If your favorite gun store was out of ammo this morning, it's because Ted Nugent is back in town. The Motor City Madman rumbles into House of Blues tonight, and he's sure to bring the requisite shitload of guitar solos and flaming arrows with him. And hey, that's great -- at least it was, 40 years ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 5, 2014

    Five Badass Things You Didn't Know About Kenny G

    Today is the 58th birthday of one Kenneth Gorelick, better known to the world as Kenny G. Now, when I say the name Kenny G you probably picture a man whose smooth jazz saxophoning is perfect for the uptight squares of the world, but who simply cannot hang with the truly badass musicians that you lik ... More >>

  • Film

    October 3, 2013

    Parkland Can't Quite Honor Life After JFK

    The film on the momentous event fails to rise to the occasion.

  • Film

    June 27, 2013

    White House Down Is the Best Parody Since Team America

    Intentional or not, this film is proof Hollywood can make a memorable comedy.

  • Blogs

    February 8, 2013

    George W. Bush: Soapy, Hot Nude Shower Pics RIGHT HERE!!

    Let's face it -- throughout the long presidency of George W. Bush, with all the fake wars, the lack of effort to get Bin Laden, the Gilded Age treatment of the richest one percent and Wall Street, you struggled with one thing: Where were the nude shots? Unfortunately, no paparazzi has been able to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 30, 2012

    A Gallery Of U.S. Presidents Working On Their Fitness

    I don't know about you guys, but when I looked at the crop of Republican presidential candidates about a year ago, as the media and primary wars waged on, I could only think about what they would look like jogging or working out. It's a hidden hot-button issue. Depraved, mindless people like me vote ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 16, 2012

    Obama Mural Defaced Once Again, But You Cannot Kill It

    Uh-oh, did we just put "Obama" and "kill" in the same line? We'll expect our Secret Service call any day now. The Breakfast Klub's eye-catching Obama mural by Reginald Adams, which has been attracting attention at Alabama and Travis since 2008, has been defaced yet again. It should be used to such ... More >>

  • News

    August 9, 2012
  • Blogs

    May 4, 2012

    Jerry "The King" Lawler Piledrives Clipper Fan: Old School WWE Wrestlers for Each NBA Playoff Series (w/ VIDEO)

    People laugh dismissively when I say it, but the more they can incorporate WWE performers and the general WWE "way" of entertainment, the more enjoyable other genres of sports will become. No, I'm not talking about the predetermined outcomes of matches (The NBA has already incorporated that aspect o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 24, 2012

    Harry Truman and Bess: Another E-mail from Your Dad

    Like most of you, I get e-mails from my dad full of "facts" that are basically telling me how much better life was in the past than it is now. People were more respectful, politicians were more honest, and values were more...valued? Case in point, yesterday I received a list of trivia about Harry ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 17, 2012 Takedown: No Court Order? Apparently, No Problem

    Imagine for a moment you own a business and are being investigated for a crime. You come to work and your offices are shut down and your phones turned off by your building's management at the request of the government. Now, take it a step further and imagine that you weren't the one being investiga ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2011

    Synaca Thomas and Brittany Jordan: Couple Take $5 Bills and Turn Them into a Half-Million Worth of $100 Bills

    Could that be a $5 bill?​A husband-wife team has been indicted for counterfeiting after allegedly spending up to $500,000 in fake $100 bills that started out as $5 bills. Synaca Thomas, 34, and his wife Brittany Jordan, 25, of Cypress, passed the bills at Houston-area businesses for two years ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2011

    Upcoming Events

    Photo by Katharine ShilcuttYou can even pose outside a mockup of Air Force One with a Secret Service dummy at the TAFR cookoff.​Last year, the Texas Association of First Responders (TAFR) Wild Game Cookoff at Sam Houston Race Park was by far the best barbecue cookoff I attended all year. With ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2011

    The Five Dark Secrets America's First Ladies Wanted Desperately to Keep Private

    Let me tell you what my astrologer said, Warren​The position of First Lady is often a thankless one. A surprising number of presidential wives, usually citing health, were all but recluses during their husband's administration, brooding out of sight like something out of Jane Eyre. Others hav ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 19, 2011

    The Five Hottest Presidential Daughters

    Continuing on with our C-SPANish investigation into White House sex and beauty (five horniest presidents here, five hottest presidential mistresses here), we now take time to examine the five hottest presidential daughters. Once again, time has not been kind to pre-20th Century candidates. Either p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2010

    George W. Bush's Fifth Ward River Oaks Book-Signing Sold Out

    George W. Bush: Ask him about his belt​Currently unemployed former Houstonian George W. Bush will be in town this week to sign copies of his book, offering customers a rare chance to pay full price for Decision Points before it hits the cutout bins. He's appearing in an obscure, out-of-the-wa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2010

    Rappers Vs. Uncle Sam: N.W.A., Eminem, Kanye...

    ​Mike Myers will probably go down in history as the most uncomfortable white guy next to a black guy in TV history, thanks to Kanye West's unscripted outburst during that infamous Hurricane Katrina telethon. It began with Myers reading his part of the script verbatim. Two-thirds into the PSA, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 13, 2010

    Obama & JFK: Five Ominous Parallels Someone's Aware Of, Right?

    The Secret Service is on the case, we hope​As the dog days descend upon us, the mind starts to wander.It may wander so much that it occasionally turns into Fox News, although this is not recommended. Same with trolling though right-wing blogs.It's a scary world out there, folks. And it brings to m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 19, 2010

    Obama Assassination: It's Not Just For Geometry Anymore!

    Official White House photoObama, we hardly knew ye, but your death will help us teach geometry​A teacher in Alabama has been placed on leave after he used a hypothetical assassination of President Obama to teach his geometry class about angles.On the one hand, the guy's just trying to get his kids ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 12, 2010

    Silence Of The Hams

    Photos by Katharine ShilcuttThis was a pig at one time.​Sad to report that I'm not clever enough to have come up with that little pun on my own (or even, "It puts the BBQ sauce on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!" - a friend came up with that gem shortly afterwards). No, the credit fo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 2, 2009

    Facebook Poll Says Killing Obama Isn't Okay

    ​Cyber stalkers, prolific e-haters, overzealous blog followers, Facebook poll developers and authors. Fine, fine company indeed, wouldn't you agree? But more notably, what do they all have in common? They're all enough to put a seriously debilitating quiver in your nether regions, and no, not the ... More >>

  • News

    September 17, 2009

    Spy Story

    Con man or super spook — either way, Roland Carnaby wasn't supposed to meet his death on a Houston highway in a high-speed chase with the cops.

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2009

    25 More Random Facts About the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo

    Photo by JaseMan Okay Mr. Connelly, I read your post from yesterday about the "25 Random Facts About the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo." So I consider myself tagged, and will now do my 25 Random Facts About the Rodeo, derived from the way too many years I worked that damn thing as part of the in- ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2009

    25 More Random Facts About the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo

    Photo by JaseMan Okay Mr. Connelly, I read your post from yesterday about the "25 Random Facts About the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo." So I consider myself tagged, and will now do my 25 Random Facts About the Rodeo, derived from the way too many years I worked that damn thing as part of the in- ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2009

    The Likely Conspiracies Behind The Katy ISD Counterfeit Ring

    Various news outlets reported Wednesday that the Katy Independent School District received 10 reports of counterfeit bills passed in school cafeterias in the past couple of months. These include several high schools and an elementary school.Steve Stanford, district spokesperson for KISD, tells Hair ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2009

    The Bush Twins' Real Letter to the Obama Girls

    Did you hear how the Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara, recently sent an open letter to the Obama girls, offering up advice for surviving life in The White House? Now, to be honest, I thought their original letter was a truly sweet and lovely gesture, and I actually think the Bush twins have turned o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2009

    Living In W's Hood

      Josh Harkinson used to write for us here at the Houston Press before he decided that living in San Francisco was somehow a lifestyle upgrade.Now he writes for Mother Jones, continuing his stellar career of raking muck.It turns out that Harkinson grew up just six blocks from where George ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2009

    Is Obama's New Family Dog Coming From Houston?

    The saga of the Obama family dog has made the entire nation forget the fact that they soon will be out of jobs, to a degree.The new first family is committed to adopting a rescued dog; an Obama daughter has allergy problems so the process of choosing a pet has become complicated.Now comes word that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2008
  • Blogs

    July 30, 2008

    Bold New immigration Plan -- Give Yourself Up

    The San Antonio Express-News is reporting (through a Chron link) that the federal government has a new, exciting plan to deal with undocumented/illegal aliens. Turn yourself in. "Operation Scheduled Departure" will take away all the hassle of getting arrested and deported, says Julie Myers, the he ... More >>

  • Calendar

    May 15, 2008

    Elizabeth Edwards

    The politician’s wife discusses her life — the good and the bad

  • Film

    February 21, 2008
  • Blogs

    November 21, 2007

    Drenched In Blog: Being Thankful for JFK Conspiracy Theories

    Not only is tomorrow the day before Black Friday, the retail apocalypse, it’s also the 44th anniversary of JFK’s assassination. Yes, it was November 22, 1963, a sunny day in Dallas, when about a million conspiracy theories were born. Some involve the Mafia, the Cubans, the Russians, the military ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2007

    Get Lit: The First Commandment, by Brad Thor

    My wife had just finished getting a procedure at the hospital, so I entered the recovery room and put down the review copy of the book I’d been killing time with. One of the nurses picked it up, wide-eyed with excitement. “The new Brad Thor is out?!” she gasped. Yes. Yes it is. Whether that ... More >>

  • News

    October 20, 2005

    Back to Busch

    The Astros' first five NLCS games, as they happened

  • Calendar

    August 11, 2005

    Ropin' the Rat

    The Houston Texans square off against the Broncos

  • Film

    April 21, 2005

    Lost in Translation

    All talk and little action, The Interpreter doesn't even make sense

  • Film

    January 8, 2004

    Chasing Mandy

    A pop-star-turned-actress tries to move into her "mature phase"

  • Music

    October 23, 2003

    Electric Shtick

    The Electric Six's shenanigans have them laughing all the way to the bank

  • Film

    July 17, 2003

    Ms. Deal

    When it comes to movies for Mandy, Moore isn't better

  • News

    December 27, 2001

    Laff Riot

    Watch out -- it's Wacky Time at Houston's only daily

  • News

    November 15, 2001

    Quirky Yes, Al Qaeda No

    Feds find weird art but not anthrax terrorists at the Art Car Museum

  • Film

    April 27, 2000

    Seek Bomb Shelter

    Director Rod Lurie's nuclear debate blows up in his face

  • News

    October 28, 1999
  • News

    May 28, 1998
  • Film

    February 13, 1997

    Power Outage

    Eastwood crawls over the hill and into the sunset

  • News

    February 23, 1995
  • News

    July 21, 1994

    The Watchman of the Electronic Frontier

    As the cyber-future creeps toward Houston, one group stands guard: EFH

  • Film

    March 10, 1994
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