U.S. State Politics

Perry Spokesperson Welcomes Obama to Texas. Perry Himself? Not So Much

Sometimes, silence truly is deafening. Rick Perry spends an awful lot of time engaging anyone who will listen around the country on why they ought to move to Texas. It's good for business. We got lots o' guns. We let you live the way you want to live. We don't have no dad-gum income taxes. We're jus ... More >>

AG Greg Abbott Bans Same-Sex Benefits In Cities, Counties & School Districts, Sorta

Attorney General Greg Abbott, in an ironic twist of timing, has struck down the ability of cities, counties and school districts to offer domestic partner benefits. By almost any measure, today was a landmark day for the GLBT community, with all eyes focused on basketball player Jason Collins, the ... More >>

Texas Might Finally See the "Crack Cocaine" Gambling Its Citizens Seem to Love

Cathie Adams knows where she stands on slots. She's done the research. She's conducted the interviews. She's seen what can happen when someone finds their way to the bright, baubly machines from which casinos get a heft of their income. "They're called the crack cocaine of gambling," Adams, preside ... More >>

Beer Nuts: State Alcoholic Beverage Laws Front and Center with Lege This Week

No doubt some of you may want to know the many ways the Texas legislature is going to improve your opportunities this session to drink alcoholic spirits. Toss the kids and forget Medicaid, there's always one or two more ways to tinker with the state's alcoholic beverage code each session. No doubt, ... More >>

Possibly Coming to a Texas High-School Football Field Near You: Only One Full-Contact Practice Per Week

Last Thursday, State Representative Eddie Lucio III, a Democrat from Brownsville, filed House Bill 887. If enacted, the law would limit middle-school and high-school football programs to one full-contact practice per week. "Like most people, I'm influenced by the stories I read and the news I see. ... More >>

Rick Perry Should Pee in a Cup if the Poor Have to for Benefits, State Rep Joe Deshotel Says

Texas Senate Bill 11 aims to make drug-testing mandatory for all applicants to the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program. If applicants pee dirty, they would be ineligible to reapply for one year, unless they enroll in a treatment program. The bill would also require that parents who flunk ... More >>

OMG Helena Brown Was Right! We Are Drowning in Debt (Or Are We? Susan Combs Decides)

Quick, someone find a fiscal cliff to jump from. Susan Combs, the Texas comptroller of public accounts, released a report Wednesday saying we're all screwed. Public debt at the local level -- including community colleges, municipalities, school districts, etc. -- has more than doubled in the last d ... More >>

Texas GOP Slapped Again: Now Judges Toss Voter ID Law

For the second time this week, federal judges have dealt setbacks to grand plans by Texas Republicans to suppress the minority vote protect the sanctity of the ballot. Tuesday a federal panel found the state's new redistricting maps to be biased; today another panel has ruled that the new voter ID ... More >>

Bye, Bye Rick Perry: How Ted Cruz Became Texas' Most-Important Republican -- and He's Not Even Elected!

Rick Perry, it's so over. Sure, you've been fun. Hell, you've been great to us here at Hair Balls. Like that time you thought Solyndra, a solar company, was a country? Or, when you applauded George W. Bush for all his work defending us from freedom? Oh, man. That was a good one. And just recently wh ... More >>

Ted Cruz Is Here to Protect Texas from the UN

Texas Republican voters finally jumped to their senses Tuesday and followed the clarion call of Sarah Palin by electing Ted Cruz to the U.S. Senate over pallid insider David Dewhurst. The upset was the latest bit of rebellion from the Tea Party, adding to the footnotes that will be written in poli ... More >>

Perry Demands Obama Apologize for Holder's "Incendiary" Remarks

Governor Rick Perry took time out of his busy schedule of telling the federal government to kiss his ass and whopping up on socialists to demand an apology from the President for remarks made by the U.S. Attorney General at the NAACP convention held in Houston last week. Apparently, Perry thought Ho ... More >>

Gail Collins

Hispanics Saving Texas Democrats: A Perpetual Mirage?

The quixotically optimistic Texas Democrats -- who haven't won a statewide election since 1994 -- bellowed a lot of things at the Texas Democratic Convention last weekend, but, really, most of it seemed to translate to one refrain. All together now: The Hispanics are going to save us! The Hispan ... More >>

Crossing the Line: Bordering on Revolution

A hostile Supreme Court. A feckless Obama administration. America's war on Mexicans has gone too far.

Booing Rick Perry's Plug For Dewhurst? Other Possibilities

The crowd at the state GOP convention was listening to a very Rick Perry-like speech from Rick Perry when all of a sudden he injected that "my friend David Dewhurst" should be sent to Washington. Then, booing commenced. Or so the lamestream media would have you believe. Perry, ducking reporters af ... More >>

Keith Judd: Texas Prisoner/Presidential Candidate Does Shockingly Well in West Virginia Primary

Majestically mulleted Texas prisoner-cum-presidential candidate Keith Judd has picked up 41 percent of the vote in West Virginia's Democratic primary. (We examined the Keith Judd phenomenon back before he was just a gleam in West Virginia's eye.) The Associated Press reports that Judd, serving time ... More >>

Incendiary: The Willingham Case

Let the Super Bowl/Human Trafficking Stories Begin Again!

It's a staple of every Super Bowl: Politicians pumping up the idea that a tidal wave of prostitutes, many of them underage, are about to descend on the host city. News outlets lap it up, and no one pays any attention to post-mortem comments from cops who say they didn't notice any real increase in ... More >>

Gay Rick Perry: The Rumors Resurface

Ready for your Kindle.​Kick a man while he's down, why don't you? Rick Perry has effectively taken himself out of the GOP nomination race, it seems, and he did it by his performance on the stump, not by skeletons in the closet coming out. But now that he's seemingly buried, former state rep ... More >>

The Wylie Llama for President

The singer-songwriter on ­Michelle Bachmann, seceding from the Union, big hair and wild hogs.

BP to Pay $50 Million in Civil Penalties for Pollution Connected to Texas City Blast, AG Says

The Texas City blast​Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott has announced that BP has agreed to pay a $50 million fine "for unlawfully emitting pollutants during and after the March 2005 explosion" at its Texas City plant. The civil penalties come two years after BP paid $50 million to resolve fe ... More >>

Unimportant News: Rick Perry Places "Friendly World Series Wager." Important News: He Puts a Period in Dr Pepper!!!

NO PERIOD, Governor.​If your state has a team in the World Series, chances are your governor is going to make a silly bet with a cohort from the other league. So it's no surprise Rick Perry has a bet with someone called Jay Nixon, who we are reliably informed is the governor of Missouri. And ... More >>

Comment of the Day: The Debate Over Last Meal Requests On Death Row

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Gov. Rick Perry May Have Used Taxpayer Dollars To Promote "The Response", Says ACLU

Photo by Mandy OaklanderReverend Barry Lynn and Terri Burke are protesting The Response​Diversity-minded, Constitution-abiding folks are pissed at tomorrow's one-day Jesus camp called "The Response." Governor Rick Perry, of course, is the belle of the ball. It's a little complicated since he' ... More >>

Even While Accepting Help on Wildfires, Rick Perry Blasts Obama

Too little and late, Perry says.​President Obama today signed an order declaring 45 Texas counties to be disaster areas because of wildfires, and even while saying the action was "good for Texas," Governor Rick Perry couldn't resist criticizing Obama. "President Obama's decision to finally ap ... More >>

Groping-Obsessed Rick Perry Isn't Satisfied With Your Policy Changes, TSA

There shall be no groping in the Republic of Texas​The federal Transportation Securty Administration has announced policy changes that mean children under 12 will no longer undergo pat-down searches. In case you were thinking that might be enough for Governor Rick Perry to end his bizarre ant ... More >>

Rick Perry V. Florida Governor Rick Scott: Who Makes The More Pathetic NBA Finals Joke?

Meeting of the titans​The NBA Finals start tonight (the Rockets are not involved, if you haven't been keeping up). It's the Dallas Mavericks against the Miami Heat, and that means a silly little bet between Governor Rick Perry and Florida Governor Rick Scott, two of the more Tea Party-esque go ... More >>

Rick Perry Wades into Foreign Policy

But he can't see Russia from his front porch.​Governor Rick Perry has told reporters he's too busy with the legislative session to think about running for the presidency, but luckily -- news flash!! -- the legislative session is dealing with American foreign policy. Apparently. Perry's office ... More >>

Perry For President 2012: And So It Begins?

A nation shudders.​The conservative Web site Real Clear Politics is reporting it is detecting whiffs of Governor Rick Perry gearing up to run for president in 2012. "A Texas pol who is close to Perry has been telling a few key strategists that the nation's longest-serving governor sees a vacu ... More >>

Legislative Victory for Texas Beer

kMatherlyCheers indeed. Local breweries celebrate a win in the House of Representatives.Just as we were bemoaning the huge, wet bite the IRS took out of our savings account, along comes an example of tax dollars being put to good use. On April 21 the office of State Representative Jessica Farrar (D, ... More >>

Local State Senator Pushing for Sunday Liquor Sales in Texas

pamlaneSunday Funday indeed.​Such times as these - the economy in recession, federal and state governments mired in debt, and more than 8 percent unemployment - are leading state lawmakers around the country to question the financial logistics of blue laws restricting any business from operati ... More >>

Come and Bake It

Local movement fights for cottage food bill.

Rick Perry's Cuts: Good for Polluters, Electricity Companies; Bad for Commissions Who Opposed His Wife's Renovation Plans

Rick Perry, stomping on the Historical Commission​Rick Perry's State of the State speech today made clear that the lamestream media has it all wrong when it comes to the financial health of Texas. "Have the doomsayers forgotten that Texas added more jobs in 2010 than any other state?" he aske ... More >>

Texas Finances in Tatters, State Tells HISD It's "The New Normal"

Get used to it​Chief Financial Officer Melinda Garrett passed on the new buzz phrase coming out of the state capital at today's Houston ISD workshop session: "The New Normal," which is being used to explain that the current state budget crisis isn't a transitory thing but something that will b ... More >>

Ron Paul for Senate: New Poll Says Texans Demand It

Ron Paul: Let the campaign begin!​As America faces the challenges of the 21st century, it is safe to say it needs as many Pauls in the Senate as possible. And we're not talking first names, either. Texas, it seems, agrees. A new poll from PPP shows Texans are demanding that Kay Bailey Hutchi ... More >>

Texas Gay Divorce: Court Rules Against Abbott, But on Technical Terms

Greg Abbott's attempt to grandstand is rejected​Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott intervened as fast as he could in a lesbian divorce case in Austin, but it wasn't fast enough, an appeals court has ruled. Abbott wanted to intervene in the suit because God knows if he didn't it would have led ... More >>

The Texas Lege: Five Crazy Things It Will Debate In 2010

Come for the budget-cutting, stay for the insanity​We regret to inform you that 2011 is one of those godforsaken years when the Texas Legislature will be in session. We further regret to inform you that Republicans have a supermajority in the House, and almost half of those GOPers are proud m ... More >>

Texas To EPA: Keep Your Hands Off Our Rubber Stamp!!

Texas goes to court​As expected, Texas state officials are not just going to roll over and accept the Obama administration's taking away their right to rubber-stamp every application to let companies pour greenhouses gases into the air. Texas AG Greg Abbott went to court today, filing a petit ... More >>

Return to Sender

What Would Comprehensive Immigration Reform Look Like If the Feds Got Off Their Duffs?

Just What America Needs: Four More Texas Votes In The U.S. House Of Representatives

Texas is a big winner​Republicans in the Texas Legislature have already been salivating over the opportunity to redraw Congressional districts with little to no interference from those annoying Democrats. The U.S. Census just handed them another gift: Four more seats to mess with. A 20 perce ... More >>

Turkey Of The Year Runner-Up: Bill White

Bill White loses another race​It's a week or so away from the 2010 Turkeys of the Year issue, where we honor what is best in Turkeydom for the past year. This will be our eighth edition of the awards, and as always competition is stiff. Building up to the grand announcement of the winners, we' ... More >>

Bobbi Mihal: Suit Says Farouk Shami's Company Fired Her For Not Being Muslim

Woman says she was fired for not being Muslim​Does the son of former Texas gubernatorial candidate and Houston hair product mogul Farouk Shami dislike white people?According to a former employee of Shami's company, Farouk Systems, which reportedly pulled in $27.4 million in revenue in 2008, the an ... More >>

King Street "Patriots": Voter Intimidation Continues At Polling Stations Around Houston

Photo by Chasen MarshallIf the signs don't sway you, the poll watchers might.​Polling stations around Houston have turned into bastions of controversy this week: Fourteen reported incidents Monday and another that Hair Balls heard about on Wednesday in south Houston near Gulfgate. There are few d ... More >>

Tea Party: Coming Soon To Texas License Plates?

Courtesy MyPlates.comJust a historical reference, nothing political​Texas -- ever eager to do its part to foment rightwing nuttism -- may be giving official state sanction to the Tea Party, via license plates.New proposed license plates from MyPlates.com are out for review, and they include the "D ... More >>

Campaign 2010: 7 Great Moments In Political History

The governor of Texas talks about seceding from the United States of America. Remember when we all thought that was a goofy moment?It turned out to be only a tease for the rest of the political year. When it comes to politics in 2010, things got a whole lot weirder.And we're not even talking about c ... More >>

Bill White the Loser, HISD Declares

Bill White's going down, HISD declares​Houston ISD's assessment of the upcoming state legislative session on Monday began with the declaration that Bill White doesn't have a chance and that Rick Perry will continue as governor. Rebecca Flores, the director of Government Relations for HISD, and bo ... More >>

Get Out!

Arizona and America join Joe Arpaio in rushing to inquire: Are your papers in order?

Money, Marbles and Chalk! An Affectionate Sketch of Ann Richards

Actress Holland Taylor plays the late Texas governor

Credit Repair

Overwhelmed by debt? Hey, pay a company to get rid of it by saying it never really happened in the first place.

"American Civil War Field Notes: Sketches from Cairo to Columbia"

Embedded Illustrators on display at O'Kane Gallery