Weddings

Yes, I'm In Love With a Stripper

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D! BURNED BY THE RELATIVE I LOANED MONEY Dear Willie D: I loaned my cousin $500 more than six ... More >>

The 10 Most Overplayed Songs at Mexican Weddings, Texas Edition

Earlier this month, Rocks Off contributor and all-around nice guy Jeff Balke enlightened us with this little list of songs that are standard operating procedure at weddings. But as much as I love "Twist & Shout" and "YMCA," in my very Mexican experience, those songs were not what I was used to heari ... More >>

10 Totally Played Out Wedding Songs That Will Still Pack the Dance Floor at Your Reception

Years ago, a wedding planner told me the basis of a successful wedding is remembering that primarily the ceremony is for the bride, the food is for the groom, the photos are for the family and the music is for the friends. While not 100 percent accurate, it does form the basis of a pretty successful ... More >>

The 10 Best Places To Get Married In Houston

June is the month for weddings, because if there's one situation you want to find yourself in, it's at an outdoor wedding in a Houston summer. With the closing of longtime wedding fave Vargo's, Houston has lost a go-to wedding destination. But there are plenty of other places that would make a good ... More >>

John Caparulo

Trite Wedding: 5 Ceremony Song Suggestions That Aren't Your Usual Crap

Rocks Offs day job is as a clerk in a sheet music store, and this is the time of year when a lot of people start coming in to buy sheet music for their weddings. Frankly, it's one of the most monotonous parts of the job. 99 percent of the people pick the same, unimaginative pieces over and over agai ... More >>

Jeremiah Clarke: Why You Shouldn't Play "Trumpet Voluntary" at Your Wedding

Today is the 337th birthday of composer and organist Jeremiah Clarke. You have heard his most famous work dozens of times in your life and never really thought about it. Clarke composed the "Prince of Denmark March," which is usually called "Trumpet Voluntary." Due to a mix up in a famous songbook, ... More >>

The Virgin Diaries and TLC's Reality Show Circus

It's rarely enjoyable watching other people kiss (why stand on the sidelines when you could get in the game?), but this commercial for TLC's The Virgin Diaries features kissing that is downright gross. You can't blame the couple too much, of course, because they saved the first kiss of their lives ... More >>

Top 10 Songs To Leave Out Of Your Wedding Reception

​'Tis the summer season for tying the knot. But curse the occasion for creating the ultimate breeding ground for bad music - wedding receptions. It's one thing to unplug the jukebox in an act of defiance or flee a venue playing bad songs (I've done all of the above), but one doesn't exactly h ... More >>

Mamma Mia!

Alexander McCall Smith

Seven Musical Marriages Sullied By Proposition 8's Repeal

​Just in case you're one of the very few people who hasn't yet been seized by government shock troops and forced to marry someone of the same sex, a California Supreme Court judge ruled Proposition 8 unconstitutional Wednesday. This would be the proposition which officially defines marriage as ... More >>

What's a Little Marriage Fraud Between Amigos?

It's a felony, sure, but in the absence of real immigration reform, some young, assimilated illegal immigrants see it as their best path to citizenship.

Top Five Worst Wedding Desserts

amchuNo, gracias.​My previous post on the Top Five Worst Wedding Hors D'Oeuvres prompted a request (thank you, reader Hadyn) for a similar list on the worst wedding desserts. While standard wedding cake can be boring, it remains a popular choice for good reasons: It usually tastes good, pose ... More >>

Top Five Worst Wedding Hors D'Oeuvres

elana's pantry​Ah, June. 'Tis the season for weddings, which means feckless DJs, lugubrious toasts, and gratis (but questionable) food and drink. Although these days most brides and grooms have gone creative with their cocktail hour comestibles (bleu cheese-stuffed figs wrapped in bacon! minia ... More >>

Bros Before Hos: Tales From The Wedding-Band Front Lines

Courtesy Allen Hill EntertainmentAllen Hill (left) would rather not play "Take a Letter, Maria" at weddings, but he will.​ Sting once stated in an interview about The Police's trademark song "Every Breath You Take" that he was bewildered by the tune's popularity at weddings. It is, after all, a so ... More >>

2010's Hottest Wedding Jams: Aventura, Lady Gaga, Pantera(!?)

​ In the immortal words of Vince Vaughan, "Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye" "It's wedding season, kid!" Whether you're taking the plunge yourself, in the bridal or groom's party or just crashing, Rocks Off thinks knowing what you'll be dancing to at the reception is just as i ... More >>

HISD Teacher Needs Only One More Win To Become "Groom Of The Year"

Ernie Bainbridge, a teacher at HISD's Walnut Bend Elementary, has only one person to beat to become the "Groom of the Year" for Brides magazine.The March Madness-style bracket challenge has him facing off in the finals against a musician from Nashville. Bainbridge would be very happy if you voted fo ... More >>

The Drunk Bride & The Jail: The Continuing Saga From Someone Who Hates Publicity

So it's your wedding night. Your new hubby is driving you from the reception to your hotel. You get stopped. He gets charged with DWI, and you get charged with public intoxication. You're wearing your wedding dress in a courtroom and a photog snaps your picture. Suddenly you're the face of the "Marc ... More >>

Hurricane Rachael Ray

Here she comes to save the day

Just A Simple Wedding For 50 At Minute Maid Park

Brandon Backe Wants A Riot Of His Own

Oh, Canada

Midway through the Toronto film fest, and things are looking bleak

Relatively Well-Known Younger Sister of Fabricated Pop Star Marries Hot Topic Punk Wannabe in Non Denominational Ceremony in Encino

Going to the Chapel, Going to Jail

I Do, I Do!

Desi Does It

Gods and Lovers

During their massive, five-day Indian wedding, a local couple was worshipped

Poor Baby

The Alley premieres a comedy no better than a generic pilot for a canceled sitcom

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

The Canons of Courting

Or, eight simple rules for dating my teenage daughter

Best Mexican Bakery

Touchdown the Aisle

A new line of wedding dresses helps brides tackle their football-lovin' hubbies-to-be

Best Place for a Wedding

Harmony Wedding Chapel

Adaptation

Mildred's Umbrella Theater Company explores the creative process in Things Being at the Worst

High-Tech Shia Pet

A Houston computer whiz uses the Internet to become a Muslim marriage matchmaker

Best Fabric Store

High Fashion Fabrics

The Hitch

Matrimonial safe haven hits Harris County. But the INS honeymoon ends with April.

Shotgun Wedding

With Planner, rookie filmmakers force their characters into some compromising situations

Altared States

Stephen Sondheim's timeless musical about marriage ponders the Company we keep

Altar Ego

Azita went looking for a wedding sponsor. All she got was a reprimand.

Best Band to Leave Houston

I-45

Here Come the Brides

Wedding gowns? Check. Priest? Check. TV crews? Check. Linda and Elli strike a blow for Gay Rights!

Left Standing at the Church Door

Bering Methodist stops all weddings if there can't be gay marriages

The Trouble with Larry

Could castration cure Larry McQuay of his urge to molest children? He thinks it can, and wants the state to nueter him. Others would just like to neutralize him.

Bridesmaid's Bash

Gypsy Theatre gets some light fun out of wedding talk

Shotgun Marriage

Vince Ryan's Distress

His campaign manager's gone, his headquarters got smoked, but domestic bliss awaits

A Comedy of Marryment