Xanax

10 Other Musicians Who Should Have Said "Blow Me"

The line between rock star and cranky toddler can be a fine one; deny them their candy and you've got tears welling up and naughty words being shrieked at ear-bursting decibels. Every once in a blue moon, though, a rational thought will pipe up from said rock star, and it deserves a little bit of no ... More >>

Three Legislature Bills Would Loosen Texas' Extraordinarily Loose Pollution Guidelines (Yay?)

Texas law has always been a little loose -- and yes, in this phraseology "loose" is code for kind of slutty -- about environmental regulation, but now the state legislature has a few bills bouncing around during the 83rd legislative session that may make it looser than Lindsey Lohan after some booze ... More >>

Christmas Past: 10 Christmas Songs That Are Really About Drugs

While we celebrate the holidays, Rocks Off is resurrecting a few of our best Christmas-themed blogs from the past few years. (Wait... resurrecting is Easter. Never mind.) This blog originally appeared October 26, 2011. Halloween is right around the corner, so you know what that means: Time to start ... More >>

Returning War Contractors Face Second Battle, Against AIG

Whatever your role in the U.S. war effort, if you were injured overseas, at least you'd be covered back home, right?

Alexandria Alexxis Gonzales: Jailhouse Search Misses 92 Xanax In Her "Crotch Area"

Alexandria Alexxis Gonzales may have been drunk enough to get arrested for public intoxication, but she was smart enough to keep the 92 Xanax pills she had hidden during the ensuing jailhouse search. On the other hand, she was unsmart enough to later be overheard by jailers making a statement "whic ... More >>

For Mother's Day: Five Very, Very Bad Candidates for Mom of the Year

For at least some part of our lives, all of us have had a mother. Some are great, some are terrible, but most are in-between. But even if your mother was closer to Courtney Love than to Clair Huxtable, you should count yourself lucky you are not the offspring of any of the women in this round-up of ... More >>

Colorado Sues Some Mag Crews; Maybe Texas Should Take a Gander?

Colorado's Attorney General is suing the owners of a door-to-door magazine sales service, accusing them of deceiving consumers in Colorado and across the country. Filed April 23 in Denver County District Court, the suit against Jennifer Proffitt-Payne and Cody Payneists a bevvy of corporate names ... More >>

Coroner: Drowning, Drugs Killed Whitney Houston

The Los Angeles County Coroner's Office has finally released the toxicology report in Whitney Houston's death shortly before the Grammys last month, and it both is and is not a surprise. According to Yahoo, the coroner says Houston, who was found in the bathtub of her fourth-floor room in the Bever ... More >>

Geneva Espinoza: Coke in Her Panties, 3-Year-Old Running Free in the Back Seat, X, Xanax -- Mom of the Year

Geneva Espinoza: Littering will get you every time.​Remember, kids, don't litter on the highway. Especially if you're carrying a veritable evidence room's worth of illicit drugs, including the ol' coke-in-the-panties trick. Geneva Espinoza, 24, found this out when a Webster cop saw her tailg ... More >>

Tess Ferguson: Facebook "About Me" of a Channelview Meth User

FacebookTess "the Mess" Ferguson: Likes: Murder Suicide and "Gruge Fucks." Dislikes: Sugar and spice and everything nice.​According to court records, Harris County sheriff deputies arrested 26-year-old Tess Ferguson yesterday. This time, she been charged with possession of meth -- between four ... More >>

Collins and Gorathy Uwake: Feds Seize Over $1M and Five Fancy Cars in Drug Raid

Wikipedia CommonsOf the five rides cops seized in their raid, police say that Collins Uwake loved his Titan the best.​With a Missouri City drug raid late last month, agents from the DEA and multiple other local and state agencies closed an investigation into the activities of husband-and-wife ... More >>

10 Christmas Songs That Are Really About Drugs

memecenter.comMerry fuckin' Christmas, mang.​Halloween is right around the corner, so you know what that means: Time to start making a list and checking it twice. Bourbon, gin, scotch, vodka, Xanax, painkillers... Walgreen's and CVS have already stocked their shelves with wrapping paper, plas ... More >>

Crystal Crime Report, 2011: It Really Is The Female Version of Wayne

As is well-known, when it come to crimes committed by men, Wayne is the name. Less well known but no less true is the fact that Crystal (including variant spellings) is the female equivalent. Oh yeah, she's a Crystal​We first put forth this hypothesis last March and furnished numerous example ... More >>

Cops Raid Northwest Side Barber Shop, Find Stupefying Quantity and Variety of Drugs

This is almost as freaky as Goodfellaz​My oh my the Goodfellaz Master Barber Shop certainly did live up to it's gangster-iffic name, if a court document Hair Balls obtained is to be believed. On August 4, a gang/narcotics investigation culminated with a raid on the North Houston Rosslyn Road ... More >>

Ex-Con Jason Wayne Crockett Lives Up to Middle Name and Nickname

Brazos County JailJason Wayne "Crash 'Em Up" Crockett​We've said it before and we are duty-bound to say it again: Please, parents, get off the Wayne train when your baby needs a name. And as if having that apparently-crime-causing middle name wasn't bad enough, 28-year-old Jason Wayne Crocket ... More >>

As Seen On TV: The 20 Best Made-For-TV Compilations

​One of the saddest side effects of the digital music explosion in the late '90s and early '00s was the decline of the made-for-television compilation. Nevertheless, companies like Razor & Tie and Time Life still continue to put out monstrous collections of music for you to order online and by ... More >>

The Media Loves Your Album. Who Are You?

​If Rolling Stone loves your album, it means... • You are a well-established musician with legions of loyal fans who may be interested in perhaps taking out some full-page advertisements in, oh, say, some kind of mainstream rock publication. • Your album was released 30 years ago and our ... More >>

If Executed, What Are Your Last Words And Last Meal?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Bun B, Yung Redd, D-Risha, hasHBrown, Kyle Hubbard, Z-Ro, Kiotti Not Invited: ... More >>

Arun Sharma, Pill Mill Doctor Found With $1.5 Million in Cash, Gets 15 Years

Few questions asked​Arun Sharma, the Kemah doctor who ran wildly successful if not exactly overly supervised pain clinics -- and who had $1.5 million in cash in his house and safety deposit boxes when arrested -- got sentenced to 15 years in prison today. Sharma was also ordered to forfeit $4 ... More >>

Happy Hour Scene: Canyon Creek Cafe

​The Place: Canyon Creek Café 6603 Westcott 713-864-5885 The Hours: 4 to 7 p.m. Mondays through Fridays The Deals: $2.75 domestic drafts, $3 domestic bottles, $4 wells, plus various all-day specials The Scene: I try not to engage in crutch-texting in awkward situations. I'm a grown-up, rea ... More >>

Chase Langston Wiatt: Facebook Chronicles a Year of Alleged Petty (And Not-So-Petty) Crime

Chase Wiatt: Letting it all out on FB​Chase Langston Wiatt has had quite a run, but with his latest felony arrest, the 19-year-old Crosby resident's luck might just have run out. For the second time since June of 2009, Wiatt stands accused of assaulting someone with his car, and you would th ... More >>

Juggalo Hijinks

A Facebook crime spree.

Dr. Fadi Ghanem: The Doctor Will See You Now, Especially If You Want Home-Grown Weed

To the hydroponic marijuana!!​Dr. Fadi Ghanem is a 48-year-old family practitioner in The Woodlands. He also, apparently, is something of a weed horticulturalist who pissed someone off. Police say he had a hyroponic marijuana set-up in his home. It sounds like he took a lot of precautions wit ... More >>

Henry Fairlie: Harris County Jail Officer Charged With Smuggling Drugs & Contraband

Photo courtesy HCSOHenry Fairlie: Trying to keep the customers satisfied​The concierge service at the Harris County Jail just got a little more inadequate: a detention officer has been arrested and charged with trying to deliver drugs and contraband into the facility.Note to incarcerated customers ... More >>

Last Night: Jack Johnson At The Woodlands

Photos by Liana Lopez​Jack Johnson Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion August 18, 2010 Check out a slideshow from last night's concert. The dirty secret about Jack Johnson is that he may be the closest thing this generation has to the iconic singer-songwriters our parents grew up with in the lat ... More >>

RJD2: A Day In The Life Of A Minotaur

Every day Rocks Off trolls the tubes of you in search of videos to share. If you have something that you think deserves to be video of the day, send a link to jef_rouner at yahoo dot com. ​Your daily VJ's favorite mythical creature is without a doubt the Minotaur. Born from a bestial boinking ... More >>

Dead Meadow

Undercover Narc Nails Big Bust At Rural High School

​West Columbia is about 45 miles southwest of here; don't feel too bad if you haven't heard of it. The Brazoria County town has about 4,300 residents, 16 of whom are facing drug charges after an undercover operation in the local high school.A school-district cop went undercover at the school in Ja ... More >>

Sharp-Dressed Fans

Billy Gibbons and other Houstonians share their favorite Astros memories.

Astro Memories, Part Two: Author/ Supermodel Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top

Photos by Bob Merlis​As we mentioned earlier, today's issue -- our annual look at Astros' Opening Day -- takes what Sarah Palin would no doubt call a "hopey-changey" approach to the 2010 season.Not for us to wallow in despair; instead we asked prominent Houstonians for their favorite Astro memorie ... More >>

The Great Green Room In the Sky: The Grim Reaper's 2009 Musical Roll Call

​Thankfully, 2009 was a sorry year for the Greil Marcus Rock Death Meter. Aside from the not terribly unexpected (but still weird) demise of the King of Pop, few bona fide legends went on to the Great Green Room Beyond the Sky. The Rock Death Meter rates rock deaths on a ten-point scale in three c ... More >>

Aftermath: AC/DC, Deja Vu All Over Again - Except Maybe Better - at Toyota Center

Photos by Daniel KramerYes, you've seen these photos before - hey, it's not our fault. Trust us, the band pretty much looks the same.​ Aftermath suspected AC/DC's return to Toyota Center might be a little similar to the ageless Aussies' December 2008 Black Ice tour stop here because, well, we chea ... More >>

This Week in Deliciousness

Golden-brown is the proper tone for any loaf of sourdough / Hollywood starlet.​Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where today we're bitterly sniffling at the fact that everyone else from the office is at the Austin City Limits festival. It's cool! There's lots of fun ... More >>

Labor Pains

With Extract, Mike Judge goes back to work.

The Bachelorette Kicks Houstonian's Ass

Photo courtesy ABCThe evil she-devil who broke Sasha's heartRecent additions to the list of Things We Did Not Know:1) The Bachelorette is still on TV.2) There was a Houston guy competing to be whatever it is you compete to be on The Bachelorette.3) He lost.Not only that, but the guy he lost to is "a ... More >>

Playbill: The Helio Sequence, Dri Tonight at Rudyard's

With songs bathed in lush synths and sleepy vocals, the Helio Sequence could be the thinking man's Killers, albeit with less pop theatrics and corporate glitter. Keep Your Eyes Ahead, last year's release on indie magnet Sub Pop was the duos first since 2004's mournful Love And Distance. Helio dishes ... More >>

In The Audience At One Of Those Fake-Judge "Reality" Shows

There isn't much better in life than the daytime courtroom drama, so when Hair Balls had the opportunity to sit in the audience for a taping of the Judge Alex show, we jumped. To our disappointment, however, Judge Alex does not hold court in an actual court room, but in the Fox studios on the Southw ... More >>

Arthur Yoria: 281

The Drug Sweeps Are Ending At HISD (For One Reason Or Another)

The Houston school district is coming under heavy fire for its "no-tolerance" drug-dog searches of school parking lots, mostly because they nabbed a popular West U teacher who is very likely to be proven innocent.West U residents, when they get up in arms, tend to get results. HISD superintendent Ab ... More >>

Is Harris County Jail the Place for A Mentally Troubled Teen?

Laura Howard got tossed into a jail treatment program, but it was the wrong one for someone whose mental health was in tatters

7th Annual Houston Area Arcade Expo

Reach for your joystick at this yearly gathering of gamers

We Read The Small-Town Police Blotters, So You Don’t Have To

Silver Jews

Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea www.silverjews.net

Feel My Pain

A reporter goes after the online drug business and gets wasted

Feel My Pain

A reporter goes after the online drug business and gets wasted

"Red" Hot

DJ-producer Tony Moran stops by South Beach for a scandalous Valentine's Day party

How Long, Oh, Lord, How Long

Another outpost of crap plops onto the Houston dial, as this open letter reveals

Sudden Impact

What could be safer than dropping your kid off at the movies? A lot of things, as it turns out.

Doobieous Bust

Undercover cops infiltrate a pro-pot event, but don't weed out much from the crowd