5 Food Celebrities We'd Rather See Naked Than Anthony Bourdain (and 5 We Wouldn't)
Stars and hearts over the naughty bits, so this is almost 100 percent safe for work. Almost.
In case you hadn't heard -- especially since the man himself Tweeted the pic -- a nude photo of Anthony Bourdain surfaced yesterday, taken 12 years prior while on vacation. To quote Bourdain on the photo's origin, "My wife took 'em. Fuck it. Welcome to the Caribbean."
It's not the first time we've seen Mr. Bourdain in the nude, although the first time famously featured the chef holding a bone in front of his...er...bone. So the news that TMZ had acquired a "legit" nude photo of the chef wasn't really all that exciting.
Because as much as we like Bourdain (and as much as we agree with the fact that he's got a killer tan in the photo), he's not the celeb at the top of our "celebrities we want to see naked" list. He's not even the celeb at the top of our "food celebrities we want to see naked list."
But these folks are.
Food Celebrities We Want To See Naked:
5. Gail Simmons
It just seems like all of her would be equally...perky... She's also prettier in person than we thought she could possibly be. Sigh.
4. Sophie Dahl
She may have lost a lot of her signature weight, but she's still gorgeous to us -- and possibly more gorgeous to those who like their women on the skinny side. (Of course, to see Ms. Dahl nude, you really only need turn to her infamous Yves Saint Laurent campaign.)
3. Ludovic Lefebre
It's a romance novel cover come to life...with fish.
You'll always be our English muffin, you cheeky bird.
2. Nigella Lawson
Even Nigella wants to see Nigella naked.
We'd say g'day to Stone's down under.
1. Curtis Stone
This man is so pretty it hurts. Thanks, Australia. This makes up for Natalie Imbruglia.
Food Celebrities We DO NOT WANT To See Naked:
5. Jamie Oliver
We do not care if Naked Chef is in the title of his show, we still don't want to see his pasty English ass naked and possibly weeping on screen.
Padmannequin models the latest line of bracelets from Anne Klein.
4. Padma Lakshmi
We can only imagine it would be like looking at a mannequin before it's dressed and put in a store window. Besides, she's already half-naked most of the time anyway. The thrill is gone.
Remember that time Danny Bonaduce competed on Iron Chef: America?
3. Bobby Flay
So much of Flay's posturing and antics seem to be manifested from deep-seated insecurity. We're not exactly sure where that insecurity comes from, but also don't want to find out face-to-face. (See also: DiSpirito, Rocco)
Jaunty meatscarf notwithstanding.
2. Mario Batali
So much hair. So much ginger hair. All over the place. Like a shag carpet in the basement of the Brady Bunch house.
1. Paula Deen
Quod erat demonstrandum.
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