The Proletariat's Alien Secretion
The Proletariat's Alien Secretion
Troy Fields

Alien Secretion

The Montrose hipster staple The Proletariat (903 Richmond, 713-523-1199) is a fantastic place to check out a band and shoot some pool. Unfortunately, it's not always a fantastic place to get a drink. I'm reminded of this as I'm waiting at the bar for ten, 15, 20 minutes, trying to get the only-semi-busy bartender's attention as he serves just about everyone else in the entire bar. In fact, I'm pretty sure the guy's childhood imaginary friend will get a drink before I do. Waving cash can sometimes help, but tonight it's absolutely pointless. I'm still waiting to start a tab when a girl sits next to me, asks which band I'm here to see, and then is immediately greeted by the bartender. So much for impartial customer service. I get the girl to order something on my behalf and then take stock of the rest of the place. Basically, The Proletariat is the bar equivalent of an Interpol album: dreary without being depressing. The scene is attractive yet inherently snooty, with cold-war-esque black and red paint and those light bulbs that hang from cords. Turning my attention back to the bartender, I ask him for a specialty drink and a recipe. He looks at me like I just shat on his MacBook, then says, "Let me think about it." After waiting ten, 15, 20 more minutes, I turn around to talk to a friend getting carded at the door, and when I turn back, the bartender is leaving. How perfect. Another ten, 15, 20 more minutes pass, and I finally get a decent bartender who helps me out with my specialty drink, which is called an Alien Secretion. You can bet that next time I come to The Prole, I'll bring a hot girl with me to move things along.

1 ounce Malibu rum
1 ounce Stoli Vanil vodka
1/2 ounce Midori
1/2 ounce sweet & sour mix
Splash orange juice
Splash pineapple juice

Combine Malibu, Stoli, Midori and sweet & sour mix in a rocks glass. Add juices. Top off with ice. Clean off the MacBook.


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