An Unsuccessful Attempt at Battling Jet Lag with Whataburger

An Unsuccessful Attempt at Battling Jet Lag with Whataburger
Photo by Christina Uticone

I normally wouldn't revisit a Fast Times destination again so quickly after another recent review, but this week hunger and convenience forced my hand. After tumbling off of a six-and-a-half-hour flight from Anchorage, my husband and I were hungry and exhausted, and a Whataburger smorgasbord breakfast seemed in order.

We threw it down, ordering the following to share: sausage, egg & cheese Biscuit Sandwich; bacon, egg & cheese Breakfast on a Bun; a bacon and a sausage Taquito with cheese; hash brown sticks and coffee.

As I drove back to our apartment, my husband Josh ripped into the Biscuit Sandwich, complimenting the "actually cooked, real egg" and the fluffy biscuit -- and then he ate the whole damn thing before we got home. All I can say is, boy did that biscuit look good. As for how the rest of the meal tasted...

...this was hands-down the most totally average Whataburger meal I have had yet. I'm pretty sure I would be singing a different tune had I gotten a few bites (or even a good goddamn whiff) of the biscuit sandwich, which looked heavenly. Unfortunately, my Taquitos and my Breakfast on a Bun sandwich left a lot to be desired. It's tough to be underwhelmed by hot, fatty, salty fast food when you are ravenously hungry and too tired to boil water for pasta, but that was what happened. That's not to say I didn't eat most of it -- my fridge was empty, man! -- but I didn't enjoy much.

The Breakfast on a Bun was a much less real-looking egg than that on the biscuit sandwich my husband was so excited about, but even so it was the best-tasting item. The bun was nothing special -- just a regular old hamburger bun -- but the basic formula was executed well enough: egg, gooey cheese and microwave bacon on a toasted egg bun. I could have done with a little more toasting to offset the bun oil's soggifying effect on the bread, and maybe a dash of salsa or hot sauce or something. No matter how you cut it, the Breakfast on a Bun is still better than an Egg McMuffin.

The Taquitos were just plain boring, though. Egg, cheese and breakfast meat rolled in tortilla with no sauce? That is nothing to get excited about whatsoever. All Whataburger really has to do is throw on some of its grilled peppers and onions and we've got ourselves a delicious breakfast, but as is these taquitos are a dud -- stick with the Whataburger Chicken Fajita Taco, which packs a lot more flavor for about the same amount of calories (420).

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