I head over to the Cue & Cushion (510 Shepherd, 713-861-7644) to mull over a bomb that someone dropped on me; without going into specifics, I'd say the half-life of this news is about five years. Needless to say, I want to be left alone, and what better place than a billiards joint whose sign permanently advertises "Tuesday Ladies' Night"? In the bar I'm immediately faced with a one-two punch of solitude — the place is packed with more pool tables than people and the bartender is on the phone with her mother. I assume the conversation has something to do with cats, because a guy within earshot starts in about how felines constantly redefine "douchebaggery"; apparently his girlfriend's tabby is responsible for the well-placed holes in his pants that I'm now consciously avoiding. A few litter box stories later, I ask Vicky the bartender about the tall, yellow glass sitting in front of my drunk friend. She gets as far as "double shot of Tuaca" before I cut her off and order two. At this point the cat lover catches wind of my situation and suggests that "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Usually when someone offers advice through a cliché, I react by taking a crap in his Cheerios. Tonight is no exception. So I point out that, to make lemonade, life has to give you sugar, too; and with a well-deserved snarl, he puts me in my place. "Well, who the hell needs sugar when you've got liquor?" Long story short: I definitely like this bar.
2 1/2 oz Tuaca
1 1/2 oz sweet and sour mix
2 packets of table sugar
Half a lemon, juiced
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Combine ingredients on the rocks, then shake, strain and serve.