Maybe it has something to do with the bar's steak night. Maybe the builder of these cramped quarters had something against out-of-sight storage. The first thing that struck me when I sat down at PJ's Sports Bar (614 West Gray, 713-520-1748) was the enormous assortment of economy-sized condiments and seasoning shakers on the bar: caraway seeds, Adam's cinnamon sticks, El Charrita fajita seasoning, Encore celery salt, Lucas lemon salt seasoning...Not only were the condiments taking up space, but I had to make sure I didn't knock over a doodled-on quarter-slit leukemia donation card or smack my knuckles against a rather imposing stack of soda cans. The whirring Lakewood table fan on the beer cases in the corner was doing about 110 rpm, giving me the sense I was at some rural airfield instead of a corner bar in Montrose. When I tired of the beer I was drinking, I asked for sweet vermouth and a can of Safeway brand soda water. But the vermouth was so old it was vinegar, so the bartender threw it out and suggested I try root beer on tap and vodka (Stoli Vanil would have been perfect, but he chose PJ's well vodka, McCormick). The drink was refreshing, but I still wanted to know why there were WWF action figures in their original packaging behind the bar.

PJ's Root Beer Float:

1 1/2 ounces vodka (Stoli Vanil, if you want to make it authentic)
5 ounces Thomas Kemper draft root beer

Pour vodka into a pint glass filled with ice. Top off with root beer, and finish with a soda straw.